Saturday 6 May 2017

Doctor Who - The Pirate Planet "I'll never be cruel to an electron in a particle accelerator again!"













OK time for yet another Doctor Who review and its another one that dates from the Tom Baker era in one of my least favourite produced eras of the show, the Graham Williams era (he produced three seasons from 1977-1980).

However the story in question is The Pirate Planet, which was written by Douglas Adams (best known of course for writing The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy) so surely it must be worth checking out???  Well let's take a look and find out!

And yes the usual warning is coming up....

PLOT SPOILERS ARE AHEAD!!!

STORY 

So, the story begins with the Doctor and his new companion, Romana (Mary Tamm) continue their quest to find all six segments of the key to time (as task given to the Doctor by the White guardian at the start of the story, The Ribos Operation).  And the key to time tracer leads them to the planet Calufrax but when they arrive they find a strange civilisation that lives in constant prosperity.  The society that live there are in fear of the Mentiads, who are strange band of people with mysterious powers, who turn out to be friendly.

However the Doctor and Romana also soon encounter the leader of the planet, the Pirate Captain Bruce Purchase) a villainous cyborg, who has some serious ulterior motives in his actions.  The Doctor and Romana soon manage to escape the clutches of the Pirate Captain along with the help of the Doctor's robot dog companion, K-9 (voiced by John Leeson) and one of the locals, Kimus (David Warwick).

The Doctor and Romana soon take a lift down into a subterranean area of the planet and find that the surface of the planet is in fact hollow and it is also named Zanak.  Not only that but the planet itself can materialise around other planets and plunder their resources, thereby destroying or compacting them.  The Doctor later is recaptured by the Pirate Captain's men and taken to him where he reveals his private collection of the remains of the planets, which are now just compacted into small balls of granite, which are kept in trophy cabinets.  The Doctor also discovers that the Pirate Captain has been destroying the planets to plunder the materials in order to preserve the life force of an ancient tyrant, Queen Xanxia, who is also projected as a solid hologram, who calls herself Nurse (Rosalind Lloyd) who poses as a nurse to the Pirate Captain.

But even worse piece of news is around the corner as the Pirate Captain targets the planet Earth as his next target and its from here that the Doctor and Romana must try and find a way to stop the Captain from carrying out his wicked plan.....

THOUGHTS

After the disappointment of the previous and opening story to the Key to Time season (The Ribos Operation), The Pirate Planet is a very enjoyable, intelligent and creative story that sees things get a bit more back on track.  Douglas Adams script is both funny and imaginative and this is a story that really allows for the Doctor to shine as well as to continue his growing chemistry with Romana, even though at this stage he still shows signs of belittling her lack of experience in time and space travel.

PERFORMANCES AND NOTABLE SCENES (Warning: this section may contain spoilers!)

As for the performances, well they are mostly all good here and the cast are in good form.

Starting with Tom Baker, who is great again as the fourth doctor and this story allows for his doctor to wonderfully banter with his companions but also the supporting characters.

Tom naturally has his share of good scenes that include his first scene where Romana has consulted the ancient TARDIS instruction manual, much to the disapproval of the Doctor.  And in the scene Romana at one point asks the Doctor "What about the synchronic feedback checking circuit?" and the Doctor says "What about it?" and Romana says "Aren't you going to set it?" and the Doctor scornfully says "No, no, no. I never bother about that. Complete waste of time!".  However Romana says otherwise "Oh, according to the manual, its essential!" and then the Doctor testily asks her "Listen, have you any idea how long I've been operating this Tardis?!" and Romana replies "523 years!" which surprises the Doctor, who says "Is it really that long?  My, how time flies!".

Then there is the scene where the Doctor and Kimus try to steal one of the aircars to try and make it onto the Pirate Captain's bridge but there is a nearby guard asleep in one.  And the Doctor asks regarding travel to the bridge "How do the guards get there?" and Kimus says "In their aircars, of course".  And Kimus spots one nearby and says "There's one over there" and the Doctor says "Help me borrow it" and Kimus bemused says "Borrow it?  That's the captain's" and the Doctor says "Well, I don't mind going first class, do you?".

