Rrrrrrrrrright OK I've got some catching up to on this blog as I've only done two reviews this month already and we are already just over half way into July, which creativity wise on the review front isn't too great.
So to make up for that I'm going to do a review on a film which has in the past not recieved the best critiques over the years and often is considered as one of Arnold Schwarzenegger's worst films and that film is Last Action Hero. So is it really dud??? Well let's take a look....
STORY
Right to begin with my usual look at the story first off which begins with a young boy named Danny Madigan (Austin O'Brien) who is a fan of the action franchise movies involving the character Jack Slater (Arnie) a rogue LAPD cop who isn't afraid of anyone when it comes to taking down bad guys. On the the night before the premier of the new Jack Slater movie: Jack Slater IV, Danny is given the chance to see a private viewing of the film courtesy of his friend, Nick (Robert Prosky) an old man who operates a run down movie theatre in New York city. However Nick tells Danny that his admission ticket is a magic one that was once given to him by Harry Houdini. A few minutes into the film however while Danny sits enjoying it he is unaware that his ticket stub begins to glow during an action scene where bad guy chase Jack and they throw sticks on dynamite at his car. But one of them suddenly flies out of the cinema screen right next Danny who flees and runs towards the cinema screen just before it explodes. Danny soon wakes up in the back of a car, which turns out to be Jack Slater's as it quickly dawns on Danny that he is now in the movie himself. After Jack loses the bad guys, Danny tries to explain to Jack that they are in a movie but Jack dismisses the idea and takes him to the police station where Danny sees some outlandish characters such as cartoon detective named Whiskers (voiced by Danny De Vito).
Afterward Jack and Danny drive along to find the bad guys that were behind the attack on Jack and Danny identifies the house he saw at the beginning of the movie, which belongs to the mob boss Tony Vivaldi (Anthony Quinn). Jack and Danny ring the door bell at the mansion and are greeted by Vivaldi's British henchman, Mr Benedict (Charles Dance) who is know for wearing a variety of different glass eyes who soon turns them away but after they go, Benedict overhears Danny make a reference to a scene he saw earlier in the film. After this Jack and Danny meet with Jack's daughter, Whitney (Bridgette Wilson) but are soon raided by Benedict and his thugs. Benedict has Danny searched and he takes with him the contents of Danny's pockets which includes the half of the magic ticket. Jack then manages to fight off and kill most of Benedict's thugs but Benedict himself manages to escape and later discovers that he could enter the real world using the magic ticket as it creates a portal for him to travel through. Later on Jack and Danny learn that Vivaldi intends to wipe out his enemies during a rooftop funeral for a mob associate by planting nerve gas into the body. Jack however manages with Danny's help to remove the body from the roof using a crane, which Danny operates and dumps the body into a tarpit just before it explodes. Benedict soon after at Vivaldi's mansion, kills Vivaldi but afterward Jack crashes into the mansion in Whitney's truck and he beats up Benedict and throws him through a wall but due to the magic ticket, Benedict is transported into the real world via the portal. Jack suddenly realises that Danny was right all along as they step through the portal themselves and its from here they must find a way to stop Benedict from wreaking havoc in New York....
THOUGHTS
OK I must admit this might be a rather unpopular view but I happen to like Last Action Hero as a film and its mainly because in a way it was ahead of its time by poking fun at the cliches of action movies of its time and in that respect it makes it a fairly shrewd and intelligent film even if it isn't always entirely successful in that area. The film however itself on release was a critical and financial failure as it bombed at the box office and it was alleged that even its director John McTiernan wanted to remove his name from the credits. But despite all that it still has alot of fun moments in it and enjoyable over the top action scenes some of which are quite hilarious because how stupid they are.
