Rrrrrright OK so I will continue and conclude my countdown of the top 30 Helmet songs and here I will cover songs 15 down to No.1. So without further ados let's move on....
15. Make room
This is a great little song off Helmet's debut album, Strap it on, which is the penultimate track off the album and its essentially what you could call swing metal, as its played in 3/4 time signature and even though its an early track from the band it is actually very catchy. The song begins with its cool swing style riff and then bursts into a crunching metal section before it goes back to the riff again for the verse and Page sings in his typical passive vocal of the time "Embrace the motivation goes, passed off as unintentional. One look showed you had to think, eat this and say it doesn't reek" and then he barks "RIGHT!!" as it goes into the aggressive metal part again before going into the second verse. And then it goes into the bridge section with Page singing "Taste of the mouth, voice of the cause, make room you come with open arms" after this it builds up into an almighty impressive crescendo and it ends on a very dramatic and crunch metal ending. Make room is easily one of the best early Helmet tracks and for me it deserves to be this far up the list at 15.
14. Rollo
Next we have Rollo, which is a top track off Betty and again it displays Helmet's penchant for unusual riffs that just rock the hell out of you and its a track I've always liked from the first time I heard it. It also has a great intro with John Stanier's snare drum kicking things off followed by one of Helmet's best guitar riffs and throughout there is some great drumming by John. Page's vocals are really good as well as they are flangered, which gives them an unusual feel and his lyrics are pretty good as well as he starts "Sorry for myself, I've lost my Kharmic wealth but I can take from you with antiseptic stealth. I'll dig my own grave, get my front yard paved, there's always a penny earned, another dollar saved!". It then leads into a very cool bridge section which features Henry Bogdan's bass playing and followed by some crunchy guitar work, which soon rises up into another crescendo and the song ends with Page's almost indecipherable vocals and on a rather sudden C5 chord which rings out to end a terrific track.
13. Street crab
And next why not put the immediate song right after Rollo on Betty, which is Street crab and its safe to say this really is a great Helmet song. The way the song starts off is excellent as the guitar quietly plays the opening notes and then slowly the volume builds and swells and it goes into the songs main riff and Page sings "First I'll panic quick and listen to advice. Agree to anything and try to be too nice, then my skin flakes, another allergy. I'm not making sense, just ignore me". After this we get the chorus lyrics "Thirst I had at last, run the water. Shut my mouth and run past, what's the matter? Street crabs buy in fast, infect the water". And prior to the end of the song it has a really strong section with the guitars and Page participating in some yelling in the background and yet again its a song that excels in building and swelling its sound up towards its conclusion as the song ends a strong note, which echoes out as it ends. In short Street crab is a great one to listen to off Betty and its still one of their best.
12. Diet aftertaste
Up next at 12 off the Aftertaste album is Diet aftertaste, which is another excellent track from one of the band's most underrated albums. Diet aftertaste is quite a jarring piece of music, especially the way it starts in a staccato style (i.e. stopping and starting the music, to leave a dramatic pause) but again it really grabs you as the song get's going. Page then sings in his more aggressive vocal style as he does on most of Aftertaste and again he sounds pretty bitter here "You're everything you want to be. Accomplished, gracious and good company, it makes perfect sense you're never hated. But then, appearances are overrated". And after the second verse the song goes into its rockin chorus and Page sings "I'd send that brain you ration, to feed the smallest starving nation! But diet aftertaste is rude and I can't digest a single word!". After this part the song goes in its cool bridge, which features an excellent somewhat slightly staccato-eseque riff, which carries on until it goes back into the chorus and the song soon ends on a great F#5 chord as the top string notes ring out and song carries directly on into the next one (which is Harmless and isn't on the list!). So Diet aftertaste adds up to a blistering track and one of the very best from the album that saw the original line-up regrettably come to an end.
11. Pure
The opening song from Aftertaste is at No.11, Pure, which no doubt is a great track and it sets up the intensity of the album so well and makes for an excellent opener. The intro of the song is also very good as the guitars slowly come in quietly and raise in volume and then begins the songs riff followed by the drums and Page's aggressive vocals. Page's vocals on Aftertaste are generally are far more aggressive sounding and he starts off the song "Affected by what you had lost, they're not the habits at any cost! Blur the details of your hand, anything your barren conscience can't defend!". Then after the remaining verses we get the chorus as Page sings "Because you can't be pure! You're self assured!" which leads into the song's great bridge section and after this then song builds up as Page let's out a loud squeal "YEAHHHHHH!!!!!!" and the song reaches another crescendo (as alot of their songs do!) and it ends on a soaring D5 chord as it leads into the next song (Renovation, which I've already covered). So to sum up Pure is one of the band's most powerful songs and its intensity will blow you away when you first hear it and to this day its one of their best.
10. FBLA
OK those of you who aren't too familiar with Strap it on, Helmet's debut album, shame on you, as it really is great piece of work as well as a rather unique and innovative one as well. And well FBLA II had to come from somewhere, well it came from this track right here at No.10, FBLA and one thing you need to know about FBLA is this: it rocks. Right from the start the song is a blistering assault on the senses as the guitars and drums both play frenetically and then it halts with a great piece of staccato before starting up again and stops again followed by a loud yell from Page. And then Page starts yelling out his vocals "SYMPATHETIC!!! The angry and young! Fellowship did stress virile and so well hung!!" which is followed by the song's opening chord. Then back into the second verse as Page yells some more "Down and right! Did it wrong! Self obssessed! Time to kill you're SO DEPRESSED!!!!". After this.... well the song just completely rock outs with Page playing a frantic guitar solo, followed by a wall of distortion and then the last 20 seconds or so of the song is one of the best pieces of rock you will ever hear as it alternates between two power chords, its so simple but it just rocks through and through and remains one of my very favourite segments of any Helmet song. In short FBLA is a frantic, breakneck song, which alot of people might dismiss out of hand or even some fans of the band as just a very loud din, but I think its much more than that, its one of their very best tracks and so its here right at No. 10.
9. So Long
Right OK time for a newer Helmet track right at No.9 is So Long, which is from their latest album Seeing eye dog and its opening track and its a great opener at that. The song itself is very catchy too and I love the opening riff the way it kicks in and the ringing guitar note that plays through the verses of the song. Page also puts in a good vocal performance here as well and he starts off "Just kicked all my vices, in time for her next crises, shit's crashing around us, no use pretending we trust. She's better, no wonder every day get's longer, you push, I shove, just like we were in love!". And then it goes to its also catchy chorus "Take all, take all my money! Get lost, so long now honey!" and later followed by a fine solo from Page which leads the song into a brief interlude where the guitars switch to clean sound and Page sings softly "Its no better, its no better now". And then it heads back into the verse with Page bitterly singing "It's no better, no wonder, this fucking life get's longer! You push, I shove, just like we were in love!". And the song continues with its chorus before it ends and to sum up So Long is a great way to open any album and it remains one of the new Helmet's best tracks.
8. Unsung
OK so at No.8 is Helmet's most well known song, Unsung, which had to be placed somewhere in the top 10, but out of all their songs I wouldn't quite put it right at the top of the list as there are songs better than it. But Unsung unlike some other band's best known songs is still a real belter and it gets off to a great start as John's drums kick it off and Henry Bogdan's bass comes in followed by the guitars. And Unsung get's going into its verse with the song's main riff and Page's passively styled vocals "You're contribution left unnoticed some association with an image. Just credit time showing up again, attention wandered I'm left with it". And the second verse "to die unsung would really bring you down, althought wet eyes would never suit you. Walk through no archetypal suicide, die young is far too boring these days". And then it goes to the last chorus "Unsung once too often, could not rub off". The song then goes into its bridge which is typically pretty heavy and metal-esque and the song goes on its last hurdle before it finishes up. So while Unsung overall isn't their best song it is still one of the best and the most commercial song they wrote and it was after all the song that introduced me to them so that alone is worth putting it on here.
7. Crashing foreign cars
OK this is probably the last of the newer Helmet tracks but it is arguably (maybe!) the best one which is off Size Matters, Crashing foreign cars, which instantly grabs you by the throat and puts you right in the driving seat (so to speak) right from the offset with its high octane pace (sorry about all those car puns!). The song kicks off very well also with a drum roll then Page's angry lyrics "There's another sucker born every minute Lord! Take her out and pay for a good time, you never know what you can afford! Another wreck and time to collect more souveniers. Gone another million miles, no worse for the wear!". And then it launches into its great chorus (and possibly the most melodic chorus of any Helmet song!) with Page singing "And there's a sucker born, every other minute Lord! He deserves you more, you know I'll only crash this car!". And after the second verse and chorus again the song goes into its bridge section which has a cool and simple riff which leads back into verse and the song ends with a rat-tat-tat snare. At just 2 minutes and 30 seconds, Crashing foreign cars has just about it all (except maybe a proper solo!) great rockin riff, good vocals, killer chorus and a great end, and that's why its in the top 10 at No.7.
6. Turned out
Right at No.6 we have another belter of a song off Meantime, Turned out, which starts off great with a crunchy riff that kicks in and again it has one of the band's best staccato riffs that runs through the first half of the song. Page's bitey vocals are very effective on this track as well and the lyrics are great starting with "Come off crisp and play up to the cynic, cleaned and school right down to the minute! You need to hear that your life is rough, speaking out and cold that you've had enough!". Then this is followed by one of Page's best lyrics "You know how to live and your heart's gone "bi"! Substance rush giving art a try! Your righteous squat has been burned to the ground, pass the back, never utter a sound!". And then there is the pre-chorus build up "Hard times, hard times, downtown Julie Brown!". And then comes in the killer chorus with its terrific crunching riff and Page barks out "You turned out! Wasted time! Need escape me, missed it right?!". And this takes the song into its bridge, which features a great instrumental section with the bass playing then the guitars come chugging in and the drums followed by Page's great solo, then there is short pause, and the song kicks in again and Page songs pre-chorus line again even harder "HARD TIMES! HARD TIMES! Downtown Julie Brown! HARD TIMES! HARD TIMES! DOWNTOWN JULIE!!!". Then back to the chorus and after that the song finishes leaving the listener stunned at one of the band's best songs.
5. In the meantime
Now we get to the opening track of Meantime, which is this one and In the meantime has to rank as one of the most intense and heaviest pieces of rock music ever recorded. The song starts off with a chaotic frenzy of distorted guitars and drum rolls and then it plays the jarring drop D tuned power chord followed by Stanier intense and heavy drums and then we get one of the heaviest riffs Helmet have come up with. And after the incredible start we then get to Page's vocals which are actually quite chilling and it ranks as one of his best vocal performances as he barks out the opening lines "Earth tone suits you, so give it a smile! If I could hold your feet down, get to know for a while! To make due is a promise, hard to keep without help! Never taught to look in, I'm too concerned with my health!!". And after the third verse the song get's to its most thrilling and chilling moment where Page screeches "HOLD IT!!!!!!!!!!" and then there is the chorus "In the meantime!" and the song continues on crunching its heavy riff as the song builds to its noisy crescendo. In the meantime remains one of the band's most intense and unforgettable songs, which has been covered by various bands since (one such band is Soulfly, the spin-off band from Sepultura) and it is more than deserving to be in the top 5.
4. Ironhead
Now we get to my last song from Meantime which is Ironhead, right at No.4, Ironhead is another brilliant track, with its half-throttle pace and yet another one of the band's best ever riffs. And Page barks out more aggressive vocals as he starts "Safe to kill! It all comes back or stick it out and wage my own attack! Lift me up through what I've found. Bite my lip, how far down is down?!". And then the song get's to its chorus riff and Page continues his next verse "Time to take what I know, keep it in and live here all alone. What's the worst better or dead, wear it out the pain is in my head!". The song then has a very cool mid section which leads into a frantic guitar solo from Page and the song continues to gather pace and before Page starts singing (or yelling!) "Ironhead!!!" which leads into the chorus riff again and winds down very impressively before its final chord. So Ironhead is here right at No.4 and it is still flat out one of the band's best.
3. Wilma's Rainbow
OK finally I've finished with Meantime, now get back to Betty and at No.3 is Wilma's Rainbow, which is one of the real highlights from that album. And right from the start Wilma's Rainbow has a great intro with the guitar harmonics starting things off right before the song's main riff kicks in, which is as heavy as anything that Helmet recorded. And yet again the band make great use of little moments of staccato throughout the song as Page begins vocalising "You heard about, be your own man. You talk alot and loud. Illustrate the obvious boy, you're mentally endowed". And getting to the chorus Page continues "Watershed year comes, flushed with fever. The richest junk dealer" after this the next verse and the song stops briefly for a pause and it carries with Page singing the title "Wilma's rainbow of peaceful colours, the richest junk dealer". And from this point on the song goes nuts and there is another insane guitar solo as the song gathers pace and get's faster and faster it then stops, and restarts with another one of the very best moments in any Helmet song as the guitars reiterate the main riff and the whole song ends on a jarring D5 chord with John Stanier's drums crashing through like a sledgehammer to the back of someone's skull (listen to it and you get what I mean!). In short Wilma's Rainbow is an absolute Helmet classic and without a doubt should be very near the top of the list.
2. I Know
Another Betty track right at No.2 is I Know, what to say about it.... well I think its one of the band's most incredible tracks and it features some amazing drum work from John and the guitar work is also great. The opening of the song is one of their very best, if not the best, as John's heavy drums kick in and he plays a very tricky drum track (which no doubt to him is effortless!) and it is joined by the guitars and one of their riffs which can almost be said to be very atmospheric. And just before the song rears up for its first verse we get an unsual bit of feedback and harmonics from the guitars just before the first verse kicks in along with its awesome guitar line and Page's intense vocals "Wafer thing! The waif is in! She's chlorine clean and portion fed! Feed the dog, slap the hog! Shine the baptist and debark the log!" and then its the chorus "IT'S OK! I KNOW! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SHOW US AT ALL!!". Then the second verse follows, which features one of my favourite lines "So intense, so insensitive! In your head where fashion lives!". Afterward the song has its terrific interlude which has another great windy riff played over and over along with some crazy guitar noise, the song finishes up with Page's manic vocals "IT'S OK, I KNOW! You're mean and hard and bored! IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING!!" and finally the song ends with its winding riff again to finish off one of the band's truly great songs.
1. Blacktop
OK so now we get to the best Helmet song, or at least the best one as I see it in my humble opinion, which is off their first album Strap it on: Blacktop. Blacktop in short is just an amazing track and its not like it is one of their most technical songs as it is fairly simple in comparison to some of their songs. But the riff is just an absolute beast and the start of the song is perfect as the E5 chord chugs away quietly then the drums bring the song to life. The lyrics in the song are terrific as well and typically rather ambiguous and Page's vocals are more shouty than anything and he starts off "You're self control might be a muscle spasm! New direction isn't everlasting though. Grope for straws you've got to plan this week. Then the crutch dissolves when she walks too sweet!". Then this is followed by what is the chorus riff and again it just plain rocks and if you are a fan of theirs and it doesn't want to make you play guitar, then I don't know what will! The second verse however features perhaps my favourite Helmet lyrics "Ration of blacktop on the slope of nowhere, came out to greet the unresponsive stare. Turn green with envy over something you missed" and their best line of all "You didn't know what when you fell down in it!". The song's chorus with lyrics just works perfectly as Page yells "walk on top, you run beneat, the blacktop spreads!" and then we get the solo and after the song builds up to its final run at the chorus riff and that's where the song peaks as it get's louder and louder and Page yells out the chorus line again, which sees the song come to an end. And for me Blacktop is Helmet's best song and I think you will be hard pushed (or just about) to find a better, it also is one of their most enjoyable songs to play on the guitar as well and for me it sits right at the No.1 spot.
And that's it for my look at the top 30 Helmet songs as I see them, hope if you read this and like their music you might agree (although I'm not sure I will get many view for these posts as Helmet aren't the most mainstream of bands!). I may revisit this list and change one or two but for the most part thats' my favs.
And with that I shall say goodnight!
Wednesday 29 October 2014
Tuesday 28 October 2014
Top 30 Helmet songs Part 1: songs 30-16
Right this is another undertaking which I have taken upon myself which may leave me infuriated and tearing my hair for making the right choices but I thought I would do a list of what I think are the best Helmet songs. You may say.... who the hell are they???? Well Helmet are one of my favourite bands and they just so happen to actually be playing this week at the Cathouse in Glasgow but I personally don't have a ticket (alas!).
Anyways Helmet were founded back in the late 80's by a jazz musician named Page Hamilton and with the band he created a unique blend of hardcore rock, metal and jazz-ed themes which added up to some amazing music. The line up of the band has changed over the years but the original line up was always considered the best with Page on lead guitar and vocals, Henry Bogdan on the bass and John Stanier on the drums and they had several rhythm guitarists along the way. Together these guys created some incredible stuff which was filled with off-kilter riffs, staccato tempos, jazz influenced chords and above all just some great music. They aren't to everyone's taste but Helmet are unique heavy rock band which are well worth checking out if you are into rock, metal or whatever.
So I have yapped on enough about that so let's have a look at my countdown of the best Helmet songs and I will start with the first half from 30 down to 16....
30. Repetition
OK I thought I would kick off with the first song on Helmet's debut album, Repetition, which is an incredible track which pulls you right in with its unusual time signature, fuzzy sounding guitar and John Stanier's off-beat drumming. The song burst into life and then maintains its strange staccato rhythm throughout with Page's stark loud vocal yelling out "Sit there so pathetic! Admire myself, pass offers of great sex! No threat the evil goes!". The song also has a typically wild guitar solo from Page in the mid-section before it carries on and explodes into the main riff again before it ends on a raw note. This is your intro to Helmet, and if its the first track you ever heard, its a good one (but then again other people might think its just a hideous cacophony of noise, which it is, but its still rocks).
29. Its easy to get bored
This is quite a catchy song off Helmet's Aftertaste album, which was the last album they made with the original line up before the split. Its easy to get bored is pretty repetitive in its main riff as it runs throughout the song but its actually pretty good and Page's passive vocals kick in over it well "If I'm half informed, sympathise cos its easy to get bored. I don't have time to waste, I'm too busy cultivating useless good taste" as the song goes into its verse and it builds up as Page's lyrics become more obscure and he sings "I'll spread some more good news, invented facts that you know you can use, sell them door to door with religious fervour that no one can ignore". And then it get's into the songs bridge which is really catchy before it leads into the final chorus of "Its so easy to get bored" which runs over and over again as the song ends. Its not one of their very best but its still a very good little track well worth placing on here.
28. Tic
Tic from Helmet's acclaimed album, Betty, is an unusual song, which in itself is actually nothing too unusual when you come to think of it with Helmet but its a song which still grabs you with its slow and compelling style. Page puts in a more shouty vocal this time as he shouts the opening lines "Tic begins, where's the manner end?! The climate change will never get in, silent and strong and prepossessed! You never need to make your own mess!" just before it moves into its great chorus which features one of the most bizarre guitar chords you will hear in any song accompanied by Bogdan's great winding bass line. The song also has a bridge that sounds strangely akin to "Give it" from Helmet's Meantime album and the song itself ends great with the heavy crunching D5 chord and a few noises thrown in that make it sound like a track from Metallica's Master of Puppets album. Tic adds up to one of Helmet's more unusual and experimental rock-metal tracks and for that I thought it deserves a place on here.
