Soooooo I've been waiting for a while to do this review and now I've got the chance as I've finally seen the film in question and that film is The Room which was written, produced and directed by its star Tommy Wiseau. Yep that's right, panned by the critics as one of the worst films ever made I just had to see it for myself and finally I have.
I've also changed the format of my review slightly by highlighting the sections e.g. for story, performances etc just to make it a bit easier to look at rather than just read all the paragraphs in a oner without any clear headings.
So let's get on the tuxedo and play some football (or in other words let's have a look at the film).
And yep....SPOILERS ARE AHEAD!!
STORY:
Right so a bit about the plot as the story focuses on a successful banker named Johnny (Wiseau) who lives in San Francisco with his fiance Lisa (Juliette Danielle). They appear to have a very passionate and intimate relationship where they often have sex. However Lisa all of sudden appears to have grown discontent in her relationship with Johnny as she tells her mother Claudette (Carolyn Minnott) that she doesn't love Johnny anymore and has grown bored of him. Claudette however tries to convince Lisa that Johnny would make a good husband as well as being in a good steady job he can provide for her. But Lisa decides to ignore Claudette's advice and embarks on having an affair with Johnny's best friend, Mark (Greg Sestero) who at first is reluctant to do the dirty on his good friend but ends up sleeping with her anyway. Meanwhile Johnny one day comes home from work deflated to tell Lisa that he didn't get his promotion and Lisa decides to try and cheer him up by getting him drunk. The next day Lisa tells Claudette a lie that when Johnny got drunk he hit her, which Johnny overhears from upstairs and he then decides to tap his phone so he can hear any phone call Lisa might make.
Johnny goes up on his apartment building roof angry about Lisa's accusation of him hitting her where he talks with Mark who gives off the signal that he is already seeing someone but he doesn't tell Johnny who it is and leaves. After this Johnny's next door neighbour, Denny (Philip Haldiman) also arrives on the roof who admits to being in love with Lisa, but instead of being angry Johnny calmly listens and explains that Lisa loves him also but as a friend and Denny instead decides to propose to his own girlfriend, Elisabeth (whom we never see). Johnny then meets up with his friend Peter (Kyle Voght) who is a pscyhologist and asks him to help with his problems over Lisa but Peter is reluctant to get involved and Mark soon comes around as well to visit, followed by Lisa who eyes Mark who decides to leave shortly after. Peter then confronts Mark on the roof as he realises that Mark is having an affair with Elisabeth which causes Mark to nearly push Peter off the roof but he let's him go and apologises and confesses his affair with Lisa. Peter then warns Mark that Lisa is a sociopath who is incapable of loving someone and that he should stay away from her. And the film culminates with a surprise birthday party for Johnny put on by Lisa including all his friends, which soon leads to the film's dramatic (and muddled!) climax......
THOUGHTS:
It has to be said that The Room truly is a unique film and its a difficult one to review like any other as on one hand it is utterly awful but on the other hand it is quite brilliant and in a way a real work of twisted genius from its director/writer/star Tommy Wiseau. And despite being regarded as one of the worst films ever made it has undeniably gained a cult following since its release and it regularly has had sold out viewings in cinemas in the US, Canada and the UK. The production itself had its problems and Wiseau reportedly had fired numerous actors from the film. Wiseau's grasp on the English also at times made for some of the lines to be comical while in other moments such as the one where Mark tells the story about how a girl he knew was beaten up once for cheating on one of her boyfriends, which Johnny in the film laughs at. And Wiseau was asked by Sestero and his first assistant director to not laugh at this scene which he refused to do. Wiseau also later tried to claim the film was in fact a black comedy but at the time many of the actors involved in the film said it was supposed to have been a serious romantic drama and ultimately Wiseau may have been trying to cover his own tracks by claiming it to be a comedy (which it totally is but a thoroughly unintentional one!).