PERFORMANCES
So performance wise Last Action Hero is overall not too bad starting with Arnie who as we all know is far from the world's best actor but when it comes to action movies it is his forte and he fairs pretty well in his role as Jack Slater, who is essentially postmodern version of Dirty Harry. Arnie has his share of amusing moments in the film as well as cheesy one-liners such as in the scene at the start of the film while Danny is watching Jack Slater III we see Jack make his dramatic entrance to a crime scene involving his son as he steps over a series of police cars and jumps down and lights a cigar. And in the scene as Jack walks towards the entrance of the building he faces a cop and says to him "Hey, you want to be a farmer? Here's a couple of achers!" and he kicks the cop in the nuts. Then there is the scene where Danny suddenly finds himself in the movie and in the back of Jack's car during an intense action scene and after they evade some bad guys Danny says "I thought I was dead" and Jack says "Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but you're gonna live to enjoy all the glorious fruits life has got to offer - acne, shaving, premature ejaculation... and your first divorce!". And another funny moment comes when Danny who is at schools sits during a lecture on Shakespeare and daydreams about Jack Slater being Hamlet. And we cut to a fantasy scene where Jack dressed in a period costume as Hamlet lights his cigar and says to a man behind him "Hey Claudius, you killed my father" and then he grabs him and says his calling card "Big mistake!!" before throwing the man through a window. And in the next sequence Jack starts fighting and slaying his enemies with a sword and then he is stopped by an old man who says "Stay thy hand, fair prince!" prompting Jack to say "Who said I'm fair?!" and then produces an uzi and shoots him!
Then there is the scene where Jack and Danny question Benedict at Vivaldi's mansion and Benedict threatens that he could have them both killed by his guard dogs by snapping his thumbs and asks if there are any questions. And Jack says "Yeah two of them. Why am I wasting my time with a dimestore putz like you when I could be doing something more dangerous - like rearranging my sock drawers? And two, how exactly are you going to snap your fingers, after I rip off both of your thumbs?!". Another amusing scene from Arnie also comes after Jack is suspended from duty and he and Danny go back to his place and he enters and without warning fires his gun at his closet door and opens to find an assassin fall dead out of it! And Danny asks "how did you know there was a guy in there?" and Jack replies "There's always a guy in there. It costs me a fortune in closet doors!". And another amusing scene is where Jack and Danny are back in the real world they try and find Benedict who has escaped their sights in a taxi and Jack rips open a taxi door only to find its the wrong one and he grabs the taxi driver and says to him " You've seen these movies where they say "Make my day" or "I'm your worst nightmare"? Well, listen to this one: Rubber baby buggie bumpers!" and he turns to Danny saying "Ha! You didn't know I was going to say that, did you?!" leaving Danny perplexed.
Then there is the moment at the premiere for Jack Slater IV where Jack tries to prevent The Ripper (Tom Noonan) from killing Arnold Schwarzenegger only to have Arnie pounce on Jack instead to stop him from shooting the very man who is trying to kill him! And afterward the real Arnie says to Jack "You know you are the best movie lookalike I've ever seen!". And as Arnie tries to persuade Jack into getting roped into celebrity appearances with him Jack stops him and says "I don't really like you, alright? You've brought me nothing but pain!". And last of all there is the scene when up on the rooftops Jack fights against Benedict and he manages to grab his gun and aims it at Benedict's explosive glass eye and says "No sequel for you!" and shoots him, blowing the villain to pieces.
Then we have Austin O'Brien let's face it is an annoying little dweeb in this film and you would probably never tire of slapping him as his character Danny is such a precocious dick. But despite all that O'Brien still has some amusing moments in the film that include the scene where Danny has an idea and writes down a rude word on a piece of paper and asks Jack to say it who says "Kid, grow up!". And as Danny presses Jack to say it, Jack says "Kid. I don't wanna say it!" and Danny then says "I knew it! You can't possibly say it, because this movie is a PG-13!". Then there is the scene where Danny while he is in the movie attempts to play chicken with a car while he rides a bicycle he says to himself "Chicken it is!" but it soon dawns on him that " I'm a comedy sidekick. Oh, shit! I'm a comedy sidekick! IT'S NOT GONNA WORK!" and he proceeds to do an ET cycle over the moon (via ramping over a house) before he crashes. Then there is the scene where Jack sadly reflects on his personal life and how he thinks "I'm going to buy it soon" and Danny says "You can't die till the grosses go down!". And lastly there is the scene where in the real world Jack plays chicken with a taxi that Benedict is in but they arrives to find Benedict has vanished but his butler who was driving the car lies died having crashed through the cab window. And Danny tries to persuade Jack to check the cab closer to ensure they are dead and he says "Yeah but what about the scene in Die Hard, where the guy was hanging by the chains and he comes back!".
