Top 10 Curb Your Enthusiam Scenes Part 1 - No's 10-6

OK, well I figured it was time for another top 10 list post and this time the next two posts will cover my pick of the top 10 best scenes from the acclaimed American sit-com, Curb Your Enthusiasm, starring Larry David, who plays a neurotic and exaggerated version of himself, who get's into trouble in a number of situations.

Now, this is going to be, to quote Larry, a prettay-prettay-prettayyy difficult list to do given that the show has so many great scenes and episodes.  However, I will do my best to narrow it down as well as I can.

So, with being said, let's get on with the list....

WARNING: Given that I am dealing with individual scenes, there might be....

SOME SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Not to mention some very strong language...

So, here we go....

10. The Surrogate (Series 4) 

Scene - Larry fakes a heart attack "I just want to say....you f***ing asshole!!"

So, this scene kicks off the list and is from the 4th series episode, "The Surrogate" and this series centres around Larry being cast in a production of Mel Brooks acclaimed play, The Producers and after a fallout with Ben Stiller, David Schwimmer is cast to replace him but Larry continues to have tense moments with David also.

So, the gist of the scene involves, Larry making a call to apologise to David Schwimmer's dad, Irving, as he was the man behind a cashew-raisin pack product, which Larry accused David's dad of making the cashew-raisin ratio uneven.  So, Larry in the scene, calls up at Irving on his mobilephone from his car and he get's the answer phone, so Larry leaves a message...

And after we hear Irving's message, Larry says "Oh, hi, Mr. Schwimmer. Uh, this is Larry David. I just want to say....".  However at this exact minute a car pulls in behind his car and it hits the rear bumper of Larry's car, which prompts Larry to furiously shout "...you fucking asshole!!! What's your fucking problem, you prick???!!!".  Larry then get's out his car and confronts the driver and shouts "What the hell is wrong with you??!!" and the driver angrily says "Who the fuck do you think you're talking to??!!".  Larry then says "You bumped into my car!" and the driver angrily shouts "You think I hit your car???" and he goes and grabs a crowbar and he charges towards Larry "Now, I'm gonna hit you in the fuckin head!!".

However, as the driver advances, Larry quickly feigns a heart attack and he lifts up his shirt to reveal that he is wearing a heart monitor and he pulls off the electrodes.  So, the driver quickly changes his tune and becomes concerned as Larry gasps "Oh, my heart!  My heart!" and the driver says " What are you doing? What is this? Is it your heart? All right, just calm down. Don't take them off. You shouldn't have took them off. All right, uh Look oh, Christ. I don't know CPR. Hey, somebody call an ambulance!!".

And in the next moment, we see Larry being carted off into an ambulance on a stretcher, protesting as he tries to convince the paramedics that he feigned his heart attack.  So, Larry says to them "Seriously, the guy was the guy was coming after me with a tire iron. I faked the whole thing. Do you understand what I'm saying?! This is ridiculous! There's nothing wrong with me. This is just so unnecessary!!".

So, its definitely one of the most priceless moments in the series and well worth a place on the list and it also highlights the cleverness of the show and how Larry David beautifully times his comedy.  And suffice to say by the end of the episode, Larry recieves a rather angry call from David Schwimmer's dad in response to his call from earlier!  So, it takes its place deservedly at No.10.

9. Krazee Eyez-Killa (Series 3)

Scene - Krazee Eyez confronts Larry and demands his jacket back "You ain't got no etiquette, motherfu****!!!"

At No.9 is this scene from the 3rd series episode, "Krazee Eyez-Killa" in which Larry befriends a rapper named Krazee Eyrez-Killa, who is dating Wanda (Wanda Sykes) who is also good friends with Larry's wife, Cheryl (Cheryl Hines).  However, it soon becomes apparent that Krazee is cheating on Wanda with numerous women and Larry somehow manages to let it slip and Wanda finds out about it through Cheryl.

Larry also borrows a jacket from Krazee that he needs for a film he is making with Martin Scorsese, which was missing from the set and that serves as one of the main sub plots of the episode itself.  However in this scene, Krazee finds out that Larry talked about his adulterous actions and confronts him at his house and he demands his jacket back.

So, in the scene, Krazee turns up at Larry's house and a rather drunk Cheryl (who had been on a night out) let's him in and Krazee yells out for Larry "Hey, where's Larry at? Larry!!!".  Larry on hearing its Krazee decides to run upstairs to hide, however he accidentally steps on some bubble pack paper, which makes a loud popping noise that alerts Krazee.  So, Krazee yells "He popping them fucking... Larry, I hear you popping those fucking bubbles. Get your ass down here!".

Larry then shows up at the top of the stairs and Krazee looks shocked and asks Larry "Motherfucker, what the fuck?! Motherfucker, what the fuck??!!".  So, a nervous Larry asks "What, Krazee-Eyez?" and Krazee shouts back "Wanda fucking left me, man!  What the fuck you say?!" and Larry tells him "I said nothing" but Krazee angrily says "I know you said something, motherfucker!".  Krazee then says "I thought we cool-de-la, man!" and Larry says "No! We're cool-de-la!" and Krazee insists "No, we ain't cool-de-la!".

Krazee then demands his jacket back "Motherfucker, get my jacket!" but Larry tries to plead with him to keep it "Krazee Eyez...." however Krazee gives Larry a glare and warns him "Don't make me come up there!".  Larry then goes off to jacket and while he does, Krazee eyes up Cheryl for a moment and tells her "You fine, you know that?!".  Larry then returns with the jacket and he throws it down to Krazee from the top of the stairs rather than hand it to him, which angers Krazee.  So, Krazee shouts "How you gonna throw the jacket at me, motherfucker?!! How you gonna throw the jacket at me?!! You ain't got no etiquette, motherfucker!".   

And just before Krazee goes, Cheryl tells him off for cheating on Wanda "That's not how you treat someone you love!" and Larry tries to allay Krazee and tells him "Don't pay attention to her".  So, just before Krazee leaves, he looks up at Larry in disappointment and tells him "I thought you were my nigga!" and Larry says "I'm you're nigga!" and Krazee says "You ain't shit!" and he storms out.

So, this scene is again a prime example of the hilarity of the show's comedy and Krazee Eyez Killa also makes for a priceless character and his response to Larry with "You ain't got not etiquette, motherfucker!" is one of the funniest in the show.  In fact that line alone is worth putting this scene as high up as it is and it deservedly get's its place here at No.9.

8. Vehicular Fellatio (Series 7) 

Scene - Dr Trundle confronts Larry over why he and Loretta didn't show at her lecture
"I think you blew him!"

At No.8 is this scene from an episode of the 7th series, "Vehicular Fellatio" of which the basis of the episode sees Larry desparate to end his relationship with his current girlfriend, Loretta Black (Vivica Fox) who has been diagnosed with cancer.  So on seeing a female doctor on the television, Dr Trundle (Sharon Lawrence) who advocates that any patient suffering from cancer and is in a "toxic" relationship to leave their partner, he instantly decides to make Loretta an appointment to see her.

And at their initial meeting, Larry is blatantly rude and obnoxious to both Loretta and Dr Trundle and at a certain point, Dr Trundle asks Larry to leave the room.  Dr Trundle then asks them to attend a lecture she is giving and on the day of the lecture as Larry and Loretta drive over there, they see Dr Trundle's husband drive the car infront of them and of all a sudden, Dr Trundle's head pops up from her husband's lap much to the surprise of Larry and Loretta.  So, Loretta then decides after she witnesses what very much looks like Dr Tundle giving her husband a blow job, not to go to the lecture.

So, in the scene, Larry goes back to the practice where Dr Trundle asks him to come into her office and she has words with him about his relationship with Loretta.  So, Dr Trundle says to Larry "I wanted to tell you how disappointed I was that you and Loretta were not at the lecture yesterday. And I think the reason that you weren't there was because you recognized that I am going to recommend that she leave the relationship. That terrifies you and that's why you didn't want her to be there".  Larry then laughs and says to Dr Trundle "No, no. That's the furthest thing from the truth".

Dr Trundle then continues and says "I have a lot of experience with this, and I find that men often have this reaction. It's certainly understandable. It's very threatening. But the fact is we're talking about a woman's life and I'm saying something that you just don't want to hear".  Larry smiles and says "Its not true.  I reject your hypothesis" so Dr Trundle firmly asks "Why didn't she come to the lecture?".  Larry asks her "You really want to know?" and Dr Trundle says "Of course I do" and Larry smiles and says "OK, I'll tell you.  We were driving to the lecture, we were on our way - Mm-hmm. and then I noticed your husband in the car ahead of us. Then you picked your head up off of his lap and Loretta decided that she didn't want anything to do with a doctor who would, you know, do that!".

Dr Trundle then looks a little puzzled and asks "Would do what?" and Larry tries to say it without actually saying "Come on..." and it sinks in for Dr Trundle and she reacts with surprise and embarrassment "Oh, my God! My husband was driving the car, and yes, I dropped my cell phone on his side of the car, and I was looking for the cell phone!".  Larry then decides to wind her up and says "Long time to look for a cell phone" and Dr Trundle angrily says "You are so ridiculous!  So juvenile! You are exactly the kind of man - I'm talking about in this book!".  Larry, a little taken aback asks "Me?!" and Dr Trundle furiously says "You are a tiny, little, insecure, infantile mind of about a 12-year-old!".  And Larry grins and says "I think you blew him!" which prompts Dr Trundle to hit him with her book and yell "You have nothing better in your mind than that?! You're out of control! Get him out of my office!" and Larry cowers from her hitting him.

So, there you go, this scene from "Vehicular Fellatio" is another great example of Larry being caught up in an embarrassing situation and milking it for all its worth.  Its a very funny scene and definitely one that deserves to go on the list here and so it takes its place at No.7.

7. The Sabbath (Series 5)

Scene - Larry meets with Mr Henieman and pretends to be an orthodox Jew 
 "I cannot go to the baseball game on the Sabbath, sorry!".

So at No.7 is this great scene from the episode "The Sabbath" in the 5th series where Larry meets with the head of kidney consortium, Mr Henieman as Larry is desparate to help his good friend, Richard Lewis out, who needs a kidney transplant.  So, in the scene, Larry shows up wearing a Yarmukle having earlier dented Mr Henieman's car as a way to meet with him to apologise and make up for it.

So, the scene begins with Larry walking into a diner and up to Mr Henieman and he affects an exaggerated Jewish-American accent "How are you sir?  What a great, great pleasure it is to meet you!" and he sits down with him.  Mr Henieman then says "What a mitzvah it was for you to leave that note on my car" and Larry says "Well, how could I do anything less that that? I'd have to be a sociopath to hit somebody's car and then, and then go away into the night as if nothing happened!".  Larry then goes onto explain about the car accident "What happened, I was listening to Jewish radio and they were talking about Israel and I got so worked up I lost control of my car!".

Mr Henieman then offers Larry to take lunch, which he agrees to and then all of a suddeny, Larry's phone rings and he takes the call and says to the caller "Uh, thank you, thank you for that invitation, but I cannot go to the baseball game on the Sabbath, I'm sorry. It's impossible. I'll take a rain check, however!".  Larry hangs up and then tells Mr Henieman "I'd love to go to the game, but not on the Sabbath. The Yankees are playing and I would - I would kill to go down there!".  Mr Henieman surprised asks "You're a Yankees fan?" and Larry exaggeratedly says "Ohh, I'm a Yankee fan!  Huge Yankee fan!".

Mr Henieman then confesses "There's so many times when the Yankees were playing in Anaheim that I've so much wanted to go to see it. I even cheat by watching it on television. I shouldn't do that!".  Larry then wags his finger cheekily and Mr Henieman says something in Hebrew and Larry, who clearly doesn't understand the language pretends to say something Hebrew in response, which is the single funniest moment in the scene!
After this, Larry manages to get himself invited along to Mr Henieman's ski lodge for the weekend where Larry would go on to meet Mr Henieman's daughter, who is also an orthodox Jew and of course plenty of hilarity ensues there too!

So, while I haven't done a full out transcript for this scene, its more than good enough to warrant its place on here and Larry pretending to be an orthodox Jew and his fake Hebrew are both absolutely priceless and are worth the price of admission alone.  So, this definitely deserves to take its spot here at No.7.

6. Club Soda and Salt (Series 3)

Scene - The end scene where Larry is confronted by a weird shop store worker's husband
 "I need club soda and salt!"

So, at No.6 is this hilarious end scene to the episode "Club Soda and Salt" of which the title refers to a scene at the start (and THIS one at the end!) where there is a wine spillage in the restuarant that Larry is co-financing and one of the workers manages to successfully clean it using club soda and salt.

So...this has much relevance later on in the episode when after Larry and Cheryl go and see a play together starring an actor, Brad, who is friendly with Cheryl and later on they all go to dinner and join Ted Danson and Larry's manager and friend, Jeff Greene (Jeff Garlin) at a restaurant.  And after dinner, Larry has the waiter open a bottle of wine, which Larry pours out and share with Cheryl and his friends.

However at this point, an angry man storms up to Larry and pushes him, causing Larry to spill his glass of wine over Cheryl's top.  So, the man angrily shouts at Larry "Hey, what's your problem?! What is your problem?!!".  Brad however on seeing Cheryl's wine stained top quickly get's up and says to her "Cheryl, don't move!  I've got it under control!  I need club soda and salt!" so off he goes to find some.