27. Throwing punches
At 27 is a track from Helmet mark 2.0 as this was the new Helmet, which saw only the return of Page Hamilton along with some new band members, although the band's touring guitarist Chris Traynor from the Aftertaste tour makes an appearance on this album playing bass along with The Cult's drummer, John Tempesta and they recorded Size Matters, which this track is on. Throwing punches isn't the best track on Size Matters but it certainly saw Page try to capture a more tuneful sound than he had before with Helmet and here he makes a pretty good stab it. Lyrically he has fun with the idea of a girl throwing punches rather than a guy as he alludes to in the lyrics "Darlin was a hit! She started throwing punches! She connects, she never get's what she wants, and she wants" and then "She's unhinged, swears now that was then, just a little glitch! Patch it up again!". And it leads into one of the best choruses the band have created with Page singing "So far I don't understand this! There's no misunderstanding, there's nothing here to get! She wants more than my attention, she's not above invention and I don't really care!". The song then leads nicely into its bridge section with Page singing "you don't know what you want or how far you'll fall when you're unhinged! Coming back for more, I was only horny". And after that the chorus which ends the song on a good note and leaves you with a fine song that is worth putting on the list.
26. Birth defect
At 26 is this song, Birth Defect, which is a straight out aggressive heavy crunching song with an attacking riff which grabs you by the scruff of the neck. This song is on Aftertaste, which is easily perhaps their most underappreciated album of the original line up of the band, but its another fine example of just how much Helmet can rock out hard. This song also features a pretty good vocal performance from Page, who is by no means a great singer but he uses his voice well and here he barks out the lyrics from the start "All the good that you discover in people that you hate! Draw them close and pencil thin so they are easy to erase!". Then this is followed by perhaps one of my favourite Helmet lyrics "You've got it down just feed them lines and watch them starve to death! Keep them crowded and short of air then you can take their last breath!". Admittedly the chorus line is a bit naff with Page half-singing "I'd rather be insulted by you than someone I respect. If I don't share the same view, its just my birth defect!" but its let off the hook by the song's driving riff and it leads into a great interlude before it heads back into the chorus and then finishes on a jazzed power chord, which sees Birth defect sitting well on the list as its both crunchy, heavy and appealing as a song.
25. On your way down
Sitting at 25 is On your way down, which is on Monochrome (which could well win the award for naffest album cover!) and is another great little track that has a very nifty winding riff then moves up and down to suit the song. Page's vocals are quite good here as he sings a bit softer and more tunefully and again it appears he is having a go at successful people who make it to the top as they look down on everyone else. And this is reflected in his lyrics where he sings "You have worked your way up to the top! Thought that you would make the whole word stop. Up to Venus, Mars and Jupiter, bet your feet don't even touch the Earth". And it goes into its chorus where "on your way, on your way down" the guitar power chords move up and up and then they go down and down. Then the song goes into its bridge with Page singing "are you lying to yourself? There is no right or wrong, no heaven or hell. Now you're losing all your friends to surround yourself with all those dull "yes" men". After this we get a cool solo from Page and then song soon ends on its chorus again as it slows down at the last moment nicely and overall On your way down is another fine track from the new Helmet.
24. Vaccination
I'm wondering if this song from Betty should be further up the list because its such a good track but given they have done so many good ones I thought Vaccination should sit around about here at 24. The song itself is another pretty unusual one and the riff is in a funny time signature which is pretty cool and it features what I can only call Page's "neutral" singing style for the verse and he yells on the chorus. Page starts off "Petty news, its only your bad ear, it might be worth it, to watch what you hear. Feeling great now you expand your view, you can't forget somebody hates you". And then it goes into its very cool and heavy pre-chorus riff, followed by the chorus and pretty cool bridge section and then the song finishes as Page starts to yell "Humble groans! Bad nutrition! Rely on me, there's one condition! Imitated, so adored! The wind picks up, my suit get's torn!". Then the song finally ends on a mental freakout as Page yells and the guitars and drums go wild and it suddenly stops. Admittedly the ending of the soon is a bit untidy and I was never keen on Page's yells right at the end as they do sound a bit lame, but that aside Vaccination is mighty good track.
23. Renovation
So at 23 we have Renovation which for me is perhaps Helmet's most upbeat and catchiest song ever written, even though its not a top 10 song in my opinion its still more than good enough to warrant being here. The song itself from Aftertaste kicks off with the riff from Bogdan on the bass and then the drums kick in and then the guitar as Page sings "When its time to leave this place, I'll follow what comes easy, elude the human race, discover what still feeds me". The chorus is also very good and probably comes to as close to a Beatles or Foo Fighters-esque chorus as you will get from Helmet as Page sings "And I know I might be wrong, but I'm sick of pretending, I've listened to you too long and nothing's ever mended". The song lacks a proper jazzed solo from Page, in fact Aftertaste itself is pretty devoid of any typical Page guitar solos, which perhaps hinders the songs a little, as I think Page on Aftertaste was trying to go for more tuneful songs than musical experimentation. Regardless of that though Renovation is still an excellent Helmet track and it ends on a good note as Page sings the line "and nothing's ever mended" as it fades out.
22. Biscuits for Smut
At 22 we have Biscuits for Smut, another track from the Betty album (always liked the cover of the album with the pretty girl holding a basket of flowers, which totally contrasts the style of the album itself) Smut was in fact I believe Page's dog at the time. BFS is one of the band's more experimental tracks as it employs a funny drop A tuning on the guitar as the bottom string tuned wayyyyy down and it lends a pretty heavy feel to the song, but its also quite a funky track as well. Page's vocals are for once flangered and he starts off "Served up in the backyard, cooked too long on high, flying out the window, even dogs have passed them by. Didn't know she was tied up, better fed than forced, time to meet the protagonist, boy he never showed remorse". The song is also on here because it has one of the best bridge sections of any Helmet song as the riff takes a funky turn and John Stanier provides some of his very best drum fills, which are so creative and original in themselves. The song soon ends with Page singing "Come on smut, you might have stayed" and the guitar makes its last twang as the A note is bended on the detuned E string to end one of Helmet's most unique songs.
21. LA Water
One of the newer Helmet songs at 21 is LA Water, which features on their most recent album, Seeing eye dog. LA Water is another more experimental sounding track which features a really cool atmospheric guitar track which runs throughout the song. The song's lyrics probably aren't among the band's best but it does feature a pretty good vocal from Page as he begins singing "In LA sun shines all the time you know you might get burned. I haven't found now for a while the weather here is always warm". The lyrics do improve in the next verse though as Page continues "And in the end the sun never rains, I'm not the only one evaporated in the heat, I don't need oxygen no need". And the chorus line is "And if you notice what you are, you know how to get it, you know you will get it". The song then features a bridge that is accompanied by an orchestra, which strangely really adds to the track very well and it succeeds in expanding the band's sound and the track soon ends with Page humming along with the orchestra and the guitars echo in the background. Overall LA Water is easily one of the new Helmet's best tracks which again is faily unique and was a welcome breath of fresh of air from their usual yet effective formula.
20. Give it
Off the Meantime album, at 20 is Give it which for me overall isn't one of the very best songs of Meantime, but given how good an album Meantime is that's actually not really meant as an insult its just there are other songs that are even better. Anyway Give it is still an excellent track which starts off great with Bogdan's windy bass riff and then the guitars kick in along with Stanier's snare drum and the song itself has a strange swing tempo feel to it but that's what makes it work. Page's passive vocals then come in "Killing hurts, has to be done, peace and love and who's number one. The right to give, learn to be bleed its free, pain is outside, lift it up to see" and then it goes into what is really the song's chorus even though it actually lacks a proper one with Page singing "confidence" and then we get the riff rising up really well. This eventually actually leads into the guitar solo and then the riff carries on rising until the end where it builds into a noisy crescendo, which all adds up to a very satisfying song which sits nicely on the list.
19. Everybody loves you
Next is Everybody loves you which features on Size Matters and its a pretty bitter sounding track from Page but its a great one aswell and it features a great riff which involves bending the strings to create an interesting effect. Page's vocals are also pretty good here and his lyrics are as well as he starts off "It all went out the window in a breeze outside. You got so far when you realised everything looked promising, now you're uninspired, you're giving up what you want just to be admired". And the chorus is great as it features Page's bitter lyrics "And everybody loves you, everybody loves you, you're adored" and the song also has a good bridge section where it quietens before it goes back into its aggressive riff and Page finishes the song by singing venomously "Everybody loves you, everybody loves a shameless liar!" and again the song builds itself up to a climax and ends on a single note. Everybody loves you is definitely one of the best songs on Size Matters and its also one of Helmet's most tuneful songs as at times Page's success in moving the band toward being a more direct songwriting group didn't always pay off but here it does with this fine track.
18. Clean
Ahhh Clean, great song from Betty, Clean is deceptively simple sounding song with its guitar riff but underneath its also quite complex structurally, particularly John Stanier's amazing drumming, which must be really difficult for any drummer to pull off and its just testament to what a great dummer he is. The song itself is only about two and a half minutes long but its still a standout track (or else I wouldn't have bothered putting it on here!). The song starts off great with the guitars and Stanier's very complex drum track and Page's passive sounding vocal coming in "Spread your mind the fish feed, don't ignore my speech my heart bleeds. Make yourself the passing butt, some passing thought I don't know what". And the chorus (or first chorus lyrics) where Page sings "don't remind me, I'll take what I need" and later "You're right behind me and mouth all I read" which leads into the bridge section then back to the chorus and it ends pretty quickly. Again Page's lyrics are pretty obscure but they work well enough even if you have no idea what he's on about here, but it doesn't matter so much when a track such as Clean is this good.
17. Insatiable
Another great song from Aftertaste, Insatiable slots in at 17 here and it has to be one of the most intense and heavy songs Helmet ever recorded. Its another song that is deceptively hard to play and get right given its riff and again it features some great drum work from John Stanier. Page's vocals are about as aggressive as they ever got here as he really spits out his words with real bile and he starts out "Its never easy being ignored! When you're worshipped and adored! Attention starved, inflatable, an ego that is insatiable!". And then it goes into the song's very intense chorus where Page's voice becomes on the verge of hysteria and he screeches "I need somebody to hate! I need someone that I can imitate! The attention that I crave, its self esteem I can almost save!!". And the song has a quiet and dark interlude where the guitars crunch in the background and then it builds up again into its ferocious chorus, which I have to say features one of the most tricky Helmet riffs to get right, which again highlights the neat details the band put in their music, which you need to listen closely to at times. So that's it with Insatiable firmly sitting at No.17 as its a great track full of intensity right from the start.
16. Enemies
This is another great track from Size Matters, which for ages I didn't really listen to but in recent times I had watched some live videos of Helmet play it and it quickly grew on me and it really is one of my favourites from the revived band. The song starts off well with its aggressive screeching guitars as it plays low Db5 power chord and then it goes all quiet and the guitars play quietly without distortion as Page almost whispers the songs first lyrics "You never rid the butterflies, the hate you feel, you can't disguise. It's animal, it's chemical, it's only human to hit so low". After this it bursts into its loud chorus with the distorted guitars coming back and Page sings "I know what you need, I can tell you lies" and its this part where the chorus works so great as the chords take an unusual turn and Page carries "We'll be enemies, so dissatisfied!". After this it goes into its second verse and then back into the chorus and it builds yet again towards it finish, making Enemies one of Helmet's most underrated tracks and very worth of being put on the list.
Rrrrrrrrrrrright so that's it for part 1 (which was fun, a bit more so than the Smashing Pumpkins one but I don't know how many views this post will get given quite a few of you might go "Who the hell are these guys???") and I will soon get on to part 2.
See you soon!
Anyways Helmet were founded back in the late 80's by a jazz musician named Page Hamilton and with the band he created a unique blend of hardcore rock, metal and jazz-ed themes which added up to some amazing music. The line up of the band has changed over the years but the original line up was always considered the best with Page on lead guitar and vocals, Henry Bogdan on the bass and John Stanier on the drums and they had several rhythm guitarists along the way. Together these guys created some incredible stuff which was filled with off-kilter riffs, staccato tempos, jazz influenced chords and above all just some great music. They aren't to everyone's taste but Helmet are unique heavy rock band which are well worth checking out if you are into rock, metal or whatever.
So I have yapped on enough about that so let's have a look at my countdown of the best Helmet songs and I will start with the first half from 30 down to 16....
30. Repetition
OK I thought I would kick off with the first song on Helmet's debut album, Repetition, which is an incredible track which pulls you right in with its unusual time signature, fuzzy sounding guitar and John Stanier's off-beat drumming. The song burst into life and then maintains its strange staccato rhythm throughout with Page's stark loud vocal yelling out "Sit there so pathetic! Admire myself, pass offers of great sex! No threat the evil goes!". The song also has a typically wild guitar solo from Page in the mid-section before it carries on and explodes into the main riff again before it ends on a raw note. This is your intro to Helmet, and if its the first track you ever heard, its a good one (but then again other people might think its just a hideous cacophony of noise, which it is, but its still rocks).
29. Its easy to get bored
This is quite a catchy song off Helmet's Aftertaste album, which was the last album they made with the original line up before the split. Its easy to get bored is pretty repetitive in its main riff as it runs throughout the song but its actually pretty good and Page's passive vocals kick in over it well "If I'm half informed, sympathise cos its easy to get bored. I don't have time to waste, I'm too busy cultivating useless good taste" as the song goes into its verse and it builds up as Page's lyrics become more obscure and he sings "I'll spread some more good news, invented facts that you know you can use, sell them door to door with religious fervour that no one can ignore". And then it get's into the songs bridge which is really catchy before it leads into the final chorus of "Its so easy to get bored" which runs over and over again as the song ends. Its not one of their very best but its still a very good little track well worth placing on here.
28. Tic
Tic from Helmet's acclaimed album, Betty, is an unusual song, which in itself is actually nothing too unusual when you come to think of it with Helmet but its a song which still grabs you with its slow and compelling style. Page puts in a more shouty vocal this time as he shouts the opening lines "Tic begins, where's the manner end?! The climate change will never get in, silent and strong and prepossessed! You never need to make your own mess!" just before it moves into its great chorus which features one of the most bizarre guitar chords you will hear in any song accompanied by Bogdan's great winding bass line. The song also has a bridge that sounds strangely akin to "Give it" from Helmet's Meantime album and the song itself ends great with the heavy crunching D5 chord and a few noises thrown in that make it sound like a track from Metallica's Master of Puppets album. Tic adds up to one of Helmet's more unusual and experimental rock-metal tracks and for that I thought it deserves a place on here.
27. Throwing punches
At 27 is a track from Helmet mark 2.0 as this was the new Helmet, which saw only the return of Page Hamilton along with some new band members, although the band's touring guitarist Chris Traynor from the Aftertaste tour makes an appearance on this album playing bass along with The Cult's drummer, John Tempesta and they recorded Size Matters, which this track is on. Throwing punches isn't the best track on Size Matters but it certainly saw Page try to capture a more tuneful sound than he had before with Helmet and here he makes a pretty good stab it. Lyrically he has fun with the idea of a girl throwing punches rather than a guy as he alludes to in the lyrics "Darlin was a hit! She started throwing punches! She connects, she never get's what she wants, and she wants" and then "She's unhinged, swears now that was then, just a little glitch! Patch it up again!". And it leads into one of the best choruses the band have created with Page singing "So far I don't understand this! There's no misunderstanding, there's nothing here to get! She wants more than my attention, she's not above invention and I don't really care!". The song then leads nicely into its bridge section with Page singing "you don't know what you want or how far you'll fall when you're unhinged! Coming back for more, I was only horny". And after that the chorus which ends the song on a good note and leaves you with a fine song that is worth putting on the list.
26. Birth defect
At 26 is this song, Birth Defect, which is a straight out aggressive heavy crunching song with an attacking riff which grabs you by the scruff of the neck. This song is on Aftertaste, which is easily perhaps their most underappreciated album of the original line up of the band, but its another fine example of just how much Helmet can rock out hard. This song also features a pretty good vocal performance from Page, who is by no means a great singer but he uses his voice well and here he barks out the lyrics from the start "All the good that you discover in people that you hate! Draw them close and pencil thin so they are easy to erase!". Then this is followed by perhaps one of my favourite Helmet lyrics "You've got it down just feed them lines and watch them starve to death! Keep them crowded and short of air then you can take their last breath!". Admittedly the chorus line is a bit naff with Page half-singing "I'd rather be insulted by you than someone I respect. If I don't share the same view, its just my birth defect!" but its let off the hook by the song's driving riff and it leads into a great interlude before it heads back into the chorus and then finishes on a jazzed power chord, which sees Birth defect sitting well on the list as its both crunchy, heavy and appealing as a song.
25. On your way down
Sitting at 25 is On your way down, which is on Monochrome (which could well win the award for naffest album cover!) and is another great little track that has a very nifty winding riff then moves up and down to suit the song. Page's vocals are quite good here as he sings a bit softer and more tunefully and again it appears he is having a go at successful people who make it to the top as they look down on everyone else. And this is reflected in his lyrics where he sings "You have worked your way up to the top! Thought that you would make the whole word stop. Up to Venus, Mars and Jupiter, bet your feet don't even touch the Earth". And it goes into its chorus where "on your way, on your way down" the guitar power chords move up and up and then they go down and down. Then the song goes into its bridge with Page singing "are you lying to yourself? There is no right or wrong, no heaven or hell. Now you're losing all your friends to surround yourself with all those dull "yes" men". After this we get a cool solo from Page and then song soon ends on its chorus again as it slows down at the last moment nicely and overall On your way down is another fine track from the new Helmet.
24. Vaccination
I'm wondering if this song from Betty should be further up the list because its such a good track but given they have done so many good ones I thought Vaccination should sit around about here at 24. The song itself is another pretty unusual one and the riff is in a funny time signature which is pretty cool and it features what I can only call Page's "neutral" singing style for the verse and he yells on the chorus. Page starts off "Petty news, its only your bad ear, it might be worth it, to watch what you hear. Feeling great now you expand your view, you can't forget somebody hates you". And then it goes into its very cool and heavy pre-chorus riff, followed by the chorus and pretty cool bridge section and then the song finishes as Page starts to yell "Humble groans! Bad nutrition! Rely on me, there's one condition! Imitated, so adored! The wind picks up, my suit get's torn!". Then the song finally ends on a mental freakout as Page yells and the guitars and drums go wild and it suddenly stops. Admittedly the ending of the soon is a bit untidy and I was never keen on Page's yells right at the end as they do sound a bit lame, but that aside Vaccination is mighty good track.
23. Renovation
So at 23 we have Renovation which for me is perhaps Helmet's most upbeat and catchiest song ever written, even though its not a top 10 song in my opinion its still more than good enough to warrant being here. The song itself from Aftertaste kicks off with the riff from Bogdan on the bass and then the drums kick in and then the guitar as Page sings "When its time to leave this place, I'll follow what comes easy, elude the human race, discover what still feeds me". The chorus is also very good and probably comes to as close to a Beatles or Foo Fighters-esque chorus as you will get from Helmet as Page sings "And I know I might be wrong, but I'm sick of pretending, I've listened to you too long and nothing's ever mended". The song lacks a proper jazzed solo from Page, in fact Aftertaste itself is pretty devoid of any typical Page guitar solos, which perhaps hinders the songs a little, as I think Page on Aftertaste was trying to go for more tuneful songs than musical experimentation. Regardless of that though Renovation is still an excellent Helmet track and it ends on a good note as Page sings the line "and nothing's ever mended" as it fades out.
