Top 5 Fawlty Tower Episodes - Part 2: No's 2-1

Right, so I'm now onto my 2nd and last part of my top 5 Fawlty Towers episodes and in this episode I will look at my pick of the best and the runner up spot.

So, let's take a look....

P.S. I am just trying to get this post uploaded before the end of the night, so I will have 5 posts for the month and I will continue to add to it in December!  

2. Hotel Inspectors (Series 1) "Sppppppppoooonns!!!"

Right, so in second place is this hilarious episode "Hotel Inspectors" from the first series, which sees Basil face the prospect of having the hotel being inspected after Sybil hears some gossip from her friend that apparently there are some hotel inspectors in town.  However one of the guests, Mr Hutcheson (Bernard Cribbins) arrives, who has a rather bossy outward nature and when he mentions in his job he is in "constant contact" with hotels, Basil automatically suspects him to be a hotel inspector.


However what ensues is a escalation of calamities for Basil as he soon finds out that Mr Hutcheson isn't in fact a hotel inspector but works in the spoon trade as a salesman and this sets him on a vengeful frame of mind.  And from here its not long before things end rather badly in different ways for both men.....

THOUGHTS

Hotel Inspectors is an undeniably great episode and one of the funniest in the series and it also features some clever moments too, such as the one where Basil tells Mr Hutcheson to shut up but Polly convinces Hutcheson that Basil actually told her to shut up.  So, as Mr Hutcheson says "If you say "Shut up" to somebody, - that's the one you want to shut up, isn't it?!" and Polly says "Well not necessarily".  And from this point on Basil and Polly talk alternately to each other without looking each other while looking at Mr Hutcheson when they are not acknowledging each other.  Its a clever scene and must have taken ages for them to rehearse!

The episode also works so well thanks to a great performance by Bernard Cribbins, the uppity and fussy Mr Hutcheson, who Basil is incredibly rude to at first until he suspects he could be a hotel inspector.  However after Basil finds out, Hutcheson works in the spoon trade, he goes back to being belligerent toward him and the episode ends with perhaps the funniest ending of the whole series.

NOTABLE SCENES

So, the episode has its share of great scenes, starting with the one where Basil first deals with Mr Hutechson at reception while Sybil gossips on the phone.  So, Basil says to Sybil sarcastically "Darling, when you're finished, why don't you have a lie down?!" and he turns to Mr Hutcheson and says "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. I had no idea my wife was so busy!".  Mr Hutcheson then says "Fear not, kind sir, it matters not one whit" and Basil, puzzled asks "I beg your pardon?" and Mr Hutcheson reiterates cheerfully "It matters not one whit. Time is not pressing on me, fortunately. Now some information, please. This afternoon I have to visit the town for sundry purposes which would be of no interest to you I am quite sure, but nevertheless shall require your aid in getting for me some sort of transport, some hired vehicle that is, to get me to my first port of call!".  Basil, now slightly irritated asks "Are you alright?" and Mr Hutcheson says "Oh, yes.  I find the air here most invigorating!".  Basil now irritable asks "Did I gather from your first announcement that you want a taxi?" and Mr Hutcheson says "In a nutshell" and Basil mutters to himself "Case more like(!)".

Then after Basil reluctantly draws a diagram for Mr Hutcheson to where the local post office is, Mr Hutcheson criticises Basil's writing and says his "P" looks like a "B".  So, Basil snatches the sheet the diagram is written on from Mr Hutcheson and shows it to another guest, Mr Watt (James Cossins) and asks "Excuse me, would you say that was a "P" or a "B"? There.Does it say "Boff," or does it say "Poff"? It's a "P," isn't it?!" and Mr Watt wearily says "I suppose so".  Basil then refers to the abbreviated way he has written post office as "P-Off" and he says to Mr Watt "P-Off!" which leaves Mr Watt somewhat taken aback "I beg your pardon??" and Basil says again "P-Off!  Whoever heard of a "bost office".

This is then followed by a hilarious moment where Basil asks Manuel to take Mr Watt's cases to room 7 but Manuel's poor English at this stage leaves him confused by Basil's request and he asks "Que?".  So, Basil then holds up a couple of illustrated drawings of a suitcase and the letter "7" and Manuel in turn, cheerfully holds up a card that reads "OK!".

Another great scene comes when Basil is about to make a phone call but Mr Hutcheson rings the reception bell but Basil chooses to ignore him until he finally snaps and says to Mr Hutcheson sharply "I'm on the telephone!".  Mr Hutcheson then says "You haven't finished dialing yet!" and Basil sharply slams down the reciever back onto the cradle.  Mr Hutcheson then asks Basil "Now, listen There is a documentary on BBC 2 this evening about Squawking Bird, the leader of the Blackfoot Indians in the late 1860s. This starts at 8:45 and goes on for approximately three quarters of an hour.  Is it possible for me to reserve the BBC 2 channel for the duration of this televisual feast?!".  Basil then snaps back "Why don't you talk properly??!" and he then responds to Mr Hutcheson's request by saying "It is not possible to reserve the BBC 2 channel from the commencement of this "televisual feast" until the moment of the termination of its ending, thank you so much!".

So, Mr Hutecheson then suggests that Basil should introduce it in future and that he deals hotels, who have such a scheme and he is in constant contact with hotels in his current job, which makes Basil believe he might be a hotel inspector, so he immediately changes tone and becomes more polite to him.

Then there is the scene Sybil tells Basil on overhearing Mr Hutcheson's telephone conversation that he sells spoons and isn't in fact a hotel inspector.  So, Sybil asks Basil "How are you getting on with your hotel inspector?" and Basil says "Oh, fine!" and Sybil tells him "He sells spoons".  Basil then appears a little stunned and asks "Sorry?" and Sybil tells him "He works for a cutlery firm, but he specializes in spoons".

Basil then at first appears indignant to Sybil's actions and asks her "You listened on a private call of one of ours guests?" and Sybil says "That's right, Basil".  Basil then immediately turns angry and says of Mr Hutcheson "Little rat!  I'll get him for that!" and he rants "Pretending he's a hotel inspector, "Do we hire television sets?" Fresh peas, ice buckets....!!".  Sybil then says "Basil, it was your mistake..." and Basil interrupts and says "Now you let me handle..." and Sybil shouts back "BASIL!!!" which makes Basil jump back, frightened.  Sybil then firmly tells Basil "This whole inspector business was in your own imagination, it's nothing to do with him. There is no excuse for rudeness. Do you understand? Do you understand?!".  Basil finally says "Yes!" and Sybil says "Good!" and she walks off leaving Basil to look after her and pretend to throttle her!

This is then followed by the great moment where, Basil walks into the dining room and he circles Mr Hutcheson angrily and he mutters "Spoons, eh???" and Mr Hutcheson asks "What?" and Basil spits out the word "Spppppooonnnnsss!!".  Mr Hutcheson, a little taken aback, wiping some spit from his face, asks "I beg your pardon?!" and Basil explains "I understand you are in the spoon trade" and Mr Hutcheson suddenly smiles and says "Oh, yes!".  Basil then feigns politeness and says "Fascinating, how absorbing for you. So much more interesting than being a HOTEL INSPECTOR!" and he walks away, leaving Mr Hutcheson perplexed.

This is followed by Mr Hutcheson complaining about getting the wrong order from Polly and Basil steps in and he snaps again at Mr Hutcheson and asks him "You wanna run the place?!" and Mr Hutcheson says "No" and Basil then snaps "Well, shut up then!".  Mr Hutcheson then furiously stands up and says "Excuse me! I've changed my mind. I do not want the cheese salad. I wish to cancel it. I am not used to being spoken to like that, and I have no wish to continue my luncheon!!".  Basil instantly apologies and says "I apologise if I seemed a trifle brusque" and Mr Hutcheson furiously says "It was rude, Mr Fawlty!  I SAID RUDE!!  You told me to shut up!".  Polly then interjects and brilliantly tells Mr Hutcheson "No, he told me to shut up!" and Basil and Polly then successfully manage to confuse Mr Hutcheson into thinking that Basil did tell her to shut up and instead. 

Basil during this time, also serves Mr Watt and opens a bottle of wine for him but after Basil pours him a glass, Mr Watt smells the glass and says to Basil "Excuse me, this is corked".  Basil however doesn't understand and says "I just uncorked it!  That's how I managed to get the wine out of the bottle into your glass!".  Mr Watt then explains "No, that's not what I meant.  The wine has reacted with the cork and gone bad!" and Basil takes a sip of the wine and whinces and says "Well, that's cost me!  I'll get you another one!".

Basil then has a big row with Mr Hutcheson, who is furious about Manuel getting his order wrong and he rants infront of the guests and Basil then puts his mouth over Mr Hutcheson to shut him up and punches him in his back, which sends Mr Hutcheson face down into his food, unconscious.  After this Basil says to Sybil "He fainted, dear, he got a bit of cheese stuck!" and Sybil says "Basil, you do not faint from getting a bit of cheese stuck!".  Basil then apologies to Mr Watt and he asks him if he enjoyed his wine and Mr Watt says "Yes, it was very good. Lots of body" and Basil, misunderstanding again, lifts the bottle to feel its weight.  Basil then says to Mr Hutecheson "It's always a pleasure to meet someone who appreciates the boudoir of the grape. I'm afraid most people we get here don't know a Bordeaux from a claret!".  Mr Hutcheson then corrects Basil and says "A Bordeaux IS a claret" and Basil tries to cover up his faux pas and says "Oh, a Bordeaux is a claret but I mean they wouldn't know that!". 

Then after this, Mr Hutcheson is taken through to the office behind reception and he eventually comes around and he suddenly punches Basil several times.  Mr Hutcheson then angrily says to Basil "I'm not a violent man, Mr Fawlty!" and Basil under the desk says "Yes, you are!" and Mr Hutcheson responds "No, I'm not!  When I'm insulted and then attacked, I prefer to rely on my own mettle than call the police!".  Basil then get's up and laughs infront of a shocked Mr Watt, who has come into reception and Mr Hutcheson asks "Did I something funny, Mr Fawlty!" and Basil says "Well more pithy!" and Mr Hutcheson angrily says "Oh, yeah?!  Well, here's the punchline!" and he elbows him in the stomach and says "Now, I'm going to fetch my belongings and I do not expect to recieve a bill!".

Basil then tries to convince an uninterested Mr Watt that Mr Hutcheson is actually a regular guest that what he witnesses was just a bit of fun and Mr Watt happens to mention he is in town with two other colleagues, which automatically makes him suspect that he is now a hotel inspector.  Basil then desparately pleads with him and says "Please! It's taken us 12 years to build this place up. Don't put this in the book. We're finished if you please don't!".  Mr Watt, confused and taken aback asks "What book!" and Basil says "The hotel book...!" and he stops himself and says fearfully "Oh, what have I done???!" and he starts sobbings comically. 

Mr Watt then tries to calm Basil down and says to him "I have nothing to do with the hotel trade.  I sell outboard motors!" and he shows a magazine to Basil who through his tears says "Outboard motors?!  You're not an inspector?  Not on the side??".  Mr Watt then says "I tell you, I have nothing to do with it!" and Basil then immediately relieved and grateful says "Oh, thank you so much!  I don't how I could ever...Thanks!" and he runs off with Manuel to plot his revenge over Mr Hutcheson.