Meanwhile Larry continues to be accosted by the angry man who turns to someone and says "Is this the guy?! That's him?!!" and we see it is female store worker, who pestered Larry earlier on in the store when he was browsing around and after he told her to stop and left, she soon calls the cops on him for allegedly following her while driving!  So, the man angrily asks "You were following my wife???!!" and Larry, surprised says "I wasn't following her!" and the man shouts "She called the cops on you! Look at me!".  However, Larry at this point is distracted at the sight of seeing Brad wipe Cheryl's top around her chest area with a cloth soaked with club soda!

Brad then shouts "Salt!  I need salt!" and Larry continues being distracted by Brad while being shouted out by the man, who grabs a hold of Larry by his jacket and yells "I'm talking to you!! I said look at me! She was scared half to death, and you're some kind of pervert following her in the store?!".  And at this point, Brad comes back with salt in his hands, which he rubs into Cheryl's breast area on her wine stained top, much to Larry disbelief as the angry husband continues to shout at him "I'll take you outside look at me! I will kick your ass right now!".  And this brings the episode to an end!!

So while its quite a short scene, it still definitely ranks as one of the funniest in the show and also one of the best end scenes of any episode in the whole series.  It also neatly sees two plot strands come together with the weird female store worker thinking she's being followed by Larry when its actually the other way round and of course Brad's somewhat platonic friendship with Cheryl ending the episode on a note that appears to be anything but!

And I figured this scene definitely deserves its place at No.6 on the list.

Right, so that's it for Part1 of this list and I will be back soon with Part 2.

Till then its bye for now!

Jerry Maguire "I did NOT shoplift the pootie!"

Right, well we are into the final month of the year, which is incredible and I figured it was time to start off the posts for December with a film review and the film I have chosen is Tom Cruise's romantic comedy, Jerry Maguire from 1996 (21 years ago! God!!).  Now, I'm not a big fan of rom-coms perse but I figured I would make an exception with this one and give it a look.

So, with that said, let's dive in and take a closer look at this un...

And yes, the usual warning is coming up...

SPOILERS ARE AHEAD!!!

STORY

So, the story is set around its main character, Jerry Maguire (Tom Cruise) who is a successful sports agent, who works for major agency, SMI.  Jerry however one day on visiting an injured hockey player in hospital, whom Jerry represents, the player's son is disgusted when he Jerry tells him that his dad shouldnt' stop playing and tells Jerry to go f*** himself, leaving Jerry devastated.  Jerry as a result has a life altering epiphany that leads him to write a mission statement for the agency that states that the company needs to start working with fewer athletes to promote better working relationships with them.

As a result of this, Jerry is fired from his job by his protege, Bob Sugar (Jay Mohr) and Jerry then tries to go after all of Bob's clients as well as his own.  However, Jerry has no success in doing so, as Bob successfully manages to wrangle all of Jerry's clients over to him except one, Rod Tidwell (Cuba Gooding Jr) an American football player for the Arizona Cardinals, who is disgruntled with his current contract and drags Jerry into a long conversation, who at the end tells Jerry that he is still his agent.  Jerry before he leaves the office announces that he will start up his own business and asks who will come with him to which no one responds, except for one person, Dorothy Boyd (Rene Zellweger) who was touched by Jerry's mission statement (and also has a thing for him!).

Jerry however is buoyed by the news that a superstar quarterback, Frank "Cush" Cushman (Jerry O'Connell) and his father, Matt (Beau Bridges) wants to stay signed with Jerry.  However, its not long before Matt has a change of heart when he spotted him speaking to Rod, who is African-American whereas as Cush is white.  Jerry afterward has a row with his fiancee Avery (Kelly Preston) and he promptly breaks up with her and as a result beats him up.

Jerry not long after though starts to become romantically attached to Dorothy as the two of them work together much to the disapproval of Dorothy's older sister, Laurel (Bonnie Hunt) and Jerry also takes a shine to Dorothy's son, Ray (Jonathan Lipnicki).  Realising their financial problems, Dorothy tells Jerry that she has been offered a secure job in San Diego but Jerry suggests they get married instead, which they do.  Jerry then puts all his efforts into working with his only remaining client, Rod, who proves difficult to work with as he does nothing but complain about his contract and the game.

Rod however also has a go at Jerry for getting married to Dorothy when it appears he doesn't really love her and in turn Jerry tells Rod he doesn't have his big contract because he plays the game with his head and not his heart and he should shut up and play the game without complaining.  Rod is at first angry but he soon takes Jerry's advice onboard, which results in his team and himself playing much better.

However things on Jerry's marriage are not so good as the two of them decide to take a break from each other, which is essentially a separation.  And this soon leads into the film's climax on the night of an important football game for Rod and his team, which takes an emotional and unexpected turn for both men....

THOUGHTS

Jerry Maguire, even though its a bit goofy and touchy-feely at times, still remains a charming, romantic comedy, where it sees another character journey for Tom Cruise's role, similar to Rain Man, where in this case, Jerry, a no-nonsense sports agent suddenly develops a conscience that leads to him becoming a better person.  The film also is generally good natured and features its share of funny, goofy characters and even 21 years on the film's appeal still remains undiminished.


PERFORMANCES AND NOTABLE SCENES (Warning: this section will be BIG and also contains strong language and spoilers!)

As for the performances, well that is of course where Jerry Maguire scores, as they are all excellent.

Starting with Tom Cruise, who delivers one of his best performances here in the title role of Jerry Maguire, a sports agent, who has an epiphany that alters his life forever but ultimately get's him fired from his job and he is forced to work for himself with only one client, the tempermental football player, Rod Tidwell.  And throughout the film, Jerry

Tom being the star of the film has his share of good scenes here and to start off there is the scene where after paying a visit to a concussed hockey player in hospital, the player's young son asks Jerry "Mr Maguire, this is his 4th concussion.  Shouldn't somebody get him to stop?!".  Jerry however replies "It would take a tank to stop your dad. It would take all five...Super Trooper VR Warriors to stop your dad. Right? Right?" but the boy simply looks at Jerry with disdain and says "Fuck you!" and walks off, leaving Jerry shocked and he narrates "Who had I become?  Just another shark in a suit?".

Another good scene is when Jerry is fired by his protege, Bob Sugar at a diner and Bob says to him "I came here to let you go". Jerry looks a little taken aback and asks "Beg your pardon?" and Bob says "Came here to fire you, Jerry.  Its real you should say something" and Jerry looks down, quietly devastated.  Jerry says "A public place so there isn't a scene.  You ungrateful....".  Bob then angrily says to Jerry "You need to see yourself. You said fewer clients, you put it on paper. You know what I went through? Fire my mentor? Carrying that for a week? Could you get past yourself?!! Jesus!".  Jerry now over his initial shock, looks determined and says "I'm over it.  Now I want all my clients and yours too!".

So, this is followed by the scene where Jerry desparately tries to hold onto his clients by he soon loses them in rapid succession to Bob and his last call is to Rod Tidwell, who keeps Jerry on the phone longer than he wanted.  Rod then makes Jerry dance to his tune as he says the famous line "Show me the money!" and he asks Jerry to repeat it and Jerry flatly says "Show you the money" but Rod says "Not, not you, show ME the money!".  Rod then pushes Jerry further and says "You got to yell, Jerry!" so Jerry starts yelling "Show me the money!" and Rod says "I need to feel you!" and Jerry shouts it louder "Show me the money!!!" and the whole office then turns to look at him in his office, yelling at the top of his lungs.

Rod pushes Jerry more and shouts "Say I love black people!" and Jerry yells "I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE!!!" and Rod shouts "Who's your motherfucker, Jerry?!" and Jerry yells back "YOU'RE MY MOTHERFUCKER!!!".  Rod then asks "What are you gonna do, Jerry??!" and Jerry yells as loud as he can "SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!".  Rod then finally ends the call saying "Congratulations, you're still my agent!" and he hangs up and Jerry, exhausted, looks at his lights on his phone, which have all gone out, meaning he has lost all his other clients and he tosses his mobile phone down on his desk.

Then there is the following scene where Jerry leaves his office with his belongings as the entire office look at him.  And Jerry smiles weakly and says "Well, don't worry. I won't do what you think I will...which is just..." and he suddenly wildly flips out momentarily "flip out! Let me just say...as I ease out of the office I helped build. I'm sorry, but it's a FACT...that there's such a thing as manners. A way of treating people!".  Jerry then takes some goldfish from a tank nearby and places them in a plastic bag and says to the office "If anybody else wants to come with me...this will be a moment of something...real and fun and inspiring...in this godforsaken business...and we will do it together. Who's coming with me?!!".  However no one answers and he stands there saying "This is embarrassing" but then Dorothy suddenly stands up and says "I will go with you!" and Jerry delighted says "Dorothy Boyd!  Thank you!!" and they awkwardly leave together.

Another good scene is where after Jerry loses his main client, the superstar American footbal player Cushman, he sits in an airport lobby drinking with Rod sitting next to him, just after he has broken up with his fiancee, Avery.  So, Jerry dispairing asks Rod "What are you doing with me, Rod?" and Rod asks "What?" and Jerry says "Don't you see?!  I am fucked!  24 hours ago...." he clicks his fingers "I was hot!  Now, I'm a cautionary tale! I don't need this jacket, because I'm CLOAKED IN FAILURE! I lost the number one player the night before the DRAFT!!! Why? Let's recap. Because a hockey player's kid made me feel like a superficial jerk! I ate some bad pizza, went to bed and grew a conscience!".  However Rod is not interested or that sympathetic and he says to Jerry mockingly "Well, boo-fucking-hoo!".

Then comes the scene where Jerry and Dorothy go out on a date together and afterward they go back to Dorothy's place and they kiss and cuddle on the doorstep and Dorothy asks him "Are you sure you wanna do this??" and Jerry looks at her and says "Oh, hell yes!".  Then in the next moment after Dorothy's babysitter Chad (Todd Louiso) gives Jerry a tape of jazz music, Jerry and Dorothy get into bed with one another with the music playing in the background.  And Jerry looks at Dorothy as they cuddle and he tells her "You know this is going to change everything" and Dorothy says "Promise?" and at this point the jazz music has gone a bit bonkers and Jerry asks her "What IS this music??!" and they both laugh.   

Then there is scene where Jerry meets with Rod after a football game in the men's showers with Rod stark naked, Jerry asks Rod "Towel??" and Rod says "No, I air dry".  Jerry then tries to convince Rod to bury his attitude when it comes to playing the game and in the locker rooms but Rod doesn't fall for it.  So, Rod then says to Jerry firmly "Do your job!  I am an athlete!  Not an entertainer!" and Jerry suddenly furiously says "FINE!!!" and Rod continues "I do not dance, and I do not start pre-season without a contract!".  Jerry furiously then starts punching thin air and yelling "FINE!!!" again and Rod says "These are ABC's to me, baby!" and Jerry yells "FINE!!! FINE!!! FINE!!" and he kicks his foot against the wall.

Jerry desparately pleads to Rod "I am out here for you! You don't know what it's like to be me! It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege...that I will never fully tell you about, okay?!!! God!! Help me! Help me, Rod! Help me help YOU! Help me help YOU!!".  Rod then suddenly bursts out laughing and says to Jerry "You are hanging by a very thin thread...and I DIG that about you!!" and Jerry, feeling humiliated says to Rod "I'm happy to entertain you, Rod" and he walks out.

Another good scene between Tom and Cuba is the one where Jerry and Rod are at a shoot for a commercial starring Rod but Rod bitches and moans about having to get on a camel and he ends up quitting.  So, as the two of them leave the set, Jerry asks Rod "What do you know about dating single mothers?" and Rod says "Plenty! I was raised by one" and then Rod tells Jerry he must be honest with Dorothy about how he fells if he doesn't love her.  Jerry does admit though he adores Dorothy's son, Ray "The kid's amazing" and Rod smiles heartily and says "I feel you.  But a real man wouldn't shoplift the pootie from a single mother!".  Jerry then offended by this remark says "Hey, I did NOT shoplift the pootie!" but Rod gives him a stern look saying "Are you sure?????" and Jerry finally gives in and admits "Alright...I shoplifted the pootie!".

Then there is the scene later on after a football game where Jerry and Rod walk together and Rod confronts Jerry over why he married Dorothy given that he doesn't appear to love her.  So, Rod asks him "Why did you get married??" and Jerry "You wanna know why?  Loyalty!  She was loyal.  I mean everything...grew from there".  Rod then laughs and says "That's the answer.  It ain't sexy. Shit!  But that's an answer!" and Jerry annoyed says "I'm happy to entertain you as always, Rod!".

Jerry then decides to get back at Rod and tells him out right why he doesn't have the 10 million dollar contract he so wants.  So, Jerry angrily tells Rod "Here's why you don't have your $10 million. You're a paycheck player. You play with your head, not your heart. In your personal life? Heart. On the field, it's about what you didn't get. Who's to blame, who underthrew...who has the contract you don't, who's not giving you love! That is not what inspires people! That is not what inspires people! Just shut up! Play the game from your heart. Then I'll show you the kwan.  And that's the truth!  Can you handle it?!  Can you handle it?!" and he mockingly impersonates Rod and says "You know?!".