Charles Dance performance wise probably fares the best out of the cast here as he plays the part of Benedict pretty well and seems to enjoy playing up as the villain. Dance also has some good scenes in the film that include the scene where Benedict is questioned by Jack at Vivalid's mansion and Benedict threatens him by saying regarding the guard dogs at the mansion "I snap my fingers again and some time tomorrow, you emerge from several canine rector! Or you and Toto can return to the land of Oz". Also there is the scene where Benedict turns up with his thugs at Jack's ex-wife's house where he questions Danny and says to him " I must warn you, I've killed people smarter and younger than you!". Then there is the scene where Benedict finally has had it with his employer and incompetent mob boss Vivaldi who keeps getting expressions wrong such as "Easy as cake" and Benedict keeps correcting him such as earlier where he says to himself "Its pie you Sicilian schmuck!". Anyway regarding the scene Benedict pretends that Vivaldi's plan to wipe out his enemies went perfectly but then he tells him the truth and says "No. I'm lying it was a complete and utter balls up and I've had a terrible day thanks to you!" pointing a gun at Vivaldi. And Vivaldi surprised says "All of a sudden you do a 360 on me!" and Benedict corrects him for the last time "180, you stupid, spaghetti-slurping cretin - *180*! If I did a 360, I'd go completely around and end up back where I started!" just before shooting him! And lastly there is the scene where back in the real world where up on the rooftops Benedict taunts Jack by saying how he will plan to use Danny's magic ticket to lure out all the worst villains from movies. And as Benedict is about to shoot Jack his gun clicks and Jack emerges from hiding saying "Gee! Did you make a movie mistake?! You forgot to reload the damn gun!" and Benedict says "No, Jack. I just left one chamber empty!" and then shoots him and afterward saying "You see, Jack. Bad guys can win!".
As for the supporting cast they are all mostly pretty good such as Frank McRae as Lt Dekker, Jack's boss who is always yelling at and berating Jack. And McRae's most common line in the film is of course "SLATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!" whenever he wants Jack in his office. McRae has some good lines as well such as in the opening scene where he warns Jack not to go in and attempt to rescue his son "The last time you pulled this jive, jitterbug, tough gonad shit - people lost body parts! Now you go in there and its your badge!" and Jack casually tosses his badge back to Dekker. And lastly there is the scene where after Jack's ex-wife's house is destroyed along with some LAPD cops after they unwittingly detonate a bomb which was one of Benedict's glass eyes, Dekker yells incoherently at both Jack and Danny with steam eventually (and literally) coming out his ears! And Draker finally says "Well see if this is clear enough! Give me your badge! And this time you WON'T get it back!".
And I could go on and mention the other cast members who do well enough in their respective roles such as Mercedes Ruehl as Danny's mother, or Bridgette Wilson as Jack's daughter Whitney who has a good moment in the scene where Whitney is being beaten by one of Benedict's thugs and she suddenly says "Big mistake!" and kills him. Also Anthony Quinn as the incompetent mob boss Vivaldi who appears to also enjoy himself in delivering Vivaldi's various misfiring puns. And lastly Robert Prosky provides the film with a fairly charming performance as Nick who runs the old run down theatre where he gives Danny a private screening of Jack Slater IV. Prosky has some fun moments too such as the scene where he tells Danny about the magic ticket and he tears it in half and gives the other half to Danny saying in a professional voice "Please retain your stub, sir!". And later on as he tries to reassure Jack after he is back in the real world there are worse things in life "There are lots of things worse than movies: politicians, wars, forest fires, famine, plague, sickness, pain, warts, politicians..." and Jack says "You already mentioned them" and Nick says "Yeah I know they're twice as worse than anything else!".
DIRECTOR AND MUSIC
Finally as I get onto the direction paragraph (which is usually pretty short) John McTiernan despite the rumours of his disgruntlement of working on the film actually does a pretty decent job here and he is no stranger to staging action sequences and doing them pretty well and he does here once again. McTiernan also manages to keep the pace of the film going at a good fast rate and it rarely ever lags at any time in the film. McTiernan however later in an interview did state that he felt that the film's release was extremely rushed as it came out just a week after Jurassic Park so it was never going to survive as well at the box office and also that he felt the film needed re-editing in order to improve on it saying that there was "a pretty neat film somewhere in there!".
Score wise the film features a pretty good score by the now late Michael Kamen, who was no stranger to doing action films and his score provides some good beefy moments of rock (such as Jack's theme) and orchestral arrangements. The film is also noted for its use of some hard rock songs from bands such as AC/DC, Alice in Chains, Megadeth, Aerosmith, Anthrax and Cypress Hill.