Another good one is when the Doctor and Kimus arrive inside the mountain leading towards the Captain's bridge and they come to an archway and Kimus tries to run through but is instead rooted to the stop.  So the Doctor tells Kimus to stay put and says "There are so many things here you can't understand, and a linear induction corridor is one of them" and the Doctor presses a button hidden behind a metal wall panel and he steps into the archway and says to Kimus "See you later!".  And as the Doctor travels very fast through the archway he shouts out "I'll never be cruel to an electron in a particle accelerator again!!".  That line was in fact a reference to The Hitch Hiker's radio line "I'll never be cruel to a gin and tonic again!".

Then comes the scene where the Doctor is captured by the Pirate Captain and tied to a pillar and the Doctor says to the Captain " What are you doing it for, Captain? It doesn't make sense and you know it. I can understand the life of a full-blooded pirate, the thrill, the danger and the derring-do, but this? Hidden away in your mountain retreat eating other people's perfectly good planets, where's the derring-do in that?!".  And the Captain shouts "Silence!" and the Doctor says "You're just trying to shut me up. You can't kill me while I'm helpless" and the Captain says "Oh, can't I?" and the Doctor says "No, you can't, because you're a warrior, and it's against the warrior's code. You should have thought of that before you tied me up!".  And the Captain shouts "By the hounds of hell!!" and the Doctor says "Hard to listen, isn't it, Captain, when someone's got a finger on a nerve. What is it you're really up to? What do you want? You don't want to take over the universe, do you? No. You wouldn't know what to do with it, beyond shout at it!".

And lastly there is the scene where the Doctor (SPOILER) having nearly saved the day and with the Pirate Captain defeated he ties up a few loose ends and makes his way back to the TARDIS where he explains to Romana what he was up to.  So the Doctor tells Romana "I've switched the Captain's circuits around to create a hyperspatial force shield around the shrunken planets, then I put his dematerialisation control into remote mode!" and Romana asks "So we can operate them from here?" and the Doctor says "Precisely!".

And Romana says "But I still don't see how that helps" and the Doctor tells her "What? Well, first I dematerialise the Tardis, then I make Zanak dematerialise for a millisecond or two, then I invert the gravity field of the hyperspatial forceshield and drop the shrunken planets!" and Romana get's it and says "Into the hollow centre of Zanak!" and the Doctor grins "Exactly!".

So, Romana nedxt asks the Doctor "So what then?" and the Doctor replies "Well, I would have thought that was perfectly obvious. They expand in an instant to fill a hollow space and bang!".  Romana then asks the Doctor "How do we get a hold of Calufrax?" and the Doctor says "Well, naturally, Calufrax is flung off into the space time vortex and we pick it up later in the Tardis".  And Romana, impressed says "Well, naturally.  Oh, that's quite ingenious!" and the Doctor who feels a little disappointed in her faint press says "Quite ingenious???  Its brilliant!  Its fantastic!".

Mary Tamm next up is excellent as Romana, in her second story here, she already shares a very nice chemistry with Tom and the two of them bounce off each other well in this story.

Mary also has some good scenes that include the one where the Doctor and Romana have just arrived in the Zanak city and Romana chats with a local there but the Doctor has had no luck so far in being able to chat to anyone.

So in the scene, Romana offers the man some Jelly babies and she says "Would you like some jelly babies?" and the Doctor interrupts and says "Thank you very much" and the man asks "What are they?" and the Doctor replies "Sweets.  You eat them" and the man takes four and leaves.  And the Doctor asks Romana "Where did you get those jelly babies?" and Romana replies "Same place you get them" and the Doctor asks "Where?" and Romana says "Your pocket!".

Another good scene from Mary is where Romana is taken captive onboard the Captain's bridge where she is forced to try and repair a piece of equipment.  And the Captain asks her "Girl!  What is your diagnosis?!  Can it be repaired?!" and Romana says "Repaired? Yes, I should think so. You'd have to ask the Doctor, though".  So, the Captain then asks "The Doctor?! Are there more intruders on this planet?!" and Romana says "Oh yes. I'm only his assistant. He's the one you should be talking to. Or rather, listening to, if you have the stamina!".