22. Biscuits for Smut
At 22 we have Biscuits for Smut, another track from the Betty album (always liked the cover of the album with the pretty girl holding a basket of flowers, which totally contrasts the style of the album itself) Smut was in fact I believe Page's dog at the time. BFS is one of the band's more experimental tracks as it employs a funny drop A tuning on the guitar as the bottom string tuned wayyyyy down and it lends a pretty heavy feel to the song, but its also quite a funky track as well. Page's vocals are for once flangered and he starts off "Served up in the backyard, cooked too long on high, flying out the window, even dogs have passed them by. Didn't know she was tied up, better fed than forced, time to meet the protagonist, boy he never showed remorse". The song is also on here because it has one of the best bridge sections of any Helmet song as the riff takes a funky turn and John Stanier provides some of his very best drum fills, which are so creative and original in themselves. The song soon ends with Page singing "Come on smut, you might have stayed" and the guitar makes its last twang as the A note is bended on the detuned E string to end one of Helmet's most unique songs.
21. LA Water
One of the newer Helmet songs at 21 is LA Water, which features on their most recent album, Seeing eye dog. LA Water is another more experimental sounding track which features a really cool atmospheric guitar track which runs throughout the song. The song's lyrics probably aren't among the band's best but it does feature a pretty good vocal from Page as he begins singing "In LA sun shines all the time you know you might get burned. I haven't found now for a while the weather here is always warm". The lyrics do improve in the next verse though as Page continues "And in the end the sun never rains, I'm not the only one evaporated in the heat, I don't need oxygen no need". And the chorus line is "And if you notice what you are, you know how to get it, you know you will get it". The song then features a bridge that is accompanied by an orchestra, which strangely really adds to the track very well and it succeeds in expanding the band's sound and the track soon ends with Page humming along with the orchestra and the guitars echo in the background. Overall LA Water is easily one of the new Helmet's best tracks which again is faily unique and was a welcome breath of fresh of air from their usual yet effective formula.
20. Give it
Off the Meantime album, at 20 is Give it which for me overall isn't one of the very best songs of Meantime, but given how good an album Meantime is that's actually not really meant as an insult its just there are other songs that are even better. Anyway Give it is still an excellent track which starts off great with Bogdan's windy bass riff and then the guitars kick in along with Stanier's snare drum and the song itself has a strange swing tempo feel to it but that's what makes it work. Page's passive vocals then come in "Killing hurts, has to be done, peace and love and who's number one. The right to give, learn to be bleed its free, pain is outside, lift it up to see" and then it goes into what is really the song's chorus even though it actually lacks a proper one with Page singing "confidence" and then we get the riff rising up really well. This eventually actually leads into the guitar solo and then the riff carries on rising until the end where it builds into a noisy crescendo, which all adds up to a very satisfying song which sits nicely on the list.
19. Everybody loves you
Next is Everybody loves you which features on Size Matters and its a pretty bitter sounding track from Page but its a great one aswell and it features a great riff which involves bending the strings to create an interesting effect. Page's vocals are also pretty good here and his lyrics are as well as he starts off "It all went out the window in a breeze outside. You got so far when you realised everything looked promising, now you're uninspired, you're giving up what you want just to be admired". And the chorus is great as it features Page's bitter lyrics "And everybody loves you, everybody loves you, you're adored" and the song also has a good bridge section where it quietens before it goes back into its aggressive riff and Page finishes the song by singing venomously "Everybody loves you, everybody loves a shameless liar!" and again the song builds itself up to a climax and ends on a single note. Everybody loves you is definitely one of the best songs on Size Matters and its also one of Helmet's most tuneful songs as at times Page's success in moving the band toward being a more direct songwriting group didn't always pay off but here it does with this fine track.
18. Clean
Ahhh Clean, great song from Betty, Clean is deceptively simple sounding song with its guitar riff but underneath its also quite complex structurally, particularly John Stanier's amazing drumming, which must be really difficult for any drummer to pull off and its just testament to what a great dummer he is. The song itself is only about two and a half minutes long but its still a standout track (or else I wouldn't have bothered putting it on here!). The song starts off great with the guitars and Stanier's very complex drum track and Page's passive sounding vocal coming in "Spread your mind the fish feed, don't ignore my speech my heart bleeds. Make yourself the passing butt, some passing thought I don't know what". And the chorus (or first chorus lyrics) where Page sings "don't remind me, I'll take what I need" and later "You're right behind me and mouth all I read" which leads into the bridge section then back to the chorus and it ends pretty quickly. Again Page's lyrics are pretty obscure but they work well enough even if you have no idea what he's on about here, but it doesn't matter so much when a track such as Clean is this good.
17. Insatiable
Another great song from Aftertaste, Insatiable slots in at 17 here and it has to be one of the most intense and heavy songs Helmet ever recorded. Its another song that is deceptively hard to play and get right given its riff and again it features some great drum work from John Stanier. Page's vocals are about as aggressive as they ever got here as he really spits out his words with real bile and he starts out "Its never easy being ignored! When you're worshipped and adored! Attention starved, inflatable, an ego that is insatiable!". And then it goes into the song's very intense chorus where Page's voice becomes on the verge of hysteria and he screeches "I need somebody to hate! I need someone that I can imitate! The attention that I crave, its self esteem I can almost save!!". And the song has a quiet and dark interlude where the guitars crunch in the background and then it builds up again into its ferocious chorus, which I have to say features one of the most tricky Helmet riffs to get right, which again highlights the neat details the band put in their music, which you need to listen closely to at times. So that's it with Insatiable firmly sitting at No.17 as its a great track full of intensity right from the start.
16. Enemies
This is another great track from Size Matters, which for ages I didn't really listen to but in recent times I had watched some live videos of Helmet play it and it quickly grew on me and it really is one of my favourites from the revived band. The song starts off well with its aggressive screeching guitars as it plays low Db5 power chord and then it goes all quiet and the guitars play quietly without distortion as Page almost whispers the songs first lyrics "You never rid the butterflies, the hate you feel, you can't disguise. It's animal, it's chemical, it's only human to hit so low". After this it bursts into its loud chorus with the distorted guitars coming back and Page sings "I know what you need, I can tell you lies" and its this part where the chorus works so great as the chords take an unusual turn and Page carries "We'll be enemies, so dissatisfied!". After this it goes into its second verse and then back into the chorus and it builds yet again towards it finish, making Enemies one of Helmet's most underrated tracks and very worth of being put on the list.
Rrrrrrrrrrrright so that's it for part 1 (which was fun, a bit more so than the Smashing Pumpkins one but I don't know how many views this post will get given quite a few of you might go "Who the hell are these guys???") and I will soon get on to part 2.
See you soon!
Sunday 19 October 2014
Mission: Impossible Part 4: Ghost Protocol "Now, what did I miss?!"
OK so now it is time for my final part of my look at the Mission: Impossible films starring Tom Cruise and this one covers the latest film in the franchise, Ghost Protocol directed by Brad Bird, which is widely regarded to be the best of the four films? Is it??? Well I will get to that a bit later on, for now let's just have a look at the plot...
The film begins with an IMF agent, Trevor Hanaway (Josh Holloway) who is trying to track down a courier working for a person who is code-named "Cobalt" however Hanaway is killed by a female assassin Sabine Moreau (Lea Seydoux). In the meantime Hanaway's team leader, Jane Carter (Paula Patton) and Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) who was a former IMF tech and has now been promoted to a field agent, extract Ethan Hunt (Cruise again again!) from a prison in Moscow along with his source, a Russian prisoner named Bogdan (Miraj Grbic). Ethan is then later recruited to lead a mission into the Kremlin along with Jane and Benji as he poses as a Russian general, aided by Benji they infiltrate the archives to gain secret files on Cobalt. However before they can the IMF frequency is suddenly broadcast which alerts the Russians to Ethan's team, but Ethan and Benji manage to escape just in time before part of the Kremlin is destroyed in a blast. Ethan who was caught in the debris of the blast awakens in hospital to be questioned by a Russian SVR agent Anatoly Sidorov (Vladmir Mashkov) who suspects him as one of the key culprits involved. Ethan however soon escapes the hospital and is extracted by the IMF and an IMF secretary (Tom Wilkinson) tells Ethan that the Russians consider the Kremlin attack as an act of war and the US government then activates "ghost protocol" which is a black operation contigency that will disavow the IMF. This will mean that Ethan and his team will be scapgoated for the attack but they will be allowed to escape from the Government custody to locate Cobalt. However the IMF secretary is killed during an attack on the car they are in but Ethan manages to escape along with an intelligence analyst William Brandt (Jeremy Renner).
Brandt then informs Ethan of Cobalt's real identity as he is a man named Kurt Hendricks (Michael Nyqvist) a Russian nuclear strategist who intends to start a nuclear war. Hendricks bombed the Kremlin in order to obtain a Russian nuclear launch control device, but he now needs the activation codes from the Budapest courier to launch nuclear missiles at the US. Brandt also tells Ethan that the exchange will happen between the assassin Moreau and Hendricks, along with another man named Wistrom (Samuli Edelmann) in Dubai. Ethan and Jane both separatelty manage to convince Wistrom and Moreau that they have made a successful exchange. However during the exchange with Moreau, she spots that Brandt is an agent and they fight as Moreau tries to flee she fights with Jane who ends up killing Moreau by kicking her out of a window. After Brandt angrily tells Jane that she has compromised the mission by killing Moreau (as Hanway, who Moreau killed, was her boyfriend) but Ethan has his own concerns about Brandt realising that he has combat skills that are not akin to analyst. Ethan decides to go to Bogdan to gain more information, meanwhile Brandt explains to Benji and Jane that he was once a soldier who was assigned as security detail to protect Ethan and his wife, Julia and he reveals that she was killed by a Serbian hit squad and he failed in his duty to protect her, which is why he give up field work and this lead to Ethan killing them and his capture in Russia. Bogdan reveals to Ethan in the meantime that Hendricks will be in Mumbai and he will try to use a defunct Soviet military satelitte, which was sold to an Indian telecommunications enterpreneur, Brij Nath (Anil Kapoor). And from here Ethan travels with Jane, Benji and Brandt to Mumbai to try and stop Hendricks from carrying out his nefarious plan...
I think it is fair to say that Ghost Protocol is the best Mission: Impossible film of the series so far as it hits just about every note just right as here we get just about the perfect mix of drama, fun, excitement, suspense and danger. The series already made a return to form with M:I-3 but here the director Brad Bird (who directed the acclaimed animation films The Incredibles and Ratatouille) takes it one step further. The film also has a nice dynamic between the characters in the film, which we sort of got with M:I-3 but here it works much better as Ethan's team all work were together with the tough yet vulnerable Jane Carter, the inexperienced and amusing field agent Benji and Brandt, the reluctant but courageous former field agent turned analyst.
Performance wise the film things are also very good here with Ghost Protocol and Tom Cruise yet again does a fine job as Ethan Hunt and again plays him in a rather low key style without being cocky but keeps him as being alert and self assured. Cruise again has some good highlights in the film and the one that instantly springs to mind is the scene where Ethan climbs his way slowly up the outside of the Burj Khalifa tower in Dubai, which just so happens to be the tallest tower in the world! And this was a stunt that Cruise performed himself although in reality he was secured by multiple cables to the tower and did not merely use the special gloves to help him climb! But it easily makes for the film's most suspenseful sequence and I'm sure its one scene you would not want to see on the big screen if you have a fear of heights! And the scene itself prompts a couple of good lines from Cruise, such as where he starts to ascend outside the building and Brant repeatedly keeps giving the countdown of time before they are due to meet with Moreau and Wistrom, and Ethan says "The countdown is not helping!". And in the next scene where Ethan has disabled the secruity systems in the server room in the building, with his special gloves no longer working, he uses a wheel of safety rope to run his way down the outside of the building, but it doesn't stretch far enough and Brandt says to him "You're line is not long enough!" and Ethan looks at him and yells "No shit!!!". Another good scene is where Ethan escapes from the Russian prison at the start of the film along with his inmate Bogdan and Benji hacks into the prison's system and plays Dean Martin's "Ain't that a kick in the head" during the prison riot!
Another good sequence is where Ethan who is disguised as a Russian general along with Benji, infiltrates the Kremlin and they use hologramatic mirriors to fool a security guard in order to try and gain access to security archives there but they interrupted and they abort the mission. This then leads Ethan into walking out of the Kremlin wearing his outfits, he takes off his face mask, and turns his military uniform inside out to reveal it is just a big jacket and he takes out a tourist map of the Kremlin as he leaves only then to be caught in the atomic blast of the Kremlin which collapses behind him, leaving Ethan to run for his life! Cruise has another good scene also where Ethan confronts Brandt over his unusual combat skills and he says to him "and you are JUST an analyst right??!" before they fight one another and Brandt easily disables Ethan with his combat training, to prove a point.
In other performances Jeremy Renner is very good in his role as William Brandt, the IMF analyst who was once a soldier and helps out Ethan and his team. Renner has some good scenes in the film as well such as the scene in Dubai where Ethan makes the climb outside the building and Brandt keeps telling Ethan a minute by minute update of the countdown of time before they are due to have the exchange meeting. And as Ethan tells him off for it, Brandt sheepishly says "I was just saying!". Another good scene is where Brandt laments over not being able to save Ethan's wife, Julia, from apparently being killed by a Serbian hit squad. And he sadly reflects "That was my last day in the field. I couldn't face another life or death situation after that". Another good scene is where Renner has to make a jump into the underground electrical area of Nath's mansion and Benji has him wear a special type of electrical wired mesh shirt, which will allow him to glide along using electricity to charge it. And Brandt jumps below hovering just over a large fan and he yells to Ethan on his headset "Should I not have jumped?! Because I jumped!!". And after Brandt survives his time down below he get's back to Benji and says "Next time I get to seduce the rich guy!" (i.e. Naf!).
Simon Pegg is great in his role as Benji, the former IMF tech now turned field agent, who still does alot of tech though. Pegg provides much of the film's comic relief and he does a fine job at it and he has some fun moments such as the scene where Ethan and Benji walk disguised into the Kremlin and Benji starts to nervously babble about being new to the field work. Also there is the scene where Benji misses the whole drama of Ethan climbing outside the tower in Dubai and he very nearly dies in the process with Brandt saving Ethan's life just in time as he pulls him back in the window. And as they all sit exhausted after, Benji comes back in after having carried out a task he says "Wooh! That was not easy I have to tell you! Now, what did I miss?!". And when Benji is given the codename "Pluto" in one scene he complains saying "Why am I Pluto? Its not even a planet anymore!" and Brandt says "Well Urunas is still available" and Benji laughs and says "Ha, its funny cos you just said anus!".
As for the other cast members, Paula Patton is good in her role as Jane Carter, one of Ethan's team who is also out for a bit of revenge over the death of boyfiend, who was killed by the French assassin Moreau. Patton has some good scenes in the film as well such as Jane's fight scene with Moreau as the two of them get into a real catfight and Jane subdues her and gives Benji a gun and says to him "Watch her! Because if I do I will kill her!" but she later kicks her out the window anyway! (although that it was an act of self defence). Patton has a fun scene with Anil Kapoor as Jane dresses up sexily when she is in Mumbai and she makes false attempts to seduce the decadent entrepeneur Nath and she grabs him in his bedroom and holds him at gunpoint whilst she get's him to tell her information for their mission. Michael Nyqvist also does well enough with his role as the main villain Hendricks who makes for a pretty ruthless bad guy, and has one chilly moment where he shoots his aide at the exchange and beforehand the aide says "please release my family" and Hendricks makes a call and says "release his family" and says to the aide after he shoots him "you can see them in person!". Lea Seydoux also proves to be effective as the French assasssin, Sabine Moreau and her quiet and cool manner makes for a rather intense villain.
And lastly Anil Kapoor (who is best known for his role in the film Slumdog Millionaire) provides an amusing turn as the sleazy Indian enterpreneur who Jane ends up flirting with although in the end he doesn't get what he was after! And last of all Tom Wilkinson provides a brief cameo role as the IMF secretary whom Ethan meets with in a car who tells him of the Ghost Protocol black op and he also has the pleasure of delivering the immortal line to Ethan "Your mission should you choose to accept it..." just before they are ambushed.
Finally getting onto Brad Bird, the director, who has done a grand job with the film and it was his first-live action film as he previously had directed animated film features only. Bird effortlessly makes the transition to live action here and he gives the film great pacing and he handles the film's action sequences very confidently and gives the film just the right amount of action, drama and fun. Music score wise the film is again scored by Michael Giachhino who scored M:I-3 as well as some of Bird's previous films and he does a pretty decent job here as his score pretty much suits the tone needed for Mission: Impossible.
Sooooo getting onto the film's flaws....... well Ghost Protocol get's most things right here although the only niggle I would have comes down to Ethan's character again as he clearly is just the straight action man, and as such his character lacks a little bit of personality and charm that we had seen from him before and again its up to the supporting characters to provide more of the fun. Another thing you would also have to say about Tom Cruise is by the time he had made Ghost Protocol, you could finally start to see that he is getting a bit wrinkly and at last his "youthful" features are starting to fade. And it won't be too long before you think watching Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt will be like as Danny Glover as Roger Murtaugh might suggest that he will be "too old for this shit!". You could also argue that the film's final action climax scene is a bit long-winded and over the top with Ethan fighting Hendricks in a car factory although the film's final epilogue is quite satisfying. Wow that was quick!
And well that's it for my look at Ghost Protocol and also the Mission: Impossible films for now as Mission: Impossible 5 is currently in the pipeline just now with Cruise again involved and Christopher McQuarrie (who wrote the screenplay for The Usual Suspects) will be at the director helm so hopefully that should be worth a watch.
But for now that's me and I will see you all later!
The film begins with an IMF agent, Trevor Hanaway (Josh Holloway) who is trying to track down a courier working for a person who is code-named "Cobalt" however Hanaway is killed by a female assassin Sabine Moreau (Lea Seydoux). In the meantime Hanaway's team leader, Jane Carter (Paula Patton) and Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) who was a former IMF tech and has now been promoted to a field agent, extract Ethan Hunt (Cruise again again!) from a prison in Moscow along with his source, a Russian prisoner named Bogdan (Miraj Grbic). Ethan is then later recruited to lead a mission into the Kremlin along with Jane and Benji as he poses as a Russian general, aided by Benji they infiltrate the archives to gain secret files on Cobalt. However before they can the IMF frequency is suddenly broadcast which alerts the Russians to Ethan's team, but Ethan and Benji manage to escape just in time before part of the Kremlin is destroyed in a blast. Ethan who was caught in the debris of the blast awakens in hospital to be questioned by a Russian SVR agent Anatoly Sidorov (Vladmir Mashkov) who suspects him as one of the key culprits involved. Ethan however soon escapes the hospital and is extracted by the IMF and an IMF secretary (Tom Wilkinson) tells Ethan that the Russians consider the Kremlin attack as an act of war and the US government then activates "ghost protocol" which is a black operation contigency that will disavow the IMF. This will mean that Ethan and his team will be scapgoated for the attack but they will be allowed to escape from the Government custody to locate Cobalt. However the IMF secretary is killed during an attack on the car they are in but Ethan manages to escape along with an intelligence analyst William Brandt (Jeremy Renner).