And last of all of course is the scene where after Rod wins the game for his team and the two of them share an emotional moment together afterward infront of the press, Jerry runs to get back to Dorothy's to tell her he wants to be in her life.  So, in the scene, Jerry shows up at Dorothy's home in which her sister, Laurel, is running a divorced women's discussion group and Jerry calls out to them "Hello!  I'm looking for my wife".

So, as Dorothy appears, Jerry emotionally tells her "Tonight...our little project, our company had a very big night. A very, very big night. But it wasn't complete. It wasn't nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete...because I couldn't share it with you. I couldn't hear your voice...or laugh about it with you. I missed my... I missed my wife. We live in a cynical world. A cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors...".  And as he tells her "You complete me..." Dorothy has heard enough and tearfully says "Shut up!  You had me at hello!" and they two of them embrace infront of the discussion group.

Cuba Gooding Jr next is great in his role as the charismatic but mouthy Rod Tidwell, an American football player with a big chip on his shoulder.  Cuba of course won an Academy Award for best supporting actor in this film and his performance is certainly a flamboyant work that stands out.

So, its safe to say that Cuba has his highlights in the film that include the scene where Rod tells Jerry to "Show me the money".  So, in the scene Rod on the phone to Jerry says to him "This is what you'll do for me...are you listening?" and Jerry now at this stage is pretty irritated at being kept on so long asks "What can I do for you, Rod?!".  Rod then says to Jerry as he puts his kids out of the kitchen along with his wife Marci (Regina King) "It's a very personal, very important thing. It's a family motto!".  Rod says to Jerry "Are you ready, brother? Here it is!" and he says the classic line "Show me the money!" and he get's Jerry to repeat it over and over louder and louder.  And at the end of the call Rod says to Jerry "What you gonna do, Jerry??!!" and Jerry yells "SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!" and Rod ends the calls by saying "Congratulations, you're still my agent!".

Then there is the scene where after Jerry loses Cush as his main client, he stands outside the airport with Rod to flag down a taxi.  So, Rod says to Jerry "You're loving me now, aren't you?" and Jerry says "Very much!" and Rod asks Jerry teasingly "Is it my imagination? Didn't we arrive in a limo?!".  Then in the next moment they are back on a plane sitting together and Rod tells Jerry "I got a shelf life of 10 years. My next contract has to bring the dollars that'll last a long time. I'm done in five years. What's my family gonna live on? Huh?! What you get me. So I won't hear your shit" and he feigns sobbing and mocks Jerry "Oh, I lost Cush and Avery..." shit!  Anybody else would have left you by now...but I'm sticking with you. I said I would. If I gotta ride your ass like Zorro, you gonna show me the money!".  Rod then puts on some earphones and starts listening to some funk music and he dances around in his seat and says "We together on this. You know what I'm saying? We gonna be one. The both of us! You know?!" and he grabs Jerry's hands enthusiastically but Jerry looks agahst and says "Oh, my God!".

Another good scene is when Jerry visits Rod in the locker room after a football game and he tells Rod that he is talking to another agent about renogotiating his contract, which annoys Rod as its not enough for him at this stage.  So, Rod irritated says "Talking? Jerry Rice, Andre Reed, Chris Carter. I smoked all these fools! Yet they're making the big dollars. They are making the kwan! And YOU'RE talking!".  Jerry puzzled then asks Rod "Kwan? That's your word?" and Rod says "Hell yeah, that's my word. Some dudes might have coin, but they'll never have kwan. It means love, respect, community and dollars. The entire package...." and he makes a grand gesture and says "The kwan!".

Then as Jerry tells Rod to bury his attitude on the field, Rod quickly becomes angry and says "You're telling me to dance!" but Jerry tries to convince that he isn't but fails as Rod says "Do your job!  Don't tell me too dance!".  Jerry then becomes furious as he shouts "Fine!!" over and over as Rod tells him "I do not dance, and I do not start pre-season without a contract!" and Jerry furiously shouts "FINE!! FINE!! FINE!!" and kicks the wall with his foot.  Rod then tries to calm Jerry down and says "Breathe, Jerry! Breathe!" and Jerry desparately tells Rod that he is trying to help him and it saps his pride to do so being his only client and pleads with Rod to help him.  Rod then simply laughs at Jerry's display and says "You are hanging on by a very thin thread. And I DIG that about you! No contract? I'll help me, I'll help you, help everybody!".  Jerry then says he's happy to entertain him and walks out and Rod calls after him "Jerry. Come on, man. See, that's the difference between us. You think we're fighting. I think we're finally talking!".

Another good scene comes when Rod and Jerry talk about Jerry dating a single mother, i.e. Dorothy and as Jerry asks him "What do you know about dating a single mother?" and Rod says "Plenty, I was raised by one".  Rod then asks "Do you love her?" and Jerry seems unsure and asks "How do I know?" and Rod says "You know when you know" and Jerry tells him "I don't want her to go.  I've been hanging around her place alot".  Rod however stops Jerry and says "That right there is bullshit! You gotta be fair to her. Single mothers are a sacred thing.  You gotta have the talk. She loves you. If you don't love her, you have got to tell her!".  Jerry smiles and says of Dorothy's son, Ray "The kid's amazing..." and Rod smiles and says "I feel you, dog.  But a real man wouldn't shoplift the pootie from a single mother".  Jerry then takes offence and says "Hey, I did NOT shoplift the pootie!" but Rod eyeballs him hard and Jerry gives in and admits "Alright....I shoplifted the pootie!".

Then there is the scene where Rod and Jerry leave together after another football game and Rod confronts Jerry over how strained marriage to Dorothy.  So, Rod asks him "I'm just trying to talk to you. How's your marriage? The husband and wife thing, how is that?" and Jerry gives Rod a guilty look and says "Not everyone has what you have".  Rod then firmly asks Jerry "Then why did you get married???  I'm just asking as a friend" and Jerry says because Dorothy was loyal and everthing grew from there, prompting Rod to laugh and say "That's an answer!  Its not sexy!  Shit!".  Jerry then gets back at Rod for him asking by telling Rod flat out why he doesn't have his 10 million dollar contract and its basically because he bitches and complains too much on the field and in the locker room and he needs to shut up and just play the game.  Rod now furious says to Jerry "I don't want to be friends no more!" and they walk off their separate ways and Jerry says "Fine.." and Rod annoyed says to him "And stop saying "kwan" that's my word!".  And as Rod boards a bus he turns to Jerry and angrily says "No heart?!  I'M ALL HEART, MOTHERFUCKER!!!".

And last of all there is the scene (SPOILER!!!) where after Rod finally get's his moment in the spotlight by securing a play-off spot for his football team and overcoming a potentially dangerous injury on the field, he is invited onto a TV interview.  And the presenter is known to make the atheletes he interviews cry by talking about their difficult pasts but Rod this time doesn't fall for it even as the presenter talks about Rod's difficulties growing up and Rod smiles and says "I'm not gonna cry, Roy!".

But then the presenter tells Rod that he is getting a new contract worth 11.5 million dollars for four years, which overwhelms Rod with emotion and he suddenly starts to cry.  Rod then tearfully says "I love everybody!!  I love my wife! Marcee! I love my kids! Tyson and my new baby, Katie. My older brother, who got one leg, and my younger brother, Tee Pee. You're militant, but I ain't mad at you!  I got nothing but love for you!".  And then as the presenter tells Rod to wrap it out as they are running out of time, Rod wells up once again and says "I'm forgetting somebody..." and he points emotionally to Jerry and says "Jerry Maguire...my agent" and his eyes well up with tears and he sobs "You are my ambassador of kwan, man!".  And as the presenter says congratulations, Rod rushes in and gives him a bug hug and says "Thank you!".

Rene Zellweger next up is also really good in her role as Dororthy Boyd, the single young mother, who leaves her job with SMI to go work with Jerry Maguire after he is fired by the agency and the two of them some become involved romantically, which leads to further complications down the line.

And Rene has her share of good scenes also such as the one where Jerry comes round to Dorothy's place, drunk, and Dororthy clearly is into him but she has a chat with her older sister, Laurel, who is not so approving of the situation.  So, Dorothy tells Laurel "What are other women my age doing right now? They're out partying, trying to get a man. Trying to keep a man. Not me, I'm trying to RAISE a man! I've had three lovers in four years. All of them ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath. Look at me. I'm the oldest 26-year-old in the world!".

Then in the next scene, Dorothy sits with Jerry and they chat about their situation and Dorothy says to him "The truth? I care about the job, of course.  But mostly, I just want to be inspired" and Jerry says flatly "Me too".  Dorothy then tells Jerry "What you wrote inspired me. I'm working with you because of that memo. I loved that memo!" and Jerry corrects her "Well, it was a mission statement".  However then Jerry, under the influence, moves in and makes a move on Dorothy as he kisses her puts his hand on her breast but then he pulls away and drunkenly says "Sorry about the hand".  Jerry then awkwardly says how he is getting a glimpse ahead of how he will feel embarrassed in the morning and Dorothy tells him "Don't worry about it, boss!".  Jerry then groans and says "Shit!  You said "boss" Now I feel like Clarence Thomas.  I'm like harrassing your right now!" and Dorothy smiles and says "I may not sue!".

Another good scene for Rene is when Jerry the following day comes into his apartment and Dororthy gives him a rundown of his finances, which don't make for good reading.  And Jerry says to Dorothy "We've got a company to think about. I'll never take advantage of you again".  So, Dororthy at this point feels compelled to leave Jerry alone and says to him as edges out the door "I know you need to be alone with your thoughts. Think about what's wrong and how to fix it. And, you know, just be alone. Alone....".  And just before she goes, Jerry calls out to her "You want to go out to dinner?!" and Dorothy suddenly says "I know a great place!".

Then we have the scene where Rod and Marcee come round to Jerry's as Rod's new contract offer is faxed through but is way less than they hoped for.  So, Marcee, frustrated by the situation angrily says to Jerry "A lot of agents say a lot of shit. What do you stand for?!".  And Dororthy, who is also present, feels compelled to defend Jerry and she passionately says to Marcee "How about a little integrity?! When there's so much greed in the world...I don't know what to tell my son! This guy isn't yelling, "Show me the money!" Do you know he's broke and working for you for free? Broke! Broke, broke, broke!!".  Dorothy then calms herself down and says of Marcee "I'm sorry, I'm just not as good at the insults as she is" but Marcee, surprised says "No, that was pretty good" and Rod says "No shit!".

Then there is the poignant scene between Jerry and Dorothy as the two of them discuss the possibility of them breaking up.  So, Dorothy accepting of the situation says to Jerry "My need to make the best of things, and your need to be responsible... If we don't say something about it now, we could lose 10 years...being polite. Let's just call this next road trip what it really is: A nice long break".  Jerry feeling guilty then says "So, this break is a breakup?  Thats...." and Dorothy says "Come on, Jerry. You know this isn't easy for me. On the surface, everything looks fine. I've got this great guy. And he loves my kid. And he sure does like me a lot. And I can't live like that. It's not how I'm built".

And last of all is of course the scene where Jerry after Rod's successful night on the football field, races back to Dorothy's home to tell her he wants to stay.  So, as he tells her the rather cringing line "You complete me..." Dorothy's eyes well up and she says "Shut up!  You had me at "hello"!" and the two of them hug infront of Laruel's female divorcee discussion group. 

My need to make the best of things,
and your need to be responsible...
If we don't say something about
it now, we could lose 10 years...
...being polite.
Let's just call this next road trip
what it really is:
A nice long break.

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=jerry-maguire   

Kelly Preston next up is also pretty good in her role as Jerry's sexy and somewhat sassy fiancee, Avery, although its not long before they actually break up.

And I will for time only really mention one of her scenes and its the one where Jerry breaks up with Avery.  So, in the scene, Avery angrily tells Jerry "There's a sensitivity thing that some people have. I don't have it. I DON'T cry at movies, or gush over babies...I DON'T do Christmas early...and I DON'T tell a man who screwed up our lives: "Oh, poor baby!." That's me, for better or worse. But I do love you!".

Jerry then says to her "Avery, its over" but Avery refuses to listen and walks away saying "Didn't hear it!" but Jerry tells her firmly "Its over" which makes Avery suddenly feel shaken and she tells him "No one has EVER dumped me!" and Jerry says to her "I'm not trying to make history here".  Avery then says stubbornly "I climbed to the top of El Capitan...in 18 hours and 23 minutes. I can make THIS work!" but Jerry firmly says "No".  Avery then suddenly looks tearful and says "Oh, Jerry...." but then she turns away and spins around punches him in the face a few times and knees him in the stomach and stands over him and says "I won't let you hurt me, Jerry. I'm too strong for you. Loser!" and walks away leaving Jerry stunned on the floor.

Jay Mohr is also pretty good as Bob Sugar, Jerry's protege and fellow sports agent at SMI, who has the killer instinct for the job and ends up firing Jerry after he posts his mission statement out to the company.

And I will quickly mention two of Mohr's scenes that include first of all the one where Bob invites Jerry to a lunch where he fires him.  So, as Jerry sits down, fizzing with energy and good feelings, Bob asks him "You OK?" and Jerry cheerfully says "Fine!  What's up?" and Bob tells Jerry "Came here to let you go".  Jerry then takes a moment and asks "Beg your pardon?" and Bob tells him "Came here to fire you, Jerry.  Its real, you should say something" and Jerry, devastated takes a moment to let this news sink in.  And as Jerry is about to mouth off at Bob, Bob tells him angrily "You need to see yourself. You said fewer clients, you put it on paper. You know what I went through? Fire my mentor? Carrying that for a week? Could you get past yourself?!! Jesus!".

