GTA San Andreas 20th Anniversary Review (Revisited)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, since its the 20th anniversary of the classic action game, GTA San Andreas, I figured I would re-do my previous review of the original game a bit for this occassion. I will also incorporate in some aspects of the definitive edition remaster of the game, which was a disaster on release in 2021 but has since been patched well enough.

So, with that said let's take another look at this GTA classic and see how it fairs 20 years later...

And here is the usual warning: 

PLOT SPOILERS ARE AHEAD!!!

STORY 

So, it all begins in Los Santos (based on Los Angeles) back in 1992, when Carl "CJ" Johnson (voiced by hip-hop artist Young Maylay) returns back to his home to attend his mother's funeral.  CJ goes back home to his neighbourhood where he meets up with his brother, Sweet (Faizon Love), and his gangster friends Ryder (MC Eiht) and Big Smoke (Clifton Powell).  Together they go about trying to re-establish themselves as the main gang in Los Santos, and they also hijack shipments of weapons, and starting turf wars with their main rivals, the Ballas and the Vagos.

CJ is also along the way also forced to help two corrupt police officers, Frank Tenpenny (Samuel L.Jackson) and Eddie Pulaski (Chris Penn) into doing their dirty work for them, who work for the CRASH police program (Community Resources Against Street Hoodlums).  CJ manages however to maintain good relations with his brother and his friends, as well as earning respect in their neighbourhood.  But its not long before things start to turn sour again as CJ receives a tip from Caesar Vialpando (Clifton Collins Jr) who is his sister's boyfriend.

Caesar meets with CJ secretly under a bridge where they spy on Big Smoke and Ryder coming out garage with a green sabre, the car which was seen during the drive-by hit on CJ's mother.  CJ realises then that Sweet, who is going on a gang mission, that he is walking into a trap set up by Tenpenny.  CJ arrives too late on the scene to prevent the ambush, and Sweet is injured by a gunshot, and after making a last stand, the police arrive and CJ is arrested, and taken out into the San Andreas countryside by Tenpenny.

Tenpenny wants CJ to assassinate a witness who is a threat to him and his partner Eddie, and with little choice CJ does the hit.  CJ soon after is also called up by a stranger called the Truth (Peter Fonda) who was recruited by Tenpenny as well to prepare in discrediting a district attorney.  The Truth is an old hippie and marijuana farmer, who naturally pretty spaced out, and sends CJ to do different missions.  CJ also is set up to meet one of Caesar's cousins, the crazed Catalina (Cynthia Farrell) who he does some robberies with, and also engages in some rather kinky sex (we hear it rather than see it!).

CJ through Caesar also hears about some underground street races out in the country, and he ends up racing against Catalina, and after winning the race, she hands over the deeds to a garage she owns in San Fierro (the equivalent of San Francisco).  CJ along with Caesar, and his sister Kendl (voiced by rapper Yo-Yo) and the Truth all travel out to San Fierro, however they find the garage to be empty and deserted, which angers CJ.  Kendl manages to persuade CJ to turn it into a business, and he ends up recruiting a couple of mechanics and an electronics whiz named Zero (David Cross) in order to do so.  As the business starts to turn a profit, CJ also befriends a Triad leader, the blind Wu Zi Mu "Woozie" (James Yaegashi) and does some business with him as well.

Eventually CJ also travels out to Las Venturas (based on Las Vegas) where he meets up with some more business associates.  Along the way however he is intercepted by a secret government agent by the name of Mike Toreno (James Woods) who asks him to do some work for him, and in return he will secure Sweet's release.  And to cut a long story short, its not long before CJ eventually makes his way back to Los Santos, where things have gone from bad to worse, where Big Smoke rules the roost and has filled the city with drug addled gangsters and its to CJ to put an end to it once and for all.   

THOUGHTS  

There is no doubt that GTA San Andreas is a superb game and its ambitious scale alone makes it a very worthy gaming experience.  The transition to not only a new city, but a new state also expands on the game's appeal considerably, as now the main character can travel from place to place over a vast area and three different cities. And its the game's scale, characters, combat and overall fun experience that makes it one of the greatest GTA games and indeed one of the modern greats in gaming. 

GAMEPLAY

The gameplay mechanics have also improved quite a bit as well, as now with the main character, CJ, he can also sorts of things such as learn new differet styles of attacks such as boxing, martial arts as well as dirty street fighting. I will break down the different aspects of the gameplay in paragraphs below further.

GYM TRAINING 

CJ can also do something about his physical appearance as he can work out at the gym, and either build up his body by lifting weights, or build up stamina and endurance on an exercise bike or a treadmill, and he can even put on weight by eating too much!  Apparently there was even a rumour going around that CJ could eat too much and become so overweight that he would eventually keel over and die, but I tried stuffing CJ full of food for ages and it never happened! However every time CJ overeats, he will throw up and lose a bit of his health bar so he could die that way right enough!

MOVEMENT AND CHARACTER STATS

Unlike the previous main characters such as Claude and Tommy (in GTA III and Vice City respectively) CJ now has the ability to swim and climb over fences, as well as to crouch while moving. CJ can also even get a new haircut as well as get tatoos, and in addition to the pre-determined outfits you get from Vice City, here CJ can go into cloth stores and chose his own gear, which can also add to his sex appeal (which is shown as bar meter along with his other aspects such as muscle, stamina, fat and weapon skill).

DATING 

CJ can also go out on dates with girls and there is of course a progress metre for that as well, and CJ can pick up different girlfriends in the different locations in the game, all of whom have different tastes for food, bars, events etc.  And if the date goes well then some idyllic, romantic music is played but if it goes badly then rather amusingly we used to hear "Killing in the name of" by Rage Against The Machine play over the cutscene! However since the original release, RATM's track no longer features on the soundtrack, so its just the usual romantic theme instead.      