Brandt then informs Ethan of Cobalt's real identity as he is a man named Kurt Hendricks (Michael Nyqvist) a Russian nuclear strategist who intends to start a nuclear war. Hendricks bombed the Kremlin in order to obtain a Russian nuclear launch control device, but he now needs the activation codes from the Budapest courier to launch nuclear missiles at the US. Brandt also tells Ethan that the exchange will happen between the assassin Moreau and Hendricks, along with another man named Wistrom (Samuli Edelmann) in Dubai. Ethan and Jane both separatelty manage to convince Wistrom and Moreau that they have made a successful exchange. However during the exchange with Moreau, she spots that Brandt is an agent and they fight as Moreau tries to flee she fights with Jane who ends up killing Moreau by kicking her out of a window. After Brandt angrily tells Jane that she has compromised the mission by killing Moreau (as Hanway, who Moreau killed, was her boyfriend) but Ethan has his own concerns about Brandt realising that he has combat skills that are not akin to analyst. Ethan decides to go to Bogdan to gain more information, meanwhile Brandt explains to Benji and Jane that he was once a soldier who was assigned as security detail to protect Ethan and his wife, Julia and he reveals that she was killed by a Serbian hit squad and he failed in his duty to protect her, which is why he give up field work and this lead to Ethan killing them and his capture in Russia. Bogdan reveals to Ethan in the meantime that Hendricks will be in Mumbai and he will try to use a defunct Soviet military satelitte, which was sold to an Indian telecommunications enterpreneur, Brij Nath (Anil Kapoor). And from here Ethan travels with Jane, Benji and Brandt to Mumbai to try and stop Hendricks from carrying out his nefarious plan...
I think it is fair to say that Ghost Protocol is the best Mission: Impossible film of the series so far as it hits just about every note just right as here we get just about the perfect mix of drama, fun, excitement, suspense and danger. The series already made a return to form with M:I-3 but here the director Brad Bird (who directed the acclaimed animation films The Incredibles and Ratatouille) takes it one step further. The film also has a nice dynamic between the characters in the film, which we sort of got with M:I-3 but here it works much better as Ethan's team all work were together with the tough yet vulnerable Jane Carter, the inexperienced and amusing field agent Benji and Brandt, the reluctant but courageous former field agent turned analyst.
Performance wise the film things are also very good here with Ghost Protocol and Tom Cruise yet again does a fine job as Ethan Hunt and again plays him in a rather low key style without being cocky but keeps him as being alert and self assured. Cruise again has some good highlights in the film and the one that instantly springs to mind is the scene where Ethan climbs his way slowly up the outside of the Burj Khalifa tower in Dubai, which just so happens to be the tallest tower in the world! And this was a stunt that Cruise performed himself although in reality he was secured by multiple cables to the tower and did not merely use the special gloves to help him climb! But it easily makes for the film's most suspenseful sequence and I'm sure its one scene you would not want to see on the big screen if you have a fear of heights! And the scene itself prompts a couple of good lines from Cruise, such as where he starts to ascend outside the building and Brant repeatedly keeps giving the countdown of time before they are due to meet with Moreau and Wistrom, and Ethan says "The countdown is not helping!". And in the next scene where Ethan has disabled the secruity systems in the server room in the building, with his special gloves no longer working, he uses a wheel of safety rope to run his way down the outside of the building, but it doesn't stretch far enough and Brandt says to him "You're line is not long enough!" and Ethan looks at him and yells "No shit!!!". Another good scene is where Ethan escapes from the Russian prison at the start of the film along with his inmate Bogdan and Benji hacks into the prison's system and plays Dean Martin's "Ain't that a kick in the head" during the prison riot!
Another good sequence is where Ethan who is disguised as a Russian general along with Benji, infiltrates the Kremlin and they use hologramatic mirriors to fool a security guard in order to try and gain access to security archives there but they interrupted and they abort the mission. This then leads Ethan into walking out of the Kremlin wearing his outfits, he takes off his face mask, and turns his military uniform inside out to reveal it is just a big jacket and he takes out a tourist map of the Kremlin as he leaves only then to be caught in the atomic blast of the Kremlin which collapses behind him, leaving Ethan to run for his life! Cruise has another good scene also where Ethan confronts Brandt over his unusual combat skills and he says to him "and you are JUST an analyst right??!" before they fight one another and Brandt easily disables Ethan with his combat training, to prove a point.
In other performances Jeremy Renner is very good in his role as William Brandt, the IMF analyst who was once a soldier and helps out Ethan and his team. Renner has some good scenes in the film as well such as the scene in Dubai where Ethan makes the climb outside the building and Brandt keeps telling Ethan a minute by minute update of the countdown of time before they are due to have the exchange meeting. And as Ethan tells him off for it, Brandt sheepishly says "I was just saying!". Another good scene is where Brandt laments over not being able to save Ethan's wife, Julia, from apparently being killed by a Serbian hit squad. And he sadly reflects "That was my last day in the field. I couldn't face another life or death situation after that". Another good scene is where Renner has to make a jump into the underground electrical area of Nath's mansion and Benji has him wear a special type of electrical wired mesh shirt, which will allow him to glide along using electricity to charge it. And Brandt jumps below hovering just over a large fan and he yells to Ethan on his headset "Should I not have jumped?! Because I jumped!!". And after Brandt survives his time down below he get's back to Benji and says "Next time I get to seduce the rich guy!" (i.e. Naf!).
Simon Pegg is great in his role as Benji, the former IMF tech now turned field agent, who still does alot of tech though. Pegg provides much of the film's comic relief and he does a fine job at it and he has some fun moments such as the scene where Ethan and Benji walk disguised into the Kremlin and Benji starts to nervously babble about being new to the field work. Also there is the scene where Benji misses the whole drama of Ethan climbing outside the tower in Dubai and he very nearly dies in the process with Brandt saving Ethan's life just in time as he pulls him back in the window. And as they all sit exhausted after, Benji comes back in after having carried out a task he says "Wooh! That was not easy I have to tell you! Now, what did I miss?!". And when Benji is given the codename "Pluto" in one scene he complains saying "Why am I Pluto? Its not even a planet anymore!" and Brandt says "Well Urunas is still available" and Benji laughs and says "Ha, its funny cos you just said anus!".
As for the other cast members, Paula Patton is good in her role as Jane Carter, one of Ethan's team who is also out for a bit of revenge over the death of boyfiend, who was killed by the French assassin Moreau. Patton has some good scenes in the film as well such as Jane's fight scene with Moreau as the two of them get into a real catfight and Jane subdues her and gives Benji a gun and says to him "Watch her! Because if I do I will kill her!" but she later kicks her out the window anyway! (although that it was an act of self defence). Patton has a fun scene with Anil Kapoor as Jane dresses up sexily when she is in Mumbai and she makes false attempts to seduce the decadent entrepeneur Nath and she grabs him in his bedroom and holds him at gunpoint whilst she get's him to tell her information for their mission. Michael Nyqvist also does well enough with his role as the main villain Hendricks who makes for a pretty ruthless bad guy, and has one chilly moment where he shoots his aide at the exchange and beforehand the aide says "please release my family" and Hendricks makes a call and says "release his family" and says to the aide after he shoots him "you can see them in person!". Lea Seydoux also proves to be effective as the French assasssin, Sabine Moreau and her quiet and cool manner makes for a rather intense villain.
And lastly Anil Kapoor (who is best known for his role in the film Slumdog Millionaire) provides an amusing turn as the sleazy Indian enterpreneur who Jane ends up flirting with although in the end he doesn't get what he was after! And last of all Tom Wilkinson provides a brief cameo role as the IMF secretary whom Ethan meets with in a car who tells him of the Ghost Protocol black op and he also has the pleasure of delivering the immortal line to Ethan "Your mission should you choose to accept it..." just before they are ambushed.
Finally getting onto Brad Bird, the director, who has done a grand job with the film and it was his first-live action film as he previously had directed animated film features only. Bird effortlessly makes the transition to live action here and he gives the film great pacing and he handles the film's action sequences very confidently and gives the film just the right amount of action, drama and fun. Music score wise the film is again scored by Michael Giachhino who scored M:I-3 as well as some of Bird's previous films and he does a pretty decent job here as his score pretty much suits the tone needed for Mission: Impossible.
Sooooo getting onto the film's flaws....... well Ghost Protocol get's most things right here although the only niggle I would have comes down to Ethan's character again as he clearly is just the straight action man, and as such his character lacks a little bit of personality and charm that we had seen from him before and again its up to the supporting characters to provide more of the fun. Another thing you would also have to say about Tom Cruise is by the time he had made Ghost Protocol, you could finally start to see that he is getting a bit wrinkly and at last his "youthful" features are starting to fade. And it won't be too long before you think watching Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt will be like as Danny Glover as Roger Murtaugh might suggest that he will be "too old for this shit!". You could also argue that the film's final action climax scene is a bit long-winded and over the top with Ethan fighting Hendricks in a car factory although the film's final epilogue is quite satisfying. Wow that was quick!
And well that's it for my look at Ghost Protocol and also the Mission: Impossible films for now as Mission: Impossible 5 is currently in the pipeline just now with Cruise again involved and Christopher McQuarrie (who wrote the screenplay for The Usual Suspects) will be at the director helm so hopefully that should be worth a watch.
But for now that's me and I will see you all later!
Mission: Impossible Part 3: M:I-3 "That look in your eyes is a pain in my ass you know that?!"
OK now get onto Part 3 of my look at the Mission Impossible films, which will cover Mission Impossible III or as its also known M:I-3 or M:I:III or if you want to be even more pedantic Mission: Impossible III! (I mean how many ways do you want to market a film???). So enough of all that let's have a look at this film then!
So the film begins with Ethan Hunt (Cruise agan) who has now retired from active field work for the IMF and now trains recruits for the team and now wants to settle down with his fiancee, Julia Meade (Michelle Monaghan) who knows nothing of Ethan's past. Ethan however is soon approached by a fellow IMF agent John Musgrave (Billy Crudup) who gives Ethan a potential mission to save one of his own proteges, Lindsey Farris (Keri Russell) who was investigating an arms dealer, Owen Davian (Philip Seymour-Hoffman). Ethan accepts the mission and teams up with three other IMF agents, his old partner Luther Stickell (Vingh Rhames again), Declan Gormley (Jonathan Ryhs Meyers), Zhen Lei (Maggie Q) in Berlin. Ethan and his team raid the warehouse where Lindsey is help captive and they rescue her, however they find she has a microexplosive device implanted in her head but she dies as it goes off before Ethan can disable it using a defibrillator. Ethan afterward is reprimanded by the IMF director, Theodore Brassel (Laurence Fishburne) for mission being a failure and losing Davian. Ethan however soon learns that Lindsey had sent him a postcard, which has a microdot on it under the stamp. Later on Ethan also goes to see one of the IMF technicians, Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) who has managed to retrieve some data from the damaged laptops from the warehouse which determines that Davian will be going to Vatican city to gather an object called the "rabbit's foot". Ethan then decides to plan the mission to capture Davian without the consent of either Brassel or Musgrave.
Ethan then infiltrates the city and manages to successfully capture Davian, who during the interrogation threatens to kill Ethan's family and loved ones and he riles Ethan when he says killing Lindsey was "fun" which causes Ethan to almost drop Davian out the plane, but Davian overhears Luther say Ethan's first name. After they land Ethan learns that the microdot contains video footage of Lindsey which warns Ethan that she believes Brassel is working with Davian. However the convoy which Ethan travels in with Davian is soon attacked and Davian escapes leaving Ethan fearful for Julia's life as he races to the hospital where she works but doesn't find her there as she has already been taken. Ethan then receives a message saying that he has 48 hours to retrieve the rabbit's foot or else Julie will die, however Ethan is then captured by the IMF for disobeying orders. Once back at IMF headquarters, Musgrave discreetly mouths instructions to Ethan on the whereabouts of the rabbit's foot and gives him means to escape, as Ethan manages to break free and escape from the IMF. Ethan then travels to Shanghai where the rabbit's foot is located and with the help of his team mates he pulls off a daring feat to steal the rabbit's foot and he then takes it to Davian but his worst fear awaits him when he does....
M:I-3 sees the franchise get nicely back on track after the mediocre M:I-2 and this time round we get more of the much needed ingredients that were soarly missing from the second film, i.e. fun, suspense and excitement. The film also has what was missing so far from the films up to this point and that is a sinister villain, but we get that here with Owen Davian, who really is a rather creepy and chilling individual who takes pleasure in killing people by implanting microexplosive devices in their heads and delivers his loaded threats with a real sense of menace. The theme of Ethan wanting to retire from active field duty also nicely sets up the fact that Ethan is going to have to end up having some sort of last hurraah before he is set to go off and retire for good, only for circumstances to dramatically change as things go on.
Getting onto the performances M:I-3 has much going for it with Cruise again proving himself to be self assured in the role as Ethan Hunt and he keeps that balance of playing Ethan in a rather low key way without the cockyness that he showed in the first film. Most of Cruise's highlights come of course from him action scenes but he still does share some good moments with Vingh Rhames, who plays Ethan's good buddie and former partner, Luther Stickell. Such an example is the scene where Luther warns Ethan of the danger of having relationships in their profession and as Luther helps Ethan put on a face mask of Davian, Ethan says to Luther "Me and Julia got married two days ago" and Luther is stunned and says "Congratulations!" and Ethan smiles sarcastically saying "Thanks man, thanks!". Then there is the scene where Ethan interrogates Davian on the plane and is angered by Davian's attempts to threaten him, so Ethan opens the plane's bay doors and dangles the seat Davian is strapped into outside and he yells "Where is the rabbit's foot????!!!" cutting off the straps that secure Davian one at a time before Luther get's him to stop. Then there is the scene where Ethan makes the daring and not to mention extremely dangerous jump he calls a "fulcrum" where Ethan jumps from a rooftop in Shanghai to another building where the rabbit's foot is said to be held. This was of course a stunt that Tom "I am nuts!" Cruise pulled off himself!
Moving onto Philip Seymour-Hoffamn who pretty much steals the film with his creepy and intense performance as Owen Davian, the ruthless arms dealer who delivers on his threats. Hoffman has quite a few highlights in the film although the one that sticks to mind is when Ethan interrogates Davian on the plane and Davian says "Do you have a wife? A girlfriend? Because if you do, I'm gonna find her. I'm gonna hurt her. I'm gonna make her bleed, and cry and call out your name! And then I'm gonna find you, and kill you right in front of her!". And after Luther get's Ethan to close the plane's bay doors after he threatens to drop Davian out the plane, Davian exhausted lies there and says "What I'm selling and who I'm selling it to should be the last thing you're concerned about.....Ethan!". Then there is the scene they have at the start of the film where Davian holds good on his threat to kill Julia as he slowly counts to ten whilst holding a tied up Julia at gunpoint, which later on leads into the remainder of the scene. And in their last scene where Ethan and Davian fight each other, Davian delivers one last memorable threat "You remember when I said I would kill you in front of her... we'll I'm gonna her in front of you!" (but of course he doesn't get that far!).
Vingh Rhames also nicely reprises his role as Luther Stickell and this time round he is catered for way better than before and Rhames is given some fun moments in the film. Rhames also get's some of the film's best lines such as the scene where Luther looks annoyed when Ethan throws him a steely look and Luther says "You know that look in your eyes is a pain in my ass, you know that??!". Also there is the scene where Luther asks Ethan if he ever got intimate with his trainee Lindsey and Ethan looks warily at him saying "Lindsey was like my little sister!" and Luther says "And you never... slept with your little sister, right?!". And there is the moment where Ethan plans on how to access and break into the building holding the rabbit's foot and as Ethan asks that he needs to do know if his team are in and Luther looks at him simply and says "Of course we're in!". Billy Crudup is also quite good in his part as Musgrave, the somewhat duplicitous IMF agent who helps out Ethan and Billy could almost be the perfect double for Johnny Depp and if they ever needed a stand-in he'd be the man! Michelle Monaghan is also good in her part as Julia, Ethan's fiancee although she is seriously underused in the film given what a good actress she is, its a pity she is largely sidelined here.
As for the other performances Laurence Fishburne is really good in his role as Brassel the IMF director and he has a couple of good scenes. The first scene is where he berates Ethan for his failed mission at the start and he angrily says "You think this op was worth the risk, Mr Hunt?! What do you know about Owen Davian? He was the one who brought gas centrifuge technology to Korea and Pakistan!" and he slams files on the table as he goes on "He is a man who provides!" (slam's another file) "provides!" (slams another) "provides!" (slams yet another!). And later on when Brassel has Ethan captured for his rogue actions and as Ethan is strapped to a table with a restraint over his face, Brassel stands over him and says "You can look at me with those judgmental eyes all you want, but I bullshit you not. I will bleed on the American flag to make sure those stripes stay red!". Jonathan Rhys-Meyers also provides a decent enough turn as one of Ethan's team and has an amusing moment when they are in the Vatican city where his truck supposedly breaks down and he berates the Italian onlookers, speaking fluent Italian. Maggie Q also adds a bit of spice to the proceedings as Zhen Lei, one of Ethan's team who flirts with Ethan when he is masked up as Davian, after having spilled red wine over the real Davian's shirt earlier, and she is given the task of detonating Davian's car, which she rues saying "Its such a nice car!".
And last of all Simon Pegg provides a fun turn and more comic relief in his part as the IMF tech, Benji, who helps out Ethan twice in the film earlier on and later as Ethan races against the clock to save Julia. Pegg naturally has some good lines in the film and he is given a fairly lenghty speech about what the rabbit's foot could be and he says to Ethan "you know whenever I see a rogue organisation willing to spend this amount of money on a mystery tech, I always assume its the anti-God. End of the world kind of stuff! But no I don't have any idea what it is. I was just speculating!". And Benji also suggests "well I'm assuming the rabbit's foot is some sort of codename for a deadly weapon, otherwise it could be just some very expensive bunny apendage!".
Getting on to J.J. Abrahams who does a fine job here and he provides a fine mix of suspense, action and fun to the proceedings and he went on to prove he had a penchant for creating fine action films with the two Star Trek films. The only thing is with J.J. is that he seems to really enjoying overusing lens flare in his films! But that aside he does a grand job in keeping the pace tight and the action flowing nicely and there are several very impressively staged action scenes particularly the scene where Ethan performs his "fulcrum" rooftop jump in Shanghai to access the building holding the rabbit's foot as well as the attack on the convoy holding Davian on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge tunnel. Music wise the film also has a decent score by Michael Giacchino who later would provide the scores for J.J's Star Trek films which is nothing amazing but it suits the purpose of the film pretty well.
As for flaws.... well M:I-3 isn't quite perfect but at the same time there isn't too much wrong with it except maybe in terms of Ethan's character he is becoming a bit more one dimensional in the film at this point and the film in this respect has to rely on its more colourful characters i.e. Luther and Benji to make up for that shortfall and in this respect Ethan is now just more a man of action than anything else. The scripting is also still a bit contrived sounding and there are some corny lines here and there and it has to be said the whole formulae of Ethan receiving his missions seems to get that bit more contrived by the minute and in this film he receives his mission to save Lindsey through a kodak film pack (left in a local convenience store by Musgrave) and its not long before we hear that cliched line "You're mission should you choose to accept it....!". But these are niggles of course.
So to sum up Mission: Impossible III is fine entry in the series and it saw the franchise get back on track after the poor M:I-2 and it paved the way for the even better Ghost Protocol, which I will get to on another day.
So for now that's me and I shall bid yee goodnight (time for bed!).