And lastly there is the scene where Bob turns up on the night of Rod's big football game and tries to make a move to persuade him to leave Jerry and join SMI.  So, as Rod waits for Jerry to show, Bob walks up to him and asks "Hey, buddy. I wondered where you were. How's it going?" but Rod, irritated by him says "Get out of here! Go!" so Bob then asks "Where's your agent?" and Rod annoyed says "I don't know!".  Bob then decides to move in with his pitch and tells Rod "I know it isn't cool to do this now but you belong with the big boys. You belong with the big money. - You're fucking Rod Tidwell!".  Then at last, Jerry appears and pushes Bob away and says "Get away from my guy!  Just go!  Flee!" and Bob smiles and says "This is a nice moment for you. I'm gonna let you have it".

Regina King also is really good in her role as Rod's feisty wife, Marcee, who is not afraid to mince her words when it comes down to business.

Again I will only mention a couple of her scenes, such as the one where Marcee with Rod, goes to Jerry's place where they are disgruntled with the poor contract offer Rod has been given.  And Marcee angrily says "Shit. 1.7 for three years? Man, we owe more than that!"  and Jerry tells her "This is the game.  Now, I'll get back to them". However Marcee then angrily asks "And say what?!" Please remove your dick from my ass"!!!?" and Rod pleads with her to calm down and she says  "I'm sorry, I'm just a little pregnant right now!".  Jerry then says to her "Let's not take this emotionally" and Marcee objects and says "I don't think you've gotten emotional enough over this man!" then "Get me Bob Sugar on the phone!".  Jerry then taken aback asks "You wanna leave me??" and Marcee angrily says "Well, alot of agents say alot of shit!  What do you stand for??!" and then Dorothy leaps to Jerry's defence.  

Rod then looks to Jerry for his advice and asks "Jerry, tell me what to do?  You want me to eat Lima beans?  I'll eat Lima beans. You say this is the best we can get?  All we can get....".  However, Marcee then goes up to Rod and holds his face and says "This is what you're gonna do. You're gonna reject that shitty contract. Play out your existing shitty contract, and next year, you're a free agent. Baby, this is us. You and me. We determine our worth. You are a strong, proud...surviving, splendid black man!".  Rod, touched by her words then says "Marcee....you are the shit!" and they hug.

And then there is the scene where Marcee and her family sit in her living room and watch the big football game which Rod is playing in that could send his team into the play-offs.  So, in the scene as Rod appears on the screen, Rod's young son, stands up and shouts "That's my mo-fo!!".  And as Marcee's family gasps with surprise, Marcee beckons her son to come to her and she says to him "Come here. Why don't you be the first man in your family not to use that word? And we'll let you live. Now go kiss Daddy, quick!" and her son kisses an image of Rod on the screen.

Bonnie Hunt is also pretty good as Laurel, Dorothy's sister, who disapproves of Jerry and she too has a few good scenes of her own but I will only mention two.

First off, there is the scene where Laurel is told by Dorothy that Jerry is coming over and Laurel says to her "OK.  But he better not be good looking!".  Then it cuts to Laurel opening the front door and we see Jerry grinning, wearing shades and he says "Hi. I'm Jerry Maguire" and Laurel says "Hello.  You're just the way I pictured you".  Laurel then introduces herself and says "I'm her disapproving sister, Laurel" and Jerry smiles and says "Honesty!  Thank you!" and gives her a warm hug.

Then in the next moment, Laurel chats to Dorothy and warns her about him being drunk and he could probably take advantage of her.  So, Laurel tells her "Dorothy, this guy would go home with a gardening tool if it showed interest!".  Laurel then says to her "I'll only say this: You've always been responsible with Ray. He shouldn't hear a strange man's voice here. Some drunken stranger".  Dorothy then responds referring to Laurel's divorce group "As opposed to 10 angry women!" and Dorothy collides with Laurel, who is carrying a plate of food that soils Dorothy's top, Laurel then says "Lean forward.  OK.  I've got it.  Its still edible, change your shirt" so Dororthy does so.

And lastly there is the scene on the day of Jerry and Dorothy's wedding where after the reception has ended, Jerry ends up sharing a beer with Laurel.  And after the two of them clink glasses and share a smile, Laurel suddenly says to Jerry "You fuck this up and I'll kill you" and she walks off, leaving Jerry stunned for a moment and then he calls after her "I'm glad we had this talk!".

And last of all is Jonathan Lipnicki as Ray, Dorothy's somewhat adorable son, who quickly grows fond of Jerry and vice versa.

And I will mention only one of Jonathan's scenes and its the one where Jerry comes round to visit Dorothy and while she is in the kitchen getting drinks ready for them, Ray get's out his bed and joins Jerry on the sofa.  Ray then grins at Jerry and tells him a neat fact "The human head weights 8 pounds!" which prompts Jerry to burst out laughing.  Then Rod phones up to speak to Jerry and Ray answers it and as Rod parrots on about making the big bucks and the "kwan", Ray asks "Who's this?" and Rod, sitting in his bath, firmly says "This is Rod Tidwell.  I need to speak to my agent!".  And after a certain time of Rod yapping on, Ray finally tells Rod "You talk too much!" which again causes Jerry to burst out laughing and Rod suddenly sounds a bit desparate and says "No, talking is primitive form of communication...!" so Ray says "It was fun talking to you.  Bye, Rod!" and he hangs up.

And last of all is the moment where Jerry tries to talk to Ray about his life and how no one has ever truly listened to him but all Ray is interested in is going to the zoo, which he repeats over and over.  So, Jerry finally says to him "Ray, the fucking zoo is closed, Ray!" and then he realises what he has said and Ray quietly says "You said "fuck".." and Jerry rather ashamed says "Yeah I did" and Ray quickly says "I won't tell".

DIRECTOR AND MUSIC

Finally moving onto the director, Cameron Crowe does a fine job here with the film and having also written the screenplay, he has put together an engaging film for audiences and he paces the film out in a leisurely way, which doesn't feel too overlong or padded out.  Crowe also manages to elicit some fine performances from his cast and for me it remains one of his best films even though he would go on to make other films such as the awfully self indulgent remake of "Open Your Eyes", Vanilla Sky, which also stars Tom Cruise.

As for the music well it features both an original score and some tracks by various bands and artists and the original score itself was written by Nancy Wilson, which isn't too bad and is quite charming for the most part even if it isn't that remarkable.  However the other tracks used are better and include The Who's "Magic Bus", Paul McCartney's "Momma Miss America", The Rolling Stones "Bitch", Bruce Springsteen's "Secret Garden" and AC/DC's "For those of who about to rock (We salute you)".
FLAWS

As for flaws...well, yeah OK, Jerry Maguire has some although they are fairly minor ones.

For starters, there are times where Crowe's dialogue sounds just a bit too smart-assed at times, like Crowe has written a screenplay that is smart and he knows it, which suggest to me that Crowe himself is a bit cocky as a director.  An example being the scene where Dorothy says to Laurel's divorcee group of women, in light of her ailing marriage to Jerry "Maybe you are right.  Men are the enemy.  But I still love the enemy!". 

There are also some moments in the film that do feel a bit gushy and sentimental, such as Jerry's emotional speech to Dorothy at the end where he delivers that cringeworthy line "You complete me!" or when Dorothy watches Jerry give Ray a hug before they go out on a date and Crowe plays Bruce Springsteen's "Secret Garden" to heighten the emotion.

Then there are some other cringing scenes such as the one where Jerry having successfully convinced his American football superstar client, Frank "Cush" Cushman to stay with him, Jerry overjoyed drives away and tries to find a song he can sing along to.  So, after a few tries on the radio, Jerry get's Tom Petty's "Free Fallin" and he sings along with it whole heartedly, which is just a "Oh, God!!!" moment in the film.

And last of all on a plot point note, I have a problem with Jerry's instant decision to split up with Avery even though they were engaged to be married, just because he failed to sign Cush, he then promptly decides to end their relationship!  I mean it just seems a bit rushed and out of the blue that Jerry after being together with her so long would decide to split up with her!  So, for me it remains one of the film's scenes I don't quite buy into.

So, that's it for the flaws.

SUM UP

So, summing up, Jerry Maguire after 21 years, is still a funny, charming comedy that has alot to offer as it features some excellent performances, particularly from the three leads in Tom, Cuba and Rene as well as an amusing and intelligent script from and solid direction from Cameron Crowe.  And any of the film's drawbacks don't really stop it from being a fine film and one that is still worth checking out 21 years after its release.

Right, so that's it for now and I will be back soon with possibly another top list, as I am thinking of doing a Top 10 scenes from Curb Your Enthusiasm, as I have been watching alot of the series lately and figured its well worth doing a list on that series!

So, until the next one, its bye for now!

Top 5 Fawlty Tower Episodes - Part 2: No's 2-1

Right, so I'm now onto my 2nd and last part of my top 5 Fawlty Towers episodes and in this episode I will look at my pick of the best and the runner up spot.

So, let's take a look....

P.S. I am just trying to get this post uploaded before the end of the night, so I will have 5 posts for the month and I will continue to add to it in December!  

2. Hotel Inspectors (Series 1) "Sppppppppoooonns!!!"

Right, so in second place is this hilarious episode "Hotel Inspectors" from the first series, which sees Basil face the prospect of having the hotel being inspected after Sybil hears some gossip from her friend that apparently there are some hotel inspectors in town.  However one of the guests, Mr Hutcheson (Bernard Cribbins) arrives, who has a rather bossy outward nature and when he mentions in his job he is in "constant contact" with hotels, Basil automatically suspects him to be a hotel inspector.


However what ensues is a escalation of calamities for Basil as he soon finds out that Mr Hutcheson isn't in fact a hotel inspector but works in the spoon trade as a salesman and this sets him on a vengeful frame of mind.  And from here its not long before things end rather badly in different ways for both men.....

THOUGHTS

Hotel Inspectors is an undeniably great episode and one of the funniest in the series and it also features some clever moments too, such as the one where Basil tells Mr Hutcheson to shut up but Polly convinces Hutcheson that Basil actually told her to shut up.  So, as Mr Hutcheson says "If you say "Shut up" to somebody, - that's the one you want to shut up, isn't it?!" and Polly says "Well not necessarily".  And from this point on Basil and Polly talk alternately to each other without looking each other while looking at Mr Hutcheson when they are not acknowledging each other.  Its a clever scene and must have taken ages for them to rehearse!

The episode also works so well thanks to a great performance by Bernard Cribbins, the uppity and fussy Mr Hutcheson, who Basil is incredibly rude to at first until he suspects he could be a hotel inspector.  However after Basil finds out, Hutcheson works in the spoon trade, he goes back to being belligerent toward him and the episode ends with perhaps the funniest ending of the whole series.

NOTABLE SCENES

So, the episode has its share of great scenes, starting with the one where Basil first deals with Mr Hutechson at reception while Sybil gossips on the phone.  So, Basil says to Sybil sarcastically "Darling, when you're finished, why don't you have a lie down?!" and he turns to Mr Hutcheson and says "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. I had no idea my wife was so busy!".  Mr Hutcheson then says "Fear not, kind sir, it matters not one whit" and Basil, puzzled asks "I beg your pardon?" and Mr Hutcheson reiterates cheerfully "It matters not one whit. Time is not pressing on me, fortunately. Now some information, please. This afternoon I have to visit the town for sundry purposes which would be of no interest to you I am quite sure, but nevertheless shall require your aid in getting for me some sort of transport, some hired vehicle that is, to get me to my first port of call!".  Basil, now slightly irritated asks "Are you alright?" and Mr Hutcheson says "Oh, yes.  I find the air here most invigorating!".  Basil now irritable asks "Did I gather from your first announcement that you want a taxi?" and Mr Hutcheson says "In a nutshell" and Basil mutters to himself "Case more like(!)".

Then after Basil reluctantly draws a diagram for Mr Hutcheson to where the local post office is, Mr Hutcheson criticises Basil's writing and says his "P" looks like a "B".  So, Basil snatches the sheet the diagram is written on from Mr Hutcheson and shows it to another guest, Mr Watt (James Cossins) and asks "Excuse me, would you say that was a "P" or a "B"? There.Does it say "Boff," or does it say "Poff"? It's a "P," isn't it?!" and Mr Watt wearily says "I suppose so".  Basil then refers to the abbreviated way he has written post office as "P-Off" and he says to Mr Watt "P-Off!" which leaves Mr Watt somewhat taken aback "I beg your pardon??" and Basil says again "P-Off!  Whoever heard of a "bost office".

This is then followed by a hilarious moment where Basil asks Manuel to take Mr Watt's cases to room 7 but Manuel's poor English at this stage leaves him confused by Basil's request and he asks "Que?".  So, Basil then holds up a couple of illustrated drawings of a suitcase and the letter "7" and Manuel in turn, cheerfully holds up a card that reads "OK!".