And the episode finishes with the three real inspectors entering the lobby, only for Mr Hutcheson to the come down the stairs with his briefcase and all of a sudden Manuel appears and says "Excuse me, senior, Mr Fawlty want to say adios!".  Then out of nowhere, Basil appears with two pies and shoves one over his face and another on his crotch and Manuel pours a pint of cream into his briefcase and Basil shakes it up and tucks it under Hutcheson's arm and forcibly ejects him out the door.  Basil then turns to Manuel and triumphantly kisses him on the forehead and he strides toward the three gentlemen at the reception.  Basil then addresses them "Good afternoon, gentlemen!  And what can I do for you three gentleman?" but then the horrible realisation dawns on him that these are the real inspectors and he screams out loud "AGGGGHHHH!!!".

SUM UP

So, Hotel Inspectors is terrific and it more than deserves its place in the runner spot as it is nicely written, wonderfully performed, particularly by John Cleese and Bernard Cribbins, who are at loggerheads throughout.  It also is another example of the series clever structure and how events bubble and spiral out of control as things go along and it certainly stands out as one of the series best episodes.  

So, its now time for the No.1 episode of Fawlty Towers (for me anyway) which is.......

1. The Psychiatrist (Series 2) "Right, the game's up!!"

Yes, I didn't pick "The Germans" or "Gormet Night" or "Basil the rat", no for me "The Psychiatrist" is the best episode of Fawlty Towers and the reason being as it is a brilliantly funny story where we see Basil's neurosis get the better of him when a psychiatrist stays as a guest.  And later, Basil then tries to rumble one of the guests, Mr Johnson (Nicky Henson) who has smuggled in his girlfriend into his room and Basil overhears her and is determined to try and catch him with her.


THOUGHTS

Yes, this episode has everything that makes a great Fawlty Towers episode and its the way in which it sets itself up with events starting off pretty slow with Basil behind the desk at reception "enjoying himself" by mocking Mr Johnson, for wearing his shirt open to the waist and wearing alot of medallions.  And later on after Basil discovers the Abbots, a married couple, staying at the hotel, are both doctors and the male doctor is a psychiatrist, which makes Basil neurotic and nervous.  And after this Mr Johnson sneaks his girlfriend into his room and Basil later overhears them laughing together and Basil spends the rest of the episode trying to catch Johnson out.

However, Basil also get's into trouble with Sybil when he takes a very attractive, Australian girl, Raylene, up to her room and finds that the light switch isn't working and while trying to repair it, he accidentally feels around the door for the switch and grabs her boob instead!  And this of course happens just a second before Sybil walks into the room to hand in something that Raylene left in the lobby.  So from here, Basil has to up his efforts to try and find the girl and also try and not have Sybil divorce him for apparently "groping" the guests (i.e. Raylene) infront of her!

NOTABLE SCENES

As for "The Psychiatrists" notable scenes, well...just take your pick!


To start with there is the scene at the start where Mr Johnson (Nicky Henson) who's natural charm appeals to Sybil, who flirts with him.  So, as Mr Johnson makes a phone call to a friend of his and is kept waiting on hold, he is forced to listen to Sybil go on about her mother.  Sybil tells Mr Johnson "
She has these well, morbid fears they are, really. Vans is one. Rats Doorknobs Birds, heights, open spaces Confined spaces It's very difficult getting the space right for her, really. You know Footballs, bicycles, cows And she's always on about men following her. I don't know what she thinks they're going to do to her. Vomit on her, Basil says!".

Basil of course takes an immediate dislike to Mr Johnson at his appearance and his nature and he sharply asks him "Are you taking dinner here tonight?" and Mr Johnson asks "Sorry?" without looking up as he is looking at a book and Basil asks "Are you dining here tonight in this unfashoinable dump?!" and Mr Johnson says "I wasn't planning to".  Basil then annoyed further says "No, not really your scene here, is it?" and "Thought I'd try somewhere in town. Anywhere you'd recommend?" and Basil mockingly asks him "What sort of food were you thinking of? Fruit?!".  Mr Johnson however remain oblivious of Basil's mocking tone and asks "Anywhere they do French food?" and Basil sarcastically replies "Yes, France, I believe. They seem to like it there, and the swim would certainly sharpen your appetite. You'd better hurry. The tide leaves in six minutes!".

Sybil then reappears and recommends an eatery to Mr Johnson but Basil continues to mock him and says "Or that ancient Eygptian place?  The Golden Dog something....." but they both ignore him and Sybil politely says to Mr Johnson "Do enjoy yourself" and Mr Johnson walks off.  Sybil then furiously turns to Basil and quietly says to him "I have had it up to here with you(!)" and Basil asks her "What, dear?" and Sybil angrily says "You never get it right, do you? You're either crawling all over them, licking their boots, or spitting poison at them like some Benzedrine puff adder!".  Sybil then walks off, leaving Basil unfazed and he says to himself "I'm just trying to enjoy myself!".

Then there is the scene where Basil asks the Abbots, who are sitting down for dinner "So, are you both in general practice?" and Mrs Abbot says "No, I'm a paediatrician" and Basil asks "Feet?" and Mrs Abbot replies "Children".  Basil then asks Mr Abbot "And you doctor..." and Mr Abbot says "I'm a psychiatrist" and Basil instinctively takes Mr Abbot's glass of sherry and sips it and says "Very nice too. Cheers!" and he realises what he has done and says "I'll get you another, sorry".

Basil later in the kitchen, having become very edgy on learning that Mr Abbot is a doctor, says to Sybil "Just take it easy, okay? Just keep your distance. Remember who you are, all right? Just don't tell him too much about yourself, all right?!".  Sybil then says "Basil why are you so nervous? You liked him when you met and then you find out he's a psychiatrist...." and Basil suddenly yells "I'm not bothered about that!  If he wants to be a psychiatrist, that's his funeral!  They're as mad as bloody march hares anyway!  How does he earn his money? He gets he get paid for sticking his nose in to people's private parts...DETAILS!".  And as Sybil tries to calm Basil down, he then edgily says to her "You know what they're all obsessed with, don't you? You know what they say it's all about, don't you? Hmm? Sex. Everything's connected with sex. Huh! What a load of cobblers!".

Then as Basil goes out to get Mr Abbot to sign something, he goes back in and while he is away Mr Abbot says to Basil "We were just speculating how people in your profession arrange their holidays. How often you can get away. How often do you manage it?".  Basil is stunned by the question as he thinks that Mr Abbot is asking him about something else and Mr Abbot says "You don't mind my asking??" and Basil, still stunned says "Not at all...." and he has a think and says "About average".  Mr Abbot then asks "What would be average?" and Basil is gobsmacked and Mr Abbot asks him "Couple of times a year?  Once a year?  Well, we knew it must be difficult, my wife and I didn't see how you could manage it at all!".  Basil then replies "Well, as you've asked, two or three times a week, actually.  We're quite normal down here in Torquay, you know?!".

Another funny scene is where Basil takes the attractive Australian girl, Raylene Miles up to her room and he notices that the bathroom light switch isn't working, so will Raylene does some exercises to loosen herself up, Basil's hand comes round the corner of the door and contacts with her right breast, just as Sybil walks into the room.  Basil then enters the room and notices he has his hand on Raylene's boob and snatches it away instantly and Sybil looks not impressed and puts something down on the bed for Raylene and tells her "You left this downstairs".

So, Basil runs after Sybil to try and explain and he says "Sybil! I'm sorry. I didn't know she was there! - I was trying the switch!" but Sybil is not in the mood to listen and says "Its pathetic, Basil" but Basil still tries to explain "The lights weren't working in the bathroom, right? Okay? So I went in, checked the fitting, which was loose...".  Sybil then says "I've read about it, Basil. The male menopause it's called. Oh, and one word of advice: If you're going to grope a girl have the gallantry to stay in the room with her while you're doing it, hmm?!".

Then there is the scene where Basil overhears Mr Johnson from his hotel room, say the punchline of the joke he told Sybil earlier and Basil gives look of annoyance but then he hears a female laugh.  So, Basil goes over to the Mr Johnson's door and just as he does, Mr Johnson comes out and looks awkwardly at Basil.  Basil asks "Yes? Can I help you?" and Mr Johnson awkwardly says "Yes. I was wondering if I could get a drink...now.  Well a bottle of champagne". So, Basil tries to feel out Johnson and says to him "I see. You are aware of our rule about visitors, are you? Hmm? No visitors in guests' rooms after 10:00. Of the opposite sex".  Johnson replies "No.  But I am now.  So you will send up the champagne then, will you?".  Basil asks him "So, you will be drinking it on your own, will you?" and Johnson says "Yes, unless you care to join me" and Basil says "No thank you. Not while I'm on the job" and Johnson sarcily says "Oh, that's when I enjoy it most!" and he goes back into his room.

Another priceless moment is when Basil and Manuel go outside with a ladder and Basil climbs up it in an effort to get a look at the girl that Johnson has smuggled into his room.  However, Basil ends up looking into the Abbott's room just as they are getting ready for bed and Basil rather embarrassed, suddenly smiles at them and does his sounding thing to check the window (as earlier he pretended to check the walls by placing his hands on them in different places) and the ladder topples over with Basil lying flat on his back!

Manuel urgently then rushes back in and tells Sybil that Basil has fallen off a ladder, and Sybil asks him "What was he doing up a ladder??" and Manuel says "He was trying to the girl" and Sybil then becomes cross and asks "What?!".  Manuel then says "He try to see into room to see girl, she make him crazy!" and Sybil sharply says "I see!" and she storms out with Manuel.  Basil outside, has managed to get on his feet again and Sybil then marches up to him and Basil says "Hello, dear!  I was just..." and she delivers a mighty slap across his face that sends Basil right back down again and she turns about as storms back into the hotel.

In the next scene, Basil runs upstairs after Sybil to their bedroom door where Sybil hits him again and says angrily "How dare you?! What were you doing up that ladder?!" and Basil says "I was trying to see the girl!  Is that so strange?!" and she slaps him again and says "Stop hitting me!".  Sybil then snaps at him "Don't you dare try to come in here tonight!" and she slams the door in his face leaving Basil dumbfounded.  Basil turns to Manuel and says "Mad!  She's gone completely!" and Manuel says to him "She crazy!" and Manuel continues to explain "I say to her you try and see in girl's room and she go crazy.  I tell her you go to see girl in room. You crazy about this girl, okay? Okay, so You go up to try to look at her and Mrs. Fawlty, she go crazy!".  Basil, now quietly furious moves toward Manuel and picks him up and shakes him violently and shouts "I'm punishing you for being alive!!" but then he says Mrs Abbott appear and he drops Manuel and pretends that he is teaching Manuel self defence! 

Then there is the pricelss moment where Basil hides in the cupboard upstairs and the next morning, he waits behind the door for Johnson to come out his room with the girl.  So, as Basil hears Mrs Abbott come out Mr Johnson's room (to hand back Johnson's Torquay guide) he suddenly appears with a broom in his hand and shouts "Right! The game's up!!" and he freezes when he sees the couple and instantly says "A bit of game pie was stuck up there" and he sweeps the ceiling and Basil cheerfully says to them "Right, well enjoy your walk!".  And as the Abbotts walk downstairs, Mr Abbott says to his wife "There's enough material there for an entire conference!".