So the film begins with Ethan Hunt (Cruise agan) who has now retired from active field work for the IMF and now trains recruits for the team and now wants to settle down with his fiancee, Julia Meade (Michelle Monaghan) who knows nothing of Ethan's past. Ethan however is soon approached by a fellow IMF agent John Musgrave (Billy Crudup) who gives Ethan a potential mission to save one of his own proteges, Lindsey Farris (Keri Russell) who was investigating an arms dealer, Owen Davian (Philip Seymour-Hoffman). Ethan accepts the mission and teams up with three other IMF agents, his old partner Luther Stickell (Vingh Rhames again), Declan Gormley (Jonathan Ryhs Meyers), Zhen Lei (Maggie Q) in Berlin. Ethan and his team raid the warehouse where Lindsey is help captive and they rescue her, however they find she has a microexplosive device implanted in her head but she dies as it goes off before Ethan can disable it using a defibrillator. Ethan afterward is reprimanded by the IMF director, Theodore Brassel (Laurence Fishburne) for mission being a failure and losing Davian. Ethan however soon learns that Lindsey had sent him a postcard, which has a microdot on it under the stamp. Later on Ethan also goes to see one of the IMF technicians, Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) who has managed to retrieve some data from the damaged laptops from the warehouse which determines that Davian will be going to Vatican city to gather an object called the "rabbit's foot". Ethan then decides to plan the mission to capture Davian without the consent of either Brassel or Musgrave.
Ethan then infiltrates the city and manages to successfully capture Davian, who during the interrogation threatens to kill Ethan's family and loved ones and he riles Ethan when he says killing Lindsey was "fun" which causes Ethan to almost drop Davian out the plane, but Davian overhears Luther say Ethan's first name. After they land Ethan learns that the microdot contains video footage of Lindsey which warns Ethan that she believes Brassel is working with Davian. However the convoy which Ethan travels in with Davian is soon attacked and Davian escapes leaving Ethan fearful for Julia's life as he races to the hospital where she works but doesn't find her there as she has already been taken. Ethan then receives a message saying that he has 48 hours to retrieve the rabbit's foot or else Julie will die, however Ethan is then captured by the IMF for disobeying orders. Once back at IMF headquarters, Musgrave discreetly mouths instructions to Ethan on the whereabouts of the rabbit's foot and gives him means to escape, as Ethan manages to break free and escape from the IMF. Ethan then travels to Shanghai where the rabbit's foot is located and with the help of his team mates he pulls off a daring feat to steal the rabbit's foot and he then takes it to Davian but his worst fear awaits him when he does....
M:I-3 sees the franchise get nicely back on track after the mediocre M:I-2 and this time round we get more of the much needed ingredients that were soarly missing from the second film, i.e. fun, suspense and excitement. The film also has what was missing so far from the films up to this point and that is a sinister villain, but we get that here with Owen Davian, who really is a rather creepy and chilling individual who takes pleasure in killing people by implanting microexplosive devices in their heads and delivers his loaded threats with a real sense of menace. The theme of Ethan wanting to retire from active field duty also nicely sets up the fact that Ethan is going to have to end up having some sort of last hurraah before he is set to go off and retire for good, only for circumstances to dramatically change as things go on.
Getting onto the performances M:I-3 has much going for it with Cruise again proving himself to be self assured in the role as Ethan Hunt and he keeps that balance of playing Ethan in a rather low key way without the cockyness that he showed in the first film. Most of Cruise's highlights come of course from him action scenes but he still does share some good moments with Vingh Rhames, who plays Ethan's good buddie and former partner, Luther Stickell. Such an example is the scene where Luther warns Ethan of the danger of having relationships in their profession and as Luther helps Ethan put on a face mask of Davian, Ethan says to Luther "Me and Julia got married two days ago" and Luther is stunned and says "Congratulations!" and Ethan smiles sarcastically saying "Thanks man, thanks!". Then there is the scene where Ethan interrogates Davian on the plane and is angered by Davian's attempts to threaten him, so Ethan opens the plane's bay doors and dangles the seat Davian is strapped into outside and he yells "Where is the rabbit's foot????!!!" cutting off the straps that secure Davian one at a time before Luther get's him to stop. Then there is the scene where Ethan makes the daring and not to mention extremely dangerous jump he calls a "fulcrum" where Ethan jumps from a rooftop in Shanghai to another building where the rabbit's foot is said to be held. This was of course a stunt that Tom "I am nuts!" Cruise pulled off himself!
Moving onto Philip Seymour-Hoffamn who pretty much steals the film with his creepy and intense performance as Owen Davian, the ruthless arms dealer who delivers on his threats. Hoffman has quite a few highlights in the film although the one that sticks to mind is when Ethan interrogates Davian on the plane and Davian says "Do you have a wife? A girlfriend? Because if you do, I'm gonna find her. I'm gonna hurt her. I'm gonna make her bleed, and cry and call out your name! And then I'm gonna find you, and kill you right in front of her!". And after Luther get's Ethan to close the plane's bay doors after he threatens to drop Davian out the plane, Davian exhausted lies there and says "What I'm selling and who I'm selling it to should be the last thing you're concerned about.....Ethan!". Then there is the scene they have at the start of the film where Davian holds good on his threat to kill Julia as he slowly counts to ten whilst holding a tied up Julia at gunpoint, which later on leads into the remainder of the scene. And in their last scene where Ethan and Davian fight each other, Davian delivers one last memorable threat "You remember when I said I would kill you in front of her... we'll I'm gonna her in front of you!" (but of course he doesn't get that far!).
Vingh Rhames also nicely reprises his role as Luther Stickell and this time round he is catered for way better than before and Rhames is given some fun moments in the film. Rhames also get's some of the film's best lines such as the scene where Luther looks annoyed when Ethan throws him a steely look and Luther says "You know that look in your eyes is a pain in my ass, you know that??!". Also there is the scene where Luther asks Ethan if he ever got intimate with his trainee Lindsey and Ethan looks warily at him saying "Lindsey was like my little sister!" and Luther says "And you never... slept with your little sister, right?!". And there is the moment where Ethan plans on how to access and break into the building holding the rabbit's foot and as Ethan asks that he needs to do know if his team are in and Luther looks at him simply and says "Of course we're in!". Billy Crudup is also quite good in his part as Musgrave, the somewhat duplicitous IMF agent who helps out Ethan and Billy could almost be the perfect double for Johnny Depp and if they ever needed a stand-in he'd be the man! Michelle Monaghan is also good in her part as Julia, Ethan's fiancee although she is seriously underused in the film given what a good actress she is, its a pity she is largely sidelined here.
As for the other performances Laurence Fishburne is really good in his role as Brassel the IMF director and he has a couple of good scenes. The first scene is where he berates Ethan for his failed mission at the start and he angrily says "You think this op was worth the risk, Mr Hunt?! What do you know about Owen Davian? He was the one who brought gas centrifuge technology to Korea and Pakistan!" and he slams files on the table as he goes on "He is a man who provides!" (slam's another file) "provides!" (slams another) "provides!" (slams yet another!). And later on when Brassel has Ethan captured for his rogue actions and as Ethan is strapped to a table with a restraint over his face, Brassel stands over him and says "You can look at me with those judgmental eyes all you want, but I bullshit you not. I will bleed on the American flag to make sure those stripes stay red!". Jonathan Rhys-Meyers also provides a decent enough turn as one of Ethan's team and has an amusing moment when they are in the Vatican city where his truck supposedly breaks down and he berates the Italian onlookers, speaking fluent Italian. Maggie Q also adds a bit of spice to the proceedings as Zhen Lei, one of Ethan's team who flirts with Ethan when he is masked up as Davian, after having spilled red wine over the real Davian's shirt earlier, and she is given the task of detonating Davian's car, which she rues saying "Its such a nice car!".
And last of all Simon Pegg provides a fun turn and more comic relief in his part as the IMF tech, Benji, who helps out Ethan twice in the film earlier on and later as Ethan races against the clock to save Julia. Pegg naturally has some good lines in the film and he is given a fairly lenghty speech about what the rabbit's foot could be and he says to Ethan "you know whenever I see a rogue organisation willing to spend this amount of money on a mystery tech, I always assume its the anti-God. End of the world kind of stuff! But no I don't have any idea what it is. I was just speculating!". And Benji also suggests "well I'm assuming the rabbit's foot is some sort of codename for a deadly weapon, otherwise it could be just some very expensive bunny apendage!".
Getting on to J.J. Abrahams who does a fine job here and he provides a fine mix of suspense, action and fun to the proceedings and he went on to prove he had a penchant for creating fine action films with the two Star Trek films. The only thing is with J.J. is that he seems to really enjoying overusing lens flare in his films! But that aside he does a grand job in keeping the pace tight and the action flowing nicely and there are several very impressively staged action scenes particularly the scene where Ethan performs his "fulcrum" rooftop jump in Shanghai to access the building holding the rabbit's foot as well as the attack on the convoy holding Davian on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge tunnel. Music wise the film also has a decent score by Michael Giacchino who later would provide the scores for J.J's Star Trek films which is nothing amazing but it suits the purpose of the film pretty well.
As for flaws.... well M:I-3 isn't quite perfect but at the same time there isn't too much wrong with it except maybe in terms of Ethan's character he is becoming a bit more one dimensional in the film at this point and the film in this respect has to rely on its more colourful characters i.e. Luther and Benji to make up for that shortfall and in this respect Ethan is now just more a man of action than anything else. The scripting is also still a bit contrived sounding and there are some corny lines here and there and it has to be said the whole formulae of Ethan receiving his missions seems to get that bit more contrived by the minute and in this film he receives his mission to save Lindsey through a kodak film pack (left in a local convenience store by Musgrave) and its not long before we hear that cliched line "You're mission should you choose to accept it....!". But these are niggles of course.
So to sum up Mission: Impossible III is fine entry in the series and it saw the franchise get back on track after the poor M:I-2 and it paved the way for the even better Ghost Protocol, which I will get to on another day.
So for now that's me and I shall bid yee goodnight (time for bed!).
Thursday 16 October 2014
Mission: Impossible Part 2: M:I-2 "If I let you know where I'm going, I won't be on holiday!"
Right OK as good as my word I'm now onto part 2 of my look at the Mission Impossible Tom Cruise movie franchise which will cover Mission Impossible II or as it was also known M:I-2! So without further ado let's give this un a looksee...
So the story begins with Ethan Hunt (Cruise again) being interrupted during his vacation (rockclimbing) by the IMF who inform him that someone has assumed his identity to assist a Russian bio-chemical expert Dr Vladmir Nekhrovich (Rabe Serbedzija) to enter the United States, however the doctor is killed by the person assuming Ethan's identity who reveals himself to be wearing a face mask of Ethan. The man in question is Sean Ambrose (Dougray Scott) who is a former rogue IMF agent who then crashes the plane they are on enroute to the US. Ambrose himself is after a chemical bio-virus called Chimera which he intends to sell on for a large sum of money and with IMF now concerned it will fall into the wrong hands, send Ethan after Ambrose to stop him after he is debriefed by his mission commander Swanbeck (Anthony Hopkins, god these characters have some good names!). Along the way Ethan receives help from Nyah Nordoff-Hall (Thandie Newton) a professional thief whom he has a dalliance with on first meeting her in Seville. Nyah also happens to be an ex-girlfriend of Ambrose's and Ethan convinces her to help them in an effort to get to Ambrose and Ethan also receives help from his former co-worker, Luther Stickell (Vingh Rhames) as well as a new operative, a sarcy Aussie pilot, Billy Baird (John Polson). And its up to Ethan to try and stop Ambrose from his schemes and to recover the Chimera virus safely.
There is no doubt that Mission Impossible II is the weakest film in the series as it lacks much of the suspense and fun that MI-1 had to it. Yet it does get off to a good start with the film's impressive opening sequence with Ethan doing some rock climbing while on vacation, which was in fact a stunt that carried out by Cruise himself. And what almost makes the film appealing is in fact the chemistry between Ethan and the saucy and feisty Nyah which works very well in the film. But one of the problems is the fact that M:I-2 really doesn't have an effective villain as Sean Ambrose is hardly the stuff of an effective and chilling bad-ass and morely just a moody Scotsman! (and I'm Scottish myself!) which was also a similar problem with the first film as well with Jon Voight's rather ineffective character and it would take until MI3 for them to sort that out, but I will get to that later.
Quickly getting onto the performances Cruise does actually fair well again in his role as Ethan Hunt and this time he underplays the role nicely and get's a bit further away from the cocky young upstart we still seen traces of in the first film. Cruise still also has some good moments in the film such as his opening scene where Ethan goes rock climbing but the IMF interrupt him and he receives a message from them about a mission in which his superior says "You should let us know where you are going if you are on holiday" and Ethan says "If I let you know where I'm going, I won't be on holiday!". Cruise also shares a nice onscreen chemistry with Thandie Newton as the two of them have an amusing scene together at the start where Ethan tests her skills as thief as she tries open a container whilst they are in very close contact with one another! And later on they flirt dangerously with one another as they race each other on the roads in Seville before Nyah nearly runs her car off the road! And lastly Cruise also has a good fight scene at the end with Dougray Scott as Ethan and Ambrose finally clash with one another in a lengthy fight on a beach.
Thandie Newton does really well here with her performance as Nyah and she is arguably the best perfomer in the film as her character is easily the most colourful and interesting (as well as sexy!) one in the film and its just a shame that Thandie wasn't given a better film to put her talents to good use. And as already mentioned Thandie and Tom lend a nice chemistry to the film as Ethan and Nyah spark well off one another and its a shame in a way that the film's material ultimately let's them both down. Dougray Scott on the other hand is easily the weakest link here (goodbye!) in the cast as his villain Sean Ambrose fails to convince on any level really. Scott still has one or two moments in the film that allow for brief moments of amusement such as the scene where he confronts Ethan in the labs as Ethan is set to destroy the Chimera virus and he says to Ethan "You still can't stop grinning for 15 minutes at a time!" and the scene where he uses a device for cutting off the ends of cigars on his own henchman and nearly snips off his finger.
As for the other performances Vingh Rhames nicely resumes his role as Luther Stickell although he isn't given much to do here and again he is let down by the poor material given when a character as fun as Luther should be given something better to work with. John Polson on the other hand is actually just plain annoying in his role as the cocky Aussie pilot, Billy Baird who helps out Ethan and he resorts to using some bland one-liners, which really don't add to the film in any way that is amusing or interesting. And lastly Anthony Hopkins is criminally underused in the film as the ridiculously named Commander Swanbeck but again its probably just as well as the film script wise doesn't really offer a great deal to the other actors either.
Which brings me onto the director John Woo, who surprisingly falls flat here as despite the film's pretty decent climactic fight scene between Ethan and Ambrose and Ethan and Nyah's dangerous flirtations on the roads of Seville, he doesn't really execute the film's other action scenes that well, which given his reputation as an action director is something I thought I would never say! The film's music score on the other hand is one of the film's aspects which fares better as Hans Zimmer provides a pretty decent one for the film although the inclusion of Lisa Gerard (who Zimmer collaborated with on the soundtrack for Gladiator) singing over certain scenes seems a bit out of place here.
Which leads me toward the flaws of MI2 and does it have any???? Yep, well I've already intimated at them but it has to be said the main problem with the film is the story is in itself pretty turgid and uninteresting and the screenplay (written by Robert Towne who has in his time written some classics such as Chinatown) is also rather trite, cliched and banal sounding leaving the actors with little to work with. The film also suffers from a mediocre villain in Sean Ambrose which I've already mentioned who appears to be more just a moody Glaswegian who just loves the chance to beat up on somebody (including his own men!). The film's so called plot twists are also entirely predictable as well as there is an overabundance of either Ethan or Ambrose using face masks of the other to pretend they are one another or someone else and it pretty soon get's old. And overall there is just no real sense of fun in MI2 and it morely just leaves the viewer a bit cold, bored and uninterested by the end of it all.
So that's it for my look at Mission Impossible II, which was a big disappointment after the very entertaining first film, which is just as well that Mission Impossible III rectified that nicely, which I will get on to on another night.
But until then I'll leave it for now and bid yee goodnight!
So the story begins with Ethan Hunt (Cruise again) being interrupted during his vacation (rockclimbing) by the IMF who inform him that someone has assumed his identity to assist a Russian bio-chemical expert Dr Vladmir Nekhrovich (Rabe Serbedzija) to enter the United States, however the doctor is killed by the person assuming Ethan's identity who reveals himself to be wearing a face mask of Ethan. The man in question is Sean Ambrose (Dougray Scott) who is a former rogue IMF agent who then crashes the plane they are on enroute to the US. Ambrose himself is after a chemical bio-virus called Chimera which he intends to sell on for a large sum of money and with IMF now concerned it will fall into the wrong hands, send Ethan after Ambrose to stop him after he is debriefed by his mission commander Swanbeck (Anthony Hopkins, god these characters have some good names!). Along the way Ethan receives help from Nyah Nordoff-Hall (Thandie Newton) a professional thief whom he has a dalliance with on first meeting her in Seville. Nyah also happens to be an ex-girlfriend of Ambrose's and Ethan convinces her to help them in an effort to get to Ambrose and Ethan also receives help from his former co-worker, Luther Stickell (Vingh Rhames) as well as a new operative, a sarcy Aussie pilot, Billy Baird (John Polson). And its up to Ethan to try and stop Ambrose from his schemes and to recover the Chimera virus safely.
There is no doubt that Mission Impossible II is the weakest film in the series as it lacks much of the suspense and fun that MI-1 had to it. Yet it does get off to a good start with the film's impressive opening sequence with Ethan doing some rock climbing while on vacation, which was in fact a stunt that carried out by Cruise himself. And what almost makes the film appealing is in fact the chemistry between Ethan and the saucy and feisty Nyah which works very well in the film. But one of the problems is the fact that M:I-2 really doesn't have an effective villain as Sean Ambrose is hardly the stuff of an effective and chilling bad-ass and morely just a moody Scotsman! (and I'm Scottish myself!) which was also a similar problem with the first film as well with Jon Voight's rather ineffective character and it would take until MI3 for them to sort that out, but I will get to that later.
Quickly getting onto the performances Cruise does actually fair well again in his role as Ethan Hunt and this time he underplays the role nicely and get's a bit further away from the cocky young upstart we still seen traces of in the first film. Cruise still also has some good moments in the film such as his opening scene where Ethan goes rock climbing but the IMF interrupt him and he receives a message from them about a mission in which his superior says "You should let us know where you are going if you are on holiday" and Ethan says "If I let you know where I'm going, I won't be on holiday!". Cruise also shares a nice onscreen chemistry with Thandie Newton as the two of them have an amusing scene together at the start where Ethan tests her skills as thief as she tries open a container whilst they are in very close contact with one another! And later on they flirt dangerously with one another as they race each other on the roads in Seville before Nyah nearly runs her car off the road! And lastly Cruise also has a good fight scene at the end with Dougray Scott as Ethan and Ambrose finally clash with one another in a lengthy fight on a beach.
Thandie Newton does really well here with her performance as Nyah and she is arguably the best perfomer in the film as her character is easily the most colourful and interesting (as well as sexy!) one in the film and its just a shame that Thandie wasn't given a better film to put her talents to good use. And as already mentioned Thandie and Tom lend a nice chemistry to the film as Ethan and Nyah spark well off one another and its a shame in a way that the film's material ultimately let's them both down. Dougray Scott on the other hand is easily the weakest link here (goodbye!) in the cast as his villain Sean Ambrose fails to convince on any level really. Scott still has one or two moments in the film that allow for brief moments of amusement such as the scene where he confronts Ethan in the labs as Ethan is set to destroy the Chimera virus and he says to Ethan "You still can't stop grinning for 15 minutes at a time!" and the scene where he uses a device for cutting off the ends of cigars on his own henchman and nearly snips off his finger.