Another great scene comes when Basil is about to make a phone call but Mr Hutcheson rings the reception bell but Basil chooses to ignore him until he finally snaps and says to Mr Hutcheson sharply "I'm on the telephone!".  Mr Hutcheson then says "You haven't finished dialing yet!" and Basil sharply slams down the reciever back onto the cradle.  Mr Hutcheson then asks Basil "Now, listen There is a documentary on BBC 2 this evening about Squawking Bird, the leader of the Blackfoot Indians in the late 1860s. This starts at 8:45 and goes on for approximately three quarters of an hour.  Is it possible for me to reserve the BBC 2 channel for the duration of this televisual feast?!".  Basil then snaps back "Why don't you talk properly??!" and he then responds to Mr Hutcheson's request by saying "It is not possible to reserve the BBC 2 channel from the commencement of this "televisual feast" until the moment of the termination of its ending, thank you so much!".

So, Mr Hutecheson then suggests that Basil should introduce it in future and that he deals hotels, who have such a scheme and he is in constant contact with hotels in his current job, which makes Basil believe he might be a hotel inspector, so he immediately changes tone and becomes more polite to him.

Then there is the scene Sybil tells Basil on overhearing Mr Hutcheson's telephone conversation that he sells spoons and isn't in fact a hotel inspector.  So, Sybil asks Basil "How are you getting on with your hotel inspector?" and Basil says "Oh, fine!" and Sybil tells him "He sells spoons".  Basil then appears a little stunned and asks "Sorry?" and Sybil tells him "He works for a cutlery firm, but he specializes in spoons".

Basil then at first appears indignant to Sybil's actions and asks her "You listened on a private call of one of ours guests?" and Sybil says "That's right, Basil".  Basil then immediately turns angry and says of Mr Hutcheson "Little rat!  I'll get him for that!" and he rants "Pretending he's a hotel inspector, "Do we hire television sets?" Fresh peas, ice buckets....!!".  Sybil then says "Basil, it was your mistake..." and Basil interrupts and says "Now you let me handle..." and Sybil shouts back "BASIL!!!" which makes Basil jump back, frightened.  Sybil then firmly tells Basil "This whole inspector business was in your own imagination, it's nothing to do with him. There is no excuse for rudeness. Do you understand? Do you understand?!".  Basil finally says "Yes!" and Sybil says "Good!" and she walks off leaving Basil to look after her and pretend to throttle her!

This is then followed by the great moment where, Basil walks into the dining room and he circles Mr Hutcheson angrily and he mutters "Spoons, eh???" and Mr Hutcheson asks "What?" and Basil spits out the word "Spppppooonnnnsss!!".  Mr Hutcheson, a little taken aback, wiping some spit from his face, asks "I beg your pardon?!" and Basil explains "I understand you are in the spoon trade" and Mr Hutcheson suddenly smiles and says "Oh, yes!".  Basil then feigns politeness and says "Fascinating, how absorbing for you. So much more interesting than being a HOTEL INSPECTOR!" and he walks away, leaving Mr Hutcheson perplexed.

This is followed by Mr Hutcheson complaining about getting the wrong order from Polly and Basil steps in and he snaps again at Mr Hutcheson and asks him "You wanna run the place?!" and Mr Hutcheson says "No" and Basil then snaps "Well, shut up then!".  Mr Hutcheson then furiously stands up and says "Excuse me! I've changed my mind. I do not want the cheese salad. I wish to cancel it. I am not used to being spoken to like that, and I have no wish to continue my luncheon!!".  Basil instantly apologies and says "I apologise if I seemed a trifle brusque" and Mr Hutcheson furiously says "It was rude, Mr Fawlty!  I SAID RUDE!!  You told me to shut up!".  Polly then interjects and brilliantly tells Mr Hutcheson "No, he told me to shut up!" and Basil and Polly then successfully manage to confuse Mr Hutcheson into thinking that Basil did tell her to shut up and instead. 

Basil during this time, also serves Mr Watt and opens a bottle of wine for him but after Basil pours him a glass, Mr Watt smells the glass and says to Basil "Excuse me, this is corked".  Basil however doesn't understand and says "I just uncorked it!  That's how I managed to get the wine out of the bottle into your glass!".  Mr Watt then explains "No, that's not what I meant.  The wine has reacted with the cork and gone bad!" and Basil takes a sip of the wine and whinces and says "Well, that's cost me!  I'll get you another one!".

Basil then has a big row with Mr Hutcheson, who is furious about Manuel getting his order wrong and he rants infront of the guests and Basil then puts his mouth over Mr Hutcheson to shut him up and punches him in his back, which sends Mr Hutcheson face down into his food, unconscious.  After this Basil says to Sybil "He fainted, dear, he got a bit of cheese stuck!" and Sybil says "Basil, you do not faint from getting a bit of cheese stuck!".  Basil then apologies to Mr Watt and he asks him if he enjoyed his wine and Mr Watt says "Yes, it was very good. Lots of body" and Basil, misunderstanding again, lifts the bottle to feel its weight.  Basil then says to Mr Hutecheson "It's always a pleasure to meet someone who appreciates the boudoir of the grape. I'm afraid most people we get here don't know a Bordeaux from a claret!".  Mr Hutcheson then corrects Basil and says "A Bordeaux IS a claret" and Basil tries to cover up his faux pas and says "Oh, a Bordeaux is a claret but I mean they wouldn't know that!". 

Then after this, Mr Hutcheson is taken through to the office behind reception and he eventually comes around and he suddenly punches Basil several times.  Mr Hutcheson then angrily says to Basil "I'm not a violent man, Mr Fawlty!" and Basil under the desk says "Yes, you are!" and Mr Hutcheson responds "No, I'm not!  When I'm insulted and then attacked, I prefer to rely on my own mettle than call the police!".  Basil then get's up and laughs infront of a shocked Mr Watt, who has come into reception and Mr Hutcheson asks "Did I something funny, Mr Fawlty!" and Basil says "Well more pithy!" and Mr Hutcheson angrily says "Oh, yeah?!  Well, here's the punchline!" and he elbows him in the stomach and says "Now, I'm going to fetch my belongings and I do not expect to recieve a bill!".

Basil then tries to convince an uninterested Mr Watt that Mr Hutcheson is actually a regular guest that what he witnesses was just a bit of fun and Mr Watt happens to mention he is in town with two other colleagues, which automatically makes him suspect that he is now a hotel inspector.  Basil then desparately pleads with him and says "Please! It's taken us 12 years to build this place up. Don't put this in the book. We're finished if you please don't!".  Mr Watt, confused and taken aback asks "What book!" and Basil says "The hotel book...!" and he stops himself and says fearfully "Oh, what have I done???!" and he starts sobbings comically. 

Mr Watt then tries to calm Basil down and says to him "I have nothing to do with the hotel trade.  I sell outboard motors!" and he shows a magazine to Basil who through his tears says "Outboard motors?!  You're not an inspector?  Not on the side??".  Mr Watt then says "I tell you, I have nothing to do with it!" and Basil then immediately relieved and grateful says "Oh, thank you so much!  I don't how I could ever...Thanks!" and he runs off with Manuel to plot his revenge over Mr Hutcheson.

And the episode finishes with the three real inspectors entering the lobby, only for Mr Hutcheson to the come down the stairs with his briefcase and all of a sudden Manuel appears and says "Excuse me, senior, Mr Fawlty want to say adios!".  Then out of nowhere, Basil appears with two pies and shoves one over his face and another on his crotch and Manuel pours a pint of cream into his briefcase and Basil shakes it up and tucks it under Hutcheson's arm and forcibly ejects him out the door.  Basil then turns to Manuel and triumphantly kisses him on the forehead and he strides toward the three gentlemen at the reception.  Basil then addresses them "Good afternoon, gentlemen!  And what can I do for you three gentleman?" but then the horrible realisation dawns on him that these are the real inspectors and he screams out loud "AGGGGHHHH!!!".

SUM UP

So, Hotel Inspectors is terrific and it more than deserves its place in the runner spot as it is nicely written, wonderfully performed, particularly by John Cleese and Bernard Cribbins, who are at loggerheads throughout.  It also is another example of the series clever structure and how events bubble and spiral out of control as things go along and it certainly stands out as one of the series best episodes.  

So, its now time for the No.1 episode of Fawlty Towers (for me anyway) which is.......

1. The Psychiatrist (Series 2) "Right, the game's up!!"

Yes, I didn't pick "The Germans" or "Gormet Night" or "Basil the rat", no for me "The Psychiatrist" is the best episode of Fawlty Towers and the reason being as it is a brilliantly funny story where we see Basil's neurosis get the better of him when a psychiatrist stays as a guest.  And later, Basil then tries to rumble one of the guests, Mr Johnson (Nicky Henson) who has smuggled in his girlfriend into his room and Basil overhears her and is determined to try and catch him with her.


THOUGHTS

Yes, this episode has everything that makes a great Fawlty Towers episode and its the way in which it sets itself up with events starting off pretty slow with Basil behind the desk at reception "enjoying himself" by mocking Mr Johnson, for wearing his shirt open to the waist and wearing alot of medallions.  And later on after Basil discovers the Abbots, a married couple, staying at the hotel, are both doctors and the male doctor is a psychiatrist, which makes Basil neurotic and nervous.  And after this Mr Johnson sneaks his girlfriend into his room and Basil later overhears them laughing together and Basil spends the rest of the episode trying to catch Johnson out.

However, Basil also get's into trouble with Sybil when he takes a very attractive, Australian girl, Raylene, up to her room and finds that the light switch isn't working and while trying to repair it, he accidentally feels around the door for the switch and grabs her boob instead!  And this of course happens just a second before Sybil walks into the room to hand in something that Raylene left in the lobby.  So from here, Basil has to up his efforts to try and find the girl and also try and not have Sybil divorce him for apparently "groping" the guests (i.e. Raylene) infront of her!

NOTABLE SCENES

As for "The Psychiatrists" notable scenes, well...just take your pick!


To start with there is the scene at the start where Mr Johnson (Nicky Henson) who's natural charm appeals to Sybil, who flirts with him.  So, as Mr Johnson makes a phone call to a friend of his and is kept waiting on hold, he is forced to listen to Sybil go on about her mother.  Sybil tells Mr Johnson "
She has these well, morbid fears they are, really. Vans is one. Rats Doorknobs Birds, heights, open spaces Confined spaces It's very difficult getting the space right for her, really. You know Footballs, bicycles, cows And she's always on about men following her. I don't know what she thinks they're going to do to her. Vomit on her, Basil says!".

Basil of course takes an immediate dislike to Mr Johnson at his appearance and his nature and he sharply asks him "Are you taking dinner here tonight?" and Mr Johnson asks "Sorry?" without looking up as he is looking at a book and Basil asks "Are you dining here tonight in this unfashoinable dump?!" and Mr Johnson says "I wasn't planning to".  Basil then annoyed further says "No, not really your scene here, is it?" and "Thought I'd try somewhere in town. Anywhere you'd recommend?" and Basil mockingly asks him "What sort of food were you thinking of? Fruit?!".  Mr Johnson however remain oblivious of Basil's mocking tone and asks "Anywhere they do French food?" and Basil sarcastically replies "Yes, France, I believe. They seem to like it there, and the swim would certainly sharpen your appetite. You'd better hurry. The tide leaves in six minutes!".

Sybil then reappears and recommends an eatery to Mr Johnson but Basil continues to mock him and says "Or that ancient Eygptian place?  The Golden Dog something....." but they both ignore him and Sybil politely says to Mr Johnson "Do enjoy yourself" and Mr Johnson walks off.  Sybil then furiously turns to Basil and quietly says to him "I have had it up to here with you(!)" and Basil asks her "What, dear?" and Sybil angrily says "You never get it right, do you? You're either crawling all over them, licking their boots, or spitting poison at them like some Benzedrine puff adder!".  Sybil then walks off, leaving Basil unfazed and he says to himself "I'm just trying to enjoy myself!".

Then there is the scene where Basil asks the Abbots, who are sitting down for dinner "So, are you both in general practice?" and Mrs Abbot says "No, I'm a paediatrician" and Basil asks "Feet?" and Mrs Abbot replies "Children".  Basil then asks Mr Abbot "And you doctor..." and Mr Abbot says "I'm a psychiatrist" and Basil instinctively takes Mr Abbot's glass of sherry and sips it and says "Very nice too. Cheers!" and he realises what he has done and says "I'll get you another, sorry".

Basil later in the kitchen, having become very edgy on learning that Mr Abbot is a doctor, says to Sybil "Just take it easy, okay? Just keep your distance. Remember who you are, all right? Just don't tell him too much about yourself, all right?!".  Sybil then says "Basil why are you so nervous? You liked him when you met and then you find out he's a psychiatrist...." and Basil suddenly yells "I'm not bothered about that!  If he wants to be a psychiatrist, that's his funeral!  They're as mad as bloody march hares anyway!  How does he earn his money? He gets he get paid for sticking his nose in to people's private parts...DETAILS!".  And as Sybil tries to calm Basil down, he then edgily says to her "You know what they're all obsessed with, don't you? You know what they say it's all about, don't you? Hmm? Sex. Everything's connected with sex. Huh! What a load of cobblers!".

Then as Basil goes out to get Mr Abbot to sign something, he goes back in and while he is away Mr Abbot says to Basil "We were just speculating how people in your profession arrange their holidays. How often you can get away. How often do you manage it?".  Basil is stunned by the question as he thinks that Mr Abbot is asking him about something else and Mr Abbot says "You don't mind my asking??" and Basil, still stunned says "Not at all...." and he has a think and says "About average".  Mr Abbot then asks "What would be average?" and Basil is gobsmacked and Mr Abbot asks him "Couple of times a year?  Once a year?  Well, we knew it must be difficult, my wife and I didn't see how you could manage it at all!".  Basil then replies "Well, as you've asked, two or three times a week, actually.  We're quite normal down here in Torquay, you know?!".

