OK guess what? Go on guess? Give up? OK its time for another review (right that's enough of that!). This one is another comedy, well a crime comedy which is Snatch, directed by Guy Ritchie, as a follow up to his debut Lock, stock, and two smoking barrels. And with that let's look at the plot and the usual......
So.... the story set is in London and the two main characters, are boxing promoter and slot machine shop owner, Turkish (Jason Statham) and his partner (in business that is) Tommy (Stephen Graham). Turkish at the start of the film sends Tommy along with the boxer, "Gorgeous" George (Adam Fogerty) to pick up a caravan from a pikey campsite. However when the caravan they are sold falls off its back wheels when being toed off, George get's into a fight with one of the pikey's, Mickey O'Neill (Brad Pitt) who turns out to be a bare knuckle boxer, who ends up knocking out George with one punch, and is left badly injured as a result. Without a fighter for an upcoming fight, Turkish decides to apporach Mickey and ask that he take George's place, to which Mickey agrees. Turkish approaches the gangster, Bricktop (Alan Ford) telling him that Mickey will replace George, but Bricktop insists that Mickey go down in the fourth round. However on the night of the fight, Mickey knocks out his opponent, again with one single punch, which infuriates Bricktop, who later pays a visit to Turkish's shop and steals the money from his safe to make up for the shortfall in the match.
Meanwhile a thief, Franky "Four Fingers" (Benecio Del Toro) having pulled off a heist in Antwerp and stolen a diamond, travels to London and delivers to a diamond dealer, Doug "the head" (Mike Reid) on behalf of an American jeweller, Avi (Dennis Farina). However one of the other robbers in the heist turns out to be the brother of an ex-KGB agent, Boris "the blade" (Rade Serbedjiza) who tells Franky he can buy a gun from Boris, but what he is not aware of is that they both intend to steal the diamond. Boris gives Franky a gun in exchange for a favour as he wants him to place a bet at Bricktop's bookies, but Franky is known to have a serious gambling problem. On hearing this news, Avi travels to London in order to obtain the diamond himself. Boris in the meantime approaches two small time crooks, Vinny (Robbie Gee) and Sol (Lennie James) to rob Franky in order to retrieve the diamond, but the robbery goes wrong and they end up having to abandon it, however their driver Tyrone (Ade) manages to capture Franky. Avi on arriving in London utilises the services of a mercenary, Bullett Tooth Tony (Vinnie Jones) in trying to retrieve the diamond.
Meanwhile Turkish starts to feel pressure from Bricktop to use Mickey again but this time he does want him to go down in the fourth round. Turkish then goes to Mickey and asks him to do the fight, but Mickey, who is out with his friends, hare coursing, asks him to bet on the outcome of the race, if Turkish wins, Mickey will do the fight, but if not then Turkish has to pay for his mum to get a new caravan. Turkish makes the bet, reckoning the hare will "get fucked" but the hare ends up outrunning the two dogs, leaving Turkish in a very awkward position with Bricktop. Bricktop then decides to punish Turkish by smashing up his slot machines and burning Mickey's mum's caravan while she was asleep in it. Mickey realising he has little choice decides to do the fight, and on the night of the fight, the events involving Turkish, Tommy, Mickey, Bricktop, Avi, Vinny and Sol all come to ahead...
As a follow up to his impressive debut, with Snatch, Guy Ritchie produced one of his most enjoyable films, which is filled with plenty of witty cockney banter and funny lines. Ritchie once again delights in showing the seamy, gritty underworld of the East end of London, where we are embroiled in the world of unlicenced boxing, small time crooks, pig feeding gangsters, and two unfortunate small time boxing promoters who amongst it all are just trying to make a living.
Performance wise Snatch is also really good, starting with Jason Statham as Turkish, who while he isn't the greatest actor in the world, and has little in the way of range as an actor, he does well with playing the sarcastic and world weary promoter who provides the narration for the film. Statham like pretty much all the cast has plenty of good lines, especially in his scenes with Tommy, one of which is where Tommy reveals he has bought a gun from Boris, and he sees that Tommy wears it in his trousers and Turkish says "what's to stop it blowing your bollocks off every time you sit down!". Also when Bricktop's two henchman come around to visit him, he says to them "What are you doing here? Ran out of pants to sniff?". And when he argues with Tommy at one point who asks him "who the fuck took the jam out of your doughnut?!" and Turkish replies "YOU took the jam out of my fucking doughnut, Tommy! You did!!". I also like the scene where Turkish talks to Tommy about what will happen Mickey doesn't fight or go down in the fourth round as Brick top wants, and Turkish says "I imagine we get murdered before we leave the building, and get fed to the pigs!". And when Tommy pushes as to why he is calm Turkish says "I heard what you said! You show me how to control a wild fucking gypsy and I'll show you how to control and unhinged pig feeding gangster!".