As for the other performances Vingh Rhames nicely resumes his role as Luther Stickell although he isn't given much to do here and again he is let down by the poor material given when a character as fun as Luther should be given something better to work with. John Polson on the other hand is actually just plain annoying in his role as the cocky Aussie pilot, Billy Baird who helps out Ethan and he resorts to using some bland one-liners, which really don't add to the film in any way that is amusing or interesting. And lastly Anthony Hopkins is criminally underused in the film as the ridiculously named Commander Swanbeck but again its probably just as well as the film script wise doesn't really offer a great deal to the other actors either.
Which brings me onto the director John Woo, who surprisingly falls flat here as despite the film's pretty decent climactic fight scene between Ethan and Ambrose and Ethan and Nyah's dangerous flirtations on the roads of Seville, he doesn't really execute the film's other action scenes that well, which given his reputation as an action director is something I thought I would never say! The film's music score on the other hand is one of the film's aspects which fares better as Hans Zimmer provides a pretty decent one for the film although the inclusion of Lisa Gerard (who Zimmer collaborated with on the soundtrack for Gladiator) singing over certain scenes seems a bit out of place here.
Which leads me toward the flaws of MI2 and does it have any???? Yep, well I've already intimated at them but it has to be said the main problem with the film is the story is in itself pretty turgid and uninteresting and the screenplay (written by Robert Towne who has in his time written some classics such as Chinatown) is also rather trite, cliched and banal sounding leaving the actors with little to work with. The film also suffers from a mediocre villain in Sean Ambrose which I've already mentioned who appears to be more just a moody Glaswegian who just loves the chance to beat up on somebody (including his own men!). The film's so called plot twists are also entirely predictable as well as there is an overabundance of either Ethan or Ambrose using face masks of the other to pretend they are one another or someone else and it pretty soon get's old. And overall there is just no real sense of fun in MI2 and it morely just leaves the viewer a bit cold, bored and uninterested by the end of it all.
So that's it for my look at Mission Impossible II, which was a big disappointment after the very entertaining first film, which is just as well that Mission Impossible III rectified that nicely, which I will get on to on another night.
But until then I'll leave it for now and bid yee goodnight!
Mission: Impossible Part 1: "Red light! Green light!"
OK so its time for me to tackle another film franchise and I thought I would give the Mission Impossible series a go, i.e. the films starring Tom Cruise as the agent, Nathan Hunt with the Impossible Mission Force (or IMF). So there are four films to cover so might as well start with the first one funnily enough called Mission Impossible. So let's gear up and give this one a look!
So the film starts with Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) who is part of the IMF team which is led by Jim Phelps (Jon Voight) and they are sent on a mission to prevent the theft of the non-official cover (NOC) list from the American embassy in Prague. However the mission goes drastically wrong as several of team members are killed as Ethan witnesses Phelps being shot via Phelp's video glasses and Phelps wife, Claire (Emannuelle Beart) being killed in a car bomb, ultimately leaving Ethan the only surviving member. Ethan later regroups with the IMF director Eugene Kittridge (Henry Czerny) to debrief where he learns that the mission was a setup and the NOC list was a fake and the purposes of the mission was to try and reveal an internal mole within IMF. Kittridge reveals that he believes that the NOC list was set to be sold to a black market arms dealer known by the alias "Max" and as Ethan is the only surviving member of the team, Kittredge suspects Ethan to be the mole. Ethan however creations a diversion and he flees before being captured.
Ethan then returns to the safe house where he deduces that a contact for Max, nicknamed as "Job" was from an entry from the Bible, Job 3-14. Ethan then contacts Max via the Internet posing as Job to set up a meeting, when all of suddenly Clare arrives at the safe house. Claire eventually convinces Ethan to trust her as she tells him that she escaped the car bomb just in time as Phelps had given the order to abort the mission. Ethan then meets with Max (Vanessa Redgrave) and tells her that the NOC list she acquired is a fake but it has a tracking device, which will alert the CIA, and they escaped just before the CIA agents and Kittridge arrive at the scene. Ethan then agrees to steal the real NOC list for Max in exchange for 10 million dollars and in order to steal the list Ethan recruits help from two former disavowed IMF agents, Luther Stickell (Vingh Rhames) a computer expert, and a volatile pilot Franz Kruger (Jean Reno). And together they pull off a daring robbery at the CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia, where Ethan successfully steals the NOC list. But from here this is where things take a twist as Ethan meets up with a familiar face and one he least expected......
Mission Impossible sees the TV show make the transition to the big screen very well as its an entertaining and at times suspenseful film, which is well directed by one of the suspense meisters Brain De Palma. Tom Cruise who stars as Ethan Hunt was keen on the idea of doing the film as himself was a big fan of the TV show and at his own insistence did his own stunts for the film as well (well he is nuts after all!). Cruise also would prove to be quite an influential figure during the production of the film so much so there were rumours that De Palma did not get on with Cruise during filming.
Performance wise things are fairly good in Mission Impossible with Tom Cruise doing a good job in the role as Ethan Hunt, although it has to be said that he is still doing that cocky callow youth thing a bit like he had done for the first ten years or so of his career, which can make his performance a bit annoying at times. Regardless of that though Cruise does have some good moments in the film such as the scene where he meets with Kittridge who ends up accusing him of being the mole that IMF are looking for. And as Kittridge says Ethan must be upset, Ethan says "Kittridge you've never seen me upset!" just before Ethan throws an explosive stuck of gum against a large fish tank in the restaurant and Ethan flees as a tidal wave of water gushes out into the streets. Then there is the scene where Ethan and the others infiltrate the CIA headquarters and Ethan prevents Kruger from killing one of the security guards and says "zero body count!" and Kruger sceptically says "We'll see!". The scene where Ethan enters the CIA computer room is also one of the highlights of the film as Ethan is suspended by a wire, which Kruger holds up above in a vent but let's go of it in the last minute as a rat clambers toward him leaving Ethan dangling just inches from the security triggered floor! Another good scene for Cruise is when Ethan uses his slight of hand tricks with the NOC list to tease Kruger into thinking he has the fake list. And Ethan says to Kruger "What have you never seen this trick?" and then he produces the NOC list again saying "Do you really think I would let you have the NOC list?!". Then there is the scene where Ethan is in London on a telephone to Kittridge who is insists that he turn himself in and Ethan says "Can I ask you something, Kittridge? If you are dealing with a man who has crushed, shot, stabbed and detonated five members of his own IMF team, how devastated are you going to make him by hauling Mom and Uncle Donald down to the county courthouse?". And during the film's climactic action scene with Ethan in the tunnel on the outside of the train being chased by Kruger in a helicopter, Ethan launches himself onto the helicopter and sticks the explosive piece of gum on it yelling "Red light! Green light!". And last of all when its all over, Nathan meets with Luther who says to him after he has been cleared of his disavowed status "I'm gonna miss being disreputable!" and Ethan says "Well if it helps, Luther, I'll always think of you that way".
Jon Voight does well enough in his relatively small role as Jim Phelps the leader of the IMF team who is supposedly killed during the opening mission of the film only to find all is not what it seems. Emmanuelle Beart is very good as Claire, Jim's wife who survives the IMF team's attack and teams up with Ethan to carry out the NOC list robbery at Langley. Vanessa Redgrave also makes a good impression as the rather mysterious Max who she plays with a certain amount sexiness as she teases and flirts her way through the film. And as Kittridge finally catches up with Max at the end of the film she says to him "my lawyers are going to have a field day with this. Entrapment, jurisdictional conflict...!". Henry Czerny is also good as the rather smarmy IMF director, Eugene Kittridge who chases Ethan and he has some good moment such as the scene where he just misses capturing Ethan in Vienna and he says to one of his men "Let's not waste time chasing him, let him come to us. Everyone has pressure points. You find something that is personally important to him and you... squeeze!".
Jean Reno is also really good in his role as Kruger, the corrupt and somewhat devious disavowed agent who get's invovled in the robbery of the NOC list. Reno has some good moments such as the scene where Ethan performs his slight of hand trickery with the NOC list and he says to Ethan "Try any slight of hand with my money and I'll cut your throat!". And Vingh Rhames provides a fine and enjoyable performace in the film as the wily Luther Stickell who get's involved in the heist but also helps out Ethan near the end. And Luther at the end of the film says to Ethan "I'm gonna miss being disreputable". And there is the scene where Luther meets with Ethan on the train and Ethan reminds him of a previous hack and Luther says "there was never any physical evidence I had anything to do with that.... that.... exceptional piece of work!". And lastly there are some brief but decent efforts from Kirsten Scott Thomas, who is criminally underused here and Emilio Estevez also does OK in his brief role as Jack the hacker (makes a change from the ripper!) who ends up getting crushed by colliding lift when he works in an elevator. Estevez has a good moment where he hands the explosive stick of gum to Ethan and he says "Asta lasagne, don't get any on ya! Just don't chew it!".
Getting onto Brian De Palma who does a fine job here as he is no stranger to suspense films and he also lends his own visual splendour to his films and he uses the frame well and certain scenes he juxtaposes characters well. Such an example is this where we see Ethan in the vault at Langley as he dangles above the CIA analyst who is in the foreground of the shot and Ethan is in the back up above. The film's score by Danny Elfman is also worthy of note which is overall pretty good but it is in Elfman's typical style a bit loud and overbearing at times but nonetheless there are some good moments there as well.
As for the flaws of the film.... well MI1 is far from bad but I guess in a way the problem lies with its use of some the characters is pretty minimal such as Kirsten Scott Thomas's character and Emilio Estevez who are quickly killed off. I also felt that Jon Voight's performance was one of the weaker ones in the film and his character's (PLOT SPOILER) betrayal is a bit predictable and he isn't too effective as a villain. The film also stumbles a bit in its climax with Ethan chasing after Phelps on the high speed train as Kruger also pilots his helicopter through the tunnels chasing the train which is a bit silly and over the top.
But those niggles put aside MI1 is still a very entertaining start to the movie franchise of the original TV show and its a pity it would be followed up by the rather medicore MI2 however I will review it nonetheless soon (but I will need it to watch it first as its a film I never really watched all the way through so a bit of homework lies ahead and I will give my opinion on it soon).
So until the next one see you's later.
So the film starts with Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) who is part of the IMF team which is led by Jim Phelps (Jon Voight) and they are sent on a mission to prevent the theft of the non-official cover (NOC) list from the American embassy in Prague. However the mission goes drastically wrong as several of team members are killed as Ethan witnesses Phelps being shot via Phelp's video glasses and Phelps wife, Claire (Emannuelle Beart) being killed in a car bomb, ultimately leaving Ethan the only surviving member. Ethan later regroups with the IMF director Eugene Kittridge (Henry Czerny) to debrief where he learns that the mission was a setup and the NOC list was a fake and the purposes of the mission was to try and reveal an internal mole within IMF. Kittridge reveals that he believes that the NOC list was set to be sold to a black market arms dealer known by the alias "Max" and as Ethan is the only surviving member of the team, Kittredge suspects Ethan to be the mole. Ethan however creations a diversion and he flees before being captured.
Ethan then returns to the safe house where he deduces that a contact for Max, nicknamed as "Job" was from an entry from the Bible, Job 3-14. Ethan then contacts Max via the Internet posing as Job to set up a meeting, when all of suddenly Clare arrives at the safe house. Claire eventually convinces Ethan to trust her as she tells him that she escaped the car bomb just in time as Phelps had given the order to abort the mission. Ethan then meets with Max (Vanessa Redgrave) and tells her that the NOC list she acquired is a fake but it has a tracking device, which will alert the CIA, and they escaped just before the CIA agents and Kittridge arrive at the scene. Ethan then agrees to steal the real NOC list for Max in exchange for 10 million dollars and in order to steal the list Ethan recruits help from two former disavowed IMF agents, Luther Stickell (Vingh Rhames) a computer expert, and a volatile pilot Franz Kruger (Jean Reno). And together they pull off a daring robbery at the CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia, where Ethan successfully steals the NOC list. But from here this is where things take a twist as Ethan meets up with a familiar face and one he least expected......
Mission Impossible sees the TV show make the transition to the big screen very well as its an entertaining and at times suspenseful film, which is well directed by one of the suspense meisters Brain De Palma. Tom Cruise who stars as Ethan Hunt was keen on the idea of doing the film as himself was a big fan of the TV show and at his own insistence did his own stunts for the film as well (well he is nuts after all!). Cruise also would prove to be quite an influential figure during the production of the film so much so there were rumours that De Palma did not get on with Cruise during filming.
Performance wise things are fairly good in Mission Impossible with Tom Cruise doing a good job in the role as Ethan Hunt, although it has to be said that he is still doing that cocky callow youth thing a bit like he had done for the first ten years or so of his career, which can make his performance a bit annoying at times. Regardless of that though Cruise does have some good moments in the film such as the scene where he meets with Kittridge who ends up accusing him of being the mole that IMF are looking for. And as Kittridge says Ethan must be upset, Ethan says "Kittridge you've never seen me upset!" just before Ethan throws an explosive stuck of gum against a large fish tank in the restaurant and Ethan flees as a tidal wave of water gushes out into the streets. Then there is the scene where Ethan and the others infiltrate the CIA headquarters and Ethan prevents Kruger from killing one of the security guards and says "zero body count!" and Kruger sceptically says "We'll see!". The scene where Ethan enters the CIA computer room is also one of the highlights of the film as Ethan is suspended by a wire, which Kruger holds up above in a vent but let's go of it in the last minute as a rat clambers toward him leaving Ethan dangling just inches from the security triggered floor! Another good scene for Cruise is when Ethan uses his slight of hand tricks with the NOC list to tease Kruger into thinking he has the fake list. And Ethan says to Kruger "What have you never seen this trick?" and then he produces the NOC list again saying "Do you really think I would let you have the NOC list?!". Then there is the scene where Ethan is in London on a telephone to Kittridge who is insists that he turn himself in and Ethan says "Can I ask you something, Kittridge? If you are dealing with a man who has crushed, shot, stabbed and detonated five members of his own IMF team, how devastated are you going to make him by hauling Mom and Uncle Donald down to the county courthouse?". And during the film's climactic action scene with Ethan in the tunnel on the outside of the train being chased by Kruger in a helicopter, Ethan launches himself onto the helicopter and sticks the explosive piece of gum on it yelling "Red light! Green light!". And last of all when its all over, Nathan meets with Luther who says to him after he has been cleared of his disavowed status "I'm gonna miss being disreputable!" and Ethan says "Well if it helps, Luther, I'll always think of you that way".
Jon Voight does well enough in his relatively small role as Jim Phelps the leader of the IMF team who is supposedly killed during the opening mission of the film only to find all is not what it seems. Emmanuelle Beart is very good as Claire, Jim's wife who survives the IMF team's attack and teams up with Ethan to carry out the NOC list robbery at Langley. Vanessa Redgrave also makes a good impression as the rather mysterious Max who she plays with a certain amount sexiness as she teases and flirts her way through the film. And as Kittridge finally catches up with Max at the end of the film she says to him "my lawyers are going to have a field day with this. Entrapment, jurisdictional conflict...!". Henry Czerny is also good as the rather smarmy IMF director, Eugene Kittridge who chases Ethan and he has some good moment such as the scene where he just misses capturing Ethan in Vienna and he says to one of his men "Let's not waste time chasing him, let him come to us. Everyone has pressure points. You find something that is personally important to him and you... squeeze!".
Jean Reno is also really good in his role as Kruger, the corrupt and somewhat devious disavowed agent who get's invovled in the robbery of the NOC list. Reno has some good moments such as the scene where Ethan performs his slight of hand trickery with the NOC list and he says to Ethan "Try any slight of hand with my money and I'll cut your throat!". And Vingh Rhames provides a fine and enjoyable performace in the film as the wily Luther Stickell who get's involved in the heist but also helps out Ethan near the end. And Luther at the end of the film says to Ethan "I'm gonna miss being disreputable". And there is the scene where Luther meets with Ethan on the train and Ethan reminds him of a previous hack and Luther says "there was never any physical evidence I had anything to do with that.... that.... exceptional piece of work!". And lastly there are some brief but decent efforts from Kirsten Scott Thomas, who is criminally underused here and Emilio Estevez also does OK in his brief role as Jack the hacker (makes a change from the ripper!) who ends up getting crushed by colliding lift when he works in an elevator. Estevez has a good moment where he hands the explosive stick of gum to Ethan and he says "Asta lasagne, don't get any on ya! Just don't chew it!".
Getting onto Brian De Palma who does a fine job here as he is no stranger to suspense films and he also lends his own visual splendour to his films and he uses the frame well and certain scenes he juxtaposes characters well. Such an example is this where we see Ethan in the vault at Langley as he dangles above the CIA analyst who is in the foreground of the shot and Ethan is in the back up above. The film's score by Danny Elfman is also worthy of note which is overall pretty good but it is in Elfman's typical style a bit loud and overbearing at times but nonetheless there are some good moments there as well.
As for the flaws of the film.... well MI1 is far from bad but I guess in a way the problem lies with its use of some the characters is pretty minimal such as Kirsten Scott Thomas's character and Emilio Estevez who are quickly killed off. I also felt that Jon Voight's performance was one of the weaker ones in the film and his character's (PLOT SPOILER) betrayal is a bit predictable and he isn't too effective as a villain. The film also stumbles a bit in its climax with Ethan chasing after Phelps on the high speed train as Kruger also pilots his helicopter through the tunnels chasing the train which is a bit silly and over the top.
But those niggles put aside MI1 is still a very entertaining start to the movie franchise of the original TV show and its a pity it would be followed up by the rather medicore MI2 however I will review it nonetheless soon (but I will need it to watch it first as its a film I never really watched all the way through so a bit of homework lies ahead and I will give my opinion on it soon).
So until the next one see you's later.
Saturday 11 October 2014
Assassin's creed "Nine lives in exchange for mine"
Right OK time for another review and this one will be on a video game (this could almost be like a revolving wheel the way I do these!) and I've opted to review Assassin's Creed, the first game which started the hugely popular stealth action game franchise. And with that let's give this one a closer look....
So a bit about the plot, which I won't go to deep into, but the story is set around a bartender, Desmond Miles (voiced by Nolan North) who is kidnapped by Abstergo industries. Desmond is forced to interface with the Animus, which is a device which can be used to replay the genetic memories of a user's ancestors. Desmond in this instance is used to track the memories of his ancestor, Altair Ibn-La'Ahad, an assassin during the time of the Third Crusade. Once in the Animus after an initial training section, Desmond joins with Altair's memories of the time when he was attemtping to stop Robert de Sable from taking an artefact from a temple but he ended up failing and breaking the tenets of the Assassin's brotherhood. Robert de Sable then launches an attack on the Brotherhood on their home ground, which Altair helps to thwart, but afterwards he is demoted by the brotherhood leader, Al Mualim (Peter Reneday). Al Mualim assigns Altair the task of assassinating nine people, all of whom are Templars. And this is where Altair embarks on his dangerous journey throughout the Kingdom to kill the people he is required to but along the way he learns that all is not what it seems.
There is no doubt that Assassin's creed is a compelling and very entertaining game and its concept is something of a breath of fresh air as far as action stealth games given its unique take on the who stealth assassin game style. Assassin's creed is of course based on the idea of a virtual reality world which is very similar to the Matrix where the Desmond is essentially Neo, as he enters the Animus he is able to join (or synchronise) his mind with his ancestor's memories. The game itself also takes on a similar sandbox still of gameplay as the Grand Theft Auto series does where Altair can roam cities freely largely without restriction although there are some errors that are inaccessible due to limits of the memories that Desmond can access in the Animus. The game itself was in actual fact originally going to be another Prince of Persia title with the idea of the prince being an assassin but this was soon dropped in favour of the idea of an assassin in medieval times.