So then there is the moment where Basil in the broom cupboard knocks over a plastic bottle and picks it up only to reveal his hand is now covered in black sticky stuff.  So, in the next moment he hears a door open and he waits to pounce and we see Raylene walk across the hallway and Basil suddenly springs on her, grabbing her and shouts "Right!  That's it!".  Raylene, startled screams out "Jesus!  What's going on?!" and Basil is instantly apologetic and says "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" and Raylene, aghast says "You scared the hell out of me!!".  And at this point, Sybil appears and we see that Basil's sticky hand has left a mark on Raylene's top right on her chest area!

And then we get to the great moment where after Basil goes in to ask Raylene to leave, he hides in the wardrobe when Sybil comes in and notices his finger sticking out the door to keep it shut and she opens the door and Basil bluffs her saying "Hello, dear! Just checking the doors!".  Sybil, disgusted with Basil, says "Do you really believe in your wildest DREAMS that a girl like this could possibly be interested in an aged, brilliantined stick insect like you?!".  Basil then admits he came to apologise for putting his hand on Raylene's breasts and she shuts the wardrobe door on him and walks out and Basil get's after her and tries to explain.

However, Sybil is not interested and says to Basil "Why can't you be a man? If you want to grope the guests, why can't you at least be honest about it without making up some pathetic song and dance..." and Basil has finally had enough and shouts "Shut up!!".  Sybil, now even angrier says "Oh, you've done it now!" and makes to move off but Basil grabs her by the arm and says "No, I'm just going to!  I'm fed up with you, you rancorous, coiffeured old sow! Why don't you syringe the donuts out of your ear and get some sense into the dormant organ you keep hidden in that rat's maze of yours?!!".  Basil then forcefully grabs her and leads toward Johnson's door and indicates to it and angrily says "There is a woman in that room, that Johnson smuggled in last night! That's the woman I've been trying to get hold of!!".  So, Basil forcefully pushes Sybil back and says to her "Stand there!  And watch!" but by this time, Johnson has managed to smuggle his girlfriend out of his room without Basil knowing.

So, as Basil asks Johnson "It's just that I thought that I'd rather formed the impression that there was someone in the room, there, with you. A female person!".  Johnson says to Basil "Mrs Johnson is in here, yes" and Basil asks her who she is and Johnson replies "She's my mother".  And Basil suddenly smug puts on a cockney accent and says " Your mother? Oh, I see. This bit of crumpet's your old mummy, is she? Oh, this is rich. Old mother Johnson popped up for a quickie, did she? May I meet her?!".  Johnson says rather wearily "Certainly!" and he goes back into the room and Basil mockingly says "Mother Johnson!  Come out!  Come out!  Wherever you are!".  Suddenly a sweet old lady appears and Basil instantly switches on his charm and shakes her hand and says "How do you do?  Are you enjoying your stay here?" and Mrs Johnson smiles and says "Yes thank you" and Basil says "Well, this calls for a celebration!" and everyone walks away and Mr Johnson goes back in his room.

So the episode ends with Basil, now utterly mortified, puts his head in his hands and squats on the floor, pulling his jacket over his head, he starts doing some frog-like leaps of agony just as the Abbotts once again appear at the wrong time and witness him doing something mad.  Mrs Abbott then turns to her husband for advice, who simply says to her "I'm on holiday!" and they go into their room, while Basil oblivious, falls on the floor into a foetal position.

SUM UP

 You never get it right, do you? You're either crawling all over them, licking their boots, or spitting poison at them like some Benzedrine puff adder.

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=fawlty-towers&episode=s02SUM 

So, yes, "The Psychiatrist" is an episode that just builds and builds the comedy up brilliantly throughout and its also another great example of just how neurotic Basil can really be and how as Sybil says of the way he treats the guests, that he's either "licking their boots or spitting poison at them like some benzedrine puff adder!".


Whatever way you want to look at it, I think its a hilarious, great episode and more than deserves to take the top spot here.

Right, so that's it for now and I will be back soon with another post in December (can't believe we are nearly at the end of the year already!).

So, till then, its bye for now!

Top 5 Fawlty Towers Episodes Part 1 - No.5-3

 OK, I thought I would a top 5 list for a wee change than my usual review posts as I have been watching quite a few episodes of the classic comedy TV series, Fawlty Towers lately, so I figured why not do a list of my favourite episodes of the show.   

The series premise as we all know is that it is set in a Toruqay hotel run by the obnoxious and neurotic, Basil Fawlty (John Cleese) and his bossy yet more genial wife, Sybil (Prunella Scales).  And the other regular characters feature, Polly (Connie Booth) a more sensible and capable young chambermaid and receptionist and the hapless Spanish waiter, Manuel (Andrew Sachs).

And because these posts tend to be big, I thought I would split this list into two parts, so the posts aren't too gargantuan!  

So with that all said, let's check in and see what episodes are on the list....

5. The Builders (Series 1) "You are a hideous orangutan!"

Right, so to kick off the list at No.5 is this hilarious episode, "The Builders" which after the pilot episode "A Touch of Class", this episode was the one that really set the tone for the rest of the show and in doing it features many priceless moments, not to mention it sees John Cleese perhaps at his most manic in the show.  Also in this episode, Cleese is appallingly violent to Andrew Sachs, who of course plays the hotel's hapless, Spanish waiter, Manel but I'll get to that in a bit.

STORY 
 

So, basically the episode's story revolves around the hotel needing some renovation work done to the lobby area.  However, Basil wants to use the cheap but very unreliable Irish builder, O'Reilly (David Kelly) than the more reputable builder, Mr Stubbs (James Appleby) which Sybil wants to do the job.  Basil however underhandedly manages to get O'Reilly and his men to do the job, however they bungle it, much to Basil's fury, which also incurs Sybil's wrath when she get's back and sees the mess O'Reilly's men have done to the lobby and she furiously attacks him with an umbrella.

And after Sybil calls Mr Stubbs to arrange to look at the lobby instead and she leaves, Basil insists that O'Reilly continue the work again to put his mess again to rights.  But will O'Reilly be able to complete the job well enough without Sybil knowing????

NOTABLE SCENES 

So, yes this episode has plenty of great moments such as the one where O'Reilly's men show up to do the work and Manuel and Polly have been left to run the hotel, however Polly at this point is having a sleep, so Manual has little choice but to manage things.  And Manuel's poor grasp of English at this point get's him into trouble as he get's on the wrong side of one of O'Reilly's men, Lurphy (Michael Cronin).  And Manuel asks them "You are men???" and Lurphy annoyed asks him "You trying to be funny?!" and Manual asks "You are Orely men?!" and one of the other works eventually catches and says "He means O'Reilly!".  So, Lurphy laughs and says "Yes, that's right!  We are Orely men!" and he turns to the others and quietly says "Thick as a plank".

But then Basil calls up at the hotel to speak to Polly only to get Manuel, who doesn't realises who it is, who get's increasingly annoyed every time Basil calls.  So on the last call, Manuel grabs the phone and aggressively shouts "YES?? YES??? YES???!  Oh, you again!  He not here!  Where are your ears you great big halfwit?!  He no here!".  However, Manuel soon realises he is talking to Basil and he drops the phone fearfully and picks it up and as he talks to Basil, he then asks the men "Which one of you is man with beard?!" and Lurphy steps forward.  So, as Basil tells Manuel something over the phone, Manuel puts the phone down and says to Lurphy "You are a hideous orangutan!" prompting Lurphy punch Manual in the face!

Then there is the scene where the following morning, Basil returns to see that O'Reilly's men have botched the job and his fury mounts as he yells for Polly and Manuel.  And Polly comes down and Basil grabs and says "What have you done to my dining room door?!  Look!".  Polly then blames Basil for hiring O'Reilly and warns him that he would have made a mess.  However, Basil then sarcastically says to Polly "I was thinking it was your fault because you'd been left in charge, or Manuel's for not waking you, and all the time, it was my fault. It so obvious, I've seen the light.  I must be punished, mustn't I?".  So, Basil mockingly spanks his bottom and says "You're a naughty boy, Fawlty! Don't do it again!" and he manically clenches his fists and shouts re: Sybil "What am I gonna do?! She's going to be back at lunchtime!!".  Basil then frantically shouts "I'm a dead man, don't you realise?!  You're dead too, we're all DEAD!!!" and Polly tries to calm him down and shouts "Don't panic!" but Basil now delirious shouts "WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO???!!" and he sobs loudly.  Polly then shouts at him "Pull yourself together!!  Come on!" and slaps him in the face, which snaps Basil out of his wailing and he asks her to slap him again twice, which brings him to his senses.

Basil then calls O'Reilly and sarcastically says to him "How would you like to hear about things my end? Up to your usual standard, I think I could say A few holes in the floor The odd door missing, but nothing you can't be sued for!".  And then Manuel unfortunately shows up at this point, cheerful as ever, only for Basil to try and conceal his anger and he tells O'Reilly "One moment please" and puts the phone down and goes over to Manuel.  So, Basil asks him "What you do now?!" and Manuel says "I server breakfast!" however as Manuel tries to go into the dining room he sees it has been sealed off by O'Reilly's men.  Manuel then says "Where is door?!  Door was here!!" and Basil grins manically and asks "Where?" and he grabs Manuel's head and violently slams it against the wall three times in different places and yells "HERE???!! HERE???!! OR HERE??!!!".  Basil then get's back on the phone and demands O'Reilly come back and fix the mess "No, I don't want to debate about it. If you're not over here in 20 minutes with my door, I shall come over there and insert a large garden gnome in you, good day!".

Then there is the priceless scene where Sybil returns only to find O'Reilly already there and it is soon apparent to her that Basil hired O'Reilly to do the job.  So, Sybil tells Basil firmly "I'm going to make you regret this for the rest of your life, Basil." and Basil, now terrified tries to bluff her "Fair enough but Stubbs is partly to blame...".  Sybil then explodes in fury "BASIL!!!  Don't you dare give me anymore of these pathetic lies!" and Basil says resignedly "Oh, right".  Sybil then rants at Basil "I'm sick to death of you. You never learn, do you? You never, EVER LEARN!!!! We have used O'Reilly three times in the last year and each time it has been a fiasco! That wall out there is still not done! You got him in to change a washer in november and we didn't have any running water for two weeks!".  And as Basil makes a poor attempt to defend O'Reilly, she angrily says just as O'Reilly appears behind her "He's shoddy, he doesn't care, he's a liar, he's incompetent, he's lazy, he's nothing but a half-witted, thick, Irish joke!".

So, as O'Reilly makes the mistake of trying to charm Sybil and says "I like a woman with spirit!" and Sybil asks him "Oh, do you?  Is that what you like?!" and O'Reilly smiles and says "I do! I do!" and Sybil says "Oh, good!".  Sybil then goes and get's an umbrella and advances on O'Reilly and Basil get's in the way and says "Right, Sybil that's enough!" and Sybil hits Basil in the shin and then goes on delivers a flurry of blows to O'Reilly, who screams out helplessly.  And Sybil furiously says to O'Reilly "I have seen more intelligent creatures lying on their backs at the bottom of ponds. I've seen better organized creatures than you running around farmyards with their heads cut off! Now collect your things, and get out!".  Sybil then smacks O'Reilly's bottom with the umbrella and shouts "I never want to see you or any of your men in my hotel again!".

