Right, so its time for the second part of my Top 10 list of the best Curb Your Enthusiasm scenes (well at least my own personal picks) and this part will see plenty of classics ahead for sure.
So with that said, let's get to it!
5. The Lefty Call (Series 6)
Scene - Leon tells, Larry how to deal with someone the next time he is badmouthed
"Get in that ass, Larry!"
Right, well I had initially put a scene from this very same episode into this list, which is of course the one where Lewis and Larry argue about the frequency of which he visits the bathroom and Larry complains about how he feels like Lewis's girlfriend keeps monitoring him, as she works in the same office as Larry.
However, having had a little re-think I just had to put THIS scene in the list instead as it speaks for itself and its hilarious and its also the first real taste we get of Leon's wisdom when it comes to life in general!
An if you are a Curb fan then you WILL know this scene and it is great of course and its the one where Larry tells Leon how he was accosted by a skinhead when he was at the doctor's office as the skinhead said to him "What the fuck are you looking at, Jew boy?! You fucking faggot!". So, Leon tells Larry firmly "Next time a man calls you a fucking faggot, you get in that ass, Larry. Know what I mean? You get in that ass, Larry. That's what the fuck you do!". Leon then continues to tell Larry "You gotta immediately get in somebody's ass when that happens to you! You pull their asshole open, step into their asshole, close the door behind you, - pick up your spray-paint can, right?!".
Larry stands there absorbing Leon's wisdom and Leon continues "You spray-paint "Larry was here," "Wash me," all that kind of shit, fuck his whole asshole up, eat some Snickers bar, throw some paper on the floor, read a newspaper, ball the paper up, the newspaper, and throw the newspaper on the floor, fuck his whole asshole up, you know what I'm saying? Then you open that asshole one more time open it again, open that asshole again- uhh! Step out of his ass and leave that motherfucker wide open, - so he knows you've been there!".
So, Larry reiterates what Leon has told him and he gives a high five to Leon and Leon tells him "That's how you handle people!". Larry then finishes the scene by saying "I just hope you don't get me killed" and he walks off and Leon says to him "My man!".
Its a great scene and its a real showcase for JB Smoove's comedic talents and he get's some of the most memorable lines from the whole series right in this very episode and that's why its more than deserving of its place in the top 5.
4. The Hot Towel (Series 7)
Scene(s) - Larry stops Sammie during her anniversary gift song to Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen and later on yells at her to shut up while he is trying to sleep.
"You squashed the spirit of a talented young girl!!!"
This next choice on the list is actually really two scenes connected together and is from the 7th series episode, "The Hot Towel" which involves a number of plot points but for the purpose of this post, the main point here is that Larry turns up at Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's anniversary party. And at the party, Jeff and Susie's anniversary gift to Ted and Mary is to have their daughter Sammie her own rendition of "Can't take my eyes off of you". However the only problem with it is that Sammie can't sing to save herself, so Larry decides to intervene to put a stop to it, much to the chagrin of Susie.
So, in the first scene, Susie addresses Ted and Mary and tells them "We didn't know what to get you. You clearly have everything. We're not gonna get you a toaster or a blender, so our incredibly talented daughter Sammi, as our gift to you, is gonna sing a special song!". So, Mary and Ted both appear quite touched by the idea but then Sammie starts to sing and she is awful and Larry quietly turns to the guests next to him and asks "Are you kidding??? Its the worst thing I've ever heard in my life(!)".
So, as Susie get's to the chorus line "I love you, baby...." Larry has had enough and he walks and puts a stop to it and says "All right. Okay. That's good. That's good. That was wonderful!". However, Susie is annoyed and says to him "What are you doing?! She's not done! Why are you interrupting her, Larry?!" and Larry tells her "Song's over!". Susie however angrily insists "No, the song was not over. You know the song was not over - and you cut her off! - I thought the song was over. You ruined the whole gift! That was our gift, for God's sake!!" and she storms off after her daughter. So, Larry says to the crowd "Let's give her a nice round of applause!" and the crowd all give a warm and polite applause for Sammie and Larry sheepishly says to them "That was good! That was good! A talented kid, I tell you!".
Then there is the second scene where in another subplot, Larry is being chased by the boyfriend of an old flame, Mary Jane Porter, whom he is on a date with (however she never told Larry about her boyfriend in the first place!). So, Mary Jane tells Larry that her boyfriend is after him when he found Larry's bandage in the bin of Mary Jane's flat, he wore her down into admitting who she had seen. So, basically, Larry is on the run in this scene and he flees to Jeff and Susie's house where they let him stay the night.
The next morning however as Larry is trying to sleep, we suddenly hear Sammie starting to sing and Larry is in no mood to listen to it as he shouts at her "Jesus! What the fuck?! Shut the fuck up!!!!" and as she continues singing, he shouts even louder "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" which silences Sammie. And as Larry lies back in his bed again, we hear a tearful Sammie shout to Susie "Mom! I was singing and Larry told me to shut the fuck up!" and then we hear Susie yell "HE DID WHAT??!!".