PERFORMANCES:
Moving onto the performancessssssssssss.....................well I think it would safe to say that for once the performances here are truly a mixed bag to say the least. To start off with its star, Tommy Wiseau the man clearly has little or virtually no acting ability whatsoever as he often delivers his bizarre lines in such a nonchalant, indifferent manner and with that bizzare foreign accent its hard to guage his nationaility as he has often been mysterious about his background, although he said he spent many of his former years in France. So it has to be said as far performances in films go Wiseau's here must rank as one of the all time worst ever. However.... it has to be also said that it must rank as one of the most entertaining performances of all time as well and Wiseau despite his total absence of acting chops delivers his lines in such a comical way it often will have you guffawing at just how awful it sounds.
So it has to be said with all that in mind that Wiseau has actually got some highlights in the film, such as his first scene where Johnny comes home and hands over a present to Lisa and he says "Hi, babe!". And as the present turns out to be a sexy dress, Lisa puts it on and they are interrupted by Denny and as Denny is wowed by how Lisa looks in the dress, Johnny says "Anything for my princess!". Then there is the infamous scene where Johnny angrily talks to himself as he walks up onto the roof entrance of his building and he says in reference to Lisa "I did not hit her! Its bullshit! I did not hit her! I did NOT!" and he glances over and sees Mark and casually says "Oh, hi Mark!" as if nothing was wrong. And in the same scene Johnny also says to Mark that maybe he should find a girlfriend and asks him about one of his former girlfriends, Betty and Mark says "She wasn't that good in a bed and we argued alot of times" and Johnny says in response "That's too bad. Lisa is great whenever I can get it".
Then there is the scene where Johnny confronts Lisa over why she said he hit her and he says to her "I never hit you! Why are you doing this Lisa, why?! You are tearing me apart Lisa!!" in a less than convincing manner! Another classy and hilariously pointless scene comes when Johnny and Mark have coffee in a shop and Mark asks "How was work today?" and Johnny replies "Oh pretty good. We got a new client and the bank will make alot of money" and as Mark tries to find out who the client is Johnny says "I cannot tell you, its confidential" and then he asks Mark out of the blue "Anyway, how is your sex life?". And at that point if I were Mark I would be spitting out my coffee all over the place! Then there is the scene where Johnny dispondently tells Lisa that he didn't get his promotion and he says to her "That son of a bitch told me that I would get it within three months. I save them bundles. They're crazy. I don't think I will ever get it. They betrayed me, they didn't keep their promise, they tricked me, and I don't care anymore". Then there is the scene where Johnny buys some flowers for Lisa in a florists and the women serving him says "Oh, hi Johnny. I didn't realise it was you" and Johnny says "That's me!" and they have a very quick exchange, which ends with the women says "You're my favourite customer" and Johnny quickly walks out the door saying "Thanks. Bye!". Its just another WHAT????? moment as how could she possibly mistake Johnny for anyone else given that he is a strange looking long haired weirdo.
And last of all there is the showdown scene when Johnny confronts Mark over his affair with Lisa and in the scene they first off have a quick spat as Johnny pushes Mark back and Lisa tells them to stop it. And Johnny all of a sudden quickly says "OK! Fight's over everyone! I'm sorry Mark" and then he walks off only later to find Mark and Lisa canoodling with one another in plain view of everyone! And Johnny looks on surprised (or as surprised as Wiseau can!) and says "What are you doing?" and as Mark tries to reason with Johnny he puts his hand on Johnny's shoulder and Johnny bats it off angrily saying "Don't touch me, motherfucker! Get out!". And Johnny continues to rant at Mark "You betrayed me! You're not good. You, you're just a chicken. Chip-chip-chip-chip-cheep-cheep!" doing the most feeble chicken impression ever during a rather dramatic scene (or as dramatic as this film can be). And after this to top it off Johnny "Everybody betrayed me! I fed up with this world!" before going off upstairs to sulk before the film's ending. And in his last scene of the film (SPOILER!!!!) Wiseau as Johnny tells Lisa to get out and trashes the place in the most nonchalant manner possible as he yells "Why Lisa?? WHY???! You bitch!" before dry humping one of Lisa's dresses and ending himself with a gun he had taken from the drug dealer hassling Denny earlier in the film.