Then there is the scecne where the Doctor and Romana are being forced to look and do some repair work in the engine room of the Captain's ship (or is it??!).  And in the scene the Doctor quietly talks to Romana as we see the Pirate Captain high up above watching them and the Doc says "We are in very, very, very great danger here" and Romana asks "What from the Captain?" and the Doctor replies "Yes".  But Romana dismisses the idea and says of the Captain "Oh, he's just a terrible old bully. All that by the evil nose of the sky demon nonsense is just bluster" but the Doctor says to her quietly "The Captain is a very clever and very dangerous man. He's playing with us. He wants to find out why we've come here".

And Romana reminds the Doctor "The reason why we've come here is to find the second segment of the key, in case you'd forgotten. Getting involved in all this...." and she produces the key to time tracer and the Doctor adds "Is the only way to find it".  So when Romana uses the tracer it creates another wild signal and she says to the Doctor  "I just don't understand it. It seems to give out a continuous signal wherever we go".

And lastly there is the scene where the Doctor shows Romana the Captain's trophy room of the remains of the planets he has plundered for their resources.  And the Doctor says to Romana "The Captain's trophy room.  Well, what do you think?" and Romana says "Incredible. A masterpiece of gravitic geometry!" and the Doctor says "Yes, obviously. All the forces cancel each other perfectly, otherwise Poof!".  And Romana says "So all that shouting and blustering was just an act to lull Xanxia into a false sense of security while he built this" and the Doctor tells her "Yes. Let that be a lesson to you, my girl. Never take anything at its face value".

John Leeson is very good once again as the voice of the Doctor's faithful robot dog, K-9, who does more than his share in helping the Doctor and Romana in their fight against the wicked Captain.

I will quickly mention one scene for Leeson and its the one near the start where the Doctor in the city of Zanak with Romana, tries to ask some of the locals a question but they keep walking away from him.  And the Doctor sighs and kneels next to K-9 and tells him "You're not doing very well, K-9" and K-9 says "Suggestion, Master" and the Doctor asks "What?" and K-9 tells him "Suggest you allow mistress to make contact".  But the Doctor scoffs at the suggestion and tells K-9 "Nonsense! Making contact with an alien race is an immensely skilled and delicate operation. It calls for tact and experience. What would she know about it?!".  And K-9 says to the Doctor "She's prettier than you, Master" and the Doctor almost taken aback says "Is she?!  What's that got to do with it?!".  

Brian Purchase is also pretty good as the villainous cyborg Pirate Captain, who spends most of his time ranting and raving to his underlings.

However to save a bit of time I will only mention a few of his scenes such as the one where the Pirate Captain shows the Doctor his trophy room.  And the Captain says to the Doctor "Yes, Doctor. Each of these small spheres is the crushed remains of a planet. Million upon millions of tons of compressed rock held suspended here by forces beyond the limits of the imagination. Forces that I have generated and harnessed!".  And the Doctor says "That's impossible! That amount of matter in so small a space would undergo instant gravitational collapse and form a black hole!" and the Captain says "Precisely!".

But the Doctor is outraged at what the Captain is up to and he asks "What's it for? Huh? What are you doing? What could possibly be worth all this?!" and then the Captain loses his temper and shouts "By the raging fury of the sky demon, you ask too many questions. You have seen, you have admired. Be satisfied and ask no more!".

Then there is the scene which is actually the cliffhanger of part three (SPOILER!!) where the Captain forces the Doctor to walk a plank on the bridge to meet his doom.  And the Captain says to the Doctor "A plank. The theory is very simple. You walk along it. At the end, you fall off, drop one thousand feet. Dead!".  And the Doctor pleads with the Captain "Captain, you don't realise what you're doing. If you just listen to me!" but the Captain is not interested and says "I shall listen to you when I hear you scream!".

And lastly there is the moment where the Captain's ship engines are damaged by the Mentiads and in the chaos, the Captain's second in command, Mr Fibuli is killed and the Captain, saddened, kneels over his body.  So the Captain says "Mister Fibuli, dead. Dead. He was a good man" and his nurse says to him "Pull yourself together, Captain. We can still defeat the rabble out there!" and the Captain vows to the deceased Mr Fibuli "Somehow, somehow, Mister Fibuli, my friend, you shall be avenged!".