So, after Sybil goes, Basil demands that O'Reilly get back to work to put the job right and he tells them firmly "Where are you going?! Please take your tools back and continue with the work!".  And as O'Reilly is reluctant to carry on, Basil firmly says "We're not going to just put that door back and take that one out. We'll close that one off and put that one through as well. We're going to do the best day's work you've ever done, O'Reilly!!".

However in the end it all goes belly up as the next day when Sybil returns even though O'Reilly appears to have done the job well, Mr Stubbs shows up and tells Sybil that they used a supporting wall to do the job and it "could give way at any minute!".  So, Basil storms out carrying Sybil's garden gnome and Sybil calls after him "Basil, where are you going?!" and Basil says to her without looking back "I'm going to see Mr. O'Reilly, dear. Then I think I might go to Canada!".

So, "The Builders" is a priceless episode and more and deserves to be at No.5 on the list.

4. Waldorf Salad (Series 2) "What is a waldorf?!  A walnut that's gone off??!"

At No.4 is "Waldorf Salad" which must have some of the most quotable lines of dialogue ever from any of the episodes of the show.  Its also a great laugh because Basil finally meets a guest, which he is genuinely scared of in the brash, aggressive American, Mr Hamilton, who is the one who asks him that memorable question "How about Waldorf salad?".

STORY 
 
So, to quickly recap the story, on a very busy night at the hotel, Mr and Mrs Hamilton show up (Bruce Boa and Claire Nelson respectively) expecting to get dinner however they have arrived too late, as the chef, Terry (Brian Hall) has finished for the evening.  Mr Hamilton then bribes Basil money to keep the kitchen open, so they can get their dinner.  However as Mr and Mrs Hamilton sit down for dinner, Mr Hamilton confuses Basil as he asks for a "screwdriver" which is American slang for a vodka and orange juice.  And to make matters worse, Mr Hamilton asks if Basil can make him a waldorf salad, as a starter, to which Basil has no idea what he means.  At this point, Hamilton becomes very aggressive and demands Basil find out if the chef, Terry knows how to make one (however Terry has already gone for the night!).

And its from here that Basil's mishaps and basic inability to get a waldorf salad right and his insistance to put things to right with an imaginary Terry that ultimately cause Mr Hamilton's short fuse to blow and its safe to say that things soon get out of hand....

THOUGHTS 
 
Well, there is no doubt that this was next to "The Germans" the most popular episode of the series and rightly so as it is hilariously funny.  And its an episode where we get to see another peak at Basil's madness as he goes as far as to argue with an imaginary Terry to keep up the charade that Terry was in the kitchen, messing up the food!  And again its another one where Basil really goes off the rails at the end in a hilarious fashion!  Special credit also deserves to go out to the Canadian actor, Bruce Boa, who is great here as Mr Hamilton, the brash American, who bosses Basil around.  

NOTABLE SCENES 

And the the episode itself has plenty of great moments, such as the scene where Mrs Hamilton arrives at reception and Basil notices she is very attractive, so he is automatically charming to her, however its not long before her American and aggressive husband, Mr Hamilton arrives.  And in the scene Mr Hamilton enters with his coat, soaked from the rain outside and he brushes himself off and says "What a drive, huh? Everything on the wrong side of the road, the weather What do you get for living in a climate like this, Green Stamps? It's terrible!".  Basil then replies "Oh, I'm sorry if it wasn't wide enough for you. A lot of the English cars have steering wheels!".

So, as Mr Hamilton asks if they need to reserve a table for dinner, Basil tells them that their chef stops at 9pm.  So, Mr Hamilton, unimpressed, asks "9?!  Hmm!  So, why does your chef stop at 9?!  Has he got something terminal!?".  Basil then replies "No, that is in fact when he stops" so Mr Hamilton says "Now, look, we drove from London to stay here, right? Are you telling me that you can't stay open a few minutes longer so that we can eat properly?".  Basil then says "We can do you sandwiches?" but Mr Hamilton insists "We want something hot!" and Basil offers "Toasted sandwiches?" and Mr Hamilton says "You're joking!".  Mr Hamilton in a state of disbelief then loudly asks "Can you believe this? What the hell's wrong with this country?! You can't get a drink after 3:00, you can't eat after 9:00! Is the war still on?!".

So, as Basil says its because of the staff, Mr Hamilton then firmly says "OK, how much of this Mickey Mouse money do you want to keep the chef on for half an hour?  One, two, three...20 pounds!  That enough?!".  Basil looks at the money, then takes a moment and says "I'll see what I can do" and Mr Hamilton says "Thank you".

Then there is of course the classic scene where Basil parrots on about the novelist, Harold Robbins, producing awful books but then Mr Hamilton tells Basil that he and his wife both like his work, so, Basil starts to backpedal and says "Oh Robb-ins!  Harold Robb-ins!  I thought you meant Harold Robinson!".  So, Mr Hamilton having looked at the menu, then asks "How about waldorf salad?" and Basil carries on waffling about Harold Robinson being awful, so Mr Hamilton again asks Basil "Can you make me a waldorf salad?" and Basil looks lost and asks "A what?" and Mr Hamilton firmly says "Waldorf salad!".  So, Basil, perplexed says "I think we've just run out of waldorfs!" much to Mr Hamilton's disbelief once again, who says "I don't believe this!".

So, Mr Hamilton tries to stay calm and asks Basil "Now, I'm sure your chef knows how to make me a waldorf salad?" and Basil awkwardly says "I wouldn't be too sure" and Mr Hamilton says "But he's a chef, isn't he?".  Basil then tries to suggest something else but then Mr Hamtilon suddenly yells "WELL, FIND OUT WILL YOU?!  JUST GO IN THERE AND SEE IF HE CAN MAKE ME A WALDORF SALAD!!".  So, Basil nervously goes into the kitchen but emerges a few seconds later and says of the imaginary Terry "He's almost got it.  Its lettuce and tomato..." and Mr Hamilton snaps "No! Its apples, celery, walnuts, grapes!!!".

Basil then goes back in and asks Mr Hamilton if he would want any alternative to the waldorf salad and he suggests the grapefruit, which Mr Hamilton gives in and asks "The grapefruit! How's it done?"  And Basil replies "Well, it's halved with a cherry in the centre" which prompts Mr Hamilton to angrily pick up a fork and point it toward Basil and shout "Look! I haven't paid you £20 to have some guy cut a grapefruit in half and stick a cherry in the center!  I want a waldorf salad!!".  So, as Basil is about to head back to the kitchen he asks Mr Hamilton "And if we can't manage the waldorf salad..." which causes Mr Hamilton to become even more enraged.  So, Mr Hamilton yells louder "I WANT A WALDORF SALAD!!  AND TO FOLLOW A COUPLE OF FILET MIGNONS!" and Basil says "Steaks!" and Mr Hamilton says "Steaks!" and Mr Hamilton then sarcastically says "None out of the bottle!" and Basil says "None out of the bottle! Right!".

Then there is the hilarious moment where Basil frantically rummages through boxes in the kitchens looking for the ingredients to make the waldorf salad and Sybil joins him as he looks, as she overheard Mr Hamilton say he paid Basil 20 pounds.  So, in the scene, Sybil asks Basil "What this about 20 pounds, Basil?" and Basil tells her "He gave me 20 pounds to keep the kitchen open! Where does he put things?!".  Basil while rummaging rants "Walnuts! That's a laugh! Easier to find a packet of sliced hippopotamus in suitcase sauce than a walnut in this bloody kitchen!".  Sybil calmly looks for ingredients also and she says to Basil "Right, we've got apples" and Basil manically says "Terrific!  We'll have an apple party!! Everybody brings an apple and STUFFS IT DOWN SOMEBODY'S THROAT!!!".  Basil then asks Sybil "What is a waldorf?!  A walnut that's gone off?!" and Sybil tells Basil it refers to the Waldorf hotel in New York.

So, after that Basil goes out and makes up a story to Mr Hamilton about how a delivery driver was not able to deliver a stock of celery to them to which Mr Hamilton is not interested in at all.  So, as Basil finishes his story he says to him "Quite frankly, if you've got your health, what else matters?!".  Mr Hamilton then looks furiously at Basil and says "What a bunch of crap!" and Basil rather taken aback says "Do you think so?".  Mr Hamilton then stands up and yells at Basil "What the hell's going on here?! It says "Hotel" outside! Now, is this a hotel or isn't it?!!".  Mr Hamilton then says angrily to Basil "You know I've stayed in hotels all over the world and this is the first time I've had to bribe a chef to cook me a meal, then find out he doesn't even have the basic goddamn ingredients!!! Holy cow, can't you see what a crummy dump this is?!!!".  Mr Hamilton then yells at Basil to shut up and listen to him as Basil pretends to shout out to Terry and Mr Hamilton then insists that Basil straighten out the chef

So, Mr Hamilton says to Basil "You're the manager, so you're responsible?! So, what are you going to do about it?!" and Basil nervously says "I'll have a word with him".  Mr Hamilton then firmly says "Man, you gotta tell him, lay it on the line!  Tell him if he doesn't get on the ball, you're gonna bust his ass!".  Basil then asks "Bust his...?" and at this point Mr Hamilton advances to the kitchen shouting "I'll tell him!!!" but Basil stops him from going in and shouts "I'll tell him!!" and he takes a moment and then asks "But his???" and Mr Hamilton shouts "ASS!!" and Basil says "Oh that!".

And lastly there is the last scene where Mr Hamilton finds out that Basil has been pretending all along that the chef was there and he decides to leave and he has it out with Basil in the lobby, which attracts the attention of all the nearby guests.  So, as Mr Hamilton demands Basil ask his customers if they are satisfied they all at first politely say yes, which causes Basil to go into a proud patriotic speech, which is cut short by another guest standing behind him, who says "I'm not satisfied!" and this leads to all the guests expressing their disastisfaction with the service too.  So, Mr Hamilton smugly says to Basil "Satisfied customers, huh?!" and he grabs his tie and twists it out of shape and says "Hot dog!" and leaves.

Basil is then left in a state of frustration and mounting anger and he says to himself "This is typical...absolutely typical...of the kind of...." and he suddenly yells at the guests "ARSE!!!  I have to put up from you people!!!".  Basil then starts to rant at them "You ponce in here expecting to be hand-waited on hand and foot! I'm trying to run a hotel here! Have you any idea of how much there is to do? Do you ever think of that? Of course not! You're too busy sticking your noses into every corner, poking about for things to complain about, aren't you? Well, let me tell you something! This is exactly how Nazi Germany started!!!".

Basil then tells them to get out and he shouts "RAUS!! RAUS!! RAUS!!!" and when Sybil enters and asks what he is doing, Basil tells her "Well, me and the guests have been having a bit of a chinwag and the upshot is, they're off!".  And Sybil bemused asks "Off?!" and Basil tells her "Well, its like this.  Either they go or I go..." however he then changes his mind and tells the guests to come back and that he is going instead and he leaves and waves goodbye to everyone and walks out into the rain and as he stands there he has a thought and heads back in.  So, as Basil re-enters the hotel, he asks Sybil for a room "Now, I'd like breakfast in bed at half past 10:00 in the morning. That's eggs, bacon, sausage, and tomato with a Waldorf salad.....!".

So, "Waldorf Salad" is definitely one of the funniest episodes of the series and one of the best for good reason and its popularity is well deserved especially as it shows the difference between English and American cultures very nicely in such an exaggerated comical manner.  So, it deserves its place here at No.4 on the list.