Another funny scene is where Basil takes the attractive Australian girl, Raylene Miles up to her room and he notices that the bathroom light switch isn't working, so will Raylene does some exercises to loosen herself up, Basil's hand comes round the corner of the door and contacts with her right breast, just as Sybil walks into the room.  Basil then enters the room and notices he has his hand on Raylene's boob and snatches it away instantly and Sybil looks not impressed and puts something down on the bed for Raylene and tells her "You left this downstairs".

So, Basil runs after Sybil to try and explain and he says "Sybil! I'm sorry. I didn't know she was there! - I was trying the switch!" but Sybil is not in the mood to listen and says "Its pathetic, Basil" but Basil still tries to explain "The lights weren't working in the bathroom, right? Okay? So I went in, checked the fitting, which was loose...".  Sybil then says "I've read about it, Basil. The male menopause it's called. Oh, and one word of advice: If you're going to grope a girl have the gallantry to stay in the room with her while you're doing it, hmm?!".

Then there is the scene where Basil overhears Mr Johnson from his hotel room, say the punchline of the joke he told Sybil earlier and Basil gives look of annoyance but then he hears a female laugh.  So, Basil goes over to the Mr Johnson's door and just as he does, Mr Johnson comes out and looks awkwardly at Basil.  Basil asks "Yes? Can I help you?" and Mr Johnson awkwardly says "Yes. I was wondering if I could get a drink...now.  Well a bottle of champagne". So, Basil tries to feel out Johnson and says to him "I see. You are aware of our rule about visitors, are you? Hmm? No visitors in guests' rooms after 10:00. Of the opposite sex".  Johnson replies "No.  But I am now.  So you will send up the champagne then, will you?".  Basil asks him "So, you will be drinking it on your own, will you?" and Johnson says "Yes, unless you care to join me" and Basil says "No thank you. Not while I'm on the job" and Johnson sarcily says "Oh, that's when I enjoy it most!" and he goes back into his room.

Another priceless moment is when Basil and Manuel go outside with a ladder and Basil climbs up it in an effort to get a look at the girl that Johnson has smuggled into his room.  However, Basil ends up looking into the Abbott's room just as they are getting ready for bed and Basil rather embarrassed, suddenly smiles at them and does his sounding thing to check the window (as earlier he pretended to check the walls by placing his hands on them in different places) and the ladder topples over with Basil lying flat on his back!

Manuel urgently then rushes back in and tells Sybil that Basil has fallen off a ladder, and Sybil asks him "What was he doing up a ladder??" and Manuel says "He was trying to the girl" and Sybil then becomes cross and asks "What?!".  Manuel then says "He try to see into room to see girl, she make him crazy!" and Sybil sharply says "I see!" and she storms out with Manuel.  Basil outside, has managed to get on his feet again and Sybil then marches up to him and Basil says "Hello, dear!  I was just..." and she delivers a mighty slap across his face that sends Basil right back down again and she turns about as storms back into the hotel.

In the next scene, Basil runs upstairs after Sybil to their bedroom door where Sybil hits him again and says angrily "How dare you?! What were you doing up that ladder?!" and Basil says "I was trying to see the girl!  Is that so strange?!" and she slaps him again and says "Stop hitting me!".  Sybil then snaps at him "Don't you dare try to come in here tonight!" and she slams the door in his face leaving Basil dumbfounded.  Basil turns to Manuel and says "Mad!  She's gone completely!" and Manuel says to him "She crazy!" and Manuel continues to explain "I say to her you try and see in girl's room and she go crazy.  I tell her you go to see girl in room. You crazy about this girl, okay? Okay, so You go up to try to look at her and Mrs. Fawlty, she go crazy!".  Basil, now quietly furious moves toward Manuel and picks him up and shakes him violently and shouts "I'm punishing you for being alive!!" but then he says Mrs Abbott appear and he drops Manuel and pretends that he is teaching Manuel self defence! 

Then there is the pricelss moment where Basil hides in the cupboard upstairs and the next morning, he waits behind the door for Johnson to come out his room with the girl.  So, as Basil hears Mrs Abbott come out Mr Johnson's room (to hand back Johnson's Torquay guide) he suddenly appears with a broom in his hand and shouts "Right! The game's up!!" and he freezes when he sees the couple and instantly says "A bit of game pie was stuck up there" and he sweeps the ceiling and Basil cheerfully says to them "Right, well enjoy your walk!".  And as the Abbotts walk downstairs, Mr Abbott says to his wife "There's enough material there for an entire conference!".

So then there is the moment where Basil in the broom cupboard knocks over a plastic bottle and picks it up only to reveal his hand is now covered in black sticky stuff.  So, in the next moment he hears a door open and he waits to pounce and we see Raylene walk across the hallway and Basil suddenly springs on her, grabbing her and shouts "Right!  That's it!".  Raylene, startled screams out "Jesus!  What's going on?!" and Basil is instantly apologetic and says "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" and Raylene, aghast says "You scared the hell out of me!!".  And at this point, Sybil appears and we see that Basil's sticky hand has left a mark on Raylene's top right on her chest area!

And then we get to the great moment where after Basil goes in to ask Raylene to leave, he hides in the wardrobe when Sybil comes in and notices his finger sticking out the door to keep it shut and she opens the door and Basil bluffs her saying "Hello, dear! Just checking the doors!".  Sybil, disgusted with Basil, says "Do you really believe in your wildest DREAMS that a girl like this could possibly be interested in an aged, brilliantined stick insect like you?!".  Basil then admits he came to apologise for putting his hand on Raylene's breasts and she shuts the wardrobe door on him and walks out and Basil get's after her and tries to explain.

However, Sybil is not interested and says to Basil "Why can't you be a man? If you want to grope the guests, why can't you at least be honest about it without making up some pathetic song and dance..." and Basil has finally had enough and shouts "Shut up!!".  Sybil, now even angrier says "Oh, you've done it now!" and makes to move off but Basil grabs her by the arm and says "No, I'm just going to!  I'm fed up with you, you rancorous, coiffeured old sow! Why don't you syringe the donuts out of your ear and get some sense into the dormant organ you keep hidden in that rat's maze of yours?!!".  Basil then forcefully grabs her and leads toward Johnson's door and indicates to it and angrily says "There is a woman in that room, that Johnson smuggled in last night! That's the woman I've been trying to get hold of!!".  So, Basil forcefully pushes Sybil back and says to her "Stand there!  And watch!" but by this time, Johnson has managed to smuggle his girlfriend out of his room without Basil knowing.

So, as Basil asks Johnson "It's just that I thought that I'd rather formed the impression that there was someone in the room, there, with you. A female person!".  Johnson says to Basil "Mrs Johnson is in here, yes" and Basil asks her who she is and Johnson replies "She's my mother".  And Basil suddenly smug puts on a cockney accent and says " Your mother? Oh, I see. This bit of crumpet's your old mummy, is she? Oh, this is rich. Old mother Johnson popped up for a quickie, did she? May I meet her?!".  Johnson says rather wearily "Certainly!" and he goes back into the room and Basil mockingly says "Mother Johnson!  Come out!  Come out!  Wherever you are!".  Suddenly a sweet old lady appears and Basil instantly switches on his charm and shakes her hand and says "How do you do?  Are you enjoying your stay here?" and Mrs Johnson smiles and says "Yes thank you" and Basil says "Well, this calls for a celebration!" and everyone walks away and Mr Johnson goes back in his room.

So the episode ends with Basil, now utterly mortified, puts his head in his hands and squats on the floor, pulling his jacket over his head, he starts doing some frog-like leaps of agony just as the Abbotts once again appear at the wrong time and witness him doing something mad.  Mrs Abbott then turns to her husband for advice, who simply says to her "I'm on holiday!" and they go into their room, while Basil oblivious, falls on the floor into a foetal position.

SUM UP

 You never get it right, do you? You're either crawling all over them, licking their boots, or spitting poison at them like some Benzedrine puff adder.

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=fawlty-towers&episode=s02SUM 

So, yes, "The Psychiatrist" is an episode that just builds and builds the comedy up brilliantly throughout and its also another great example of just how neurotic Basil can really be and how as Sybil says of the way he treats the guests, that he's either "licking their boots or spitting poison at them like some benzedrine puff adder!".


Whatever way you want to look at it, I think its a hilarious, great episode and more than deserves to take the top spot here.

Right, so that's it for now and I will be back soon with another post in December (can't believe we are nearly at the end of the year already!).

So, till then, its bye for now!

Top 5 Fawlty Towers Episodes Part 1 - No.5-3

 OK, I thought I would a top 5 list for a wee change than my usual review posts as I have been watching quite a few episodes of the classic comedy TV series, Fawlty Towers lately, so I figured why not do a list of my favourite episodes of the show.   

The series premise as we all know is that it is set in a Toruqay hotel run by the obnoxious and neurotic, Basil Fawlty (John Cleese) and his bossy yet more genial wife, Sybil (Prunella Scales).  And the other regular characters feature, Polly (Connie Booth) a more sensible and capable young chambermaid and receptionist and the hapless Spanish waiter, Manuel (Andrew Sachs).

And because these posts tend to be big, I thought I would split this list into two parts, so the posts aren't too gargantuan!  

So with that all said, let's check in and see what episodes are on the list....

5. The Builders (Series 1) "You are a hideous orangutan!"

Right, so to kick off the list at No.5 is this hilarious episode, "The Builders" which after the pilot episode "A Touch of Class", this episode was the one that really set the tone for the rest of the show and in doing it features many priceless moments, not to mention it sees John Cleese perhaps at his most manic in the show.  Also in this episode, Cleese is appallingly violent to Andrew Sachs, who of course plays the hotel's hapless, Spanish waiter, Manel but I'll get to that in a bit.

STORY 
 

So, basically the episode's story revolves around the hotel needing some renovation work done to the lobby area.  However, Basil wants to use the cheap but very unreliable Irish builder, O'Reilly (David Kelly) than the more reputable builder, Mr Stubbs (James Appleby) which Sybil wants to do the job.  Basil however underhandedly manages to get O'Reilly and his men to do the job, however they bungle it, much to Basil's fury, which also incurs Sybil's wrath when she get's back and sees the mess O'Reilly's men have done to the lobby and she furiously attacks him with an umbrella.

And after Sybil calls Mr Stubbs to arrange to look at the lobby instead and she leaves, Basil insists that O'Reilly continue the work again to put his mess again to rights.  But will O'Reilly be able to complete the job well enough without Sybil knowing????

NOTABLE SCENES 

So, yes this episode has plenty of great moments such as the one where O'Reilly's men show up to do the work and Manuel and Polly have been left to run the hotel, however Polly at this point is having a sleep, so Manual has little choice but to manage things.  And Manuel's poor grasp of English at this point get's him into trouble as he get's on the wrong side of one of O'Reilly's men, Lurphy (Michael Cronin).  And Manuel asks them "You are men???" and Lurphy annoyed asks him "You trying to be funny?!" and Manual asks "You are Orely men?!" and one of the other works eventually catches and says "He means O'Reilly!".  So, Lurphy laughs and says "Yes, that's right!  We are Orely men!" and he turns to the others and quietly says "Thick as a plank".

But then Basil calls up at the hotel to speak to Polly only to get Manuel, who doesn't realises who it is, who get's increasingly annoyed every time Basil calls.  So on the last call, Manuel grabs the phone and aggressively shouts "YES?? YES??? YES???!  Oh, you again!  He not here!  Where are your ears you great big halfwit?!  He no here!".  However, Manuel soon realises he is talking to Basil and he drops the phone fearfully and picks it up and as he talks to Basil, he then asks the men "Which one of you is man with beard?!" and Lurphy steps forward.  So, as Basil tells Manuel something over the phone, Manuel puts the phone down and says to Lurphy "You are a hideous orangutan!" prompting Lurphy punch Manual in the face!

Then there is the scene where the following morning, Basil returns to see that O'Reilly's men have botched the job and his fury mounts as he yells for Polly and Manuel.  And Polly comes down and Basil grabs and says "What have you done to my dining room door?!  Look!".  Polly then blames Basil for hiring O'Reilly and warns him that he would have made a mess.  However, Basil then sarcastically says to Polly "I was thinking it was your fault because you'd been left in charge, or Manuel's for not waking you, and all the time, it was my fault. It so obvious, I've seen the light.  I must be punished, mustn't I?".  So, Basil mockingly spanks his bottom and says "You're a naughty boy, Fawlty! Don't do it again!" and he manically clenches his fists and shouts re: Sybil "What am I gonna do?! She's going to be back at lunchtime!!".  Basil then frantically shouts "I'm a dead man, don't you realise?!  You're dead too, we're all DEAD!!!" and Polly tries to calm him down and shouts "Don't panic!" but Basil now delirious shouts "WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO???!!" and he sobs loudly.  Polly then shouts at him "Pull yourself together!!  Come on!" and slaps him in the face, which snaps Basil out of his wailing and he asks her to slap him again twice, which brings him to his senses.