Brad Pitt is excellent as Mickey the Pikey, and he is at times hilarious as the boxer as his Irish accent is almost indecipherable so you can make out what he says most of the time! Pitt has plenty of great lines, especially when he tells Turkish and Tommy that he wants a caravan for his mum, and he tells them in his gutteral tongue what colour scheme she wants for it and he says "she awfully partial to the periwinkle blue! Am I clear boys!" and Turkish says "oh yeah perfectly clear, Mickey!". Also in the scene after his mother's wake he sits in a drunken heap just before his bare knuckle boxing match, and he says "have to take a shite!". And another great scene is when he get's ready to fight Gorgeous George, who keeps hitting him, but George grows tired of it saying he's out of here and Mickey says to George "You're not goin anywhere you big thick lump! You stay till the job's done!" and proceeds to stun George with one punch. And one of the funniest moments in his Brad's performance is what turned out to be an accident where he says to Turkish "I'll tell you what I'll do.." and he nearly steps on one of the dogs and he says "fucker!". Brad also stands out well in the film's one dramatic scene where Bricktop has set fire to Mickey's mum's caravan while she is asleep in it, and Mickey's brothers desparately try to hold him back from making a futile attempt to save her. And of course there is the scene where he introduces Tommy to his mother, and he says to Tommy "d'ya like dags?" and Tommy doesn't get what he means at first, and he says "oh dags! Yeah I like dogs!".
In other performances Alan Ford is great as Bricktop, the sadistic crime boss, who takes pleasure out of as Turkish puts it "placing bets on anything to do with pain" as well as feeding his enemies to the pigs. And this is covered in his first scene where he has two of his men killed for betraying him, and he says to one of his henchmen, Erroll, "feed em to the pigs, Errol!". Another funny aspect of that scene is where two sparring boxers in the background look on in horror as the two men are killed, and Bricktop yells "what the fuck are you two looking at?!". Also later when he speaks to Turkish after they change to using Mickey in the fight, Turkish says they won't back out, and Bricktop says "you bet your bollocks to barndance you ain't backing out!". And at the end of that scene I love it when he says to Turkish and Tommy "you are on very fucking thin ice, my little pedigree chums, and I will be under it when it breaks. Now fuck off!". I also like the scene where he pays a visit to Sol and Vinny, and he tells them about the process of feeding human corpses to pigs, and he later has Sol, Vinny and Tyrone sealed up in body bag, as Sol begs Bricktop to give them time to get the diamond. And Bricktop relents and says "you've got 48 hours, and you can keep that silly fat wanker, as the boys can't lift him!". And when Mickey deliberatel refuses to take a dive in his first boxing match for Turkish, it lands Brick top in trouble with his associates, and one man stops him says "thanks for the tip, Brick top!" and Brick stops him and grabs his throat and says "Listen, you fucking fringe! If I throw a dog a bone, I don't wanna know if it tastes good or not! You stop me when I'm walking again and I'll cut your fucking jacobs off!" (jacobs is cockney for balls!).
In other performances, Dennis Farina is great as Avi, the Jewish American jeweller who arrives in London to get the diamond. Farina get's plenty of great dialogue, especially when he arrives in London and meets Doug the head, who welcomes warmly, and Avi sharply replies with "Shut up and sit down, you big bald fuck!". Also later on when Avi recruits Bullet tooth Tony to retrieve the diamond, Tony says he will try and find out who blagged the bookies, and Avi says "Speak English will you! I mean this is the country that spawned the language and yet no one here seems to fuckin speak it!". Vinnie Jones is also pretty good as the vicious Bullet tooth Tony, who is a fairly intellectual thug, and his first scene is quite funny when he slams someone's head against his car door, and his phone in his car rings and he picks it up and says politely "Bonjour?". Later on Vinny's main funny scene as Tony is where the three crooks Sol, Vinny and Tyrone hold him at gunpoint and he says to Sol "You must be the big dick, and either side of you are your balls! Now dicks have clarity and vision, but they aren't too bright. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, but there ain't no pussy here, just a dose that made you wish were born a woman!". And then Tony goes on to say "and the fact that you have the word "replica" written on the side of your gun, and that I have "desert eagle .50" written on the side of mine, should be enough to precipitate your balls into shrinking along with your presence. Now.... fuck off!". Which they rightly do!
Stephen Graham is also really good as Tommy, Turkish's business partner, who is somewhat naive and foolish at times, but he is also quite headstrong and at one point he even saves Turkish from Bricktop's thugs when they smash up his arcade. Graham also get's some of Guy Ritchie's funny dialogue, such as in the scene where he and Turkish talk about the merit of drinking milk and he says "you shouldn't drink that, its not in synch with evolution!". And in the scene where he saves Turkish from being beaten up by Bricktop's thugs, he points his gun at them and he says "What's the matter? You wanna see if I've got the minerals??". And in the scene where Turkish bets on Mickey's hare coursing outcome, as Turkish reckons the hare "get's fucked" but the hare outruns the dogs, and Tommy's face drops and he says "who's proper fucked now?!". And finally another funny moment is where he goes to confront Boris at the Russian's house for selling him a dud gun and the half crazed Boris turns up, walking towards him, who simply grabs Tommy forcefully by the nuts and pushes him back against the wall!