So, in the next moment, Susie barges into the room and pulls Larry out of bed and shouts at him "OUT!!! OUT!!! You ingrate! You hurt Sammi one more time, Larry! Get the fuck out of my house, okay?!". And as Larry anxiously tries to pick up his things to go, Susie shouts in his face "You squashed the spirit of a talented young girl! You piece of shit! You heartless piece of shit!" and she shouts him out the door "OUT!!!!".
So, there its another hilarious moment in the show that shows Larry's selfishness once more but at the same time it also shows he's got the bottle to actually stop someone in their tracks by putting Sammie's dire performance to an end at the anniversary party. However, Ashly Holloway is also great in this scene too as she perfectly nails the part of someone who can't sing and the way in which you she overprounces her "you's" is also great in the opening lines "You're just too good to be truuuu-e!". And the moment where Susie rushes in and berates Larry for telling Sammie to shut up is also great and she delivers one of her funniest lines in "you squashed the spirit of a talented young girl!".
So, these two scenes together is a bit of a cheat to call it one but they are both connected, so I'll count them as one and they both add up to one of the best in the show, so it definitely deserves its spot at No.4.
3. The Reunion (Series 7)
Scene - Larry interrogates a waiter over the tip amount Jason Alexander had left him
"Did that son of a bitch give you a $20 tip??!"
So at No.3 is this scene from the 7th series episode "The Reunion" where Larry finally agrees to do a Seinfeld reunion show after so many years of putting it off, as he sees it as a way for him to possibly get back together with Cheryl, as he meets with her prior to an NBC meeting and tells him she is back acting again. So, Larry get's the idea to write the show with a part in mind for Cheryl in an effort to win her back.
And one of the main points of the episode involves Larry speaking to each cast member of the show to see if they are interested and after meeting with Jerry Seinfield, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, he meets with Jason Alexander for lunch. However after the lunch, Larry tries to co-ordinate the tip between him and Jason and Larry leaves just $12 but Jason refuses to tell Larry what amount he himself has left for the waiter.
So, the following day, Larry has a meeting with the final cast member, Michael Richards at the same restaurant, which has some rather erotic nude pictures hang up on display, which distracts Michael during their meeting and he doesn't really pay much attention to what Larry is saying. So, after the meeting, the same waiter that served him and Jason the other day comes up to Larry and this is where the scene unfolds.
So, as the waiter comes over and asks Larry "How are we doing over here, sir?" Larry cheerfully replies "Doing good! Doing good!" and then he asks the waiter "I have a question I want to ask you. I was sitting here yesterday. Do you mind telling me how much tip the guy I was with left you?". The waiter then becomes awkward and says "Oh, we don't do that, we don't share that information with customers". Larry then casually says "Share information"? Honestly, who gives a crap?! I was in here. I was with a guy. I'm just curious. What did he leave?" and the waiter says "It was a healthy healthy tip" and Larry asks "Was mine a healthy tip?" and the waiter not so convincingly says "Yeah".
Larry then suddenly seems a bit worried and asks the waiter "Was his healthier???" and asks "Let me ask you this question: - Was it over $12? Huh? - Do you want me to refill your water or Just scratch your face with your finger if it was over $12!". The waiter, uncomfortably says "I could really get in trouble with my manager.." but Larry tries to put him at ease and says "Nobody even knows what we're talking about!". Larry then presses the waiter more to reveal the tip "Scratch your face with your finger if it was over $12. Go ahead, just scratch it. Was it over $12?!" and the waiter nervously scratches his face. Larry then aghast says "Oh, For God Sake's! What an asshole!"
Larry then presses the waiter even further and asks "Let me ask you this question: Was it over $15? Just tug on your tie up here.Was it over $15?!" and the waiter nervously says "This is making me real uncomfortable" and Larry says "Nobody's to know anything we're talking about!". So, Larry again asks "Was it over $15?! Tug on your tie!" and the waiter tugs his tie, which prompts even more outrage from Larry, who shouts "Oh...fuck!!".
So, the waiter asks "Is that all I can get you?" and Larry says "No, don't go yet. One second. I have one more question to ask you" and he asks angrily "Did that son of a bitch give you a $20 tip?!" and the waiter confidentially asks Larry "What if it was more?". Larry even more annoyed asks "How much more? Was it over $30? If its over $30, I want you to raise that cup over that pot!". So, the waiter, who is carrying a cup and a coffee pot, politely says to Larry "Okay, I hope you enjoyed your meal and come back soon!" and he before he goes he lifts the cup over the coffee pot, leaving Larry shocked and dumbfounded.