Rosalind Lloyd is also very good as the Nurse, who is in fact (SPOILER!!!!) a projection of the dying queen Xanxia, who has the Pirate Captain under her control.

And Rosalind has some good scenes as well but I will only mention the one where she tells the Doctor about her calculations to destroy other planets and use their resources to maintain her own life, so she can be immortal.  So, the Nurse arrogantly asks the Doctor "What do you know of eternal life?!" and the Doctor says "Enough to know it can't be sustained by those time dams back there".  But the nurse defiantly says "When this body becomes fully corporeal..." and the Doctor tells her "It never will.  Not ever!" and she says to him "My calculations..." and the Doctor continues "...are wrong!" and the Nurse, surprised says "Impossible!" and the Doctor says "Inevitable, because they are based on a false premise".

And the Nurse continues to tell the Doctor " I gutted my own planet Zanak for all the energy it contained. I've ransacked planets from Bandraginus to Calufrax. Do you think I'm going to stop now?!".  And the Doctor warns her "What next, suns? It's no good. The energy needs of the time dams increase exponentially. There just isn't enough energy in the universe to keep them going for ever. In the end, you'll die".  And the nurse angrily says to him "You're lying, just to save your worthless neck!".

As for the remaining supporting cast members (for which I will not quote any dialogue to save on time!) Andrew Robertson is good in his role as Mr Fibuli, the Captain's rather scrawny and anxious second in commmand.  David Warwick is also good as the local, Kimus, who helps the Doctor and Romana to fight against the Captain.  David Sibley also does well in his role as Pralix, who is taken over and becomes one of the Mentiads, who are assumed to bad guys at first (but really aren't!).  And lastly Primi Townsend does OK in her role as the female Zanak local, Mula, although she isn't given much to do (but she does look pretty).

DIRECTOR AND MUSIC

As for the direction, Pennant Roberts, who had previously directed some stories in the show and would go on to direct some in the future, does a fine job here with this story and his pacing of the story is well handled, despite the odd lag here and there.  Roberts also later directed the unfinished Tom Baker story, "Shada" which was as a result of a strike at the BBC at the time and he also would direct several episodes of the sci-fi series, Blake's 7.

And lastly we have the music score, which was composed by the series then regular composer, Dudley Simpson, who fires out another solid effort here, even if it sounds pretty familiar to alot of his previous scores in that era of the show.  Still Dudley knew how to score for the show better than anyone and he always provides something worth a listen.

FLAWS (Warning: again some spoilers maybe mentioned here!)

As flaws....yes, The Pirate Planet has some.

And for starters I would have to say one of the issues with the story is that its plot, even though its clever, it is also quite complex and difficult to follow at times.  And Douglas Adams writing here is largely great but you feel at the same time his plot is very ambitious and is filled with alot of techno-babble that is either factitious gobbledegook, or part fact (although I could honestly not tell you what is what!).

Another issue to do with the supporting characters, such as Kimus, Pralix and Mula as they are largely uninteresting, even though the actors do well enough with their roles, they do feel somewhat underwritten and play somewhat second fiddle to the Doctor, Romana, the Captain and the Nurse for that matter.

SPOILER WARNING AGAIN HERE: THIS PARAGRAPH REFERS TO THE END OF THE STORY!!!


I also felt that the stories ending could have been handled a bit better as the Doctor and Romana leave Zanak without us even seeing them eventually pick up the second segment of the Key of Time.  Instead we get the Doctor setting explosives to blow up the Captain's bridge and letting the Mentiads press the detonator.  Its a pretty disappointing ending in this respect and I think it would have been better served seeing the Doctor and Romana actually retrieve the second segment instead.

Anyway that's it for the flaws.

SUM UP

So in summing it up, The Pirate Planet is a very enjoyable story from a decidedly mixed era of the show during Graham William's time as producer, but here we get a story that is both imaginitive and fun.  And yes OK there are some flaws of course, including weak supporting characters and an at times overly complex plot that can be difficult to follow. 

However if you put all this aside then you still have an entertaining story that is still well worth a look and it showed again just how ingenious Douglas Adams writing really was and its shame he is no longer with us.

Right, so that's it for now and I will return here again sometime soon with yet another review of some kind or other.

So, till the next un, its bye fer now!

            

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