MISSIONS 

Again there is a huge variety of missions here as well, with CJ having more than just the option of playing the story missions (which are really varied as it is) but he can also play minigames such as burgalries, go on trucking missions, take lessons at an advanced driving school, get involved in street races, and also playing pool, arcade games and basketball. Further to this in the Xbox 360 version of the game, the missions will also feature checkpoints, which is very welcome and more recently in the definitive edtion remaster, it also features checkpoints as well as an autosave feature after completing a mission.

GANG WARS AND TURFS 

Another key factor in the game is also the gang wars, where CJ will have to take over different turfs in the city, owned by other gangs such as the Ballas, which is done by killing a few gang members, which sparks a gang war, after which CJ must survive a wave of attacks from the gangs, after which he takes over the turf.  This plays a crucial part later on in the game when CJ returns to Los Santos as he must take over at least 35% of the gang turfs in Los Santos in order to activate the final story mission (called The End of the Line).

VEHICLES 

In addition to this, there are also a large variety of vehicles to use, as in addition to the usual cars, there are bicycles, a combine harvester, a trailer, street sweeper being some of the more novelty type modes of transportation.  There is also the inclusion of planes and helicopters as there is a variety of these two, although CJ's necessity to learn to fly prompts one of the game's most frustrating missions, which I will say a bit more about later.

VOICE ACTING AND MUSIC (Warning: this section contains strong language and spoilers!)

As for the voice acting, again things are top notch with a great cast. 

Starting with real life hip-hop artist, Young Maylay putting in an excellent performance as the central character, Carl "CJ Jonhson, who returns to Los Santos after five years and makes a name for himself again.  CJ is a pretty likeable character despite all his crimes, most of them are done out of either survival, necessity or being purely manipulated, but as a character he nevers get ahead of himself, and he carries that way till the end. Young Maylay, or to use his real name, Chris Bellard, did not get on well with Rockstar as he had a fallout with them after the game released and claimed he would never work for them again afteward.

Maylay also get's some great lines throughout the game such as when he is driving and he bumps into someone and he comes out with lines such as "Are you a professional moron, or just a gifted amateur??!" or "Did you steal your licence???!".

Maylay also has some great scripted moments in the game's cutscenes that include the scene where CJ arrives at the empty garage in San Fierro, which Catalina gave him the deeds for.  And when he arrives he angrily shouts about Claude "Mother-fucker! That mute asshole! That fucking snake without a tongue! Gave me this shit-hole instead of a pink slip? I must be the biggest fucking idiot in the whole fucking world!".  

Then there are the scenes where CJ is out robbing with Catalina and he talks to her of her psychotic behaviour when they are driving and he says to her "You're a great girl and all, but you've gotta calm down!  I know some cold blooded cats that wouldn't act the way you do!".  Or there is the moment where CJ and Catalina rob a bank together and she tells him what to do crowd control and not to take any "shit!" and CJ sarcastically replies "Yes, Miss Catalina, Miss!!".

In another mission cutscene, Maylay has a good dramatic moment where CJ sits in deep thought, feeling guilty (SPOILER!!) over killing his former "homie" Ryder.  And as Caesar arrives to congratulate CJ on taking down Ryder and his drug syndicate saying that people think he is a hero, and CJ somberly says to him "Shit's still fucked up. Man, I got homies I used to run with that turn their back on me, over this".  And CJ continues, lamenting over Ryder "Fucking Ryder man! That was my homie! And I've killed him!".  

Another good moment in one of the mission's "Vertical Bird" (also one of the most frustrating!) is when CJ steal a jet fighter and uses to bomb some ships in the ocean and Mike Toreno keeps in contact with CJ by radio.  And Toreno says to CJ "You see?? Child's play!" and CJ yells "FUCK YOU, TORENO!!  I NEVER WANNA GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN!! I THINK I'M GONNA HURL!!".  And Toreno teases Carl and CJ shouts at him "Shut up, Toreno!! Where do you want this thing???!" and Toreno fobs him off by saying "I don't know what you're talking about!" and CJ continues to yell at him "TORENO!!".

Samuel L. Jackson as you would expect does a great job as the corrupt copy, Tenpenny, who uses CJ as his own personal puppet and forces him to do his dirty work throughout the game.

Sam naturally of course has some great lines and moments in the story that include the cutscene in the mission "Burning desire" where Tenpenny warns CJ that he owns him.  And Tenpenny says to CJ "Now you get this straight. We own you! You're ours. We can shit on you from such a height you'll think God himself has crapped on you! You understand?!".  

Another good moment from Sam comes in the cutscene for "The Green Sabre" where Tenpenny and his crooked cop partner, Pulaski take CJ out into the middle of the country.  And CJ asks where he is and Tenpenny says to him "The middle-of-fucking-nowhere!  Nice, clean air".  And CJ asks of Sweet (who was badly injured during the events of the mission" and Tenpenny tells him "Sweet is alive. Alive and inside. He's in a prison hospital being treated for gunshot wounds, awaiting trial".  And then Tenpenny warns CJ to say away from Smoke and himself "Now you stay the fuck away from Smoke, and stay the fuck away from us. Otherwise Sweet is going to find himself on a Ballas block getting in touch with his feminine side!". 

Then there is the cutscene from the mission "High Noon" where (SPOILER!!) Tenpenny is about to tie up all his loose ends by finally killing off CJ and his fellow cop, Hernandez, who betrayed him.  And in the scene, Tenpenny angrily hits Hernandez on the back of the head with a spade and yells at him "YOU SNITCH PIECE OF SHIT! YOU VATO ASSHOLE! YOU SOLD US OUT!".  And Tenpenny get's into his car and Pulaski asks where he is going and Tenpenny sharply replies "To get drunk and get laid - you got a problem with that?!!" and Pulaski says no and then Tenpenny says "Good. I'll see you back at the precinct" and he looks to CJ and says "And I'll see YOU in the next life, Carl!".   