Next there is Greg Sestero who it has to be said fairs a bit better overall in his performance as Mark (although it wouldn't be hard to do!) Johnny's good friend who is manipulated and seduced by Lisa. Sestero has some cringing moments as well but also some highlights such as the scene on the rooftop where Mark tells Johnny the story about a girl he once knew "I used to know a girl; she had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it... beat her up so bad she ended up at a hospital on Guerrero Street". And after the story Johnny laughs out loud and says "That's quite a story, Mark!" and Mark smiles and says "Yeah, you can say that again!" and Mark continues saying "Oh man, I just can't figure women out! Sometimes they're just too smart. Sometimes they're just flat-out stupid. Other times they're just evil!". Another noteworthy scene is when Mark is first seduced by Lisa and he is rather slow on the uptake as she moves over to him and caresses him and he finally says "I mean, the candles, the music, the sexy dress... I mean, what's going on here?" (come on take a hint, Mark!). Then there is the scene where Peter, the psychologist and friend to Johnny, confronts Mark on the rooftop and Mark very nearly pushes Peter off the roof but let's him go and feebly says "I'm sorry" as if nothing happened. And in the scene Mark confesses to Peter "Well, you are right. It's Lisa. I don't know what to do, man. I'm sort of pressed. It's HER fault. She's such a manipulative BITCH!". And lastly there is the scene when Mark and Lisa kiss at the party with everyone else outside, one of the guests comes back in and catches them in the act and Mark angrily says to the guy "You don't understand anything, man. Leave your STUPID comments in your pocket!". Also Greg has the honour of asking the one question that must be on everyone's mind in the film in the scene where Mark confronts Johnny about his affair with Lisa and he says to Johnny "Leave her alone. She doesn't want to talk to you". And Johnny angrily pushes Mark saying "Since when do you give me orders?!" and Mark says "Since Lisa changed her mind about you! Wake up man, what planet are you on???!". Indeed.
Then we have Juliette Danielle who is arguably and ironically probably the best perfomer in the film as Lisa, Johnny's two-timing and manipulative girlfriend as she is the only that appears to be emote properly. Danielle has some good albeit cringeworthy moments herself such as the scene where Lisa first seduces Mark and she says to him "I like you very much, loverboy". Then there is the scene where Lisa get's drunk with Johnny after he comes home letdown because he didn't get the promotion. And Lisa says to Johnny "Do you want me to order pizza?" and Johnny says "Whatever. I don't care." and Lisa says "I already ordered a pizza" and Johnny laughs says "You think about everthing!". Then there is the scene where Lisa meets with her friend Michelle and tells her of her affair with Mark and she says "You know, I really loved Johnny at first. Everything’s changed. I need more from life than what Johnny can give me. Suddenly my eyes are wide open and I can see everything so clearly. I want it all". And as Michelle asks "You think you can get it all from Mark?" Lisa cooly replies "If he can't give me what I want, somebody else will". Then there is the scene where Lisa tells Michelle that her announcement that she is having a baby is a lie "There is no baby. I told him that to make it interesting. We’re probably going to have a baby eventually anyway". And last of all as Lisa finds Johnny has shot himself and lies dead, she sobs and Mark examines Johnny and she asks tearfully the stupidest question "Is he dead?!". Say no more.
And lastly I will mention two more cast members, first off there is Philip Haldiman as Denny, the rather creepy and overly chirpy youth who lives next door to Johnny and Mark and clearly has a thing for Lisa. Halidman has some amusing moments as well such as his first scene where Denny butts in on Johnny and Lisa's sexy time as the two of them go upstairs for some action, Denny takes it upon himself to follow them up and get involved! And as Johnny asks him "Denny, haven't you got something to do?" and Denny says "I just like watching you guys!" and Johnny finally drops the hint "Yeah but two's company and three's a crowd" and Denny finally relents and says "I get it. You wan't to be left alone. I've got some homework to do anyway. See you two lovebirds later". Then there is the cringeworthy scene where Denny later turns up at Johnny and Lisa's apartment and Lisa opens the door and Denny says to her "You look beautiful today. Can I kiss you?" and Lisa smiles saying "You are such a brat!" and Denny backpedals saying "I'm only kidding!" but of course he isn't as he is madly in love with her! And then there is the scene where Denny confesses his love for Lisa to Johnny "I gotta tell you something. It's about Lisa. She's beautiful. She looks great in her red dress. I think I'm in love with her". And as Johnny rationalises Denny's feelings most likely to be just a crush and that Lisa loves him too as a friend and finally that Denny should persue his relationship further with his existing girlfriend instead, Denny simply puts it into perspective and says to Johnny "Awesome. Thanks, Johnny!". Yep that simple.