3. Communication Problems "I know nothing!!"

So, at 3rd place is this episode that started off the second series "Communication Problems" which sees Basil, Sybil and the other staff have to deal with the very difficult, not to mention, hard of hearing and short sighted, Mrs Richards (Joan Sanderson).  Its a great start to the second series and it actually shows that John Cleese has started to exercise a little more restraint in his potrayal of Basil as he is slightly less manic (but only a little!).

STORY

Anyway but a bit about the story of the episode it begins with Mrs Richards showing up at the hotel where she argues with Polly straight off about being served first when there was a customer in line before her.  So, Polly decides to palm off Mrs Richards to Manuel, who's limited grasp of the English language makes Mrs Richards believe that the manager is called "CK Watt" and is aged forty.

Meanwhile, Basil recieves a betting tip on a racehorse from a rare satisfied customer, who tells the horse's name is dragonfly, however Sybil has forbidden Basil from betting anymore, so he decides to place the bet secretly with Manuel's help. Basil is also soon forced to deal with Mrs Richards, who complains that her room is inadequate because she believes it doesn't have a bath, the radiator doesn't work and view outside is invisible (although this is due to her poor vision).  Mrs Richards then demands she recieve a discount to which Basil tells her, Sybil deals with such arrangements.

Mrs Richards next up has another argument with Polly when she asks for toilet paper, however as she just refers to it as "paper", Polly assumes she meant writing paper and says they keep it in the lounge, so Mrs Richard bangs the reception bell and shouts for the manager.  Basil then appears and tries to explain to Mrs Richards that Polly thought she wanted writing paper and not toilet paper however Mrs Richards doesn't use her hearing aid as it runs the batteries down.  So, as Basil demands she turn it on and writes it on paper "TURN IT ON!" she says she needs her glasses, which she can't find but they are actually resting on her forehead and she walks off, leaving Basil exasperated.  Polly however then gives Basil his winnings from the race as the horses he bet on won, which amounts to £75.

Not long after this however, Mrs Richards then complains that £85 has been stolen from her room and insists that Basil have the rooms searched.  Sybil however soon finds Polly counting Basil's money in the office and assumes that she had found it and asks Polly about this, however she bluffs Sybil by saying she won it on the horse that Basil got a bet.  However as Sybil asks Polly what was the name of the horse, Basil frantically tries to illustrate what the name of the horse was, which Polly eventually get's, leaving Sybil suspicious that Basil may have placed a bet.  So, to cover himself, Basil then has the aged resident, Major Gowen (Ballard Berkeley) keep the money for him.

And the next day this leads into the climax of the episode where Basil has to deal with Mrs Richards and also the possibility that Sybil will find out about the bet on the horse.....

THOUGHTS

Communication Problems has always been a favourite episode of mine and it is aided along by a terrific and comical performance by Joan Sanderson as the belligerent, Mrs Richards, who makes life difficult for pretty much everybody she comes across.  Its also great to see the return of the main cast, who effortlessly ease back into their respective roles and John Cleese and Prunella Scales are both great as are Connie Booth and Andrew Sachs, who get's one of the most memorable lines from the series in this episode, which I will get to in a minute.

NOTABLE SCENES

As for some of the episode's notable scenes, well there are plenty of course and to start off there is the one where Polly has her first encounter with Mrs Richards but she quickly get's tired of dealing with her and passes her over to Manuel.  So, Polly says to Manuel "Manuel, could you lend Mrs.Richards your assistance in connection with her reservation?!".  So, Mrs Richards sharply says to Manuel "Now I've reserved a very quiet room with a bath and a sea view. I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation, so please make sure I have it".  However Manuel looks blankly at her and asks "Que?" and Mrs Richards starts getting confused by Manuel's Spanish accent and what he says.  So, she turns back to Polly and says "What is going on here? I ask him for my room, and he tells me the manager's a Mr. Watt, aged 40!" but Manuel tries again and says "No!  FAW-LTY!" and Mrs Richards says "Faulty?!  What's wrong with him?!".




Then there is the scene where Mrs Richards complains to Basil for the first time about her room, so he meets her upstairs.  So, Mrs Richards says to Basil "I was expecting a room with a view!" and Basil mutters to Manuel "Deaf, blind and mad(!)" and Basil says out loud to her "This is the view as far as I can remember, madam. Yes, yes, this is it!".  Mrs Richards, unimpressed then says to Basil "When I pay for a view, I expect something more interesting than that!" and Basil says to her "Well, that is Torquay, madam" and Mrs Richards says "Its not good enough!". 

So, Basil sarcastically says to her "Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically......!".  Mrs Richards interrupts Basil and says "Don't be silly!  I expect to see the sea" and Basil says "You can see the sea, its over there between the land and the sky!".  Mrs Richards protests "I need a telescope to see that!" and Basil says to her "Well, may I suggest that you consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea?!" and he says under his breath "Or preferably in it?!".

Another funny scene is where Mrs Richards is appalled when she asks Polly for toilet paper and she misunderstands her request believing she wants paper to write on, so Polly says they keep it in the lounge.  And this prompts a look of shock and horror from Mrs Richards who exclaims "IN THE LOUNGE??!!" and Polly asks "Do you want plain ones or ones with our address on it? How many sheets?" and this points, Mrs Richards, outraged, bangs the reception bell repeatedly and shouts "MANAGER!! MANAGER!!".  And this brings out Basil, who walks into the room holding his ears and he says "Yes! Testing--testing!". 

Then as Basil tries to explain that Polly thought that Mrs Richards wants writing paper, he insists that she turn on her hearing aid and he desparately says to her "Turn it on!" and he writes it on paper "TURN IT ON!!" and he shows it to Mrs Richards, who isn't wearing her glasses and she says "I can't read that, I need my glasses!".  So, Basil and Polly then try and explain as Mrs Richards rummages around her bag for her glasses that she has them ontop of her forehead and Basil tries to write it and says "Mrs Richards!  They are on your head!" and as he tries to write another note, he gives in and walks into the office.  Mrs Richards then comes back and says to Polly "Are you blind?!  They were on my head all the time!  Didn't you see?" and Polly says "Yes" and Mrs Richards asks "Didn't God give you eyes?!" and Polly sarcastically replies "Yes, but I don't use them because it wears the batteries out!".

Then there is there the scenes where Basil tries to explain to Manuel that he wants him to forget everything about the bet he placed on the horse but Manuel's limited grasp of English as usual, makes this difficult.  So, Basil says to Manuel "You know nothing!" and Manuel seems to take offence and says "You always say, Mr Fawlty but I learn!" and Basil says "No, no, no! You don't understand!  You know nothing about the horse".  Manuel then asks "Which horse?!  Which horse I know nothing??" and Basil says "MY horse, nitwit!" and Manuel says "Your horse "nitwit".  Basil then sharply says "There isn't a horse called nitwit, YOU'RE THE NITWIT!" and Manuel confused asks "What is witnit???".  So, Basil sighs and says "I could spend the rest of my life having this conversation!  Look, please try to understand before one of us dies!  You're going to forget everything you know about Nitwit" and Manuel corrects him "Dragonfly!" and Basil says "Dragonfly! Yes!".

And as Basil is about to finally walk away, Manuel then says "Eventually!" and Basil turns back and asks "What??" and Manuel says "Eventually....at the end!".  Basil then insists "No, forget it now!" and Manuel confused asks "Now????" and Basil then says "Well, pretend you forget!" and Manuel, confused, asks "Pretend?!".  And Basil finally says "Well, don't say anything to anyone about the horse!" and Manuel responds as if Basil has said something stupid and says "I know that, you tell me this morning!".

Then there is the funny moment where Polly tries to suss out the name of the horse that Basil bet on as she pretended that she was the one that placed the bet and Basil frantically stands behind Sybil miming to Polly what the name of the horse is.  So, as Basil starts to wildly mime clues, Polly says "The name? Uh I've gone blank. Birdbrain! Birdbrain? No, no, that came in third. Uh Fishwife! - What? - No No, not that. Small Fly! Fly! Flying Tart! No, no, no, it got off to a flying start, and it's name was Dragonfly!".  So, Sybil says "Thank you, Polly" and seconds just before that, Basil runs off into the lobby and back behind the reception, pretending to do some work.  Sybil then walks up to him and warns him "If I find out the money on that horse was yours, you know what I'll do, Basil..." and she walks off and Basil looks and shouts out "You'll have to sew em back on first!".

Another funny scene is when Mrs Richards complains to Basil and Sybil that money has been stolen from her room and as Mrs Richards challenges Basil on what he will do about it, he starts to mouth his words to her in pretend, forcing Mrs Richards to turn up her hearing aid.  And as Mrs Richards asks "What have you got to say for yourself????!" Basil after silently mouthing words, yells "I SAID I SUGGEST!!!" which causes Mrs Richards to reel back and hit her head on the wall.  And Mrs Richards grabs her head and says "Oh, my head!" and Basil asks her "Has it come away?!" and "You better lie down before something else happens!" followed by him picking something up from the floor and asking her "Is this a piece of your brain??!!".
 
Just quickly there is also of course the classic line from Manuel when Basil pleads with him to tell Mrs Richards that the money the Major gave her was infact his that he won on the horse.  However, Manuel instead stands proudly and announces "I know nothing!" and Basil realises in horror what he means and says "No!  No!  You can tell her!!" and he trembles with rage and says "Please tell her!! Tell her!".  However, Manuel carries on saying "I know nothing!  I cannot!" and he walks up to Mrs Richards and says proudly "I am from Barcelona!" and he walks away.

And last of all there is the scene where the day after Basil gives his winnings to the Major to look after, Basil asks for it back from him, only for the Major to temporarily lose track of where he kept it but to suddenly find and announce it when Sybil and Mrs Richards are there, leaving them to believe its her money instead.  So as the Major hands the money to Mrs Richards, she counts it and says "Its 10 pound short!" and Basil feigns shock and says "Its not!!! 10 pounds short?!  Oh my God!  Don't worry!  We'll have a whip round!" and he starts to frantically try and extract money from a coin box, which prompts Sybil to throw coffee on him (and some on the Major also!).

So, after, Sybil says to Basil "Give it to her, Basil.  I can't find it.  Give her 10 from the till" so Basil angrily says "Right!" so he goes over to the till and bangs his head against it to open it and he takes out the money and he then starts taking his shirt off.  Sybil looks on in surprise and asks "What are you doing?!" and Basil tells her "I'm gonna give her the shirt off my back, too!" and Manuel suddenly turns repeating what he said early "I know nothing!" and Basil glares at him and says "I'm gonna send you to a vivisectionist!". 

And last of all, when a man finally shows up with Mrs Richards money and a vase, Basil takes it from her and he kisses the sky (as if to God) and he gleefully tells Polly "Polly, for the first time in my life, I'm ahead!  I winning!".  So, as Mrs Richards turns up, he laughs triumphantly and asks her to confirm if the money she has is hers or his and she says its hers.  So, Basil gives her another 10 pounds to make up for her shortfall but she notices his money and asks him "What's that?" and he grins and says "This is mine!".  However, as Sybil shows up, he bluffs that the money is Polly's but then it all goes to pot when the Major turns up and announces "Fawlty, you DID give me that money!  You won it on that horse!".  And this prompts, Basil, who was holding Mrs Richards vase, to drop it and it smashes on the floor, prompting Mrs Richards to sharply say "That cost 75 pounds!" so Basil then loses most of his winnings. 