 

And last of all is the cutscene from the final mission "The End of the Line" where (BIG SPOILER!) CJ kills Big Smoke, Tenpenny shows up with a shotgun and tells CJ of his plan to flee the city. So, in the scene Tenpenny says to CJ "Carl Johnson my man! First you killed Pulaski then this fat fuck?! There's no stopping you!". 

 

Tenpenny then has CJ fill up a suitcase with some of Smoke's drug money and CJ asks "How does it feel being all alone? Nobody got your back?" and Tenpenny says "What makes you think I'm alone? I've got two rookies out there, but I gotta open their eyes slowly, a little truth here, a little there...". Then Tenpenny says to CJ "I'm not about to get killed by some angry mob" and CJ asks "You getting a plane out of here?" and Tenpenny says "Ding ding ding ding! Good answer, Carl! You know you're gonna thank me one day for opening your eyes. Oh, I almost forgot Carl..." and he cocks his shotgun and says "...its time to die!". CJ then tries to distract Tenpenny by pretending Sweet is behind them and he ducks for cover as Tenpenny shoots at him but misses and grabs the suitcase and backs out and says "It ain't, Carl! It ain't over!".  

Faizon Love as Sweet, CJ's brother, is also excellent, and he stands as just about one of the only old school gangsters around, as he is sickened by all the drugs that festers his neighbourhood.

Faizon has some good moments aswell although his performance is mostly quite serious and dramatic he does have some amusing scenes aswell.

And to save time and making this post much bigger than it needs to be (than it already is!) I will mention one scene from the mission "Riot" where Sweet having met the wank obssessed English musician, Maccer (voiced by Shaun Ryder of The Happy Mondays) asks who he is.

So Sweet asks "What's with the weird Brit?" and CJ tells Sweet "What? Oh, Maccer! He got a little problem he can't control".  And Sweet asks "What kind of problem?" and CJ awkwardly says "He can't stop, you know, giving himself a little bit".  And Sweet says "What, you mean he likes to consult Professor Hans Jerkov?" and CJ says "Yeah regularly!" and Sweet says a few more crude phrases for masturbation such as "Spank the money" and "Take Palm-ela out??" and "Burp the worm??".   

 

I will however add one more scene involving Faizon, which is from the earlier mission "Home coming" where CJ picks up Sweet from outside the courthouse having been freed from jail. So, Sweet annoyed by CJ's attitude and boasting about his new success out in San Fierro and Las Venturas, asks him "Nigga, what the fuck is this bullshit?! Take me home!". So, as they return to Grove Street, its filled with baseheads and Ballas, and one of them comes up to them with a blender "Anyone want this blender? It sort of works!" and Sweet shouts "That's mum's blender!". CJ however resignedly looks at the area and says "Looks like baseheads taken over the spot, come on let's go home" but Sweet angrily says "This IS home! Get those fuckers out of mom's house! You were BORN in there! DAMN!". 

 

So, after CJ helps Sweet take out the drug dealers and Ballas in the Grove, CJ says to Sweet "Right let's get out of here and go and see Kendl" however Sweet firmly tells CJ "Kendl can come and see me at her home RIGHT HERE!". CJ however says "But there ain't nothing here anymore dude" and Sweet says defiantly "Rome wasn't built in a day, nigga!" and walks off leaving CJ to say to himself "My brother can be a real pain in the ass!".  

Clifton Powell is also very good as Big Smoke, as his gruff voice adds well to the character, as Smoke gives off the idea that he is an old school gangster, who is not into pushing drugs, but instead he reveals himself to be just that, as he takes over the gangs in the middle of the game.

Powell also has some good moments in the script such as during the mission "Just Business" where CJ and Big Smoke flee from a group of Russian mobsters on a bike.  And during the chase a car chasing them hits a bus and Smoke laughs out loud saying "I'll never dis public transportation again!".  And then later on Big Smoke shouts to Carl re: his objections "Man, stop being so negative! Focus on the good news!" and Carl says "Such as?!" and Smoke shouts "We ain't dead, and your trigger finger still works, fool! I think the gearbox is screwed up on this thing! I can't get no speed!".  And Carl says to him "Yeah, who negative now bitch?!" and Smoke says to him "Point taken.  I'll keep my mouth shut from now on!".  

 

BIG SPOILER AHEAD!!

 

And last of all is the scene where Big Smoke is confronted by CJ as the two of them have trade bullets and before that, CJ enters to find Smoke playing a video game. So, CJ says to Smoke as he enters "Hey, Smoke!" and without turning around Smoke says, somewhat stoned "Heyyyy CJ". CJ then asks "How did you know it was me?" and Smoke says "I knew it would always be my old running dog CJ. I knew you was coming and I don't give a shit!". Smoke then takes a hit on his bong and CJ then says "Well, I'm gonna take care of your fat ass and your friends in the police department". Smoke then defiantly shouts "Fuck Tenpenny and fuck his Polish lapdog! Fuck the police!".  CJ then asks Smoke "What happened to you, man?!" and Smoke shouts "I'M A FUCKIN CELEBRITY, MAN! I'VE MADE IT, CJ! I CAN'T BE TOUCHED!". Smoke then says to CJ "Man, what the fuck do you care? Ah fuck it! Guess we might as well do this shit then!" and he grabs his gun.

 

So, in the following scene, when Big Smoke is fatally wounded by CJ, lies on the floor dying and coughing, CJ asks "Smoke, what made you flip out like that, man?" and Smoke coughing says "I got caught up in the money, the power!". CJ then asks "But why? We were homies for life!" and Smoke says "I had no choice, I had to do it, when I saw the opportunity and when I'm gone, everyone's gonna remember my name, BIG SMOKE!" and he then gasps and dies. 