Basil then calls O'Reilly and sarcastically says to him "How would you like to hear about things my end? Up to your usual standard, I think I could say A few holes in the floor The odd door missing, but nothing you can't be sued for!".  And then Manuel unfortunately shows up at this point, cheerful as ever, only for Basil to try and conceal his anger and he tells O'Reilly "One moment please" and puts the phone down and goes over to Manuel.  So, Basil asks him "What you do now?!" and Manuel says "I server breakfast!" however as Manuel tries to go into the dining room he sees it has been sealed off by O'Reilly's men.  Manuel then says "Where is door?!  Door was here!!" and Basil grins manically and asks "Where?" and he grabs Manuel's head and violently slams it against the wall three times in different places and yells "HERE???!! HERE???!! OR HERE??!!!".  Basil then get's back on the phone and demands O'Reilly come back and fix the mess "No, I don't want to debate about it. If you're not over here in 20 minutes with my door, I shall come over there and insert a large garden gnome in you, good day!".

Then there is the priceless scene where Sybil returns only to find O'Reilly already there and it is soon apparent to her that Basil hired O'Reilly to do the job.  So, Sybil tells Basil firmly "I'm going to make you regret this for the rest of your life, Basil." and Basil, now terrified tries to bluff her "Fair enough but Stubbs is partly to blame...".  Sybil then explodes in fury "BASIL!!!  Don't you dare give me anymore of these pathetic lies!" and Basil says resignedly "Oh, right".  Sybil then rants at Basil "I'm sick to death of you. You never learn, do you? You never, EVER LEARN!!!! We have used O'Reilly three times in the last year and each time it has been a fiasco! That wall out there is still not done! You got him in to change a washer in november and we didn't have any running water for two weeks!".  And as Basil makes a poor attempt to defend O'Reilly, she angrily says just as O'Reilly appears behind her "He's shoddy, he doesn't care, he's a liar, he's incompetent, he's lazy, he's nothing but a half-witted, thick, Irish joke!".

So, as O'Reilly makes the mistake of trying to charm Sybil and says "I like a woman with spirit!" and Sybil asks him "Oh, do you?  Is that what you like?!" and O'Reilly smiles and says "I do! I do!" and Sybil says "Oh, good!".  Sybil then goes and get's an umbrella and advances on O'Reilly and Basil get's in the way and says "Right, Sybil that's enough!" and Sybil hits Basil in the shin and then goes on delivers a flurry of blows to O'Reilly, who screams out helplessly.  And Sybil furiously says to O'Reilly "I have seen more intelligent creatures lying on their backs at the bottom of ponds. I've seen better organized creatures than you running around farmyards with their heads cut off! Now collect your things, and get out!".  Sybil then smacks O'Reilly's bottom with the umbrella and shouts "I never want to see you or any of your men in my hotel again!".

So, after Sybil goes, Basil demands that O'Reilly get back to work to put the job right and he tells them firmly "Where are you going?! Please take your tools back and continue with the work!".  And as O'Reilly is reluctant to carry on, Basil firmly says "We're not going to just put that door back and take that one out. We'll close that one off and put that one through as well. We're going to do the best day's work you've ever done, O'Reilly!!".

However in the end it all goes belly up as the next day when Sybil returns even though O'Reilly appears to have done the job well, Mr Stubbs shows up and tells Sybil that they used a supporting wall to do the job and it "could give way at any minute!".  So, Basil storms out carrying Sybil's garden gnome and Sybil calls after him "Basil, where are you going?!" and Basil says to her without looking back "I'm going to see Mr. O'Reilly, dear. Then I think I might go to Canada!".

So, "The Builders" is a priceless episode and more and deserves to be at No.5 on the list.

4. Waldorf Salad (Series 2) "What is a waldorf?!  A walnut that's gone off??!"

At No.4 is "Waldorf Salad" which must have some of the most quotable lines of dialogue ever from any of the episodes of the show.  Its also a great laugh because Basil finally meets a guest, which he is genuinely scared of in the brash, aggressive American, Mr Hamilton, who is the one who asks him that memorable question "How about Waldorf salad?".

STORY 
 
So, to quickly recap the story, on a very busy night at the hotel, Mr and Mrs Hamilton show up (Bruce Boa and Claire Nelson respectively) expecting to get dinner however they have arrived too late, as the chef, Terry (Brian Hall) has finished for the evening.  Mr Hamilton then bribes Basil money to keep the kitchen open, so they can get their dinner.  However as Mr and Mrs Hamilton sit down for dinner, Mr Hamilton confuses Basil as he asks for a "screwdriver" which is American slang for a vodka and orange juice.  And to make matters worse, Mr Hamilton asks if Basil can make him a waldorf salad, as a starter, to which Basil has no idea what he means.  At this point, Hamilton becomes very aggressive and demands Basil find out if the chef, Terry knows how to make one (however Terry has already gone for the night!).

And its from here that Basil's mishaps and basic inability to get a waldorf salad right and his insistance to put things to right with an imaginary Terry that ultimately cause Mr Hamilton's short fuse to blow and its safe to say that things soon get out of hand....

THOUGHTS 
 
Well, there is no doubt that this was next to "The Germans" the most popular episode of the series and rightly so as it is hilariously funny.  And its an episode where we get to see another peak at Basil's madness as he goes as far as to argue with an imaginary Terry to keep up the charade that Terry was in the kitchen, messing up the food!  And again its another one where Basil really goes off the rails at the end in a hilarious fashion!  Special credit also deserves to go out to the Canadian actor, Bruce Boa, who is great here as Mr Hamilton, the brash American, who bosses Basil around.  

NOTABLE SCENES 

And the the episode itself has plenty of great moments, such as the scene where Mrs Hamilton arrives at reception and Basil notices she is very attractive, so he is automatically charming to her, however its not long before her American and aggressive husband, Mr Hamilton arrives.  And in the scene Mr Hamilton enters with his coat, soaked from the rain outside and he brushes himself off and says "What a drive, huh? Everything on the wrong side of the road, the weather What do you get for living in a climate like this, Green Stamps? It's terrible!".  Basil then replies "Oh, I'm sorry if it wasn't wide enough for you. A lot of the English cars have steering wheels!".

So, as Mr Hamilton asks if they need to reserve a table for dinner, Basil tells them that their chef stops at 9pm.  So, Mr Hamilton, unimpressed, asks "9?!  Hmm!  So, why does your chef stop at 9?!  Has he got something terminal!?".  Basil then replies "No, that is in fact when he stops" so Mr Hamilton says "Now, look, we drove from London to stay here, right? Are you telling me that you can't stay open a few minutes longer so that we can eat properly?".  Basil then says "We can do you sandwiches?" but Mr Hamilton insists "We want something hot!" and Basil offers "Toasted sandwiches?" and Mr Hamilton says "You're joking!".  Mr Hamilton in a state of disbelief then loudly asks "Can you believe this? What the hell's wrong with this country?! You can't get a drink after 3:00, you can't eat after 9:00! Is the war still on?!".

So, as Basil says its because of the staff, Mr Hamilton then firmly says "OK, how much of this Mickey Mouse money do you want to keep the chef on for half an hour?  One, two, three...20 pounds!  That enough?!".  Basil looks at the money, then takes a moment and says "I'll see what I can do" and Mr Hamilton says "Thank you".

Then there is of course the classic scene where Basil parrots on about the novelist, Harold Robbins, producing awful books but then Mr Hamilton tells Basil that he and his wife both like his work, so, Basil starts to backpedal and says "Oh Robb-ins!  Harold Robb-ins!  I thought you meant Harold Robinson!".  So, Mr Hamilton having looked at the menu, then asks "How about waldorf salad?" and Basil carries on waffling about Harold Robinson being awful, so Mr Hamilton again asks Basil "Can you make me a waldorf salad?" and Basil looks lost and asks "A what?" and Mr Hamilton firmly says "Waldorf salad!".  So, Basil, perplexed says "I think we've just run out of waldorfs!" much to Mr Hamilton's disbelief once again, who says "I don't believe this!".

So, Mr Hamilton tries to stay calm and asks Basil "Now, I'm sure your chef knows how to make me a waldorf salad?" and Basil awkwardly says "I wouldn't be too sure" and Mr Hamilton says "But he's a chef, isn't he?".  Basil then tries to suggest something else but then Mr Hamtilon suddenly yells "WELL, FIND OUT WILL YOU?!  JUST GO IN THERE AND SEE IF HE CAN MAKE ME A WALDORF SALAD!!".  So, Basil nervously goes into the kitchen but emerges a few seconds later and says of the imaginary Terry "He's almost got it.  Its lettuce and tomato..." and Mr Hamilton snaps "No! Its apples, celery, walnuts, grapes!!!".

Basil then goes back in and asks Mr Hamilton if he would want any alternative to the waldorf salad and he suggests the grapefruit, which Mr Hamilton gives in and asks "The grapefruit! How's it done?"  And Basil replies "Well, it's halved with a cherry in the centre" which prompts Mr Hamilton to angrily pick up a fork and point it toward Basil and shout "Look! I haven't paid you £20 to have some guy cut a grapefruit in half and stick a cherry in the center!  I want a waldorf salad!!".  So, as Basil is about to head back to the kitchen he asks Mr Hamilton "And if we can't manage the waldorf salad..." which causes Mr Hamilton to become even more enraged.  So, Mr Hamilton yells louder "I WANT A WALDORF SALAD!!  AND TO FOLLOW A COUPLE OF FILET MIGNONS!" and Basil says "Steaks!" and Mr Hamilton says "Steaks!" and Mr Hamilton then sarcastically says "None out of the bottle!" and Basil says "None out of the bottle! Right!".

Then there is the hilarious moment where Basil frantically rummages through boxes in the kitchens looking for the ingredients to make the waldorf salad and Sybil joins him as he looks, as she overheard Mr Hamilton say he paid Basil 20 pounds.  So, in the scene, Sybil asks Basil "What this about 20 pounds, Basil?" and Basil tells her "He gave me 20 pounds to keep the kitchen open! Where does he put things?!".  Basil while rummaging rants "Walnuts! That's a laugh! Easier to find a packet of sliced hippopotamus in suitcase sauce than a walnut in this bloody kitchen!".  Sybil calmly looks for ingredients also and she says to Basil "Right, we've got apples" and Basil manically says "Terrific!  We'll have an apple party!! Everybody brings an apple and STUFFS IT DOWN SOMEBODY'S THROAT!!!".  Basil then asks Sybil "What is a waldorf?!  A walnut that's gone off?!" and Sybil tells Basil it refers to the Waldorf hotel in New York.

So, after that Basil goes out and makes up a story to Mr Hamilton about how a delivery driver was not able to deliver a stock of celery to them to which Mr Hamilton is not interested in at all.  So, as Basil finishes his story he says to him "Quite frankly, if you've got your health, what else matters?!".  Mr Hamilton then looks furiously at Basil and says "What a bunch of crap!" and Basil rather taken aback says "Do you think so?".  Mr Hamilton then stands up and yells at Basil "What the hell's going on here?! It says "Hotel" outside! Now, is this a hotel or isn't it?!!".  Mr Hamilton then says angrily to Basil "You know I've stayed in hotels all over the world and this is the first time I've had to bribe a chef to cook me a meal, then find out he doesn't even have the basic goddamn ingredients!!! Holy cow, can't you see what a crummy dump this is?!!!".  Mr Hamilton then yells at Basil to shut up and listen to him as Basil pretends to shout out to Terry and Mr Hamilton then insists that Basil straighten out the chef

So, Mr Hamilton says to Basil "You're the manager, so you're responsible?! So, what are you going to do about it?!" and Basil nervously says "I'll have a word with him".  Mr Hamilton then firmly says "Man, you gotta tell him, lay it on the line!  Tell him if he doesn't get on the ball, you're gonna bust his ass!".  Basil then asks "Bust his...?" and at this point Mr Hamilton advances to the kitchen shouting "I'll tell him!!!" but Basil stops him from going in and shouts "I'll tell him!!" and he takes a moment and then asks "But his???" and Mr Hamilton shouts "ASS!!" and Basil says "Oh that!".

And lastly there is the last scene where Mr Hamilton finds out that Basil has been pretending all along that the chef was there and he decides to leave and he has it out with Basil in the lobby, which attracts the attention of all the nearby guests.  So, as Mr Hamilton demands Basil ask his customers if they are satisfied they all at first politely say yes, which causes Basil to go into a proud patriotic speech, which is cut short by another guest standing behind him, who says "I'm not satisfied!" and this leads to all the guests expressing their disastisfaction with the service too.  So, Mr Hamilton smugly says to Basil "Satisfied customers, huh?!" and he grabs his tie and twists it out of shape and says "Hot dog!" and leaves.

Basil is then left in a state of frustration and mounting anger and he says to himself "This is typical...absolutely typical...of the kind of...." and he suddenly yells at the guests "ARSE!!!  I have to put up from you people!!!".  Basil then starts to rant at them "You ponce in here expecting to be hand-waited on hand and foot! I'm trying to run a hotel here! Have you any idea of how much there is to do? Do you ever think of that? Of course not! You're too busy sticking your noses into every corner, poking about for things to complain about, aren't you? Well, let me tell you something! This is exactly how Nazi Germany started!!!".

Basil then tells them to get out and he shouts "RAUS!! RAUS!! RAUS!!!" and when Sybil enters and asks what he is doing, Basil tells her "Well, me and the guests have been having a bit of a chinwag and the upshot is, they're off!".  And Sybil bemused asks "Off?!" and Basil tells her "Well, its like this.  Either they go or I go..." however he then changes his mind and tells the guests to come back and that he is going instead and he leaves and waves goodbye to everyone and walks out into the rain and as he stands there he has a thought and heads back in.  So, as Basil re-enters the hotel, he asks Sybil for a room "Now, I'd like breakfast in bed at half past 10:00 in the morning. That's eggs, bacon, sausage, and tomato with a Waldorf salad.....!".