So, this scene might not be in everyone's favourite list but its certainly a very funny scene, especially the way in which Larry's fury mounts as the waiter confidentially tells him that Jason Alexander tipped alot more than him. Its a classic example of Larry's pettiness also and being rather tight with money and Jason's generosity obviously appears to make him resentful of it, which contributes to making this scene that bit funnier.
And for me its a scene that deserves a place on the list and it takes 3rd place.
2. The Rat Dog (Series 6)
Scene - Leon and Larry accidentally switch phones and Leon recieves a call from a friend of Larry's named Hal.
"I'm the president! I'm hitting that ass!".
So in the runner-up spot is this brilliant and hilarious scene involving Leon (JB Smoove) who was introduced in the 6th series and quickly became one of the show's most favourite characters as Leon is the brother of Loretta Black, who's family moved into Larry and Cheryl's house after it was destroyed in a hurricane.
So, the scene is set around Larry and Leon both having the exact same model of mobile phone, which later leads to them taking the wrong phone and that ends up with both of them recieving calls from people they don't know. Larry recieves a call from a financial services company, looking to offer Leon a job but Larry hangs up thinking the guy on the line is trying to sell him something. Leon, on the other hand recieves a call from Hal, who is the husband of a deaf woman, Jean, that Larry inadvertnetly offended earlier in the episode and he left a message to apologise to him.
And the scene starts off with Leon in a cafe, eating some food and he answers his phone and Hal says Hey, its Hal, just returning your call" and Leon loudly says "What up, Hal! What's goin on, boy?!". Hal, thinking he is speaking to Larry, is a little surprised and smiles and says " Oh, nothing, uh, you, uh - are you calling to apologize?". Leon, on the other hand is a little taken aback and says "What? The fuck you talking about, man? Look here, man. Your lady came on to me. I hit that ass and I moved on, dawg. You wasn't in town, dawg! This shit is over, man!". Hal then smiles and plays along with Leon, still thinking its Larry and he says "Oh, okay. Oh, I get it now. You're doing the black-guy character because I'm a black guy, right?". Leon then replies as only he can "Black man doin' his thing, baby. Barack Obama, motherfucker. Barack Obama, "I'm the president, I'm hitting that ass!".
Hal, however is no longer amused and he says"Look, that's not cool, man, all right? Actually, it's kind of offensive. Don't do it, okay?". Leon however continues his roll " Black man's doin' his motherfucking thing in the world, baby. You feel me?!". Hal, now really riled, says to Leon "Don't talk to me like that, okay?! It's offensive! I thought you were calling back to apologize about what you said to my wife!". However, Leon babbles on oblivious "You have your wife back, man. I don't want the bitch no more. I just said I hit it and I quit it, man!". Hal, finally snaps and shouts to Leon "Can't believe you, man. I cannot fucking believe you! Fuck you, Larry!" and he angrily hangs up with Leon still wittering on!
Of course, Leon has his share of great scenes in the show but I had to pick this one as probably my main favourite of his and he get's some priceless lines such as "I'm the president! I'm hitting that ass!". Its also a great scene because it takes the clever idea of Larry and Leon both having the same model of mobile phone and use it to comedic effect with both men recieving calls that were intended for the other. And here, JB Smoove is hilarious the way he runs with the dialogue, which most likely was improvised by him as the show is filled with improvisations.
So, overall it maybe a short scene but its a hilarious one and one of the best from the show.
And, so my No.1 pick of the best scene from Curb Your Enthusiam (well for me anyway) is....
1. The N Word (Series 6)
Larry unintnetionally says the "n" word in hospital just as an African American doctor walks by and all chaos ensues!
"You just used the most VILE WORD in the English language!!".
Yes, at No.1 is actually two scenes put together from what is actually my favourite episode of the whole series, "The N Word" in which Larry get's into some serious hot water when he uses the "N" word in conversation, which leads to all sorts of problems on Larry's homefront and his friendship with Jeff.
So, basically the two scenes are first off, Larry at the hospital, meeting with his date, Dr Flomm and when he goes to the bathroom, he overhears a man on his mobile phone telling someone that he hurt wrist because of a three hundred pound "nigger". Larry, shocked on hearing this racial slur, goes out and relays what the man said to Dr Flomm only he does it just at the wrong time as an African American doctor walks past Larry as he says the dreaded "N" word.
This causes the doctor to become furious at Larry and he storms off and goes into the operation room where Jeff is waiting to get an op done to reduce his snoring and the doctor takes out his frustrations on Jeff's head and he shaves all his hair off! And this leads into the second scene where Jeff and Susie suss out from what the apologetic doctor told them, that it was Larry that said the racial slur, so they go off to confront him!