Clifton Collins Jr does well also in his role as Cesar Vialpando, although it has to be said that his semi raspy voice does get annoying after a while and when he says "Hey, Holmes!" he sounds like he is constipated!

Clifton also has some moments such as the scene where Cesar takes his girlfriend and Carl's sister, Kendall out to the country to keep her safe from the city.  And in the cutscene Cesar angrily says to CJ "This ain't over, man. I did this to take care of my woman. But now I'm gonna head straight back home, and I'm gonna cap me some fucking dope dealers!".  And CJ warns Cesar not to go back or he could get himself killed but Cesar impatiently says "We already know who the fucking bad guys are, man, your stinking Grove Street brother Smoke, and those chota pigs Tenpenny and Pulaski!".  

Lastly there is the cutscene in the mission "Los Desparados" where Cesar awkwardly asks CJ his permission to ask Kendall "the question" i.e. to propose to her.  And in the scene Cesar says to CJ "While we here, I, eerr, I have a question to ask you" and CJ says "Yeah what?" and Cesar says "Well its....its personal" and CJ reassures him he can ask him anything he wants.  So Cesar says to CJ "OK, here goes. I want to ask Kendl the question" but CJ doesn't follow his meaning, so Cesar says again "No, holmes.  The QUESTION!" and CJ get's what he means and says he's fine with it.   

James Woods, who is generally great in anything he does, and he certainly is here as the secret government agent Mike Toreno, who manipulates CJ into doing work for him.

Woods has plenty of good moments in the story although I will only mention a few to save some time such as the one where Toreno finally reveals who he really is after putting him through some racing exercises.  And Toreno warns CJ "Do not be a fucking smart-ass with me!  I work for a government agency. It is not important which one. I will try not to confuse you. Yes, when we last met, I was involved in battling threats in Latin America, by any means necessary! That does not make me a drug dealer. Now, the money that we raised, the friends that we won over, have helped us immeasurably in our overseas interests".  

Woods has one of my favourite exchanges of dialogue in the game with CJ, as Toreno grabs CJ from behind by the throat and tells him "Got you again, Carl!  You're half asleep!  I could have killed you in 9 different ways.  Wake up and smell the coffee!".  And he let's CJ go who angrily says to Toreno "You need to lay off the coffee!".

And later there is also the scene in the mission "Vertical Bird" where CJ steals a jet fighter at Toreno's behest and after CJ bombs some ships in the ocean Toreno communicates with him over a radio.  And Toreno says to CJ "You see!  Child's play!" which enrages CJ who shouts at him "FUCK YOU, TORENO!  I NEVER WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN!  I THINK I'M GONNA HURL!".  And after this Toreno teases CJ saying "Ooh, what a big whiner, you want some cheese with that wine? Hey, you were spectacular. You know what, I'm beginning to think my little Carl is a double agent. Oooh!".  And CJ shouts at him "Shut up, Toreno!!  Where do you want this thing?!" and Toreno says to him "What thing? I don't know what you're talking about - you stole it. Got nothing to do with me, I don't know what you're talking about. See ya 'round!".  

Peter Fonda is also very good as the aged hippie, the Truth, who is pretty spaced throughout the whole game, and he also makes some weird prophecies too, and at one point gets CJ to steal an advanced jetpack from a military airbase, which is one of the game's most enjoyable missions "Black Project".

Fonda also has some good lines of dialogue such as in his first exchange with CJ over the phone as he says to him "Carl..." and CJ asks "Who's this?" and Truth says "Its me.  The Truth" and CJ asks "Who?" and Truth says "Perfection!  They said you were a moron!".

Another example later comes in the mission "Wear flowers in your hair" which is set in San Fierro, CJ and Truth drive around to recruit guys to help build-up CJ's garage business.  And during the mission, Truth spouts out some weird conspiracy theories to CJ " Now what if I told you, we never went to the moon, JFK lives in Scotland with Janis Joplin and the only reason we've been in a Cold war for the last 45 years was because snake-headed aliens run the oil business??".  And CJ sarcastically replies "I think you popped another microdot!" and Truth says "Good!  Keep it that way".  

James Yaegashi is also excellent as Wu Zi Mu or "Woozie" as he is known to everyone else who is a mild mannered guy who just so happens to be the leader of a group of Triads, the Mountain Cloud Boys.  Woozie is blind but he doesn't like it to be mentioned in his presence but despite this he has highly attuned senses and he can still do things such as beat CJ at playing video games but most of the time his men let him win at games.

And in one of the cutscenes this is noted when CJ and Woozie are playing blackjack and CJ checks Woozie's hand, which is a losing one and Woozie annoyed says " Damn. You're bad luck for me. You know, when I play the other guys, I always win!".  But in another cutscene as Woozie does some putting in his office, one of his associates moves a glass into its path so he can hole it but the associate moves the glass away when CJ tries to putt.  And CJ looks on incredulously and says "What the....?!" and Woozie sensing CJ missed says "Aww bad luck!".   

Yaegashi also has some good lines too in the story that include the scene where in the mission "Mountain cloud boys" CJ and Woozie are ambushed by a Vietnamese gang who kill one of Woozie's Triad clan.  And in the scene Woozie shows another side to his personality as he becomes furious at the deaths of his clan and yells at the gang "THE TRIADS MUST HAVE VENGEANCE!!  YOUR MOTHERS WERE SLUTS!!!".  And after they kill off the rival gang members, Woozie says to CJ "Thank you, Carl, you saved me from having to kill them all myself!".

MC Eiht is also pretty good as Ryder, one of the Grove street gang that (SPOILER!!) ends up betraying CJ and Sweet and is part of the Loco syndicate.  Eiht has some good moments too and Ryder's character always seems to enjoy putting CJ down about his driving and he also spends quite a bit of his time high on marijuana.