Gameplay wise Assassin's creed is actually quite straight forward and easily controllable and Altair's movement is actually very similar to the Prince in the Prince of Persia series where Altair can run, jump, climb, shimmy, although surprisingly enough one thing he can't appear to do is crouch! The style of the game works also by Desmond and Altair's memories synchronise with one another and Altair has a health bar, which when he is killed, Desmond memory will desynchronise with Altairs and the memory will be reloaded to a previous point As Altair also carries out the assassinations his health bar increases and he receives a piece of his equipment back each time, e.g. swords, knives or armour and learns new moves and attacks, which you can practise in the game before moving onto a mission. In the game Altair when moving about the different lcoations in the game he must always be way of soldiers, guards and other people as there is a status bar which goes yellow or red when Altair is in danger of being rumbled for his actions. When this happens Altair has to try and give his foes the slip by hiding in a haystack, or garden rooftop or sitting on a bench next to citizens. Altair in the game also has what is called Eagle vision which he can use to determine which characters are an enemy (red), ally (blue) or an assassination target (gold).
During gameplay Altair can also climb up to view points throughout the game's locations which will allow him to scan the surrounding area for new points of interest to discover, which can be quite important to the game as in most instances it allows Altair to complete his investigations for preparing to kill one of his targets. Altair was he begins his investigations can obtain information in different ways such as eavesdropping on conversations of particular characters, pickpocketing, interrogating or carrying out tasks for informers who will provide Altair with further information. Altair can also carry out stealth kills on his foes by using his concealed blade or he can engage in battle with several enemies at once by using his sword or knives where he locks on a specific enemy and he can block attacks and carry out killing moves while in combat.
Visuals wise, Assassin's creed is simply stunning and a feast for the eyes (so to speak!) as its graphics are rich, varied and detailed. Altair throughout the game moves between the headquarters of the Brotherhood in Masyaf as well as three cities, Jerusalem, Damascus and Acre. In the cities Altair can freely roam around the cities either on the ground or over the rooftops of houses, buildings and castles. When Altair climbs up to a view point and performs a synchronisation it creates a visually impressive 360 degree vista shot of the surrounding landscape which is very impressive effect before Altair performs his leap of faith as he dives from the view point into a haystack below. Character model wise the characters are all pretty impressive for their time although they aren't lifelike by any means. The game also features a great music score by Jesper Kyd, which is dramatic, rich and atmospheric sounding, all from the man who could rightly be called the John Williams of video game composers because his scores are simply that good! Voice acting wise the cast are also very good with Nolan North as Desmond Miles, Phil Shahbaz are Altair, Kirsten Bell as Lucy, a research assistant at Abstergo industries, Phil Proctor as Warren Vidic, the leader of the Animus project and Peter Reneday as Al Mualim, all providing excellent performances in their roles.
As for the game's flaws........ well yep OK Assassin's creed is far from perfect and the game's most annoying flaws is that it is actually very repetitive in its gameplay. Each mission takes on the same format as Altair has to travel a long way to get to where he is going and as it happens in each mission it quickly becomes a bit of a chore (and a bore!) particularly for the first three missions. The missions also pretty much take on the same format once Altair arrives at the location of where his target is at and he has to spend alot of time try to scan for new locations for his investigations and then obtain the information and after he does he has to keep travelling back to the Assassin beareau where he has to meet with the beareau leader there, which quickly comes quite tiresome. The game also features some annoying moments such as Altair being pestered by women in the market areas begging for money or in other cases a deranged citizens who keep trying to push Altair and knock him over, both of which are a real pain in the ass, especially when you are trying to escape from guards. I also felt some of the game's combat moves are a bit tricky to pull off properly and during battles and in the end I just resorted to frantically hitting the "X" button on my Xbox 360 controller, which to be fair delivered the desired effect!
Some of the game's sequences involving Desmond can also be a bit tedious where Vidic, the project leader of the Animus tells him about the vision of Abstergo industries and why Desmond is there. It also certainly doesn't make for a fun time for Desmond to lie down on a device and imagine killing people before taking a rest in his room for a bit then go back to do some more! Another slightly annoying issue is that when Altair is ready to carry out his assassination and you go to the location and it saves it in the game, when you reload the game it takes it back to the assassin's bureau which means you have to trek to the location of the assassination again! Also as the missions carry on your contact at the bureau may tell you roughly where to go looking for clues but this can also be a pain as it can be hard to pinpoint where you need to be to find where you want to go and in the end it takes a bit of guess work since the locations don't always show up on the game's in menu map! And last of all let's face it, as far as playable characters go, Altair is a bit of an arrogant twat as he quite often defies his master as well as insults and looks down upon others so even though he is somewhat fun to control as a game character, he is still quite annoying on a personal level and no doubt I'm sure most people would like to give him a slap (although they might not live to see another day afterwards!).
However all that put to the side, Assassin's Creed is still an enjoyable if at times repetitive game which did kick off a very successful game franchise and as such it is still very much worth playing for its gameplay, stunning visuals, good voice acting and its superb music score.
And with that I shall desynchronise for the night!
So a bit about the plot, which I won't go to deep into, but the story is set around a bartender, Desmond Miles (voiced by Nolan North) who is kidnapped by Abstergo industries. Desmond is forced to interface with the Animus, which is a device which can be used to replay the genetic memories of a user's ancestors. Desmond in this instance is used to track the memories of his ancestor, Altair Ibn-La'Ahad, an assassin during the time of the Third Crusade. Once in the Animus after an initial training section, Desmond joins with Altair's memories of the time when he was attemtping to stop Robert de Sable from taking an artefact from a temple but he ended up failing and breaking the tenets of the Assassin's brotherhood. Robert de Sable then launches an attack on the Brotherhood on their home ground, which Altair helps to thwart, but afterwards he is demoted by the brotherhood leader, Al Mualim (Peter Reneday). Al Mualim assigns Altair the task of assassinating nine people, all of whom are Templars. And this is where Altair embarks on his dangerous journey throughout the Kingdom to kill the people he is required to but along the way he learns that all is not what it seems.
There is no doubt that Assassin's creed is a compelling and very entertaining game and its concept is something of a breath of fresh air as far as action stealth games given its unique take on the who stealth assassin game style. Assassin's creed is of course based on the idea of a virtual reality world which is very similar to the Matrix where the Desmond is essentially Neo, as he enters the Animus he is able to join (or synchronise) his mind with his ancestor's memories. The game itself also takes on a similar sandbox still of gameplay as the Grand Theft Auto series does where Altair can roam cities freely largely without restriction although there are some errors that are inaccessible due to limits of the memories that Desmond can access in the Animus. The game itself was in actual fact originally going to be another Prince of Persia title with the idea of the prince being an assassin but this was soon dropped in favour of the idea of an assassin in medieval times.
Gameplay wise Assassin's creed is actually quite straight forward and easily controllable and Altair's movement is actually very similar to the Prince in the Prince of Persia series where Altair can run, jump, climb, shimmy, although surprisingly enough one thing he can't appear to do is crouch! The style of the game works also by Desmond and Altair's memories synchronise with one another and Altair has a health bar, which when he is killed, Desmond memory will desynchronise with Altairs and the memory will be reloaded to a previous point As Altair also carries out the assassinations his health bar increases and he receives a piece of his equipment back each time, e.g. swords, knives or armour and learns new moves and attacks, which you can practise in the game before moving onto a mission. In the game Altair when moving about the different lcoations in the game he must always be way of soldiers, guards and other people as there is a status bar which goes yellow or red when Altair is in danger of being rumbled for his actions. When this happens Altair has to try and give his foes the slip by hiding in a haystack, or garden rooftop or sitting on a bench next to citizens. Altair in the game also has what is called Eagle vision which he can use to determine which characters are an enemy (red), ally (blue) or an assassination target (gold).
During gameplay Altair can also climb up to view points throughout the game's locations which will allow him to scan the surrounding area for new points of interest to discover, which can be quite important to the game as in most instances it allows Altair to complete his investigations for preparing to kill one of his targets. Altair was he begins his investigations can obtain information in different ways such as eavesdropping on conversations of particular characters, pickpocketing, interrogating or carrying out tasks for informers who will provide Altair with further information. Altair can also carry out stealth kills on his foes by using his concealed blade or he can engage in battle with several enemies at once by using his sword or knives where he locks on a specific enemy and he can block attacks and carry out killing moves while in combat.
Visuals wise, Assassin's creed is simply stunning and a feast for the eyes (so to speak!) as its graphics are rich, varied and detailed. Altair throughout the game moves between the headquarters of the Brotherhood in Masyaf as well as three cities, Jerusalem, Damascus and Acre. In the cities Altair can freely roam around the cities either on the ground or over the rooftops of houses, buildings and castles. When Altair climbs up to a view point and performs a synchronisation it creates a visually impressive 360 degree vista shot of the surrounding landscape which is very impressive effect before Altair performs his leap of faith as he dives from the view point into a haystack below. Character model wise the characters are all pretty impressive for their time although they aren't lifelike by any means. The game also features a great music score by Jesper Kyd, which is dramatic, rich and atmospheric sounding, all from the man who could rightly be called the John Williams of video game composers because his scores are simply that good! Voice acting wise the cast are also very good with Nolan North as Desmond Miles, Phil Shahbaz are Altair, Kirsten Bell as Lucy, a research assistant at Abstergo industries, Phil Proctor as Warren Vidic, the leader of the Animus project and Peter Reneday as Al Mualim, all providing excellent performances in their roles.
As for the game's flaws........ well yep OK Assassin's creed is far from perfect and the game's most annoying flaws is that it is actually very repetitive in its gameplay. Each mission takes on the same format as Altair has to travel a long way to get to where he is going and as it happens in each mission it quickly becomes a bit of a chore (and a bore!) particularly for the first three missions. The missions also pretty much take on the same format once Altair arrives at the location of where his target is at and he has to spend alot of time try to scan for new locations for his investigations and then obtain the information and after he does he has to keep travelling back to the Assassin beareau where he has to meet with the beareau leader there, which quickly comes quite tiresome. The game also features some annoying moments such as Altair being pestered by women in the market areas begging for money or in other cases a deranged citizens who keep trying to push Altair and knock him over, both of which are a real pain in the ass, especially when you are trying to escape from guards. I also felt some of the game's combat moves are a bit tricky to pull off properly and during battles and in the end I just resorted to frantically hitting the "X" button on my Xbox 360 controller, which to be fair delivered the desired effect!
Some of the game's sequences involving Desmond can also be a bit tedious where Vidic, the project leader of the Animus tells him about the vision of Abstergo industries and why Desmond is there. It also certainly doesn't make for a fun time for Desmond to lie down on a device and imagine killing people before taking a rest in his room for a bit then go back to do some more! Another slightly annoying issue is that when Altair is ready to carry out his assassination and you go to the location and it saves it in the game, when you reload the game it takes it back to the assassin's bureau which means you have to trek to the location of the assassination again! Also as the missions carry on your contact at the bureau may tell you roughly where to go looking for clues but this can also be a pain as it can be hard to pinpoint where you need to be to find where you want to go and in the end it takes a bit of guess work since the locations don't always show up on the game's in menu map! And last of all let's face it, as far as playable characters go, Altair is a bit of an arrogant twat as he quite often defies his master as well as insults and looks down upon others so even though he is somewhat fun to control as a game character, he is still quite annoying on a personal level and no doubt I'm sure most people would like to give him a slap (although they might not live to see another day afterwards!).
However all that put to the side, Assassin's Creed is still an enjoyable if at times repetitive game which did kick off a very successful game franchise and as such it is still very much worth playing for its gameplay, stunning visuals, good voice acting and its superb music score.
And with that I shall desynchronise for the night!
Tuesday 7 October 2014
Dogma "The buddy Christ!"
OK so after the intensive listings of the doom and dispair and the hope of The Smashing Pumpkins best songs I thought I would do a post on a comedy film, so this one will be on Kevin Smith's comedy film, Dogma, starring Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and Linda Fiorentino alongside the comedy duo of Jay and Silent Bob, i.e. Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith. So with that let's give this one a look...
So the film begins with a homeless man being beaten outside a skee ball arcade in New Jersey, by a young group of teenagers with hockey sticks and as a result he is put in a coma. Meanwhile two fallen angels, Bartleby (Ben Affleck) and Loki (Matt Damon) who have been exiled to Wisconsin by God after Loki was persuaded by Bartleby to resign his position as the angel of death, find out that a church in Red Bank, New Jersey plans to celebrate its centennial with plenary indulgence. This would effect allow Bartleby and Loki to pass through the doors of the church, which would absolve their sins and let them go to heaven. However neither of them are aware that by doing this it will reverse God's decreee and ultimatley also destroy all of existence. Elsewhere, Bethany Sloane, an abortion clinic worker who is a catholic who has lost her faith in God, receives a strange visitation from the angel-winged figure named the Metatron (Alan Rickman) who is the voice of God. The Metatron tasks Bethany with the mission of stopping Bartleby and Loki from the passing through the gates of the church, but Bethany initially refuses as she lost her faith in God after her husband left her because she was unable to have children.
Later on Bethany is attacked by the three teenagers, who in fact are actually Stygian triplets (reference to the Styx) but she is rescued by Jay and Silent Bob (Mewes and Smith) who beat up the triplets who scarper. Bethany realises that Jay and Silent Bob are in fact the two "prophets" that the Metatron spoke of to her who were sent to help her. However its far from plain sailing between them as Bethnay repeatedly tries to fend off Jay's crude sexual advances but along the way they meet up with Rufus (Chris Rock) who was the thirteenth apostle, who was apparently written out of the bible as well as the Muse (Salma Hyek) who helps Bethany as well. To make matters worse the Stygian triplet's leader, Azrael (Jason Lee) is a rogue demon who was once a muse himself, but instead he helps Bartleby and Loki in their efforts to reach the church but also explains to them the dangers involved. And from here its up to Bethany and the others to try and stop the two angels from reaching the church and undoing all of existence.
It has to be said that Dogma is one of Kevin Smith's most entertaining comedy films as well as the most controversial given the subject matter of the Catholic church and Smith's take on it, which caused much uproar with protests in many different countries, which contributed towards it delayed release and Smith himself even apparently had received death threats. But the film itself is also really well written, funny, intelligent and even at times quite charming as well and at the start of the film Smith puts up a funny disclaimer about the film and goes as far as to say "But even God must have a sense humour right? I mean just look at the platypus!". And it has to be the first comedy film to have caused such an uproar on the subject of religion since Monty Python's Life of Brian but throughout I think Smith cleverly satrises the notions of religion by updating the traditional presentation of Jesus and instead replaces it with the "Buddy Christ" where the Cardinal in the film reveals a statue of Jesus with a big grin and a thumbs up! But the film also cleverly deals with the themes of religious faith and belief and its main character Bethany is first shown to be a woman who has lost her faith in God, as well as depicting the indignant feelings of the fallen angels in Bartleby and Loki.
As for the performances well Dogma is really good and it features a fine cast, starting with Linda Fiorentino who is excellent in her role as Bethany, a woman who has become disillusioned by her faith in God but is all of sudden presented with the task to stop the two fallen angels in Bartleby and Loki. Fiorentino however according to Smith was never the easiest person to work with and she reportedly said that she felt she was an outsider to the group in the cast. Regardless of that though Fiorentino does have some good moments in the film such as the scene where she reluctantly teams up with Jay and Silent Bob. And Jay drives her car but he clearly hasn't a clue to how to put it into gear and ends up writing it off, and Jay says to her "dude she's never gonna fuck us now!" and Bethany turns round and screams "NODOBY IS FUCKING ME! YOU GOT THAT!!". And when Bethany first meets Rufus, who falls naked from the sky, but Silent Bob gives Rufus his coat to wear, Bethany insists to know where he came from. "Wait a second between guys with wings, guys falling out of the sky, and guys trying like hell to fuck me, I think I've been pretty patient so far, and I'm not taking another step into you tell me where the hell you came from!". Fiorentino also has another good moment where she finally get's Rufus to tell her what God wants with her and he tells her she is the many times removed great grand niece of Jesus Christ and Bethany runs off saying "This is bullshit!". And she runs through a lake screaming at the sky "I fucking hate you! What do you want from me???!" before the Metatron finally arrives to comfort her.
Ben Affleck is also really good in the film as Bartleby, one of the fallen angels, who persuaded his good friend, Loki, to quit his job as the angel of death. Affleck has quite a few good highlights in the film which include the scene where Bartley and Loki go to the HQ office behind the production of a well known cartoon and pass judgement on the board members. And Bartley says "You are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the first commandment. Not only that, I'm afraid not a one of you passes for a decent human being!" and he carries on revealing the members sordid deeds before Loki unleashes justice by shooting them all! Another good scene is where Bartleby tells of Loki for teasing a nun about her lifestyle and Bartley says to him "You know, here's what I don't get about you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You've been in his presence. He's spoken to you personally. Yet I just heard you claim to be an athiest!". Another good scene from Affleck is probably his best moment where after Bartleby and Loki are thrown off a train by Silent Bob and Bartleby suddenly sees things in a different light and begins to feel indignant towards God. And Affleck says "The humans have besmirched everything bestowed on them. They were given paradise, they threw it away. They were given this planet, they destroyed it! And in spite of it all he has shown them infinite fucking patience at every turn! What about us? I asked you... once to lay down your sword because I felt sorry them. What was the result? Our expulsion from paradise! Where was his infinite fucking patience then?! Its not right! ITS NOT FAIR!".
Matt Damon is also good in his part as Loki, the mischievious angel, who was once an angel of death, but now banished to Wisconsin. Damon has some fun with his character throughout and he has some funny moments, such as the scene where onboard a bus, Loki spots a couple kissing, but Loki knows the man involved is being unfaithful to his wife, and he asks the man point blank if he is married to the woman and he says "what do you think?!" and Loki takes out his gun and shoots them both! After the bus stops and the passengers and driver flee, Loki and Bartleby calmly get off and Loki grins saying "Say it! Who's house? Run's house! I said who's house! Run's house!". Also there is the scene where Bartleby and Loki arrive at the board meeting and Loki terrorises the members and the head board member, Mr Whitland, and he has a voodoo which he flattens. And Loki laughs saying "I don't believe in voodoo!" and he walks out and a moment later storms back in with his gun and says "But I do believe in this!". And later on after Bartleby and Loki are thrown off the train by Silent Bob, Loki realises that Bartleby has flipped and says "I heard a rant like this before. You sound like the morning star! You sound like Lucifier, man, you've fucking lost it! You're not talking about going home, you are talking about war on God, well fuck that! I have seen what happens to the proud when they take on the throne!". And in the same scene Damon get's his best line where he says to Loki "But what about the humans? And those two guys, Jay and Silent Bob they are alright!". And later on during the street massacre when Bartleby goes nuts and kills people, Loki drunkenly stands around, swigging a bottle, with his wings cut off, he says "This is just eons of repression being purged. If only they'd let us jerk off!".