So, "Waldorf Salad" is definitely one of the funniest episodes of the series and one of the best for good reason and its popularity is well deserved especially as it shows the difference between English and American cultures very nicely in such an exaggerated comical manner.  So, it deserves its place here at No.4 on the list.

3. Communication Problems "I know nothing!!"

So, at 3rd place is this episode that started off the second series "Communication Problems" which sees Basil, Sybil and the other staff have to deal with the very difficult, not to mention, hard of hearing and short sighted, Mrs Richards (Joan Sanderson).  Its a great start to the second series and it actually shows that John Cleese has started to exercise a little more restraint in his potrayal of Basil as he is slightly less manic (but only a little!).

STORY

Anyway but a bit about the story of the episode it begins with Mrs Richards showing up at the hotel where she argues with Polly straight off about being served first when there was a customer in line before her.  So, Polly decides to palm off Mrs Richards to Manuel, who's limited grasp of the English language makes Mrs Richards believe that the manager is called "CK Watt" and is aged forty.

Meanwhile, Basil recieves a betting tip on a racehorse from a rare satisfied customer, who tells the horse's name is dragonfly, however Sybil has forbidden Basil from betting anymore, so he decides to place the bet secretly with Manuel's help. Basil is also soon forced to deal with Mrs Richards, who complains that her room is inadequate because she believes it doesn't have a bath, the radiator doesn't work and view outside is invisible (although this is due to her poor vision).  Mrs Richards then demands she recieve a discount to which Basil tells her, Sybil deals with such arrangements.

Mrs Richards next up has another argument with Polly when she asks for toilet paper, however as she just refers to it as "paper", Polly assumes she meant writing paper and says they keep it in the lounge, so Mrs Richard bangs the reception bell and shouts for the manager.  Basil then appears and tries to explain to Mrs Richards that Polly thought she wanted writing paper and not toilet paper however Mrs Richards doesn't use her hearing aid as it runs the batteries down.  So, as Basil demands she turn it on and writes it on paper "TURN IT ON!" she says she needs her glasses, which she can't find but they are actually resting on her forehead and she walks off, leaving Basil exasperated.  Polly however then gives Basil his winnings from the race as the horses he bet on won, which amounts to £75.

Not long after this however, Mrs Richards then complains that £85 has been stolen from her room and insists that Basil have the rooms searched.  Sybil however soon finds Polly counting Basil's money in the office and assumes that she had found it and asks Polly about this, however she bluffs Sybil by saying she won it on the horse that Basil got a bet.  However as Sybil asks Polly what was the name of the horse, Basil frantically tries to illustrate what the name of the horse was, which Polly eventually get's, leaving Sybil suspicious that Basil may have placed a bet.  So, to cover himself, Basil then has the aged resident, Major Gowen (Ballard Berkeley) keep the money for him.

And the next day this leads into the climax of the episode where Basil has to deal with Mrs Richards and also the possibility that Sybil will find out about the bet on the horse.....

THOUGHTS

Communication Problems has always been a favourite episode of mine and it is aided along by a terrific and comical performance by Joan Sanderson as the belligerent, Mrs Richards, who makes life difficult for pretty much everybody she comes across.  Its also great to see the return of the main cast, who effortlessly ease back into their respective roles and John Cleese and Prunella Scales are both great as are Connie Booth and Andrew Sachs, who get's one of the most memorable lines from the series in this episode, which I will get to in a minute.

NOTABLE SCENES

As for some of the episode's notable scenes, well there are plenty of course and to start off there is the one where Polly has her first encounter with Mrs Richards but she quickly get's tired of dealing with her and passes her over to Manuel.  So, Polly says to Manuel "Manuel, could you lend Mrs.Richards your assistance in connection with her reservation?!".  So, Mrs Richards sharply says to Manuel "Now I've reserved a very quiet room with a bath and a sea view. I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation, so please make sure I have it".  However Manuel looks blankly at her and asks "Que?" and Mrs Richards starts getting confused by Manuel's Spanish accent and what he says.  So, she turns back to Polly and says "What is going on here? I ask him for my room, and he tells me the manager's a Mr. Watt, aged 40!" but Manuel tries again and says "No!  FAW-LTY!" and Mrs Richards says "Faulty?!  What's wrong with him?!".




Then there is the scene where Mrs Richards complains to Basil for the first time about her room, so he meets her upstairs.  So, Mrs Richards says to Basil "I was expecting a room with a view!" and Basil mutters to Manuel "Deaf, blind and mad(!)" and Basil says out loud to her "This is the view as far as I can remember, madam. Yes, yes, this is it!".  Mrs Richards, unimpressed then says to Basil "When I pay for a view, I expect something more interesting than that!" and Basil says to her "Well, that is Torquay, madam" and Mrs Richards says "Its not good enough!". 

So, Basil sarcastically says to her "Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically......!".  Mrs Richards interrupts Basil and says "Don't be silly!  I expect to see the sea" and Basil says "You can see the sea, its over there between the land and the sky!".  Mrs Richards protests "I need a telescope to see that!" and Basil says to her "Well, may I suggest that you consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea?!" and he says under his breath "Or preferably in it?!".

Another funny scene is where Mrs Richards is appalled when she asks Polly for toilet paper and she misunderstands her request believing she wants paper to write on, so Polly says they keep it in the lounge.  And this prompts a look of shock and horror from Mrs Richards who exclaims "IN THE LOUNGE??!!" and Polly asks "Do you want plain ones or ones with our address on it? How many sheets?" and this points, Mrs Richards, outraged, bangs the reception bell repeatedly and shouts "MANAGER!! MANAGER!!".  And this brings out Basil, who walks into the room holding his ears and he says "Yes! Testing--testing!". 

Then as Basil tries to explain that Polly thought that Mrs Richards wants writing paper, he insists that she turn on her hearing aid and he desparately says to her "Turn it on!" and he writes it on paper "TURN IT ON!!" and he shows it to Mrs Richards, who isn't wearing her glasses and she says "I can't read that, I need my glasses!".  So, Basil and Polly then try and explain as Mrs Richards rummages around her bag for her glasses that she has them ontop of her forehead and Basil tries to write it and says "Mrs Richards!  They are on your head!" and as he tries to write another note, he gives in and walks into the office.  Mrs Richards then comes back and says to Polly "Are you blind?!  They were on my head all the time!  Didn't you see?" and Polly says "Yes" and Mrs Richards asks "Didn't God give you eyes?!" and Polly sarcastically replies "Yes, but I don't use them because it wears the batteries out!".

Then there is there the scenes where Basil tries to explain to Manuel that he wants him to forget everything about the bet he placed on the horse but Manuel's limited grasp of English as usual, makes this difficult.  So, Basil says to Manuel "You know nothing!" and Manuel seems to take offence and says "You always say, Mr Fawlty but I learn!" and Basil says "No, no, no! You don't understand!  You know nothing about the horse".  Manuel then asks "Which horse?!  Which horse I know nothing??" and Basil says "MY horse, nitwit!" and Manuel says "Your horse "nitwit".  Basil then sharply says "There isn't a horse called nitwit, YOU'RE THE NITWIT!" and Manuel confused asks "What is witnit???".  So, Basil sighs and says "I could spend the rest of my life having this conversation!  Look, please try to understand before one of us dies!  You're going to forget everything you know about Nitwit" and Manuel corrects him "Dragonfly!" and Basil says "Dragonfly! Yes!".

And as Basil is about to finally walk away, Manuel then says "Eventually!" and Basil turns back and asks "What??" and Manuel says "Eventually....at the end!".  Basil then insists "No, forget it now!" and Manuel confused asks "Now????" and Basil then says "Well, pretend you forget!" and Manuel, confused, asks "Pretend?!".  And Basil finally says "Well, don't say anything to anyone about the horse!" and Manuel responds as if Basil has said something stupid and says "I know that, you tell me this morning!".

Then there is the funny moment where Polly tries to suss out the name of the horse that Basil bet on as she pretended that she was the one that placed the bet and Basil frantically stands behind Sybil miming to Polly what the name of the horse is.  So, as Basil starts to wildly mime clues, Polly says "The name? Uh I've gone blank. Birdbrain! Birdbrain? No, no, that came in third. Uh Fishwife! - What? - No No, not that. Small Fly! Fly! Flying Tart! No, no, no, it got off to a flying start, and it's name was Dragonfly!".  So, Sybil says "Thank you, Polly" and seconds just before that, Basil runs off into the lobby and back behind the reception, pretending to do some work.  Sybil then walks up to him and warns him "If I find out the money on that horse was yours, you know what I'll do, Basil..." and she walks off and Basil looks and shouts out "You'll have to sew em back on first!".

Another funny scene is when Mrs Richards complains to Basil and Sybil that money has been stolen from her room and as Mrs Richards challenges Basil on what he will do about it, he starts to mouth his words to her in pretend, forcing Mrs Richards to turn up her hearing aid.  And as Mrs Richards asks "What have you got to say for yourself????!" Basil after silently mouthing words, yells "I SAID I SUGGEST!!!" which causes Mrs Richards to reel back and hit her head on the wall.  And Mrs Richards grabs her head and says "Oh, my head!" and Basil asks her "Has it come away?!" and "You better lie down before something else happens!" followed by him picking something up from the floor and asking her "Is this a piece of your brain??!!".
 
Just quickly there is also of course the classic line from Manuel when Basil pleads with him to tell Mrs Richards that the money the Major gave her was infact his that he won on the horse.  However, Manuel instead stands proudly and announces "I know nothing!" and Basil realises in horror what he means and says "No!  No!  You can tell her!!" and he trembles with rage and says "Please tell her!! Tell her!".  However, Manuel carries on saying "I know nothing!  I cannot!" and he walks up to Mrs Richards and says proudly "I am from Barcelona!" and he walks away.

And last of all there is the scene where the day after Basil gives his winnings to the Major to look after, Basil asks for it back from him, only for the Major to temporarily lose track of where he kept it but to suddenly find and announce it when Sybil and Mrs Richards are there, leaving them to believe its her money instead.  So as the Major hands the money to Mrs Richards, she counts it and says "Its 10 pound short!" and Basil feigns shock and says "Its not!!! 10 pounds short?!  Oh my God!  Don't worry!  We'll have a whip round!" and he starts to frantically try and extract money from a coin box, which prompts Sybil to throw coffee on him (and some on the Major also!).

So, after, Sybil says to Basil "Give it to her, Basil.  I can't find it.  Give her 10 from the till" so Basil angrily says "Right!" so he goes over to the till and bangs his head against it to open it and he takes out the money and he then starts taking his shirt off.  Sybil looks on in surprise and asks "What are you doing?!" and Basil tells her "I'm gonna give her the shirt off my back, too!" and Manuel suddenly turns repeating what he said early "I know nothing!" and Basil glares at him and says "I'm gonna send you to a vivisectionist!". 

And last of all, when a man finally shows up with Mrs Richards money and a vase, Basil takes it from her and he kisses the sky (as if to God) and he gleefully tells Polly "Polly, for the first time in my life, I'm ahead!  I winning!".  So, as Mrs Richards turns up, he laughs triumphantly and asks her to confirm if the money she has is hers or his and she says its hers.  So, Basil gives her another 10 pounds to make up for her shortfall but she notices his money and asks him "What's that?" and he grins and says "This is mine!".  However, as Sybil shows up, he bluffs that the money is Polly's but then it all goes to pot when the Major turns up and announces "Fawlty, you DID give me that money!  You won it on that horse!".  And this prompts, Basil, who was holding Mrs Richards vase, to drop it and it smashes on the floor, prompting Mrs Richards to sharply say "That cost 75 pounds!" so Basil then loses most of his winnings. 




SUM UP

So to sum up, "Communication Problems" is another great episode and its filled with priceless moments from John Cleese, not to mention Andrew Sachs memorable "I know nothing!" line and of course a terrific performance by Joan Sanderson as the impossible to please and deal with, Mrs Richards.  And for me it is easily one of my favourites from the show as it all builds nicely towards the episode's climax where it inevitably all goes pear shaped for Basil.

Right, so that's finally it for Part 1 and I will be back again soon with Part 2 where I will look at my top 2 choices for my favourite Fawlty Towers episodes.

So, until then its bye for now!

What a drive, huh? Everything on the wrong side of the road, the weather What do you get for living in a climate like this, Green Stamps? It's terrible! Sorry about this.

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=fawlty-towers&episode=s02e03What a drive, huh? Everything on the wrong side of the road, the weather What do you get for living in a climate like this, Green Stamps? It's terrible! Sorry 

He's shoddy, he doesn't care, he's a liar, he's incompetent, he's lazy, he's nothing but a half-witted, thick, Irish joke! 

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=fawlty-towers&episode=s01e02

He's shoddy, he doesn't care, he's a liar, he's incompetent, he's lazy, he's nothing but a half-witted, thick, Irish joke! 

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=fawlty-towers&episode=s01e02

He's shoddy, he doesn't care, he's a liar, he's incompetent, he's lazy, he's nothing but a half-witted, thick, Irish joke! 

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_e