FLAWS
So flaws...... yeah ok Last Action Hero is by no means perfect and one of the things that does threaten to ruin it is the character of Danny himself as he really is an annoying little dick who is a bit too cocky and self aware and is too keen to pick up on the flaws, cliches or hooks of the Slater films. Also Danny being a kid rather naively opens his big mouth at the wrong time in the film as he mentions to Jack shortly after the chat to Benedictwho overhears Danny quote lines from earlier in the movie that "he called his boss a Sicilian schmuck!" but surely he probably should have thought better of that as that's what ultimately rumbled Danny and kicked off the events that lead to Benedict travelling through the portal into the real world. Danny also is too quick to show off being a smart ass to anyone around him which is well noted in the scene where at the police station he turns to someone and says "Hi, I'm Danny Madigan. I'll be Jack's partner for the duration of the film!". And another example is when he makes another smart-ass observation after Jack meets Whitney and says to himself "Hi. I am Danny Madigan and my life has not been long yet. But from now on, I know it will be all downhill". Achhh shuddduppp!
The film also is filled with too many cameo characters such as the animated cartoon detective and John Practice who ultimately don't really serve too much point to the movie even though Practice does betray Jack so he has some sort of semblance of involvement in the story. Then there are some daft cameo inclusions of the T-1000 (played again by Robert Patrick) and Catherine Tramell (Sharon Stone) from Basic Instinct at the police station and its like they just appear out of nowhere but again their inclusion overall is pretty pointless other than a superficial reference to other movies of the time.
It also has to be said the film features some pretty daft and rather obvious jokes such as the dead mob associate called Leo De-Fart, who just happened to apparently fart alot when he was still around and his body is used to release poison gas, which prompts the joke from Jack "The De-Fart is going to pass gas one last time!" and later followed by "He was a good man. A flatulent man!". Yeah there is nothing too original there now is there???? They even also try to do a piss-take on Sylvester Stallone being the Terminator in the scene where Danny while in the Jack Slater IV movie, takes Jack to a video store only to find a cardboard cutout add for Terminator 2 with Sly instead of Arnie pictured, which ultimately backfires as its not that funny a joke. And strangely enough Sly's much better received Demolition Man (released near the same time) made a similar joke about Arnie being voted as a future president, which after he became the Governor of California wasn't too far off the mark!
Also toward the end of the film it becomes a bit of a mess in just where the film is trying to pitch itself as it appears to really choke itself on its own sense of self-congratulation and in trying to be clever. This is especially noted in the scenes where Arnie plays a rather (or seemingly!) exaggerated version of himself who is a total egomaniac and is later stunned as he is saved by Jack who turns to him and says he doesn't really like him. And the film also seems to invent its own convention such as a mortal wound like a gunshot can all of a sudden magically become a flesh wound in the movies! So when (SPOILER FOR WHAT ITS WORTH!!) Jack is shot by Benedict and he is dying in the real world as soon as he get's back into the movies its barely as I said a flesh wound so that means basically Jack is virtually indestructable on screen (or IN the screen!).
And last of all there is the moment where Jack shoots Benedict in the eye, which of course turns out to be explosive as we already knew from earlier in the film when one of the forensic cops finds one of Benedict's glass eyes, he twists a mechanism on it which creates a powerful explosion. Now my question is this....if Benedict's glass eyes are explosive then why the hell would he wear them in the first place???!! It just seems to be a crazy and rather suicidal thing to do because what if someone tried to shoot him in the earlier on in the film??! And that would be the end of Benedict pretty quickly and its a pity Jack didn't think to do that sooner! Also Benedict clearly does have a real right eye as we see in the scene where he goes back to his home and he removes his glass eye to reveal his real eye beneath, which begs the question why bother wear a glass eye in the first place???!! It just seems pointless.
Anyway that's me done looking at the flaws.
SUM UP
Anyway so that's it for my look at Last Action Hero which despite its flaws is still an entertaining albeit daft action movie, which was also strangely one of the first films to satire Hollywood action movies and for the most part it actually does it quite well even if its entirely successful as a whole. And I know most people are keen to slag this film off and dismiss it but if you go into this one with pretty low expectations you might (or might not!) just find that you will enjoy it, even though I'm sure it won't be to everyone's taste.
So that's it for now and with that I shall say goodnight!
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