And Eiht's good scenes include the one where CJ pays Ryder visit when Ryder is high as a kite on marijuana.  And Ryder, stoned, says to CJ " Hey, CJ, tell me why I didn't finish high school" and CJ offers a few joky explanations and Ryder laughs and says "It's cause I'm too intelligent for this shit. I am the real deal fool, oh, yeah. A genius!".

And in another scene during a mission when Ryder slags off CJ for his driving as they get and drive off, Ryder says to CJ "You drive, CJ - seein as you "Mister Driver" an all and CJ says "Aw not your shit again, don't give me a hard time about my driving, I ain't got the energy fot it!".  And Ryder says to him "Well don't roll the damn car over and blow us all up in flames then!" and CJ says "Aw, I ain't risin to your shit, man!" and Ryder says "Good! Means you'll concentrate on the road then!".  So CJ says "You love givin a homie a hard time" and Ryder says "Just tryin to keep my soldiers alive, nigga!" and CJ says "By naggin them to death???" and Ryder shouts "Watch the road, motherfucker!  Watch the road!".

Other notable voice actors include Chris Penn, the late brother of Sean Penn, who gives a fine performance as the corrupt cop, Eddie Pulaski, who is keen to just get rid of CJ as fast as possible despite Tenpenny insisting on using him. 

So, I will mention just one mission of Pulaski's, which is the final one he appears in "High Noon" where CJ is forced to chase down and kill Pulaski as he flees the scene where CJ and Officer Hernandez were both to be buried. 

So, in the mission, CJ chases Pulaski and as they drive on the road, CJ shouts out to Pulaski "Hey Eddie, you know Tenpenny gonna rub you out too!" and Pulaski shouts "Carl, you got it all wrong, pal! Tenpenny was the one saving your ass! Every time I wanted to get rid of you, he found some excuse to keep you around! How's sister?! You know I always had a thing for her! Me and my friends got some picture of her and her Barrio boyfriend going at it like a pair of horny chiwawas! Best stakeout I ever done!". CJ then warns Pulaski "I know what you're trying to do, so don't get into my head!" and Pulaski then provokes Carl further "Carl, you shoud have seen your mum's body, she was a real mess!" and CJ warns him "Don't talk about my moms!" and Pulaski taunts him "Most of her face was hanging off! The boys were touching, joking around and shit!" and CJ finally snaps and shouts "FUCK YOU, PULASKI! FUCK YOU!!".  

So, after CJ manages to shoot Eddie, in the final cutscene CJ stands over Eddie who is dying, CJ asks him "Any last requests?" and Eddie says "Yeah, can I fuck your sister??".  And this prompts CJ to say, disgusted by Pulaski "You're an asshole to the end.  Punk motherfucker!" and he finishes him off.

Jas Anderson is also quite funny as the annoying, talentless rapper and wannabe gangster, OG Loc who at one get's Carl help to get his rap career on the go by discrediting a popular rapper named Mad Dogg (played by the rapper Ice-T).

Loc has some funny scenes that involve things such as getting revenge over a former hispanic cellmate, who is pretty camp and says that OG "dropped the soap" when he was in prison.  And later after they kill off the cellmate, CJ drops Loc off at his new job, which is working at a burger joint as a "hygiene technician" and how it is "just a stepping stone to greatness!" as Loc plans long term to become a famous rapper.  So when CJ drops Loc at the joint, CJ says to Loc "I'll see you around" and Loc says to him "Like a quarter pound!  Later!".

However Jas's funniest moment as Loc comes when Loc quits his job at the burger place and he turns back and shouts at them from the door "Man, fuck you! And I don't care what you heard, I ain't nobody's ass technician, BITCH!".

Next up we have Danny Dyer who makes another welcome appearance as Kent Paul, the British record producer who get's lost in the desert out in Las Venturas.

And Dyer has some funny bits of dialogue in the game such as when Kent and Maccer are both rescued by CJ in the desert as they are both feeling worse for wear after taking some peyote. So as CJ finds them out in the desert, Maccer complains "I can't feel me legs, our P! I've wanked the use out of em!" so Paul with disgust says "Just stand up, you soppy cunt! We go through this every weekend!". And as CJ picks them up and they are chased by rednecks in a truck from a snake farm, Maccer says to Paul "This is a very stressful situation!" and Paul shouts "You're fucking tell me it is??!!". 

And Shaun Ryder also makes a brief cameo as the perverted musician, Maccer, who can't resist giving himself a bit of "hand comfort" infront of other people!

And Shaun does have some prettu crude lines of dialogue that include the one where he mistakenly asks if Rosie (Rosenberg the lawyer that appeared in Vice City) has great tits. So, Maccer asks Paul "What kind of tits did this Rosie have? Small tits? Big tits? Or tits like a beanie or a saddlebag?!" and Paul exasperated shouts "Rosie's a man!!". Maccer then continues to tease Paul by saying "You look a pale as a drowned baby, man!" and Paul groans and Maccer says "P, what you need is some food down ya!" and Paul groans "I think I'm gonna chuck!" and then Maccer says "A fried egg with mayonaise will sort it" and then "What about a pickled egg?" and Paul has had enough and says "Pull over NOW!" and he get's out the car and vomits if you let CJ pull over.

Later on of course during a recording session with Madd Dogg, Maccer is at it again as he chugs off in the booth much to the disgust of the others. So, Paul tries to dissuade Maccer from wanking again by saying to him think of Maggie Thatcher, which doesn't even work! So, in the scene as Maccer is doing it he shouts "I'M LOVE YOU, MAGGIE!! I LOVE YOU, MAGGIE!". Oh God! (sick bags at the ready!). 

Cynthia Farrell also makes a great return as the psychotic Catalina (who was one of the main baddies from GTA III) and she get's some of the funniest lines of dialogue and delivers them with in style.