And last of all there is Carolyn Minnott as Lisa's mother Claudette who is very a much practical person and wants to see Lisa marry Johnny primarily because he has a good secure job which guarantee their financial future. And Minnott has one inexplicable scene where Claudette tells Lisa that she has breast cancer, which her daughter almost totally dismisses "Everything goes wrong all at once. Nobody wants to help me. And I'm dying". And Lisa says "You're not dying mom" and Claudette insists "I got the results back - I definitely have breast cancer!" and Lisa says "You're gonna be fine mom". Yeah OK that's good to know! And then there is the scene where Lisa and Claudette walk in on her friend Michelle and her partner Mike having sex and later on after they go, Denny appears which prompts Claudette to ask one of the film's very rare legitimate questions "How many people come in and out of this apartment every day? This is worse than Grand Central Station!".
DIRECTION AND MUSIC
I would say something about Tommy Wiseau's direction but it would be a bit of a laugh to do so and it would be more accurate to say the film has an inherent and fundamental lack of direction! And then there is the film's music score by Mladen Milicevic which is pretty bland overall and doesn't make much impact on the story (or what story there is).
FLAWS
Which brings me onto the film's flaws........................and yes this is a pretty stupid question but I will ask it: does The Room have any???? Yup! OK this is going to be quite a big section!
For starters it has to be said that the film's plot is a total mess and it is riddled with inconsistencies as well as subplots which are never followed up. And as a first example there is the scene where Claudette tells Lisa that she has breast cancer and Lisa nonchalantly dismisses the idea and not only that it is never mentioned again in the entire film! Another arrives in the form of Denny being attacked by the drug dealer he owes money to who holds him at gunpoint only for the dealer to be restrained and taken away to the police station by Johnny and Mark. And in the scene Johnny and Mark appear probably on two minutes later, which when you think about it is pretty quick as they must have found a cop on the street or something and Denny naively assumes the dealer will already be under arrest and well on his way to jail and again this is never followed up later. Then there is the inclusion of the couple Michelle and Mike who inexplicably appear out of nowhere and sneak into Johnny and Lisa's apartment to have sex, which is complete with some utterly cringe inducing sharing of chocolate while kissing and Mike given a ridiculous cross-eyed expression as Michelle moves down to give him a blow job! And at this point you have to ask?? Who the hell are these two??? And did they have a key to the apartment? And if they did how did they get it? Did Lisa borrow it to them or did they make a copy of it? Or did Lisa simply leave the door unlocked for them to go and help themselves???! Or did they use a lockpick to break in????
It has also to be said that Mark's affair with Lisa must be the most one-sided not to mention amnesiac -esque affair of all time in cinema as he appears to almost forget they had sex before every time they meet up! And each time Mark is reluctant to carry on by saying "I don't want to do this" and "But Johnny is my best friend" but he gives in and shags her anyway! And Mark clearly never really has any real feelings for her as this is shown in the scene where after the Denny is attacked by the drug dealer on the roof with Mark and Lisa both present, Lisa calls up Mark and says to her "I miss you" and he says "What do you mean? I just saw you!". In the end Mark nearly relents and starts to show feelings for Lisa but it is soon stopped dead later by Johnny's untimely (or timely depending on your point of view) death.
And another problem is with the sex scenes themselves which are not only far too long and drawn out, they also feature some really crap love songs as well, which are worth fast forwarding! And Wiseau's sex scenes with Danielle are particularly cringeworthy as Johnny insists on stroking Lisa's skin with a rose and his genitalia appears to be connecting with Lisa's belly button instead of her vagina! So not only can the guy not direct or act he can't even figure out how to have sex on screen either! Greg on the other hand in stark contrast seems to have a better handle on performing onscreen sex as at least he appears to get his body in the right place!