So, to start with the first scene, Larry comes out of the bathroom in the hospital after overhearing a man say the "N" word. So, Larry, shocked sits down and says to Dr Flomm "Oh my God. You can't believe what I just overheard in the bathroom. What an unbelievable jerk. This guy is on his cell phone, he's talking to his friend, and he's upset and he's complaining. You know, he had to move some furniture and he says to his friend, "I hurt my hand because I had to take the top because of this three hundred pound nigger..."
And right at this point the black doctor walks by and he stops, outraged, he asks Larry angrily "What did you just say???" but before Larry can say anything, the doctor rants loudly "WHAT DID YOU JUST FIX YOUR MOUTH TO SAY???!". And as Larry tries to explain, the doctor rants "YOU JUST USED THE MOST VILE WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!!. Larry still tries to explain but the doctor rants on "How dare in front of me? You are despicable. I can't stand people like you. You bald son of a bitch!!" and he storms off and we still hear him shouting "I have to face this kind of wretched foolishness. This is ridiculous!!". Larry on the other hand, looks dumbfounded and he says to Dr Flomm "Bald????????!".
So, in the next moment, the doctor goes into the op room where he sees Jeff lying unconscious on the operating table and he asks angrily "Why hasn't this patient been prepped?!" and the nurse says "He is prepped, sir". The doctor then steps forward and says "Excuse me, nurse! Clippers please!" and the nurse says "Sir, clippers are not required!" but the doctor says loudly "Do I have to do everything myself?!! I know what I'm doing!! Clippers, please!". So, the doctor takes the clippers and moves in and shaves off Jeff's hair and in the next moment we hear Jeff scream "OH MY GOD!!!! OH MY GOD!!! LOOK AT ME!!!" and we see he is completely bald!
So, this leads into the second scene where Jeff and Susie go round to confront Larry on hearing that the whole incident was down to him using the racial slur. So, Larry opens the door and sees a bald Jeff stand infront of him with an angry Susie and Larry looks on in disbelief as Jeff shouts at him "What the fuck???!! I'm bald!". Susie then shouts at Larry "He had a beautiful full head of hair - I'm bald! a mane that I loved and now he looks like you!" and Larry, confused asks "How did that happen???" and Jeff shouts "YOU did it!". Susie then explains angrily "You traumatized the doctor! He described you! He said, "Bald, glasses" You said some racial slur and you traumatized the doctor - and he came in all flummoxed and SHAVED HIS FUCKING HEAD!!!!".
Larry then refers to what Jeff said earlier to him about how he'd have no problem if he went bald "You said there was nothing wrong with being bald!" and "You said you'd be alright with it!" and Jeff yells back "Yeah, in 40 years! Not fucking today! Not overnight!". Larry then says "Your's is gonna grow back! Mine isn't!" and Jeff spitefully says to him "That's right. You know what? Curse on you! Mine's gonna grow back, yours isn't! You deserve it!".
So, as Jeff and Susie demand an explanation as to what Larry said to the doctor, Larry once again says the "N" word at the wrong moment as Loretta comes out one of the rooms and hears Larry say it and she instantly calls out Larry for it. Loretta then shouts to Leon "Leon!!! Leon!!" and Leon comes out and she tells him "Larry said nigger!" and Leon, disgusted shouts "Get the fuck out of here!" and Loretta shouts to Larry "Is that what you think of us? We're a bunch of niggers up here?!!". Larry hopelessly tries to explain that he was quoting someone not actually saying it and then Loretta's Auntie Rae comes out on hearing the commotion and joins in.
And finally Loretta says to Larry "LD, I told you, you had one more chance! This is the last straw! We out this bitch!" (meaning they are leaving) and Leon repeats "We out this bitch!!". Larry then asks them "Where are you gonna go?" and Susie offers "You can stay with us" and Auntie Rae immediately grateful says "Thank you, baby!" and she flips the bird to Larry and shouts "Fuck you, Larry! With your monkey ass!!". Leon then finishes off the scene with a great line where he points to Susie and says "Like how you do what you do. It's a sexy ass, Susie. Fuck you, Larry! Peace!" and he slams his bedroom door, leaving Larry astonished.
So, yeah it is a bit of a cheat this one given that it is two scenes (or two and a bit if you count the doctor shaving Jeff's head!) but its a perfect example of just how brilliantly Larry David builds up the calamitous situations in his comedy. And by the time, Jeff's head has been shaved and he goes to confront Larry over his baldness, the comedy has reached a perfect pitch and the priceless reactions of Leon and Loretta and Auntie Rae also just add to it all beautifully.
So, for me this is the best scene (or scenes) from Curb Your Enthusiam and it takes the top spot.
SIGN OFF
Right, so that's it for now and I will return again soon with another couple of posts before Christmas comes around.
So, till the next one its bye from me for now!
Peace!
Yeah, well, it's not really working out for me, I gotta tell you. Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=curb-your-enthusiasm&episode=s06e04Yeah, well,
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