As for a few examples there is a line when they rob a bank and Catalina shouts at the staff "Hand over the cash or I'll blow your fucking face off!! Leave the panic button, or I'll kill your children too!".  And as the clerk sets off the alarm, Catalina shoots the clerk and yells "I warned you, you stupid bitch!  Stupid fucking bitch!  EAT MY SHIT!!!".

In one of the other missions "Gone Courting" Carl arrives at Catalina's hideout and calls on her and we hear her say "In here, mi amor" and he says "Ai'ght come on, let's go!" and she says angrily "You get your sorry ass in here, Carl Jonhson, or I will shove a fucking hand grenade up it!!".

Another example is when they drive to commit another robbery, Carl asks Catalina "What's wrong?" and Catalina says "Nothing.  I just hate men!" and Carl says to her "Well give me a break!" and Catalina says to him "Here's your break, you being at my barbacue and not being eaten!" and CJ says "Well that's one way of looking at shit I suppose!".

Cataline also taunts CJ about his manhood and his ability (or lack of it) to sexually please her throughout their missions, which prompts more putdowns such as "Tiny balled idiota!" and my favourite "You are a waste of good balls!".  And after they split up she seems to have a hard time dealing with it and she keeps calling him over and over!

Charlie Murphy (the older brother of Eddie Murphy) is also pretty good as the pimp, Jizzy, who CJ briefly works for but is really spying on him to find out about the Loco syndicate.  Murphy also get's some good lines as Jizzy such as in the mission "Mike Toreno" where Jizzy tries to calm down a hotheaded T-Bone Mendez by saying "T-Bone! Pump your brakes, baby. Take a chill pill, and just lay back and let the red mist fall, brother!".

And lastly there is the mission "Outrider" where Jizzy calls CJ to meet up with T-Bone and says to him "Well, my business associates, they need a little assistance. And I thought of you, friend. Meet T-Bone at the gas station next to the docks at Easter Basin. He's waiting for you in a 4-door sedan. Excuse me, partner, I got a call coming in. Arrivederci!".

Kid Frost is also good in his role as the hotheaded drug dealing associate with the Loco syndicate, T-Bone Mendez.

Frost's best moment comes in the mission "Outrider" when CJ is set to meet with T-Bone in a Sedan car but CJ can't see him anywhere so he get's into the car only to find T-Bone spring up behind in the backseat and he holds CJ at gunpoint.  So at gunpoint T-Bone threatens Carl saying " Hey, you a pinche jura or what?! You think you can mess with me?!! I will blow your head off, and rape and kill your family, you snake!! You think you can fucking bullshit me, and fuck me over?! I know your fucking game, ese!".  T-Bone then grills CJ further and yells "Who you working for?!" and CJ struggles and says "NOBODY!" and T-Bone let's him go and says "I almost had you, man. I almost fucking had you. Guacha! You gotta be careful in this business, man, you know that".    

William Fichtner who reprises his role as the neurotic drug addled lawyer, Ken Rosenberg, who was Tommy Vercetti's business partner in GTA: Vice City and he does a fine job here again.

And to quote one of Fichtner's good scenes, there is one in the mission, "The Meat Business" where Paul gives Rosenberg a few lines of cocaine to get him fired up again. So, after Rosenberg snorts a line, he shouts excitedly "Oh, ha ha ha ha! Baby, I'm back, I AM BACK! Let's get this show on the road!". So, Carl asks Rosenberg "So everything is ok now?" but Rosenberg says "No! Absolutely not! I'm still screwed! Absolutely screwed, but at least now I'm in the right frame of mind. What the fuck are we going to do? Any minute now, some Mafia bullet is going to splatter my brains all over the wall! My wall, my beautiful wall...".

So as CJ and Rosenberg drive to a meeting with the Mafia at the meat factory, Rosenberg expresses his desire to lead an ordinary life. So, Rosenberg tells CJ "I want to do something safe and legal and boring, with people that like me. And have a wife and some kids and get divorced and fight for weekend access, like everybody else!". So, CJ tells Rosenberg "OK, I'll see what I can do" and Rosenberg says while snorting coke "Thanks, I'm just so tired of all this life or death bullshit. (sniff) Oh, shit, shit's all down my (sniff) damned shirt, and everything. Oh, that's my best shirt too, doesn't this shirt look good on me?!". 

And last but far from least is Frank Vincent (who sadly passed away last year) who is great as the mob boss, Salvatore Leone and he is very much at home playing mob guys so he does a fine job here again in that role.

And Frank has some good lines of dialogue but his most notable ones come not long after CJ has robbed Leone's casino and a furious Leone calls up CJ and threatens to kill him. So, Leone yells at CJ "You two-faced backstabbing piece of eggplant shit!" and CJ sarcastically says "Mr Leone, nice to hear from you too". Leone then furiously yells "You're dead! I'm gonna fuck you up, your brother and sister! You're whole family!!! You're ALL dead!!". CJ however is not worried and casually says to Leone "I'm sorry, Mr Leone but I've got some money to spend on some expensive trash!".    

SOUNDTRACK AND RADIO STATIONS 

As for the game's soundtrack, well while it isn't as strong as Vice City's diverse soundtrack there are still plenty of great tracks to chose from here, and there is a big variety to chose from, and different genres such as rock, funk, rap, pop, metal, raggae and country.

And some of my favourite tracks appear from the radio stations Radio X, in which they play alternative rock from the early 90s, including tracks from bands such as Helmet (again GTA introduce me to them, still one of my favourite bands!) "Unsung", Jane's addiction "Been caught stealing" , Depeche Mode "Personal Jesus", Faith no more "Midlife crisis", Rage against the machine "Killing in the name of", Ozzy Osbourne "Hellraiser" and Soundgarden "Rusty cage".