And further to the inconsistencies I've also mentioned there are further ones and one of the biggest comes during the scene where Lisa talks to Claudette and Claudette says that Lisa has been with Johnny five years. Now later on in the film during the scene when Lisa argues with Johnny he clearly states that it was seven years and not five as he yells "Seven years of my life I gave you!". So where did the other two years disappear to earlier in the film????? Wiseau can't even keep track on his own continuity! (well I guess we all knew that). Also in that scene Johnny's final proof of Lisa's affair with Mark is when he plays back the tape recording of her conversation with Mark and ONLY then he accepts it happened and then tells her to get out! I mean he's already had the proof shoved in his face when Mark and Lisa were canoodling with one another right in front of him in the previous scene at the party! Plus earlier in the film Johnny said he will record everything on tape whenever the phone rings after overhearing Lisa's conversation with Claudette and we see him place a tape recorder in the shelf below the phone. And from this we are to guess that presumably a 90 minute tape can record days or even weeks of telephone calls! Plus unless the tape recorder has a reverse mechanism (and some do of course) Johnny would need to change sides of the tape before he could record again. Yep it makes total sense once again.
And one of the film's most notable inconsistencies comes in the scene where Mark, Johnny, Peter and Denny all wear their tuxes for some unknown reason. And in the scene when they all congregate at Johnny's apartment, Mark arrives with his beard shaven off and they all go out and play football in their tuxes but at no point does any of this have any bearing on the plot and its never explained just why they are wearing the tuxedos in the first place! Denny hints that it may be to do with Johnny's wedding photos so perhaps they were doing some sort of dress rehearsal although God knows why?? And again Wiseau was heavily criticised for the scene due to its complete lack of relevance to the story.
Also it seems pretty strange that Lisa would be so unhappy in her relationship with Johnny as in the film's opening scene where she has sex with Johnny, the next morning she looks very happy and content lying in her bed after Johnny heads off to work which suggests she did have a really nice time. And in the next scene Lisa instead comes over all morose when she speaks with her mother and she says that she doesn't love Johnny anymore because he is boring and she later even lies about him hitting her. And its bizarre how her character can suddenly make such a dramatic shift in her body language from being very happy to being pretty miserable and surely would have made more sense for after Johnny left to go to work to show Lisa sigh sadly or looked unhappy which would lead you into the next scene with her mother more convincingly, but nah its too sensible for Wiseau! Although Lisa did look pretty bored when she was lying awake during the night watching Johnny sleep right enough. Also Lisa one minute bad mouths Johnny for allegedly hitting her and next minute she praises him for how he had taken in Denny and treated him like a son. So hang on, on one hand he's allegedly guilty of domestic abuse but on the other he's really a wonderful father figure??? Come on, at least try and be consistent!
The film's title in itself it has to be said is bit vague as well as what exactly is the specific room the title refers to? Is it Johnny and Lisa's living room? Or is it their bedroom?? Because if you look at it that way, Mark and Lisa both have sex in the upstairs bedroom and downstair living room. So in that case you could really argue that the title should instead be The Rooms as opposed to just one room where all the shagging went on, when in fact they did it in two rooms. In fact the characters seem to spend a fair bit of time up on the rooftop of Johnny's apartment in the film as well so they might as well have called the film The Roof instead! In fact while I'm on the subject its funny how the characters all seem to neatly congregate on the roof during the scene where Denny is attacked by the drug dealer. Its like they were keeping an eye on him and turned up just when things took a turn for the worse (as you do of course!).
So that's it for the flaws, so quite a big section!
CONCLUSION
And that's it for my look at The Room, which remains something of a puzzle, its clearly a shoddily acted film with terrible writing and awfully inconsistent direction by its star. Yet somehow it is strangely enjoyable and it really is worth watching despite how cringeworthy it can be and when you see it, its no wonder they call it "The Citizen Kane of bad movies" because while it is awful its brilliantly awful at that.
So to sum up for anyone who is curious to see the Room I definitely suggest you give it a go and as a piece of serious drama its a joke, but as an unintentional black comedy its hilarious and priceless entertainment and it has to be seen to be believed.
And with that I shall say goodnight.
Cheep-cheep-cheep!
P.S. This has easily been one of the most enjoyable reviews I've ever done!
No comments:
Post a Comment