SUM UP

So to sum up, "Communication Problems" is another great episode and its filled with priceless moments from John Cleese, not to mention Andrew Sachs memorable "I know nothing!" line and of course a terrific performance by Joan Sanderson as the impossible to please and deal with, Mrs Richards.  And for me it is easily one of my favourites from the show as it all builds nicely towards the episode's climax where it inevitably all goes pear shaped for Basil.

Right, so that's finally it for Part 1 and I will be back again soon with Part 2 where I will look at my top 2 choices for my favourite Fawlty Towers episodes.

So, until then its bye for now!

What a drive, huh? Everything on the wrong side of the road, the weather What do you get for living in a climate like this, Green Stamps? It's terrible! Sorry about this.

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=fawlty-towers&episode=s02e03What a drive, huh? Everything on the wrong side of the road, the weather What do you get for living in a climate like this, Green Stamps? It's terrible! Sorry 

He's shoddy, he doesn't care, he's a liar, he's incompetent, he's lazy, he's nothing but a half-witted, thick, Irish joke! 

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=fawlty-towers&episode=s01e02

He's shoddy, he doesn't care, he's a liar, he's incompetent, he's lazy, he's nothing but a half-witted, thick, Irish joke! 

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=fawlty-towers&episode=s01e02

He's shoddy, he doesn't care, he's a liar, he's incompetent, he's lazy, he's nothing but a half-witted, thick, Irish joke! 

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_e

Cliffhanger Revisited (Part 2) "It costs a fortune to heat this place!"

OK, I must admit to being rather lazy with the blog posts of late as alot of them have been rewrites of older posts.  So, yes don't worry I will address this soon enough but for now I figured...what the hell?? Let's just do another one in the meantime.

So, the post I will revisit this time is the one I did on the film Cliffhanger, starring Sylvester Stallone (which already has had a revisit!!).  So after almost 25 years, how does this action flick rate????  Well, let's gear up and take another look....

And yes the usual warning is coming....

SPOILERS ARE AHEAD!!!! 

STORY

So the film begins with the main character, Gabriel "Gabe" Walker (Stallone) a mountain rescuer who is sent to pick up his friend and fellow mountain ranger, Hal (Michael Rooker) who is stranded with his girlfriend, Sarah (Michelle Joyner) up on a narrow peak in the Rocky mountains.  Hal manages to transfer himself on a steel cable line over to a rescue helicopter piloted by Jessie (Janine Turner) who is also Gabe's girlfriend.  However after Gabe fixes the harness for Sarah as she transfers over the line, the harness begins to break and she is left dangling on the line.  Gabe goes to rescue her and he grabs just as her harness breaks off but he loses his grip as her glove slips off, Sarah falls to her death 4000 feet below.

After this the story shifts to eight months later and Gabe returns to town since Sarah's funeral, and he is now racked with guilt and no longer climbs.  Gabe asks Jessie if she will come with him but she refuses to leave town as she says this is her home and she is annoyed at Gabe's insistance on feeling guilty over Sarah's death as she feels he did all he could.

Meanwhile the story moves to the US Treasury Department where treasury agent Richard Travers (Rex Linn) is assigned the task of transporting three suitcases of 30 million dollars via plane.  On the plane however Travers turns out to be a turncoat as he kills two of the other agents and wounds an undercover agent who twigs what Travers is up to.  Travers then get's in contact with another plane which is manned by a team of thieves lead by a former military intelligence member, the pyschotic Eric Qualen (John Lithgow).

Travers arranges to transfer the cases by a zip line between the two planes and he goes over himself onto the other plane, however before the cases can be transferred (by Travers pilot who is in on it as well) the undercover agent shoots the pilot and at the thieves plane.  The agent is soon killed however as Travers has rigged explosives on the plane to blow, however as a result the zip line is broken and the thieves lose the cases which fall among the mountains.  The plane makes a crash landing and three of the group die as a result of the crash.

In the meantime as Gabe is about to leave, Jessie informs him of a distress call, which soon turns out to be from the thieves.  Gabe relucantly agrees to go and help find them and he meets up with Hal while climbing up the mountains, who is still angry at Gabe over Sarah's death for which he blames Gabe, but despite that they move on to the thieves location.

On arriving at the plane crash, Qualen and Travers force Gabe and Hal to help them find the cases which they agree to, however as Gabe helps them find the first one, they attempt to kill him but he manages to escape by cutting the rope he was tied to, just as one of the thieves causes a landslide by using a grenade launcher, one of their party is killed.  Gabe then continues to use his skill and knowledge of the mountain areas to try and keep ahead of them as he rejoins with Jessie they work together to try and find the remaining two cases.

Meanwhile Hal is forced to help Qualen's men and Travers find the remaining two cases, although unbeknownst to them he takes them the long way round to buy Gabe some time.  And from here its up to Gabe and Jessie to try and save Hal and find a way to stop Qualen's men and Travers from getting what they want......

THOUGHTS

After making a string of mediocre films during the late 80s and very early 90s such as "Over the top", "Cobra", "Tango and Cash", and "Stop or my mom will shoot!" not to mention the underrated but nonetheless panned "Rocky V" Sly returned to form here with Cliffhanger, which is still a very entertaining and suspenseful action thriller.

It also sees a nice change from the cocky action heroes that Stallone had played previously to this as Gabe is morely an everyday good guy, who has to overcome his own guilt at failing to help save his best friend Hal's girlfriend from dying as well as confront his own fears and get back into climbing.

The setting of the film in the Rocky mountains in Colorado also allows for some spectacular scenery (in reality it was shot in the Dolomites mountain range in Cortina, Italy) and the high altitude sequences also add much suspense to the film and its a nice contrast to the city based action films so overly used today and even of that time.

PERFORMANCES AND NOTABLE SCENES (Warning: this section contains spoilers and strong language!) 

Performance wise things are pretty good in Cliffhanger.

Starting with Sylvester Stallone, who gives a pretty good account of himself in his role as Gabe Walker, the guilt ridden mountaineer who is forced into a situation where he must fight against a group of ruthless thieves.

Stallone also get's some good dialogue in the film and despite his character being less cocky and flashy then what we've seen from Stallone before, he still get's some good quips.  As for a few examples for starters there is the opening scene where Jessie asks Gabe whereabouts he is climbing as they search for Hal and Sarah and Gabe hanging by the rock face says "I'm just hanging out, Jess!".

And in the next scene Gabe teases Hal by revealing how Hal got the bandage on his leg by saying "Oh yeah I remember you twisted it when you lifted that kid out of that hot tub!" and Sarah surprised says "I thought that was an old war wound from Nam!" and Gabe says sarcastically "Really??!".  Then Gabe says to Sarah "What do you say we take off and leave this clown (i.e. Hal) behind??!" so Hal then grabs Gabe's radio and warns Jessie that Gabe is making advances on his girlfriend and is liable to get his ass kicked off the mountain.  So, Jessie replies "Be informed Gabe makes advances to me only or he'll be climbing down alone and sleeping outside!" and Gabe replies "Baby, he lies!".

Another good scene is when Gabe escapes from Qualen and his men and he climbs up a mountain and reaches the top, however he is only wearing a T-shirt and jeans, so he is frozen and he barges his way into an old shelter, where Jessie already is.  So, Jessie runs over to tend to him and Gabe tells her "They've got Hal!  The distress call was a fake!".  Jessie then asks "Fake?  What do you mean it was a fake?" and Gabe tells her "Before they crashed, they dumped cases of money!" and Jessie asks "Who are they?" and Gabe says "I dunno.  They're using Hal to find it.  When they do, he's dead!".  So, Gabe chittering away says to Jessie "You gotta get on the radio and call Frank...and tell him to call the state police!" and he puts on an old ragged jumper that Jessie gave him.  Gabe soon calms down and get's his breath back and says to Jessie "Let's take everything we need. Let's move. We got to get to that next case before they do!".

Then there is the scene where Gabe and Jessie find a cave and rest at night while Gabe has made a fire and uses some of the suitcase money to keep the fire burning.  So, as Gabe throws on some money to the fire, he says to Jessie "It costs a fortune to heat this place!  Bad humour, I know." and the two of them snuggle up for warmth and he says "We better get some sleep.  We're going to need it".  

Another good scene comes when Gabe is confronted by one of Qualen's group Kynette (Leon Robinson) who asks him where the money is, Gabe replies "I burned it.  Never could save anything!".  And this leads into the next scene where Gabe get's his ass kicked by Leon who asks him where the money is, he weakly replies "Sissy!  You hit like a sissy!" but before Gabe turns the tables on Kynette.

WARNING: THIS NEXT PARAGRAPH REFERS TO THE END OF THE FILM!!!!

And lastly there is the scene where Gabe tells Qualen to meet him at the highest point of the mountain range in the helicopter and Qualen flies up there he sees Gabe and says to him on the radio "I must admit you are a real piece of work" and Gabe says "Yeah and I must admit you're a real piece of shit!".  So, Qualen points his gun at Gabe and says of the bag of money that Gabe has "Throw it up, or I'll kill her!" and Gabe says "You do and the cash is gone!  I want you to put her down!" and he points off to his left "Over there!" which Qualen reluctantly does so.  

And this leads into the climactic fight sequence where the chopper ends up going over the edge but it remains attached to a cable that Gabe fit to a rock ladder.  So as the two men fight, Gabe ultimately get's the better of Qualen and beats him up and shouts "Remember, shithead....to keep your arms and legs in the vehicle at all TIMES!!!" and he kicks Qualen, who falls back into the chopper, which plummets below and blows up taking Qualen with it.  And afterward, Gabe catches his breath and looks up and says to himself "I'm outta here!".        

John Lithgow is excellent in his role as the ruthless Eric Qualen, the leader of the thieves, even though he hams it up and puts on a rather questionable English accent, he is quite effective and creepy as the main villain.

And Lithgow has his share of good moments that include the scene where at the start of the hijack of the FBI treasury plane, Travers slides down a zipline to join Qualen and his team on their plane.  And Qualen annoyed asks him "Why didn't you send the money first???!!" and Travers says "Somehow I didn't think you'd wait for me if I sent it first!".  However as their plan goes awry due to one of the surviving FBI agent's shooting Qualen's plane (just before the agent himself is blown up by the charges set on the FBI plane by Travers) they lose the cases of money, which falls thousands of miles below to the surface.  And Qualen says to Travers "So, this is your idea of a foolproof plan?!  You stupid bastard!". 

Lithgow also get's some other good lines of dialogue such as when he first meets Gabe and Hal who ask what is the suitcases and he says "Suits, socks, 30 million dollars, the usual stuff!".  Then Qualen takes Gabe and Hal into the plane and Travers shows the locations of the three cases transponders and Qualen asks them "Do you recognise these locations?".  However after Gabe and Hal say nothing, Qualen warns them "Let me jar your memory. It you don't recognize them, you're useless. Useless items are usually discarded. Right, Travers?!".  Travers annoyed by this responds "Get off my back, Qualen!" to which Qualen says "Off?  I haven't even got on it...yet!". 