Some of the rap tracks, which are naturally befitting of the period setting, are pretty good such as on Playback FM, which is hosted by none other than Chuck D of Public Enemy, who even plays a PE track "Rebel without a pause", as well as other tracks such as Kool G Rap & DJ Polo's "Road to the Riches" and Ultramagnetic MCs "Critical beatdown".

K-DST, which plays some classic rock is also a really good channel as you get a choice of songs from bands such as Creedence "Green River", Heart "Baracuda", Kiss "Strutter", Foghat "Slow ride", The Who "Eminence front", Boston "Smokin" and even David Bowie "Somebody up there likes me".  And another pleasant surprise on the radio channels was the K-Rose channel, which has probably one of the catchiest songs of all time on it, which is Jerry Reed's "Amos Moses".  Just class.

On the downside the there is only one radio station for chat radio but there are several radio programs that feature on the station.  It also has to be said that the radio shows themselves are a bit hit and miss but some of them are still funny and they also feature the recurring DJ, Laszlow, who has a funny interview with OG Loc, who get's very angry with Laszlow as they talk at cross purposes. 

Its also worth noting that some of the tracks were removed from the Xbox 360 version of the game such as Rage against the machine's "Killing in the name of" on Radio X, Tom Petty's "Running down a dream" on KT-DST and Utramagnetic MC's "Critical Beatdown" on Playback among others. This is a pity as it would have been good if the full original soundtrack list was kept in this version but I'm guessing it was for copyright reasons.

GRAPHICS 

Moving onto the game's graphics well they are for the most part fairly good but the game does however suffer from having subpar looking character models as the characters look blocky and under-developed in their appearance yet in GTA Vice City the characters models looked a lot better.  However I think this might have come down to the fact that the game itself is so big and has such expansive environments that the quality of the character modelling had to suffer.

However despite this, the game's graphics are still quite impressive when it comes to its environments, which look good and are pretty varied given the game is set in three cities, it covers a lot of ground indeed.  The game also makes good graphical use of its HUD (heads up display) for CJ's health bar as well as the stats for his stamina, muscle, sex appeal, body fat etc which in itself is a unique feature in the game.  Its also worth noting the game's environmental effects are also pretty good as it makes good use of its colours for sunsets in the evening or even the rain and storm effects are well done.  

However as the Definitive Edition remaster released in 2021, this sees San Andreas get a massive visual overhaul and for the most part it looks very impressive. There of course some issues with the graphics still with some clipping issues and minor glitches as well as some of the character model choices (e.g. Carl's Grove Street girlfriend, Denise, still looks a bit weird!). However all that aside, the remaster definitely remains the best looking version of the game and it also recently got a nice update where you can use the classic lighting from the game, which really does add a nice touch and a neat throwback to the original. 

FLAWS 

As for GTA: San Andreas's flaws....well yeah despite it being a great game there are still a fair few to be found.

So for starters, I felt that the countryside missions can take an inordinate amount of time for CJ to get to his eventual destination especially when he travels to meet with Catalina, he has alot of ground to cover from his original save point.  One of the ways around this is of course to buy one of the properties as a halfway house between missions, but that depends on how much money you have. This however is partly mitigated by the emastered version's automatic checkpoint saves after finishing a mission.

Another slight issue with the gameplay is to do with the game's targeting system for weapons and you can find at times that CJ occasionally gets stuck or faces the wrong way when he auto-aims his gun at a target, which means you need to target them again.  This to be fair however isn't a big deal but it is still slight a slight annoyance that is worth mentioning. 

Another frustrating aspect early on in the game is the lack of money, especially in Los Santos where CJ has to make his way up again in the hood, and for all the missions he does with his homies, they don't even give him much if any money, especially Ryder, who is a real tight-ass!  Its not until the turf wars start to rear their ugly heads, that is when the drug dealers pop up on a every street corner, then you can make money by shooting them as they leave behind $2000 each time.  And its only really when CJ leaves Los Santos, when he meets up with his new associates that he finally starts to make money.

Another annoyance in the game is as I mentioned earlier on, the mission where CJ has to learn to fly, on the orders of Mike Toreno, and you have to undergo some training missions on how to take off and lane a plane, fly it through the sky, parachute from it successfully and most frustrating of all, do a bloody barrel roll, which NEVER comes in handy during the actual gameplay!

So, this brings up one of the game's most infuriating missions, "Vertical Bird" where Mike Toreno puts CJ on a mission which involves flying a harrier jet, and it is a nightmare to control the jet, and more often that it is far too easy to crash the jet into the water!  This level itself is often cited by gamers as one of the most difficult in the series. However on repeated playing, this mission isn't too bad to be fair once you get used to it.

And for me one of the most frustrating and annoying missions in the whole game deserves its place here, which is "Interdiction" where CJ has to do some dirty work for Toreno as he is to protect a chopper carrying cargo from enemy choppers that circle it.  And in the mission CJ needs to shoot them down with a rocket launcher but the cargo chopper can too often get caught in the crossfire which makes this goddamn mission a massive pain in the ass and I've lost count the amount of times I've had to redo over the years!!  And by the time I'm done with it I'm ready to punch Toreno myself never mind how CJ must have felt!

Ahhh but wait for it (and I apologise for this next bit).......there is another mission, which makes "Interdiction" and "Vertical Bird" appear like a picnic and THAT mission is "Cop Wheels".  Now to say I hate this mission would be a total understatement but that simply does not do justice as to just how infuriating it is! Its just a maddening pile of crap!

Words fail me on how annoying this one is and the premise is fairly simple enough, CJ has to steal four cop motorbikes in prep for their robbery on the mafia casino and get them transported onto a car packer on the very busy freeways of Las Venturas.  Now this might sound relatively straight forward but believe me it isn't and you only have 12 minutes to get all four bikes onto the packer or you fail the mission.  Why ONLY 12 MINUTES???!!  I mean why don't they allow for a full 15???!!  I mean that would help to give you a bit more time to get things done!