Which brings me onto Rade Zerbedzija who is really good as Boris the blade, the manipulative sneaky former KGB agent, who is also nicknamed Boris "the bullet dodger" to which Avi asks why to Tony at one point who simply replies "because he dodges bullets, Avi!". Rade has some funny moments, particularly when he is tied up with a bag placed over his head and put in Tony's car, he evenutally get's out and wanders around blind with his hands tie behing his back, he ends getting hit by a car! Also in the scene where he shoots Frankie "Four Fingers" and chops off his arm so he can take the case with diamond and he says to Sol and Vinny "If ever see you again, you MOTHER FUCKERS! Well just look at him!". And when he sells Tommy the dud gun he says to him "the weapons is heavy, heavy is good, if its doesn't work you can always hit them with it". Benecio Del Toro does well with his role as Frankie four fingers, however it is no more than an extended cameo as he doesn't really appear that long in the film. Mike Reid (who was famous for his role as Frank Butcher in Eastenders) does a good job as the Jewish wannabe diamond dealer, Doug the head. And I like the scene where Reid as Doug walks toward the entrance of his store and there some young Jewish boys hanging around, and he asks them what they are doing, and one of them spits and says "its a free country ain't it?" and Doug replies "yeah but it isn't a free shop, is it?! So fuck off!".
And finally I will mention Lennie James and Robbie Gee, who are both fine in their roles as the two small time crooks Sol and Vinny. Their best scene is when they rob Bricktop's bookies and the woman behind the counter tells them all bets are off, as there is no money left, and Sol says "I ain't fucking buying that!" and the woman replies "well that's alright, I ain't fucking selling it either!" and the woman proceeds to use the security alarm which raises a barrier, which lifts up Vinny with it to the ceiling! And when they both try and leave the bookies, the doors is locked from the inside, and they both take their balaclavas off, without realising that they are being recorded on CCTV, and Vinny turns to Sol and says "we're fucked!". Also Ade as the big Tyrone is also good and his scene where he struggles to get out of their getaway car, due to his weight and size is funny. And this prompts a great line from Robbie Gee as Vinny who says "Oi! You said he was supposed to be a getaway driver, well what the fuck can get he get away from?!". Lennie James also has some funny lines, especially in his first scene when he examines a diamond for one a customer and local Yardie, Lincoln (played by the rap artist, Goldie) and he says "Nah its a moissanite. A moissanite is an artificial diamond. Its Mickey mouse mate, its spurious, not genuine, and its worth.... fuck all!".
Direction wise, Guy Ritchie, does a fine job with Snatch, although he does once again utilise some of that rather distracting jittery camerawork in certain scenes, such as the Mickey's boxing fight near the end of the film, and Mickey's wake. But both his writing and direction are overall pretty solid, and I like the way he juxtaposes the scene where Bricktop's men capture Tyrone, and where we see the hare coursing happen at the same time. I also like the quick comedic cuts he uses for Avi travelling from American to London, as we see him get in a cub, quick shot of him on the plane taking a drunk, and a taxi arriving in London. Ritchie also makes good use of diluting the colour in the film, using I presume the digital colour gading method that was used in films such as The Matrix and Fight Club. This helps give the film the perfect visual griminess which is well suited to the atmosphere and setting of the East End London crime underworld.
The film also has a fine soundtrack and there are some really good tracks to be found here, such as Oasis's "Fucking in the bushes" which is used really well during Mickey's climactic boxing match. Other tracks included that are really good include "Ghost Town" by the Specials, Klint's two tracks, "Diamond" and "Where are you?" which are used in the title sequence and Mickey's mother's wake respectively. Bobby Byrd's "Hot Pants (I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming) which is a really good funky track, in the scene which introduces Tony. And finally the Massive attack's powerful "Angel" is used very well in the film's most dramatic scene where Mickey desparately tries to make a futile attempt to save his mum who was burned alive in her caravan.
As for the film's flaws, well you could argue that the film isn't really much of a departure from Lock, Stock and its really more of the same of the East End grimy underworld, and it doesn't really see Ritchie stretch himself yet beyond that world in his filmmaking. Also some of the film's characters feel a bit superflous, such as Doug the head's two daughters who say the same lines such as "yeah, dad, you told us!" which get's a bit grating. And Frankie four fingers as a character is also underused, which in my opinion left Benecio Del Toro without a great deal to do in the film, except perform the diamond heist, go to London, get knocked unconscious, then get shot (by Boris).
But all that aside, Sntach is still my favourite film that Guy Ritchie did, as its well written, funny, and very entertaining.
And after that exhaustive post (which took me about a night and a half!) I will leave it there my old son.
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