Then there is the scene where the two young skydivers, Brett and Evan encounter Qualen and his men with Hal.  And Qualen says to Hal "Walk over" and as Hal pleads with Qualen to leave them alone Qualen says "We're not animals.  Don't force us to be.  Walk over!".  However after Hal yells at Brett and Evan to run for it, Brett is gunned down and Evan just makes it as he dives off the mountain with his parachute.  Hal afterward angrily says to Qualen "You murdering motherfuck!" to which Qualen responds "Kill a few people they call you a murderer.  Kill a million and you're a conqueror.  Go figure!  Move on, Tucker!  Time is short!".

Then there is the scene where Travers attempts to radio in his own people for a chopper as he is afraid to go over a rather precarious looking foot bridge. So, Qualen grabs him and says "You don't get it, do you?!  We're in bed now, joined at the hip, partners in crime!  You've crossed over, Travers, and there's no turning back" and he moves toward the bridge.  

Lithgow's most potent scenes comes when he actually kills his own girlfriend, one of the thieves, Kristel (Caroline Goodall) in an attempt to force Travers to help them find their money (with the use of a tracking device).  And in the scene he grabs Kristel and whispers in her ear "Do you know what real love is, Kristel?  Sacrifice!" just before he shoots her and he says to a shocked Travers "Now I'm the only one that can fly us out of here!  We're partners again". So Qualen throws the tracking device over Travers and angrily says "Now take your toy and find our money!" and he throws Kristel's body aside and he sits down in the chopper and says "Radio me when you find it.  I'm waiting here!".   

And last of all is the scene near the end when Qualen get's a surprise radio call from Gabe and he says "Walker!  You resilient bastard, so you are still alive!".  And as Qualen holds Jessie hostage in the helicopter he says to Gabe "You get the picture, Walker.  I wan't that money.  Meet me at the highest point from where you are, or else I'll find it this little angel of yours can fly!" to which Gabe agrees.  And afterward, Qualen says to Jessie "Love's a killer, isn't it?".

Michael Rooker is also pretty good as Gabe's good friend, Hal, who at first holds a grudge against him, but he quickly put his differences aside as he tries to help Gabe escape whenever he can, by slowing down the thieves as he guides them to their cases.  And its good to see Rooker, who usually plays the bad guys in his films, play a good guy for once.

And Rooker has his share of good scenes in the film such as the one where at the start of the film, where Hal and his girlfriend, Sarah, are rescued by Gabe as they were stranded up on a mountain (well sort of saved!).  And in the scene Gabe sort of hits on Sarah and Hal grabs his radio and says to Jessie "Please be advised that Ranger Walker is making advances toward my girlfriend...that's liable to get his ass kicked right off this mountain, over!".

Another good moment is when Hal confronts Gabe for the first time since his girlfriend's funeral.  In the scene Gabe angrily says "You didn't love her and you didn't have to explain to her family!" and Gabe says "And you didn't have to look into her eyes when she was falling!  Now drop it!" and Hal grabs him and very nearly pushes him over a cliff edge and he says "NO, BUDDY! It was YOU who dropped it!".  And as Gabe perilously stands over the egde he says to Hal "You wanna do it?  Do it!" but Hal shakes his head and let's go of him and says "No! You live with it!".   

Then there is the scene where Hal deliberately misleads Qualen and Travers by taking them the long way round to the next case.  However, Travers nearly twigs this at one point and says to him "Wait a minute.  It looks like a winding route to me" and Hal says "The fastest way is right up the east face.  Of course there's only about twelve guys in the world who can do it. You wanna try it?!".  

Rooker's best scene in the film comes when he faces off against one Qualen's thugs, Delmar (Craig Fairbrass) who is about to shoot, but when Hal goads him to, Delmar instead kicks his ass and yaks on about soccer.  And in the scene Hal says "Hey Delmar, from me to you, you're an asshole!" and later "In a minute I'll be dead and YOU will always be an asshole!".  And as Delmar is about to kick him off the cliff, Hal manages to surprise Delmar by quickly grabbing a knife he had in his trousers and stabbing it into Delmar's leg and Hal grabs the thug's shotgun and says "SEASON'S OVER ASSHOLE!" just before he blasts him off the cliff.

WARNING: THIS PARAGRAPH REFERS TO THE END OF THE FILM (AGAIN!!)

And lastly there is the final scene of the film where the bad guys are all taken care of (in the Jules Winfield sense of the word! i.e. as Samuel L Jackson's character in Pulp Fiction who once said "taken care of!") and Gabe is helped back up the mountain by Hal and Jessie.  So, Hal teases Gabe and says "Hey, buddy, you couldn't have put a little more effort into that climb?!  I thought you were in shape!" and Gabe weakly says "I'm guess I'm falling apart!".  And as the FBI agents get in touch over the radio frequency (and Hal in the scenes talk to them with a radio he took from Delmar earlier in the film) Hal fills them in.  So, Hal says to the agents "If you're looking for Mr. Qualen... try about 4,000 feet south of here. He'll be the one wearing a helicopter! Over!". 

Rex Linn is also pretty good in his role as the corrupt treasury agent, Travers, who is in cahoots with Qualen albeit somewhat relucantly, as they both despise one another.  Linn also has some good moments in the film such as his opening scene where one of the treasury agents Wright (Paul Winfield) calls treasury agents the most superstitious prompting Travers to says "We should be!  Everyone wants what we have!".

And there is also the scene where Travers transfer between planes to Qualen's plane, but he does it before he sends the money.  So when Travers reaches Qualen's plane and he is taken in, Qualen angrily asks "Why didn't you send the money first?!" and Travers replies "Somehow I didn't think you would wait for me if I sent it first!".

Another good scene is when just after Qualen's plane crashes in the rocky mountains and Qualen demands to Travers "Give me the tracking monitor!" and Travers says "What the hell are you gonna do with it?!" and Kynette warns Travers "Don't make him ask you twice!  Give it to him!".  So, Travers takes the tracking monitor for the cases and hands it over to Qualen "You want it? Here! Take it.  Its only got 50,000 key code variations in it!".  This angers, Delmar who comes at him and shouts "I'm gonna break your fucking neck in a minute!" and Travers angrily says back "Yeah, go ahead and break my fucking neck!" as he lunges for Delmar but he is held back.  So, Travers shouts at them "In case any of you slept through the landing...you're gonna need all the money you can find to buy your way out of this country!  YOU know it and I know it!".   

Then there is the scene Hal, Qualen, Travers and the others are about to encounter Brett and Evan and on their radios, they hear Frank come as he is sweeping the area in his chopper.  So, Qualen says "Looks like we're drawing a crowd" and Travers quips "We're down to a few hours before the whole fucking world shows up!" and he asks Hal of the cases  "Where's the next one?" and Hal replies "On the tower".  Qualen then asks Hal "How far?" but Hal doesn't respond straight away, so Travers impatiently grabs Hal by the throat and yells at him "He asked you how far, goddamnit!! You know what I think?  I think we've been taking the scenic route!  NOW, HOW FAR IS IT???!!" and Hal gasps and responds "Half a day!". 

Another good scene from Linn is where Travers get's a lock in on the last remaining case of money and he says to Delmar "I've got it locked in".  So, Delmar asks him regarding Hal "So, we're finished with him, yeah?" and Travers says "Yeah and do it quietly.  Your insane boss just made enough noise for anyone within 10 miles to hear us" and he walks off and says "Its been fun!".  So after Hal survives his brutal encounter with Delmar and (SPOILER!!!!!) by shooting him off the mountain with Delmar's shotgun, Travers, far off sees the body fall in the distance over the cliff and he says "I said quietly!". 

Last of all is Linn's best scene where Travers finally snaps, as he tries to locate the last case but instead he finds a bunny rabbit has the transponder device on it and he goes bananas with his machine gun and contacts Qualen and berates him on the radio.  And Linn get's some good dialogue in the scene where he says to Qualen "They beat us!  A couple of fuckin mountain rangers beat us!  They beat the man no law agency ever could! And I'm finding that pretty tuckin' hilarious, Qualen!".  Travis then continues his rant to Qualen "It's hard to believe I sold out after 20 years... and this is my payback? To run on a mountain with a fuckin' dirtbag like you!".  Qualen responds angrily "Travis, you've lost your mind!" and Travis says "I lost it?!  Fuckin A', I lost it!  Pure fuckin section eight!".  Qualen then finishes by saying to Qualen "I gotta go.  I'm on my last official manhunt!  Adios motherfucker!" and he signs off and throws away the tracker and sets his sights on hunting down Gabe.
  
Janine Turner next is very good also as Gabe's girlfriend, Jessie, who helps Gabe out in trying to find the cases of money and to try and reach Hal as well as fight off the baddies.  Turner has some good moments in the film, and her funniest line comes when she flies the chopper at the start of the film up the mountains and she sees Gabe climbing and she says "I don't recognise him, but the butt looks familiar!".

Turner also has another good scene with Stallone near the start of the film where Jessie says to Gabe "Why don't quit hoarding all the guilt!  You held on as long as you could!".  And as Gabe says "I don't think you understand" Jessie says "I think I'm the only one who understands!  You know there were times where I didn't know what to do more, love you or hate you.  But one thing I do know is that I understand you".

Then there is the scene where Jessie senses something is wrong with Hal and Gabe after hearing Hal's responding transmission just after he has been captured by Quanlen's men.  So, Jessie back at the rocky mountain rescue office says to Frank "He said the tower, but he's on Comb Bluff. Frank, fly me to the west valley. The winds are never too strong there. It's only a half-hour climb to the Douglas Shaft. It's the only shelter around. Hal would have to go there!".  Frank however shakes his head and says "That is a bad idea, Jessie.  Hal would have my head!" and Jessie tries to flatter Frank "And its such a handsome head.  Come on, Frank.  I'll buy one of your paintings!".   

And lastly there is the scene where Gabe and Jessie prepare to use the old rope they got to rappel down the mountain.  So Gabe says to Jessie "The ledge is too far. Take this rope and pull it apart and tie it together. We're gonna rappel down!" and Jessie asks "This rope is 60 years old, do you think it will hold?" and Gabe says "Don't think so" and Jessie says "Bad answer!". 

Leon Robertson is also good as the brutal henchman, Kynette who in his best scene where he confronts and later beats up Gabe and demands where the money is.

And at the start of the scene Kynette springs up on Gabe as he pops his head out of the cave he has just climbed up and Kynette says to him "Your life is on sale, Walker!  The price is 30 million!  Where is it?!".  And as Gabe says he burned it Kynette says "Not even a dumb mountain boy like you would burn 30 million dollars!" and then he says "I don't make deals, Walker but I'll make one with you.  Hand over the money and I'll just kill you and not the girl!  Now give me the money!" which prompts Gabe to agree but then he lifts his pick axe out of the snow and slashes Kynette's leg with it as Gabe falls back down into the cave.

And as Kynette beats up Gabe, he shouts at him "I'm gonna ask you just three times....WHERE'S THE MONEY??!!!" and Gabe says "Sissy!  You hit like a sissy!" so Kynette kicks Gabe again and he yells "WRONG ANSWER, MOTHERFUCKER!!".   So, Kynette grabs Gabe and yells "GET UP!  I'm gonna ask you a second time....where is the money?!!" and Gabe replies sharply "Burned it!" and Kynette glares with fury and shouts "WRONG...ANSWER!!" and hits Gabe in the face with his knuckle duster.  So, before Kynette goes in for the kill, he get's the film's best line which is "It amazes me in this day and age that a man would put money before the personal safety of himself and his bitch!  I want you to go to your grave knowing, I'm gonna treat the bitch RIGHT!" but then Gabe turns the tables and kills him instead!