Now for Jay and Silent Bob! Starting with Jason Mewes who is at times hilarious in the film as the foul mouthed, horny drug dealer, Jay who can't stop yapping on about sex but nonetheless plays his part in helping out in the crisis. Mewes has various funny moments such as in his first scene where Jay says to Bethany why they are there and he says "We figured an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck!". Also there is the scene where Jay wrecks Bethany's car and she walks out on them and Jay yells after her "Guys like us just don't fall out of the fucking sky, you know!" then all of a sudden Rufus falls out of the sky! And Jay looks back up hopefully and yells "Beautiful, big-titted, naked women don't just fall out of the sky, you know!". Also there is the scene where Jay and Silent Bob go and chat with Bethany on their first meeting and he says to her "So do you do anal? Is it true that chicks fart when you blast them in the ass?!" and Bethany wearily says "No sex" and Jay says "I'll take head!". And later on as Jay repeatedly makes advances to Bethany he asks her "OK what if it was five minutes till the end of the world, would you fuck me then?" and Bethany says "In that unlikley incident, sure". And near the end of the film as the others struggle to stop and Bartleby and Loki from entering the church, Bethany and Jay duck for cover and he starts taking off his trackie bottoms and she asks what he's doing "The world's gonna end and you said you were gonna fuck me!". And as Jay tries to make one last advance he inadvertently gives Bethany an idea that could help them, regarding the man in the coma from the start of the film, and she kisses him realising, the man is the key to it all and she kisses him, and Jay says "That's what I'm talking about!" and kisses her back! Another funny moment is where Jay makes the mistake of asking Rufus to tell him something he knows about him and Rufus says "You masturbate more than anybody on the planet!" and Jay says "Yeah fuck, everybody knows that! Tell me something nobody knows!" and Rufus says "When you do it, you're thinking about guys!" and Silent Bob looks shocked and Jay sheepishly says "Dude not all of the time!". But later he backs up the gag when Jay nods off and Bob hits him and Jay says "I didn't come in you, Pete, I swear!".
Alan Rickman is also great in his role as the voice of God, the Metatron, who first arrives in Bethany's bedroom and she sprays him with a fire extinguisher. And afterward Bethany demands "Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing here?!" and the Metatron says "I'm pissed off is what I am! Do you spray everyone you meet with flame retardant chemicals?! Its no wonder youre single!". And Bethany pleads with him "just don't rape me" and the Metatron says "Oh please I couldn't rape you even if I wanted to! Angels are ill-equipped!" and he opens his trousers and shows her he has no genitals "I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll!". And later on Bethany asks the Metatron what God is like and he says "Funny but lonely. He's got a great sense of humour. Take sex for example. There's nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus!" and Bethany asks "Sex is a joke in heaven?" and the Metraton replies "The way I understand it, its mostly a joke down here, too!".
Chris Tucker is also good in his role as Rufus, the 13th apostle, written out of the bible and Tucker provides the film with some of his own snappy delivery. Tucker's best line however probably comes in his first scene where Bethany asks him if he knew Jesus and Rufus says "Know him? Nigger owes me ten bucks!". And Tucker also get's another funny moment where he reveals that Jesus was in fact black, and he says "A black man can steal your car stereo, but he can't be your saviour!". Tucker also has fun with the idea of being the apostle back in the days and he says "In three years I followed his ass around Jerusalem, did I ever get laid?! Hell no! And I was in my prime, and I could have been knee deep in shepherds daughters!". Salma Hayek has some fun in her part as the Muse (and she wears a pretty tight outfit as well!) who was an inspiration for humanity and she says at one point "I was responsible for 19 of the top 20 grossing films of all time. Apart form that one about the kid at home, without his parents, burglars try to get in and he fights them off? I had nothing to do with that one. Someone sold their soul to Satan to get the grosses up on that piece of shit!".
And lastly Jason Lee is also good in his role as the villainous Azrael, who plans to let Bartleby and Loki get back to heaven so existence can end. Lee who even has some small horns on his head, relishes some of his lines, and his best moment comes when in the bar where he asks the bartender for a "holy bartender" and he ends up riddling him with bullets. And Jay get's the joke laughing saying "Holy bartender! I get it! Its a good one!". And last of all George Carlin provides a nice little performance as Cardinal Glick and he unveils the statue of the Buddy christ and says to the press "Now that's not a sanctioned term, its just something we've been kicking around the office, look at it. Doesn't it pop? Buddy Christ!". And last last of all Alan Morrissette provides a strangely charming cameo as God herself, and plays her as a chirpy but silent deity, who when in the film Bethany asks her the often asked question "why are we here?", God simply honks her nose and smiles. Of course God is silent in the film because her voice is said to be so powerful it would cause anyone's chest to cave in and their head to explode!
Finally moving onto Kevin Smith who does a fine job with the film and it looks like a fairly well budgeted movie, despite its rather modest $10 million budget, the effects he uses are pretty good, albet in same cases quite disgusting aswell as we see in the Golgothan shit demon scene, which Silent Bob incapacitates by using a spray that get's rid of filthy odours! Smith's script is also alot of fun, with plenty of great (and foul-mouthed) dialogue and he himself provides his usual good turn as Silent Bob and he only has a couple of lines, but the best being on the train when Bob chucks Bartleby and Loki off it and he turns to a passenger and says "No ticket!" as a reference to Indiana Jones. The film's music score by Howard Shore isn't too bad either and again Shore shows that he is rather diverse as a composer as its not immediately recognisible as one of his scores and it suits the film's quasi-dramatic tone pretty well.
As for flaws..... well Dogma certainly isn't quite perfect as it is a pretty silly far fetched caper, but then so what?! But it has to be said that Smith has always had a rather uneven balance of charm and gross-out humour in his films and Dogma has its fare share of crude dialogue, alot of it from Jay. And the idea of the Golgothan shit demon is pretty silly as its just an excuse to literally have a shit in there as a visual gag, but yet in a strange way it does sort of work! Jay also it has to be said even though he is pretty funny as a character, he can also being a rather annoying little dweeb who can't stop thinking with his knob and is more of an accidental hero, or maybe even anti-hero than anything else. But only Kevin Smith can make a movie about religion, politics, beliefs, war, ideologies, sex and make it charming yet also cram it with as he often has said himself "dick and fart jokes!".
Anyway that all aisde Dogma is still one of Kevin Smith's most entertaining and oddly charming films, which broaches its controversial subject in fine style and you will sure to find plenty to laugh at here.
So with that I shall leave you there and bid you all goodnight!
So the film begins with a homeless man being beaten outside a skee ball arcade in New Jersey, by a young group of teenagers with hockey sticks and as a result he is put in a coma. Meanwhile two fallen angels, Bartleby (Ben Affleck) and Loki (Matt Damon) who have been exiled to Wisconsin by God after Loki was persuaded by Bartleby to resign his position as the angel of death, find out that a church in Red Bank, New Jersey plans to celebrate its centennial with plenary indulgence. This would effect allow Bartleby and Loki to pass through the doors of the church, which would absolve their sins and let them go to heaven. However neither of them are aware that by doing this it will reverse God's decreee and ultimatley also destroy all of existence. Elsewhere, Bethany Sloane, an abortion clinic worker who is a catholic who has lost her faith in God, receives a strange visitation from the angel-winged figure named the Metatron (Alan Rickman) who is the voice of God. The Metatron tasks Bethany with the mission of stopping Bartleby and Loki from the passing through the gates of the church, but Bethany initially refuses as she lost her faith in God after her husband left her because she was unable to have children.
Later on Bethany is attacked by the three teenagers, who in fact are actually Stygian triplets (reference to the Styx) but she is rescued by Jay and Silent Bob (Mewes and Smith) who beat up the triplets who scarper. Bethany realises that Jay and Silent Bob are in fact the two "prophets" that the Metatron spoke of to her who were sent to help her. However its far from plain sailing between them as Bethnay repeatedly tries to fend off Jay's crude sexual advances but along the way they meet up with Rufus (Chris Rock) who was the thirteenth apostle, who was apparently written out of the bible as well as the Muse (Salma Hyek) who helps Bethany as well. To make matters worse the Stygian triplet's leader, Azrael (Jason Lee) is a rogue demon who was once a muse himself, but instead he helps Bartleby and Loki in their efforts to reach the church but also explains to them the dangers involved. And from here its up to Bethany and the others to try and stop the two angels from reaching the church and undoing all of existence.
It has to be said that Dogma is one of Kevin Smith's most entertaining comedy films as well as the most controversial given the subject matter of the Catholic church and Smith's take on it, which caused much uproar with protests in many different countries, which contributed towards it delayed release and Smith himself even apparently had received death threats. But the film itself is also really well written, funny, intelligent and even at times quite charming as well and at the start of the film Smith puts up a funny disclaimer about the film and goes as far as to say "But even God must have a sense humour right? I mean just look at the platypus!". And it has to be the first comedy film to have caused such an uproar on the subject of religion since Monty Python's Life of Brian but throughout I think Smith cleverly satrises the notions of religion by updating the traditional presentation of Jesus and instead replaces it with the "Buddy Christ" where the Cardinal in the film reveals a statue of Jesus with a big grin and a thumbs up! But the film also cleverly deals with the themes of religious faith and belief and its main character Bethany is first shown to be a woman who has lost her faith in God, as well as depicting the indignant feelings of the fallen angels in Bartleby and Loki.
As for the performances well Dogma is really good and it features a fine cast, starting with Linda Fiorentino who is excellent in her role as Bethany, a woman who has become disillusioned by her faith in God but is all of sudden presented with the task to stop the two fallen angels in Bartleby and Loki. Fiorentino however according to Smith was never the easiest person to work with and she reportedly said that she felt she was an outsider to the group in the cast. Regardless of that though Fiorentino does have some good moments in the film such as the scene where she reluctantly teams up with Jay and Silent Bob. And Jay drives her car but he clearly hasn't a clue to how to put it into gear and ends up writing it off, and Jay says to her "dude she's never gonna fuck us now!" and Bethany turns round and screams "NODOBY IS FUCKING ME! YOU GOT THAT!!". And when Bethany first meets Rufus, who falls naked from the sky, but Silent Bob gives Rufus his coat to wear, Bethany insists to know where he came from. "Wait a second between guys with wings, guys falling out of the sky, and guys trying like hell to fuck me, I think I've been pretty patient so far, and I'm not taking another step into you tell me where the hell you came from!". Fiorentino also has another good moment where she finally get's Rufus to tell her what God wants with her and he tells her she is the many times removed great grand niece of Jesus Christ and Bethany runs off saying "This is bullshit!". And she runs through a lake screaming at the sky "I fucking hate you! What do you want from me???!" before the Metatron finally arrives to comfort her.
Ben Affleck is also really good in the film as Bartleby, one of the fallen angels, who persuaded his good friend, Loki, to quit his job as the angel of death. Affleck has quite a few good highlights in the film which include the scene where Bartley and Loki go to the HQ office behind the production of a well known cartoon and pass judgement on the board members. And Bartley says "You are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the first commandment. Not only that, I'm afraid not a one of you passes for a decent human being!" and he carries on revealing the members sordid deeds before Loki unleashes justice by shooting them all! Another good scene is where Bartleby tells of Loki for teasing a nun about her lifestyle and Bartley says to him "You know, here's what I don't get about you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You've been in his presence. He's spoken to you personally. Yet I just heard you claim to be an athiest!". Another good scene from Affleck is probably his best moment where after Bartleby and Loki are thrown off a train by Silent Bob and Bartleby suddenly sees things in a different light and begins to feel indignant towards God. And Affleck says "The humans have besmirched everything bestowed on them. They were given paradise, they threw it away. They were given this planet, they destroyed it! And in spite of it all he has shown them infinite fucking patience at every turn! What about us? I asked you... once to lay down your sword because I felt sorry them. What was the result? Our expulsion from paradise! Where was his infinite fucking patience then?! Its not right! ITS NOT FAIR!".
Matt Damon is also good in his part as Loki, the mischievious angel, who was once an angel of death, but now banished to Wisconsin. Damon has some fun with his character throughout and he has some funny moments, such as the scene where onboard a bus, Loki spots a couple kissing, but Loki knows the man involved is being unfaithful to his wife, and he asks the man point blank if he is married to the woman and he says "what do you think?!" and Loki takes out his gun and shoots them both! After the bus stops and the passengers and driver flee, Loki and Bartleby calmly get off and Loki grins saying "Say it! Who's house? Run's house! I said who's house! Run's house!". Also there is the scene where Bartleby and Loki arrive at the board meeting and Loki terrorises the members and the head board member, Mr Whitland, and he has a voodoo which he flattens. And Loki laughs saying "I don't believe in voodoo!" and he walks out and a moment later storms back in with his gun and says "But I do believe in this!". And later on after Bartleby and Loki are thrown off the train by Silent Bob, Loki realises that Bartleby has flipped and says "I heard a rant like this before. You sound like the morning star! You sound like Lucifier, man, you've fucking lost it! You're not talking about going home, you are talking about war on God, well fuck that! I have seen what happens to the proud when they take on the throne!". And in the same scene Damon get's his best line where he says to Loki "But what about the humans? And those two guys, Jay and Silent Bob they are alright!". And later on during the street massacre when Bartleby goes nuts and kills people, Loki drunkenly stands around, swigging a bottle, with his wings cut off, he says "This is just eons of repression being purged. If only they'd let us jerk off!".
Now for Jay and Silent Bob! Starting with Jason Mewes who is at times hilarious in the film as the foul mouthed, horny drug dealer, Jay who can't stop yapping on about sex but nonetheless plays his part in helping out in the crisis. Mewes has various funny moments such as in his first scene where Jay says to Bethany why they are there and he says "We figured an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck!". Also there is the scene where Jay wrecks Bethany's car and she walks out on them and Jay yells after her "Guys like us just don't fall out of the fucking sky, you know!" then all of a sudden Rufus falls out of the sky! And Jay looks back up hopefully and yells "Beautiful, big-titted, naked women don't just fall out of the sky, you know!". Also there is the scene where Jay and Silent Bob go and chat with Bethany on their first meeting and he says to her "So do you do anal? Is it true that chicks fart when you blast them in the ass?!" and Bethany wearily says "No sex" and Jay says "I'll take head!". And later on as Jay repeatedly makes advances to Bethany he asks her "OK what if it was five minutes till the end of the world, would you fuck me then?" and Bethany says "In that unlikley incident, sure". And near the end of the film as the others struggle to stop and Bartleby and Loki from entering the church, Bethany and Jay duck for cover and he starts taking off his trackie bottoms and she asks what he's doing "The world's gonna end and you said you were gonna fuck me!". And as Jay tries to make one last advance he inadvertently gives Bethany an idea that could help them, regarding the man in the coma from the start of the film, and she kisses him realising, the man is the key to it all and she kisses him, and Jay says "That's what I'm talking about!" and kisses her back! Another funny moment is where Jay makes the mistake of asking Rufus to tell him something he knows about him and Rufus says "You masturbate more than anybody on the planet!" and Jay says "Yeah fuck, everybody knows that! Tell me something nobody knows!" and Rufus says "When you do it, you're thinking about guys!" and Silent Bob looks shocked and Jay sheepishly says "Dude not all of the time!". But later he backs up the gag when Jay nods off and Bob hits him and Jay says "I didn't come in you, Pete, I swear!".
Alan Rickman is also great in his role as the voice of God, the Metatron, who first arrives in Bethany's bedroom and she sprays him with a fire extinguisher. And afterward Bethany demands "Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing here?!" and the Metatron says "I'm pissed off is what I am! Do you spray everyone you meet with flame retardant chemicals?! Its no wonder youre single!". And Bethany pleads with him "just don't rape me" and the Metatron says "Oh please I couldn't rape you even if I wanted to! Angels are ill-equipped!" and he opens his trousers and shows her he has no genitals "I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll!". And later on Bethany asks the Metatron what God is like and he says "Funny but lonely. He's got a great sense of humour. Take sex for example. There's nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus!" and Bethany asks "Sex is a joke in heaven?" and the Metraton replies "The way I understand it, its mostly a joke down here, too!".
Chris Tucker is also good in his role as Rufus, the 13th apostle, written out of the bible and Tucker provides the film with some of his own snappy delivery. Tucker's best line however probably comes in his first scene where Bethany asks him if he knew Jesus and Rufus says "Know him? Nigger owes me ten bucks!". And Tucker also get's another funny moment where he reveals that Jesus was in fact black, and he says "A black man can steal your car stereo, but he can't be your saviour!". Tucker also has fun with the idea of being the apostle back in the days and he says "In three years I followed his ass around Jerusalem, did I ever get laid?! Hell no! And I was in my prime, and I could have been knee deep in shepherds daughters!". Salma Hayek has some fun in her part as the Muse (and she wears a pretty tight outfit as well!) who was an inspiration for humanity and she says at one point "I was responsible for 19 of the top 20 grossing films of all time. Apart form that one about the kid at home, without his parents, burglars try to get in and he fights them off? I had nothing to do with that one. Someone sold their soul to Satan to get the grosses up on that piece of shit!".
And lastly Jason Lee is also good in his role as the villainous Azrael, who plans to let Bartleby and Loki get back to heaven so existence can end. Lee who even has some small horns on his head, relishes some of his lines, and his best moment comes when in the bar where he asks the bartender for a "holy bartender" and he ends up riddling him with bullets. And Jay get's the joke laughing saying "Holy bartender! I get it! Its a good one!". And last of all George Carlin provides a nice little performance as Cardinal Glick and he unveils the statue of the Buddy christ and says to the press "Now that's not a sanctioned term, its just something we've been kicking around the office, look at it. Doesn't it pop? Buddy Christ!". And last last of all Alan Morrissette provides a strangely charming cameo as God herself, and plays her as a chirpy but silent deity, who when in the film Bethany asks her the often asked question "why are we here?", God simply honks her nose and smiles. Of course God is silent in the film because her voice is said to be so powerful it would cause anyone's chest to cave in and their head to explode!
Finally moving onto Kevin Smith who does a fine job with the film and it looks like a fairly well budgeted movie, despite its rather modest $10 million budget, the effects he uses are pretty good, albet in same cases quite disgusting aswell as we see in the Golgothan shit demon scene, which Silent Bob incapacitates by using a spray that get's rid of filthy odours! Smith's script is also alot of fun, with plenty of great (and foul-mouthed) dialogue and he himself provides his usual good turn as Silent Bob and he only has a couple of lines, but the best being on the train when Bob chucks Bartleby and Loki off it and he turns to a passenger and says "No ticket!" as a reference to Indiana Jones. The film's music score by Howard Shore isn't too bad either and again Shore shows that he is rather diverse as a composer as its not immediately recognisible as one of his scores and it suits the film's quasi-dramatic tone pretty well.
As for flaws..... well Dogma certainly isn't quite perfect as it is a pretty silly far fetched caper, but then so what?! But it has to be said that Smith has always had a rather uneven balance of charm and gross-out humour in his films and Dogma has its fare share of crude dialogue, alot of it from Jay. And the idea of the Golgothan shit demon is pretty silly as its just an excuse to literally have a shit in there as a visual gag, but yet in a strange way it does sort of work! Jay also it has to be said even though he is pretty funny as a character, he can also being a rather annoying little dweeb who can't stop thinking with his knob and is more of an accidental hero, or maybe even anti-hero than anything else. But only Kevin Smith can make a movie about religion, politics, beliefs, war, ideologies, sex and make it charming yet also cram it with as he often has said himself "dick and fart jokes!".
Anyway that all aisde Dogma is still one of Kevin Smith's most entertaining and oddly charming films, which broaches its controversial subject in fine style and you will sure to find plenty to laugh at here.
So with that I shall leave you there and bid you all goodnight!
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