And not only that but your problems in the mission are compounded by the large distance between each of the bikes and also the big distance between you and the packer on the freeway, which is miles away.  Combine this with the police always on your ass for stealing the bikes and also carelessly but unavoidably crashing into cars or lamp posts or walls, it eats into your time too much and before you know it you are out of time, well either that or got arrested!

I'm sure there are other missions beyond this one that will also cause some major frustration (Vertical Bird for sure) but none as worse as this.  Cop Wheels is one of the worst missions in the game for sure and if you have any sanity left and enough patience you might just get through it! 

OK rant over!

Another problem I have with the game is how you cannot gain access to the Ammu-nation stores from the start of the game, as you can only get a crappy 9mm gun from the old guy, Emmett until a specific mission later on in the first Los Santos part of the game. This is a pain as you think it would be better if CJ could just go to the gun store and make his life a bit easier rather than rely on the most basic handgun in the game! You can of course kill other enemies such as the Ballas or other gangs to get slightly better weapons such as Tec-9's or shotguns but that's about it.

Then we have a similar issue with the clothes stores as you need to wait quite a few missions before you get a call from Cesar, who tells CJ that he needs to get himself some gang colour clothes. Now, its funny he says that because you cannot get the Grove Street outfit from ANY of the stores in the game! I mean you can get some similar green clothed items, such as the green hoody from the Binco store but you simply cannot get the actual gang outfit anywhere, which is a bit daft if you ask me but hey ho.  

As for some plot niggles I felt that some of the Truth's missions were a bit pointless and left things unexplained such as the missions "Black Project" and "Green Goo" where in the first one, Truth has CJ steal a jet pack to later use it to capture some green goo from an US army train.  Now, OK I get the jet pack part at least but its not explained at all why Truth wanted CJ to steal the green goo or what he intended to do with it for that matter either!  So for me this mission is pretty pointless and its basically an excuse for CJ to get his hands on the jet pack later (but don't get me wrong it is one of the cooler gadgets in the game!).

I also felt the same thing about the mission in San Fierro where CJ recruits a couple of mechanics for his garage and during the mission, Truth makes CJ stop and wait for fed cars to go by or wait outside a hospital for some unknown reason. Its the vagueness of the Truth's mission is what makes them a bit annoying at times.  

Also even though Truth in their first call, insults CJ by calling him a "moron" it has to be said the Truth isn't always that bright himself! This is especially true in the missions "Are you going to San Fierro?" where Truth lights up a joint and asks CJ if he wants some but CJ rightfully turns him down because otherwise he might crash the Truth's van! I mean CJ was already feeling the affects of burning Truth's hash fields, so he is not going to feel much better taking a spliff when he has to drive, so, yeah smart move, Truth you knob! 

Last of all, on a personal note, I have to say I really didn't like the racing missions in the game either as they are a real pain in the ass.  I say this because during the racing, its all too easy to crash your car into say a lamp post, which would delay your progress and you will lose your place in the race, either that or spin the car out of control and derail it off a cliff and into the water!   

And for me I think the worst racing mission of the lot is "Farewell my lovely" which is where CJ has to race against Catalina's new lover, Claude (the silent main character from GTA III) and it is far too easy to derail your car off the road in this race, which makes it a major pain in the ass to finish!  So I think its safe to say whenever I play this mission I can't wait to skip it and not only that if you do fail the mission you usually find you have one hell of a long trek back to the starting point again! Again however in the remaster version, this is solved by the use of checkpoints, which is a relief!

In fact further to this its worth mentioning in the mission "Photo opportunity" where CJ and Cesar drive out into the country to spy on the members of the drug syndicate named "Loco" after the mission is over, Cesar suggests they split up and he leaves CJ to make his own way back to San Fierro, which is a LONG way off!!  So that means that CJ has to jack another car simply because Cesar can't be arsed to give his buddy a lift! Ces, you are a dick, mate!     

Also further to this (and this is my last point on Cesar honest!) another REALLY annoying aspect of the game are the constant calls CJ gets from Cesar about pursuing Smoke's couriers that are transporting drugs or "yay" as CJ calls it. These calls feature way too often in the game and if you accidentally or even agree to pursue the couriers, it takes AGES to reach them as they go cross country! Also when this happens you cannot save the game at a safe house if you make the mistake of agreeing but this also happens on the first call you get about the couriers, which makes it unavoidable first time round. So, I would totally recommend to ALWAYS turn down Cesar when he calls about this otherwise you are in for a real pain in the ass of a time to get these guys. 
 
And last of all is an issue with the whole idea of CJ and Woozie robbing a Mafia casino and thinking they would get away with it! I mean its the Mafia after all! And later CJ even gets an angry call from Salvatore Leone, who is furious with CJ and spouts a bunch of death threats at him and how he will kill him and his family and CJ smugly tells Leone that he has a lot of money to spend and has to go. Now, does CJ really believe he will be able to get away with robbing a Mafia owned casino??? I don't think realistically he would have a chance against them and after the end of the game he is bound to get whacked! 

Anyway that's it for the flaws.

SUM UP

So to sum up, in replaying GTA: San Andreas, its still a terrific game overall, as its gameplay is varied and tremendous fun, it also features a superb cast, who all give great performances and again it features a very solid soundtrack with plenty of radio channels and tracks to listen to. It may have some minor flaws and some deeply infuriating missions however for the most part, the bad points are outweighed by its good points and even after all this time it still remains my favourite of the GTA series.

So, I will give GTA San Andreas a rating of:

10 out of 10

So, that's it for now and I will try and be back soon with another posted before Christmas, so until its bye for now!