Craig Fairbrass (who was known in Britain for his role in Eastenders) also makes a decent impression as one of Qualen's thugs, Delmar

Fairbrass also has another good moment where Qualen's group loses another of their men and Hal smiles saying "Gravity is a bitch ain't it?" and Delmar shouts "Fuck the money and fuck you!  I wasn't born to die on no fucking mountain!".  And Kynette sarcastically asks "Where were you born to die?  You gotta place picked out?!" and Delmar warns Kynette "I don't need to hear that fucking shit from you, boy!" causing Kynette to angrily grab Kynette by his hair and hold his knife to his throat yelling "Maybe this boy should make your mouth a little bigger!".       

And Craig's best scene comes when Delmar kicks the crap out of Hal and Hal does his best to goad Delmar into beating him up before killing him.  So, as Hal calls Delmar an asshole, Delmar responds "Yeah?  Well, you're a loud mouth, punk slag, who is about to die!".  So, Hal says to him "Maybe.  But in a minute I'll be dead and YOU will always be an asshole.  So go ahead and shoot.  SHOOT!!" so Delmar grabs Hal and says "Who's shooting?" and he headbutts him.

So as Delmar proceeds to kick the shit out of Hal he taunts him saying "Do you like socceer?  Its a great sport!  I was a fucking good striker!" and he stamps on Hal's calf, who screams out "God, Fuck you!!".  So, Delmar says "You're swearing now!  That's a penalty kick!  Unsportsmanlike!" and he kicks Hal a few more times.  Delmar then walks back as he prepares to delivery one final almighty kick and he says to Hal "Striker lines up at the penalty spot. He focuses on the ball. The crowd is on its teet. Striker moves to his lett. He draws back his foot. He comes in....".  Delmar delivers one more brutal kick to Hal, which just about sends him over the edge as Hal desparately tries to hold on, Delmar puts his foot on Hal's hand and laughs sadistically.  Hal however manages to open the switchblade he took earlier from Frank and stabs Delmar in the knee with it, takes his shotgun and yells at a panicked Delmar "SEASON'S OVER, ASSHOLE!!!!" and shoots him off the cliff.

Ralph Waite also puts in a nice performance as the rescue team's search and rescue pilot, Frank, and he has an amusing scene where he does a painting of what appears to be a banana and he says to Hal "This is a banana eating a monkey!  Nature in reverse!".  Hal bemused asks Frank "Where?" and Frank points at the painting "Right there!" and Hal laughs and says "He looks like a normal guy...but he's not, are you, Frank?!" and Frank offended says "Hey, I'm an artist!".  

Waite also has a good moment in the opening scene where he pilots the helicopter while they search for Hal and Sarah and as Jessies teases Gabe when she spots him climbing the mountain and says "I don't recognise the face but the butt does look familiar" Gabe says "Hey careful or you'll embarass old Frank!" and Frank replies "It would take a heap more than that, rock jock!".

But its also worth noting in the opening scene of the film that Waite as Frank appears to have a rather mad looking grin on his face when Sarah falls to her death as its almost like he was enjoying it!  Of course it is more likely just the expression that Waite had on his face in that given scene but even still it makes you think "Frank, what a sick bastard you are grinning at a time like this!".

Caroline Goodall is also good in her role as Kristel, Qualen's girlfriend (although it is actually never explicitly stated in the film that she is) and she, too has some good scenes such as the one near the start of the film where after Qualen's plane crash lands in the rockies and Kristel sends out a fake distress call, which Hal picks up.

So, in the scene as Hal responds on his radio, Kristel fakes an American accent (as she is English) and Kristel says "Oh, thank God! Ah, we're stranded. We were hiking and lost our bearings. We didn't expect the weather to come in this fast!".  And as Hal asks how many people are in their group, Qualen indicates five to Kristel who says to Hal "Five people. I don't know where we are. I-- I see only a cylinder-type rock formation. Over!".  So, as Hal tells her to stay calm and he is on his way, Kristel feigns desparation again as she says to Hal "Please hurry! Billy's going into shock! Please, we need insulin! Please, hurry!".  Qualen then shuts off the radio and looks at Kristel, impressed, he strokes her face gently and says to Travers "We need insulin?"  Would you have thought of that?". 

Then there is the scene where Kristel rigs a mountain bridge with explosives, and as she sets it, she says to Qualen "Its ready".  And after Kristel finishes, Qualen watches her and says "You'll make someone a fine wife some day" and she replies "You should see me bake a cake!" and he smiles.

And last of all there is the scene where Frank lands the chopper nearby as he sees Kristel lie face down in the snow, which is just a ruse so they can get the chopper.  So, as Frank goes to Kristel, he says "Where's the rest of the group?" and Kristel slowly get's up and the suddenly grabs Frank's gun and points it at him and says "Welcome!".  Frank looks surprised and asks "What are you doing?!" and Kristel aggressively says "Now, back off!" and Frank says "I came here to help you!" and Delmar suddenly appears armed with his machine gun, who says "You did.  Don't move".  And at this point, Hal, who was held at gunpoint by Qualen and Travers is let go and rushes toward Frank yelling at him to get the hell out of there only for Delmar to then gun down Frank.  Kristel then furiously get's up and yells at Delmar "YOU STUPID MANIAC!!  No one told you to shoot!" and Delmar says "We've wasted enough time".  

And lastly Paul Winfield makes a good albeit brief appearance in the film as a treasury agent, Walter Wright who later uncovers Qualen's plot to rob the US Treasury.  And Winfield delivers one of the film's most ironic lines near the start when he reassures one of the undercover agents that "Armoured cars can be hijacked, trains derailed but nobody can touch us in flight!".  Travers then says "Haven't lost a bill in 12 years. Don't jinx me now!" and Wright then smiles and says "I swear Treasury agents are the most superstitious people in the government!" and Travers says "We should be! Everbody wants what we have!".   

DIRECTOR AND MUSIC 

Getting onto the direction, Renny Harlin (who was best known for directing Die Hard 2) does a fine job with Cliffhanger and he skillfully shoots the spectacular climbing sequences as well as handling the film's gritty action scenes and suspense very well.  He also creates some interesting visual shots such as the scene where we see a distant shot of the mountain where on the top Hal leads the thieves and thousands of feet below we can see Gabe and Jessie work their way toward finding the remaining cases.

The film's music score is also pretty good which was written and composed by Trevor Jones, and it has several tense and dramatic passages which work very well and the film's main theme is also memorable.  The score also has a resemblance to Jones's score for The Last of the Mohicans and it also even echoes part of his score for Mississipi Burning during the night time scenes where Qualen's men chase Gabe.  So as a score it still holds up pretty well to this day.  

FLAWS 

As for flaws does Cliffhanger have any?????  Yeah its not entirely perfect.

And to begin, I felt that the story in itself is pretty flimsy and there's nothing really new there, as its just another cliched story of bad guys wanting money, and the hero trying to overcome his own demons and adversity.  I also thought some of the sequences in the film were a bit daft such as the scene where Gabe climbs up the mountain face having just escaped Qualen's men in the harsh freezing snowy conditions, wearing only a T-shirt on top, yet somehow he doesn't freeze to death in the process!  And when Gabe finally reaches the top and the shack where Jessie is waiting and she gives him a jumper as soon as he puts it on he almost stops shivering immediately, which marks a pretty quick recovery for a man who almost certainly would have died from hypothermia due to being exposed to such cold temperatures only wearing a T-shirt!

The film's violence is also pretty strong and there are one or two moments that could leave an audience cold (no pun intended) such as the scene where Qualen shoots Kristel or the young skydivers being mercilessly gunned down by Qualen's men.  The censors were also pretty strict on the violence in the film and in America they made several trims to the film's violent scenes and the initial DVD release over here was also heavily censored.  The main cuts to the DVD release in the UK included the scene where Kynette beats up Gabe and where Delmar kicks Hal's ass.

The film also on some levels could also be accused of being a little racist, especially in its depiction of the character of Delmar, who in one scene (which was initially edited in the British DVD release) harbours a grudge toward Leon (who threatened him with a knife earlier on) and he says to Kristel "Good, and blow up that black bastard while you're at it.  Save me the time of doing it meself!".  This scene and all the others cuts were of course restored in the UK Blu-ray release of Cliffhanger which is still uncut and rated as a 15, even though at the time those cuts were made in order for the film to prevent it from receiving an 18.   

The film also features one or two redundant characters such as the two young sky divers Brett and Evan who provide us with some daft dialogue particularly in one scene where the two of them camp for the night.  And in the scene, Brett asks Evan "Where would rather be right now?  Here at tent city or back home playing some righteous air hockey?" and Evan says "Air hockey got my vote" and Brett says "Exactly cheeshead, exactly!" leaving Evan to bemusingly ask "Cheeshead?" and Brett confirms "Cheesehead".  It almost seems like they appeared to have been added as an afterthought for the sake of the MTV generation (well OK maybe not but its just my theory!).

Another problem I had with the film was to do with how Gabe is one minute shown driving away from Jessie's place, intent on heading back to Denver despite Jessie's best attempts to try and persuade him to help out Hal with what turns out to be Qualen's fake distress call.  However in the next scene we suddenly see Gabe up the mountain having decided to help out Hal!  I just think there should have been a transitional scene in there somewhere that showed Gabe changing his mind, even if he drove off so far and then decided to stop and turn the jeep around!  So, I just think Gabe's decision to help out Hal should have been handled better in the film than it actually was. 

Another scene which I found puzzling is where Kristel sets the explosives over the bridge and while she does it Qualen appears to be holding her at gunpoint!  And you have to ask yourself: if he is then why???  I mean she is on his side after all and its not like she wouldn't be willing to do what he asks of her.  It may of course just be a poor bit of perspective in terms of direction and in a earlier shot in the scene we see that Qualen has his gun held lower down to his side but in the next shot he clearly appears to be holding at Kristel like "Don't you screw this up!".  Its nothing of great significance but its a small but puzzling niggle all the same.  

I also thought the film had a pretty stupid climax with Gabe fighting with Qualen in the mountain rescue helicopter which has crashed and gone over the edge of the cliff and is hanging by the remaining rungs of the ladder (which Gabe wrapped around the helicopter's landing skids, which are steadily coming loose because of the weight of the helicopter.

And the sudden ending (PLOT SPOILER) with Gabe having dealt with Qualen, they receive a call from the Treasury agents who are enroute to save them and Paul Winfield's character says "Just sit tight for now" and the credits role.  So in this regard you wish you kind of saw some sort of aftermath for the characters having made it safely down, rather than, pardon the pun, just leave them hanging!

Anyway that's it for the flaws.  

SUM UP

So to sum up Cliffhanger is still a very entertaining and suspenseful action film which has some spectacular visuals and some good action in it as well.  The film does of course have some cheesy action movie moments and a pretty hammy villain and it also stretches its credibility in quite a few places especially with its over the top climax but if you can forgive that then Cliffhanger is still one of Stallone's most enjoyable action films.

Right, so that's it for now and hopefully the next review I will do will be a new one, which possibly could be a review of the latest DC movie, Justice League.

So, till the next one, its bye for now!